by E. F. Jacks
He raises me toward him and we roll back onto the cozy sleeping bag.
Ellis descends on top of me. The power of him above me is so overwhelming I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his back without hesitating.
Brushing a lock of hair away from my forehead, he puts a shirt under my head for comfort. He places his hot hands on my knees. Then he looks deep into my eyes and sets his hands at either side of my shoulders.
My legs tense as I widen them to accommodate him as he lowers himself into me. He enters all the way inside me with a final, startling rush.
He moves in and out of me until we buck and shake as one. I can’t even…I can’t even think straight. Every single part of me tickles with instant gratification. I take everything this wonderful man offers.
Afterward, I’m on my side next to Ellis on the sleeping bag. My back is snug against his wide chest as I lean into his shoulder, with his heart stirring close to me.
“You know, you’re pretty shy, considering your past,” he says.
I steel myself for a salacious comment, but his voice is warm as he continues.
“That guy, your ex, he’s a moron. Everything about you is already gorgeous.” He bends into me and his lips skim the crown of my head.
Starlight glimmers into the tent and spreads a glow over our naked bodies. Ellis’s flat stomach forms a hollow for my back. With my head resting on his broad shoulder, I slide a look back to his muscular arms and chest. My eyes drift down to my own body, to my stomach with its slight curve, and my rounded, tipped breasts. My skin appears so light against his. When I cast a final, self-conscious glance down to my lush thighs, Ellis reassures me of their appeal to him by crushing their flesh in his hands. He angles his mouth to me and his lips slather mine in a lasting kiss.
Something falls to the ground outside the tent, and the loud sound rings out around us. Ellis moves out from behind me as I lift my head from his shoulder and sit up.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“That noise—I should check it out.” He rises and pulls his jeans over his legs, fastens them at his fit waist.
“It sounded like a tree branch. It’s probably nothing.”
“I want to check it out.” His back is to me, and from his voice, it seems he believes the noise might have been something more dangerous than a falling branch. He grabs his gun.
Ellis pushes back the flap and his footsteps carry far from the tent. I prepare myself to wait for him, with my legs arranged out to my side. As I lean on my hand, my other hand passes over the floor, searching for something to dress myself with. Our clothes are arrayed all around the dark tent. I nab a blanket with two fingers and drape it over my increasingly cold skin.
My mind races. Am I shaking from the dark, or because I don’t know what is out there and if Ellis will return? I’m nibbling on something hard, and realize I’ve brought my thumb to my mouth and am chewing on my fingernail. Ellis’s name burns in my mind. It wasn’t that long ago that I found myself contemplating what I’d do if he left and didn’t return, and I think about this again. He wouldn’t abandon me on purpose. Only if something happened to him.
I didn’t snap the flap closed after Ellis left and it waves out in the wind. My chest tightens as my hand covers my mouth to silence my breathing. What if Ellis doesn’t come back? My eyes scan for a place to hide. I get down on all fours, and as I crawl to the darkest corner of the tent, the blanket slides off my back. Huddled in the corner, my body moves in flashes of creamy white skin in the darkness.
The tent’s flap is pushed in and a large hand appears on my side. The cry I release startles me.
The figure enters the tent bent over, and when he stands up to his full height, I realize it’s Ellis. Hopping up I lunge toward him, not grasping I’m completely naked until he’s gathered me in his arms and his hand pats my behind.
“Nice,” he says, with a grin.
My face warms from embarrassment. He’s being charming and playful, and I know I should laugh. Yet I lean away from him.
Ellis scans my body with an appreciative glance. He moves forward and pushes my hair away from my shoulders so it tumbles down my back. A flat quality to his voice brings to mind that his going outside to investigate the noise was purely for show. But, why? “Everything’s okay,” he says with a comforting smile.
After the love we made, not trusting him is the last thing I desire.
Chapter Fifteen
Ellis
Last night I’d gone outside to check things out not only to save face in front of Pauline and keep up the protector routine, but also because I’d been freaked out, too. Sure, the commotion could have been a tree branch falling, but…I never signed up for any of this, no matter how much I’ll be compensated. My memory’s still not terrific these days, but I’m pretty sure none of this was part of the plan.
The doctors at the veterans’ hospital, before I checked myself out—left without telling anybody, actually—informed me I’d been diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury. I suffered a head trauma in battle in Afghanistan after a blast. They said I wouldn’t be able to return to duty. Ever. I was devastated. The events right before and after my injury are like looking through smudged lenses.
It seemed like it took such a long time for any feeling to come back to my hands that for a while I was worried I would never feel what it was like to touch a woman’s soft skin again. And my senses were so fucked up that almost anything I ate or drank tasted bitter except, oddly, booze. I drank too much to deal. Guess what? It didn’t help. Sometimes I still drink.
The snippets of my past come and go as quickly as dreams and nightmares would. Dreams of my home life before the war, and nightmares of my time spent on the battlefield. Even the snippets took a long time to return. One by one the memories have reappeared. And are still returning.
In one small part of my mind there’s Linda, the girlfriend I left behind when I joined the Marines. When I returned she was getting married to another guy. He’s very well-off and a big shot, according to the wedding announcement I read in the newspaper. He looks like a decent guy, at least on paper.
As soon as the newspaper was delivered to my hospital room by one of the candy stripers after I’d woken from my coma, and I saw the notice about Linda’s wedding, I formed a plan to get out of the hospital to stop her from marrying the guy. No one—what was left of my estranged family—had come to claim me in the hospital.
At the time, escaping for Linda seemed like a good idea, because I didn’t remember much about myself but I did remember her. So I figured she must have been something amazing. Her creamy skin. Soft blond hair. Sexy green eyes. Her honey-like voice.
She met that guy during the time when she probably thought I was never returning. By the time I realized who she was to me, it was too late.
I arrived at the church when she was already stepping into the chauffeured limousine with her prince after the ceremony. I’d planned to go up to her and tell her I was alive. But she’d looked so joyful, I knew I was too late and had already lost her love to someone else.
I didn’t return to the hospital. Or go back to a military career, although it’s my military background that now stands out the most in my mind. I don’t think I ever forgot how to clean, load, or fire a gun.
After I released myself from the hospital, I got fired from the one legit job I could find, because I couldn’t perform the tasks as fast as my colleagues. Or as my boss said, I wasn’t focused. But because I did remember most of the skills I’d learned in the Marines, I made use of them in my next job.
This morning Pauline’s naked on the sleeping bag we used all night. She’d woken up every so often during the night and kept me company while I watched out for movements and noises outside. Keeping me company is a funny way to put what we did to each other on and off the whole night. Good thing she said she’s on the Pill. I’ll admit I didn’t keep as close of a watch on the woods outside as I should have last night.
T
he sight of the sexy fine points of her wrists and ankles get me starved for her again. She looks so calm and fucking gorgeous with her eyes shut and her breathing so soft. I’ll let her sleep.
As I dress to head outside, my eyes drift over her curvy body. The luminous tops of her shoulders. Her shapely breasts and pretty, tight pussy. The long, creamy softness of her legs. To think all of this could be mine. But not if I tell her the truth. If I do that, then she’ll more than despise me—I could also get into a lot of trouble.
I know myself better than anyone. After this is all over, I’ll leave her and disappear, and no matter how hard she tries to find me, she won’t. No matter how much the love I have for her will make me feel like fucking hell while I’m away from her, I won’t return to her.
I’ll go onto the next job, onto a different woman, and keep at it until who knows when. But I don’t want that kind of life anymore, and I never did. Pauline presents the first real possibility I’ve had to escape my rough way of living.
But it’s better if she stays away from me.
It’s chilly in here, and I pull the blanket up to Pauline’s shoulders. I want to surprise her. I move about with stealth when I poke through my bag to find what I’m looking for: the last of the tin of coffee I brought and the stainless steel pot. The tin’s mostly the dregs of the grinds now. But it should be enough to brew one cup for her. I snatch my journal and a box of matches, then bend and brush the tent’s flap aside to exit. I hated it when Pauline found my journal and my medications. I was humiliated. But she hasn’t badgered me with a lot of questions.
I gather and set out dry sticks for a fire. I don’t need to open my journal to remember how to light it. That happens sometimes. As the water boils, I’m grinning as I swing my arms out to my sides and stretch them above my head while I wait. The morning air is crisp, and the white sky is already imbued with sunlight. A perfect day. At least it would be perfect if not for all that’s been occurring along the miles we’ve left behind, and my assignment.
Though I’m not as worried about someone spotting the fire in the daytime, I beat it out anyway once the water’s hot. The smoke might attract someone’s curiosity.
I duck my head and step back into the tent. “Well, we made it through the night.”
At the sound of my voice, Pauline moves onto her side and rubs her eyes. She extends her arm up to take the warm mug from my hand, and the blanket slips from her body. “Sorry it’s not a latte and that there’s no cream or sugar.” Not that I know which she prefers. “Do you like cream or sugar? Both?”
“Cream, usually.” She smiles up at me.
My eyes roam over her high-pointed breasts. Her nipples are tantalizing pink buds. She glances at me and covers herself with the blanket again. With my jeans mere inches from her face, the sight of her buttery skin cloaked in the pure white cloth has such an effect on me I have to shift my feet and turn to my side to not shove my big hard-on in her face.
The corners of Pauline’s plump, pink lips turn up into a pleased smile, as though she’s aware of why I’m not facing her. With her skin bare of makeup, her beauty is radiant. Even the smallest things about her are beautiful. In the morning light, the chipping red polish sparkles on her toenails that peek out of the blanket. Outlined beneath the woven blanket, her feet have a sexy curve to them.
“Who cares about lattes out here? At least this is real coffee.” Her eyes shine brightly. “That’s all that matters. We haven’t had coffee since things started getting crazy. I’ve practically been dying here.”
I chuckle at her feistiness. “Well, that’s the last of it, so enjoy it.” Making love last night definitely lightened the mood somewhat. Her fingers linger over mine when I pass the mug to her.
She has the mug wrapped protectively in her hands and lifts the rim to her mouth and sips. “The coffee’s amazing, thank you. But, egh. With what’s been happening, it’s hard to enjoy anything again.” Her tongue flicks over her lips as she draws her eyes to the floor.
I hunker down alongside her. My hand molds into the warm small of her back. “We’ll get through this. I promise you. No matter what happens beyond this point, I will get you home.”
Pauline smiles up at me and brings the mug to her lips. She pauses before she drinks. “Hey, where’s your mug?”
“There was only enough coffee for the one cup.”
“You should have taken it, Ellis. You’ve been up all night watching out for us both.”
I rub the curve of her smooth, bare shoulder. “I wasn’t the only one up most of the night.”
She looks away, but I see the outline of her smile. I never would have expected coyness from her, and it’s endearing.
Pauline sets down the coffee. “I’m scared, Ellis. I might not always show it, but I am.” Her face is tilted away from mine.
I bend down on my knees and pull her into me, drape her in my arms. Her body loosens as she sinks deeper against my bare chest. Her nipples harden against my skin. The whispers of her breathing stir my heart. Even as my ears ring and my head pounds, she’s all I can hear.
Heat seeps into my face as Pauline gets on her feet and her tongue traces over her lips. A slight movement, but one I find hot and irresistible. I rise after her and press my finger to her dry lips, run it across them.
“You could use some help getting wet.” I bring my voice down low.
Pauline’s eyes stretch wide. I don’t allow her time to ask whatever question is on her mind. I lean in close, touch one side of her face and caress her lips with mine. I can feel her wavering, and I wait for her to relax before I pull back. And when I do, her expression is confused and wounded. Her eyes are downcast, her now moist, swollen lips open and round. She wants me to continue. I won’t. That’s the whole idea. The more I withhold, the more she’ll want me.
“Ellis?” Her gaze rises to my face. “Please, I want you to…”
“What do you want, Pauline?” I take a step forward, and am so close to her I see the hunger in her soft brown eyes.
“Kiss me. I want you to kiss me.” She presses even closer to me.
“You’re sure?” My frown deepens and I draw my eyes close together.
“Oh, yes, please.” She lets her breath out and shuts her eyes in anticipation.
By taking her face in my hands, I calm her movements and force her to look at me, dare her to lock eyes with me for more than a few seconds. With zeal in her eyes, she meets me halfway, and with a single, careful movement, I draw her face forward and almost bring her lips to mine, act as though I’m not going to kiss her. She groans and trembles in my hands. She’s had enough. I better kiss her now.
My lips whisk across hers, teasing, like lambent flames. Pauline slithers her hand into my waistband and tugs me into her. My groin tightens from the heat of her hand next to my skin.
Her mouth is hot and damp on my ear. She raises her voice to almost a shout. “Enough with the opening act, Ellis. I want it for real. Now, kiss me.”
Pauline’s plucky move has taken me off guard and sends me into panic. My throat’s dry, and all of a sudden, I’m the one who’s anxious and she’s giving the orders. From her voice, she seems to want more than a kiss from me. She wants me again.
We better get out of here soon, but I can’t resist. I give her a long, smooth kiss, and then lightly toss her onto the rumpled sleeping bag. I move my fingers through the rich, streamlined waves of her hair.
Her words are damp against my face. “You don’t have to be so...gentle. Ellis, I can take it.”
From the way her body’s responding to me, I know she can take more. But she’s so soft, and even though she’s given me the go ahead, I don’t want to hurt her, so I pause before moving my hands in a rougher manner over her body. Pauline’s so smooth I could touch her skin for hours.
I clinch her waist and stroke its outline up and down, down and up. Just when I don’t think it’s possible for me to get any more turned on, I’m about to end it on my own without satisfying her.
I quickly scoop her down with me on top of the sleeping bag.
Once she parts her legs, I’m in her before it’s already over for me. From the eyes half closed and lips parted in pleasure expression on Pauline’s face, she’s almost reached her highest place, too. She gasps in rapture as I plunge farther into her, and out, then in again. Her back arches up when my lips skim over her already hard nipples and harden them to the point where she’s pleased as they swell into stiff, rosy gems. She’s all raspberries and cream. Creamy skin. Raspberry lips.
She finishes right after I do. I embrace her and we roll over together. Her eyes rest on mine from above. Her smile isn’t coy. It’s the easy, confident smile of a woman who’s proud of herself and satisfied with what I’ve given her.
“You’ve opened me up on this trip,” she says.
I can’t resist. “No pun intended?”
Red tints Pauline’s cheekbones. She rolls her eyes as she grins at me pinned under her. There’s more hunger in her eyes, and my aspiration to fulfill her desires is stronger than the need to begin trekking for the day.
I wind my arms around her waist, over her back, and pull her into my chest. She turns and rests her head on me, tracing the tattoo on my shoulder and chest with her finger.
“If we keep this up, we won’t have energy left for today’s hike.” My watch has turned around sometime during our tryst. I twirl the wristband and check the time. “Speaking of which, we better move our asses if we want to make any real progress this morning. It’s after ten.”
Pauline sighs and shifts in my arms. “If only things were different.”
I loosen my grip on her. “What do you mean?” I brace myself for her reply. If only we’d met under different circumstances? If only we weren’t being chased by a madman? If only she felt the same way I feel about her?
Pauline turns into me and pins me down with her arms. “If only we could sleep in.” Her smile broadens, and her eyes draw me into her joy. Then her eyes sadden. She looks away and then her soft gaze falls on me again.
