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Cyrus

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by Mj Fields




  Men Of Steel

  Cyrus

  MJ Fields

  This book is intended for adult readers only.

  Published by

  MJ Fields

  Copyright 2013 MJ Fields

  This book is intended for adult readers only.

  Smashwords Edition, License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to author and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author

  Other Titles by MJ Fields

  ~The Love Series~

  Blue Love

  New Love

  Sad Love

  True Love

  ~The Wrapped Series~

  Wrapped in Silk

  Wrapped in Armor

  Wrapped Always and Forever

  ~Burning Souls~

  Stained

  Forged

  ~Men of Steel~

  Men of Steel Novella

  Jase

  Jase and Carly (Summer Lovin)

  To Connect with or contact MJ Fields

  https://www.facebook.com/pages/MJ-Fields-books/514446948612589

  www.mjfieldsbooks.com

  or Twitter @mjfieldsbooks

  ~Cyrus~

  Truth

  I know who I am. I’m Cyrus Steel, son, brother, uncle, friend to people I choose to bring into my life.

  Truth

  I could fuck up anyone I want.

  Truth

  I know the devastation I can and have caused.

  Truth

  I can’t change the past, but I have chosen how to live now.

  Truth

  I like to fuck, and I will do a chick better than she’s ever been done. Hard and wild. No more than three hook ups. No expectations, no one gets hurt. As long as she agrees …it’s on.

  One of my favorite tattoo’s bridges the V, and it says Truth.

  A constant reminder of who I was and who I am now.

  ~Tara~

  I wasn’t sure I knew how or even if I should tell him there was no one who loved me. Tony was the last person to say those words to me and he hadn’t meant it. He just wanted to use me.

  That’s what this beautiful man underneath me, showed me today. He hadn’t used me, he didn’t even know me. But he thought I was beautiful, and he was nice to me. Tony was wrong about him, and even though I never want to see him again, I wish I could tell him just how wrong he was.

  Can truth be altered? Can truth be seen when walls are built for protection, for self preservation? Will self doubt and years of pain cloud two hearts from finding their truth?

  THANK YOU

  To all of you who enjoy reading my stories: thank you. I love that you fall in love with these characters when reading about them, just as much as I fall when writing them.

  To Kari at K23 designs for the amazing cover and ability to understand my vision.

  To Ellie N. for not only reading and editing my very rough drafts but for taking the time to understand my vision for them and embracing it. Thank you for being not only my friend and cheerleader but for pushing me and my work harder than I could have began to imagine. You’re truly amazing.

  To Anisa, thank you.

  To Suzanne and Stephanie for not getting annoyed that childhood nicknames become penis’s and hot lover’s pet names. For both of you reading this and helping me fix the boo boo’s before final edit and because I <3 U!!!

  To all of you on Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads: thank you for reaching out to me… you inspire me, make me smile and laugh, and want to do better. I <3 U!

  To my new virtual friends the ones who reach out to me, discuss OUR book boyfriends, and ask me “WHY???!!!” and make me proud of my dirty little mind, and to those who offer help and show their support: You are more valuable and precious to me than I can explain in words. Because of you and my rocking support team at home, this all moves to the next level very soon. I want to acknowledge you all and will as soon as I step off of this cliff and dive into this full time, allowing myself the ability to do so.

  To those who take the time to review my books and share with their friends, thank you so much.

  To my girls at home, my family, my loves, thank you for believing, pushing, and calming me always.

  To my little girl….I Love You More!

  Table of Contents

  Twisted Steel

  Tony and I

  Smashing Panties

  All Better Now

  Cracked My Badass

  I Got To Choose

  Finding You

  Saint Johns

  Fester

  Found

  Touched

  Burning Up

  No Control

  In Knots

  Sit Your Ass Still

  Family Matters

  Loaded

  Birdies

  Gloves Off

  Driving Stick

  Uncaged

  Passing

  Time

  Goodbye’s Suck

  Taking Flight

  Moving On

  Home

  Forever Steel

  ~Twisted Steel~

  I never liked it when the tourist season slowed down on the shore. It meant less business at the shop and more free time on my hands. “Idol minds are the devils play yard”… that’s what Momma Joe always says. I suppose that’s why we started Forever Steel to begin with. Sure, it brought in more money than the restaurant did, especially this time of year. I buy that-- but with four boys I'm pretty damn sure it also had a hell of a lot more to do with our idol hands than our minds. Pretty sure the idea came about when she caught Zandor with our neighbor’s wife. Funny as shit watching her chase them both out of the garage with that broom.

  Zandor's pants were around his ankles as he ran out and Miss Betty’s tits were flying in the air. She still had her pants on, so I was confused... nah-- more like curious at first to what REALLY went on in our garage that night. That was until Jase and I overheard her going off about how wrong it was to have sex with a married woman. She was sputtering in half Italian and half English her hands flying everywhere. I remember it like yesterday.

  “Momma, I didn’t have sex with her. She was performing fellatio.”

  “Where do you learn words like that, Aleszandor?!”

  “In your books, Momma. It’s beautiful-- adoring one’s body, and your body being adored. Miss Betty was showing me the art work she had just gotten done, and ...”

  “ZANDOR STEEL! Miss Betty has the leprechaun from that cereal tattooed on her fake breasts! It’s not art! Now is there something on your penis that she needed to adore?”

  “Momma, not to brag but my penis IS a work of art….”

  Jase and I were rolling when she pushed through the door and grabbed our ears, mind you we were a bit old for that shit but when your Momma is Josephina Steel-- that don’t matter at all. She dragged us out to the table and sat us down for one of those ‘chats’. Xavier was due home anytime, he was actually late but we convinced her that he had said after nine, not nine.

  I rocked back in my chair and looked o
ut the window as Xavier was running through the back yard zipping up his pants saying goodbye to Miss Betty’s oldest daughter. I laughed out loud and Momma tossed me a nasty look. Jase saw him too and he was dying. No doubt he was high, back then then… Jase was a fucking wreck with losing Charlee and then Little Bell. Xavier winked when he came and Zandor gave him a high five.

  I knew right away that those fuckers planned it. He diverted the mom while Xavier finally tapped that ass next door. Betty’s daughter Sally, yeah Sally, was the neighborhood tease. You know the type, hot as fuck, but too good for anyone around here. Xavier sat down and Momma walked around the kitchen yelling, pleading…. she even cried. Well, fake tears but she gave it her all. Not quite Oscar worthy--maybe a daytime Emmy.

  Zandor gave him a look that asked how it went and Xavier winked. Momma’s back was turned when Xavier reached across and swiped his finger under Zandor’s nose. Fucking pig! Zandor gave him the attaboy look and Xavier continued the game of sexual charades telling us what had happened. He sucked his fingers and Zandor mouthed ‘Good?’ He shook his head yes and sat back. Zandor made a circle with one hand and pointed one finger and mimicked intercourse. Xavier mouthed ‘Tomorrow’. Jase smirked and made a gesture mimicking a blow job and he shook his head no. Jase whispered, ‘She gave me one.’

  Both Zandor and Xavier gasped and Momma turned around and continued her rant.

  By the end of it, they all placed bets on who would get it first and I threw my chips all on the table. I was going to have them both…at the same time.

  Momma was at the restaurant the next night helping Dad close up. I had one day left of leave before I deployed again so I took over a bottle of scotch, along with an apology to Miss Betty for my mother’s behavior. Sally came home and we did a few shots. One thing led to another and well let’s just say I won that fucking bet.

  Later that night I shared the information with my brothers. Sally wasn’t as pure as she would have you believe. Betty wasn’t either. Xavier was pissed at me, honest to God I didn’t see that coming, or I swear I wouldn’t have bothered. I had plenty of two on one action. I got my heart broke too, once, and never fucking again so that was it. Why the fuck would I want a relationship that I had to worry about feelings, and dates, and hearts, and flower shit so that I could make love to a chick? Fuck the pleasantries! New rule for me since then, three times that’s it. I don’t miss guide anyone-- they know the drill. I’ll fuck you hard and wild, probably ruin you for anyone else but that’s all you get. You wanna ride this train? You bring the condoms and it’s on, if not, get to step-in. Let’s be honest here-- sweaty, dirty talk, ball slapping that ass, sloppy wet blow jobs ending in my cum all fucking over your face fucking, was better than hearts and flower’s bullshit… any day.

  Momma really had a knack for overhearing conversations that she really shouldn’t. Me explaining that to Xavier was most definitely one of those she should never have heard. She couldn’t even look at me.

  “This, your father will handle,” she went into her room and shut the door.

  That conversation with my father is one I will never forget. He tried to be pissed, he really did but in the end he told me that his wife, my mother, shouldn’t have to hear that shit. That I was a man now, going back to the middle east for my second tour and he couldn’t tell me not to act like that but he forbid me to let her hear it ever again. He was no different until he met her, his forever and when I found that-- I would understand.

  I agreed to always be on the lookout for Momma Joe before running my mouth but that forever shit would be for family. I never wanted that type of forever, I just wanna fuck.

  While in the Mediterranean, my parents sold the house. Lawyers fee’s were killing them but family is family and for one more attempt to get some sort of visitation with Bella I would have done it too.

  Two years later and I was home on leave getting ready to sign my life away for four more years when Sandy devastated our family and the community we lived in. I will never forgive myself for needing to play fucking hero again: if Dad hadn’t come after me he wouldn’t have died. I didn’t re-up, our family restaurant was a fucking wreck, and I needed to get shit fixed. I wouldn’t leave them, not after taking everything from them.

  The week after Sandy was its own hurricane. Jase was in his own world, that boy was focused on fixing shit, helping the owners of the store fronts surrounding ours when he wasn’t tearing shit out of ours with us. The insurance company was not at all quick about it and FEMA, well let’s just say that shit was a joke too. Without Chris Christie our governor, we’d have been fucked for even longer. He was a fucking rock, damn good man. The physical wreckage that storm caused was insurmountable. The emotional damage was life changing.

  I had a collection of ink on my left arm, from my shoulder to just above my elbow, all black, all a reminder of the place I had fought for our country. Momma had a fit when she saw it, and I explained that each meant something to me. Memories that I carried in my heart… and although I wasn’t one to share all my photos or stories of the places I’d been, I would share a glimpse of this. The ink embedded on my arm was my story, for me, a visual reminder of what life was and what life is. I wouldn’t tell anyone what hell, devastation, or pain I had seen or caused. But I could let them see this. It may make me seem like a pussy, but it’s my coat of arms. Like it or not-- I don’t give a fuck, it’s mine, part of me always.

  I stood on the shore looking out into the water. I used to love this place. No other body of water smelled the same. The Atlantic had a briny smell, sea plants, salt, and maybe a bit of iodine. Doesn’t sound all that intoxicating but it was, it’s familiar scent was home. It was fourth of July fireworks and ocean side bon fires, it was friends surfing and hanging out, it was Lucky Leo’s and Gillian’s Wonderworld pier, it was family picnics, beach volleyball games, parasailing with my Dad and brothers. It was home. Having traveled the world I can honestly say, there was no place like it. But the shit hurt now.

  I don’t know how long I stood there but when Jase elbowed me, I was brought back to reality, “You alright?”

  “I’m fine man,” I looked over at him and laughed, “Leave it to you to get married out here.”

  “Yeah, I know. Good memories from here on out. Which is why I interrupted. Do me a favor?”

  “Anything man-- you know that,” and he did, just like I knew he would always have my back..

  “Get everyone out of here, I wanna fuck my wife on a surf board in the water, without an audience.”

  I had to laugh, “Your wife.”

  “Mrs. Jase Steel man, and Mrs. Steel and I need to go christen that board. I’ve been wanting to bang her on it forever now.”

  “On your wedding night.”

  “Hell yes, shit… when you get married I’ll fuck her on it then too.”

  “Not gonna happen…”

  “I know three ride max and all that shit but right now, I need to get inside my wife. Help a brother out?”

  “Your fucking whipped, you know,” I wasn’t joking: Jase was like a little crack whore with Carly.

  “Don’t care, get them out.”

  I loved pissing him off and well… it was a gift so why stop right, “Fireworks come out of that little pussy.” His face was getting red, why stop now, “You sure you don’t want me…”

  Jase pushed me and I laughed, “Are you gonna do as I asked or do I need to beat your ass down?”

  “You and I know better bro,” but right now, he was on edge and I really wasn’t a hundred percent sure of myself. “Of course, go get Mrs. Steel.”

  ~

  Everyone was leaving and Carly was taking her time thanking everyone. She was pretty cool—for a girl. She loved my brother, no doubt and now…well I had a sister, which wasn’t cool because now there was one more female to add to the list, right behind Momma Joe and Little Bell that I needed to check myself for. Why? Because I made a promise to my father, I wasn’t about to break it.

  Ab
e and I headed down to the club to have a few drinks. I toyed with the idea of throwing a party at the beach house but Nickey D. was entertaining this month’s piece of ass and I wouldn’t want to ruin it for him. Miss September was smokin’ hot. Nickey’s deal was different than mine. It was a longer train ride, not a three stop bullet but a month long love fest. He liked being with the same chick for a little longer than I did… something about anal he told me one drunken night. Took longer to build the trust of his partner so that he could fill her front and back. I didn’t need to hear that shit: Nickey was my boy and all, but sometimes I wondered about him. So right now I was hanging at a bar while my boy Nickey was fucking Miss September. She was sitting in the place of honor (between my legs), two nights ago when Carly and Jase showed up with that five foot nothing little dark haired, green-eyed Birdie.

  I sat back and took a drink of my Jack and ginger. I was taking a cab tonight so why the fuck not tie one on? Tip back a few in honor of my fallen comrade, who was now fucking his wife in the damn Atlantic. Wonder if Abe knows that’s what’s going on.

  “How are you doing with all this marriage shit?” I asked him just as he was watching two girls grind on each other on the dance floor.

  “It’s great. Marriage is a great institution ...”

  “If you wanna be institutionalized.”

  “Your parents were married for years Cyrus, I don’t get why you’re so against it.”

  I had to laugh, “Look around man. Can you imagine eating fucking cheerios everyday when you could have a little steak and eggs one day, sausage gravy the next? Gotta keep those options open.”

  “How do you think Jase will do with Cheerios everyday?” Abe was getting pissed, he loved Carly and I’m sure he was worried about her marrying my brother.

  “He made a commitment, he’ll stick with it,” and he would-- I was damn sure of it.

  “So you think he’s settling? You think there’s someone better out there for Jase than Carly?” Okay so he was beyond pissed, that vein in his neck was bulging a bit.

 

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