Cyrus

by Mj Fields

  I looked up and smiled, “Yes?”

  “Everything is going to be fine.”

  Oh please don’t cry, please don’t cry, I was gonna cry.

  I closed my eyes tight and Carly was hugging me.

  ~

  I was pretty sure I cried for at least an hour before I fell asleep for another two hours, when I woke up Carly was gone and another woman was sitting on the couch at my feet.

  “You feeling better?”

  I had no idea who she was but I was sure Carly wouldn’t leave me with someone who couldn’t be trusted but…, “Where is Cyrus?”

  She smiled at me, “My son had some things to do. Tara I’m Joe Steel, and I’m going to stay with you for a while.”

  “Please don’t feel like you have to babysit me.”

  She laughed, “I don’t feel that way, however my son seems to feel you should have someone here because you’re not feeling well.”

  “I really am better, you can…”

  “Nope, I’m going to cook for you and you are going to sleep. If you are not feeling better we head to the doctor in the morning.”

  “Okay, but I’m not hungry so please don’t feel like you need to…”

  “Nonsense, at least some soup.”

  She stood and covered me up, then reached down and felt my head and walked away. She had his eyes, light brown with flecks of gold. She also had a way of making me feel comfortable, which oddly made me uncomfortable.

  I felt horrible laying around having everyone cater to me. I didn’t like it at all. They were all kind, but when they got tired of taking care of me…One blanket, two pillows, three people who were being burdened by me, four photos framed on the wall five…oh this is no good. I stood up and walked to the window. It was dark now--- I’d slept all day. I needed another way to calm myself.

  “You want something to drink?” I turned and she was standing in the doorway.

  “No…please don’t feel like you have to take care of me. I can honestly sleep this all off and tomorrow I’m going to…. Tomorrow. Five days ago,” five I hated five, “I honestly can take care of myself, please I’m sure you have….”

  “Have a seat, Tara,” I did as she asked.

  “Believe it or not this is a break for me as well. You’re doing me a favor letting me stay here with you in your home…”

  “But it’s not my home…”

  “Well yes it is. Tara, I know you don’t know me but if my boys and my new daughter like you, you’re part of this family. Now if you decide you need a break from us please let us know. We can be a bit overprotective of those we let in. Now I have to go finish the soup and you need to rest because tomorrow we help find you a doctor if you’re sick and a job if you’re well.”

  I couldn’t sleep, not now. I got up and walked into the kitchen, “May I help you?”

  She smiled and shook her head yes, “Wash your hands first, please.”

  “It smells so good,” I said as I washed my hands.

  “Then you are on the mend. Cyrus says you eat like a bird,” she smiled as she needed the dough.

  “He …I don’t understand how I,” I stopped talking, “Your son looks like you. He is also very kind like you.”

  “Cyrus is kind?” Joe chuckled and I looked at her waiting for her to continue, “My boys are boys. All are wonderful, thank you.”

  “Well you must have done a wonderful job raising them.”

  She laughed, “They raised me as well. I was just about to turn nineteen when Cyrus, my first son was born. And thank you Tara, there is no better compliment to a mother than you just gave me.”

  I smiled and watched her cut the dough in strips. “You want to help form?” I looked at her curiously and she smiled, “Like this.”

  Joe showed me how to make her garlic knots, “There’s a lot.”

  “Ahh yes, I have four sons who all eat like horses. Hard to cook smaller amounts but this will be good, we can freeze some and you can heat them up when you’re hungry, Tara.”

  “You don’t…”

  “Shush…I want to. I love to cook, Tara. Life sometimes gets too busy. Speaking of, Tara what is your dream job?”

  “Ummm, I don’t really know. But I can work. I don’t know if…”

  “Have you had a job before, I mean besides…dancing?”

  I felt my face turn red. I hated that she knew, I don’t know why but… “That was not something I ever aspired to become. It was just…that’s not who I am. I really don’t know who I’m supposed to be. I have always…”

  “Tara, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. We do what we need to do.”

  I swallowed hard and I needed a minute, “Would you excuse me please?”

  I walked quickly into a bathroom and closed the door. I was in there for a while when I heard her talking, I heard her say his name. Immediately feeling like I would be alright, I opened the door when I realized he wasn’t here. She was on the phone.

  “Cyrus she’s in the bathroom…I think she’s a little upset…no Cyrus! You made choices with this girl and now you need to step back…I’m your mother you will listen to me…You will do what it is you said you would. See that she is safe and step away-- it’s what’s right for her…Friends? Cyrus Steel you’re not a stupid man…No those feelings are not friends…No, you do as you’re told…give her what?...Fine…no, I’ll do as you ask but you now stand by what you say it is you want her. Goodnight, Cyrus.”

  I waited a few minutes and was about to walk out when I heard another voice.

  “Bell asleep?”

  “Yep and I’m here for a sleepover. Did Cyrus call?”

  “Yes, he’s a stubborn, stubborn man.”

  Carly laughed, “So is Jase, he’ll get there.”

  “You’ve tamed Jase.”

  “I wouldn’t say he’s tame.”

  I heard Carly laugh and then Joe did, “Men are funny creatures.”

  I walked out and they both stopped and looked at me. I cleared my throat and forced myself to smile, “I’m tired.”

  Joe and Carly both immediately walked up to me and reached to feel my head and they laughed which somehow eased my worry.

  “You’ll eat first, Tara,” Joe laughed as she walked away.

  “You better listen to her, or you’ll be in trouble,” Carly smiled and I followed her into the kitchen.

  We sat at the table and Carly’s phone rang, “Hello….yes…yes…fine. Tara it’s for you.”

  Joe scowled at the table as I took the phone.

  “Hello,” as soon as I heard him I wanted to cry and when for the second time he said my name .

  “You there, Birdie?”

  “Uh huh,” I managed.

  “Cool, you feeling better?”

  “I guess,” I answered quietly.

  “You need anything, medicine…”

  “No, I want to just go, just leave. I’m an adult.”

  “You’re a human being, you’ve been through some shit Birdie…”

  “We were supposed to talk about what’s next and you left. I can’t. No…. I won’t be someone’s problem anymore. I’m leaving I’m…”

  “The fuck you are!”

  “Thank you for everything…”

  “You sit you’re little ass still Birdie! I’m working on some shit here. Your fucking video is down, your fucking piece of shit ex is next. I’m doing shit I said I would-- now you sit your ass still damn it!”

  Sit Your Ass Still

  She didn’t say shit, but she didn’t hang up either, “You still there, Birdie?”

  “My name is Tara Gardner I’ll be twenty one years old in a couple days. I’m an adult…”

  “One more time Birdie, sit your ass still, or I’ll hunt you down and lock your ass up so fucking tight…”

  “You don’t own me!?” There was a question in that statement and it fucking burned my ears.

  “No Birdie…”

  “Tara!”

  Holy shit little Birdie was pisse
d, really fucking pissed and you know the drill the shit made me chub up. “Tara, fine, Tara sit your ass still.”

  She didn’t say a word not one word.

  “You can’t leave.”

  “When then?” I swear I heard her sniffle.

  “Don’t cry Birdie.” Again she said nothing, “Where are you?”

  She swallowed loudly, I assume to hold back tears, “Bathroom.”

  “Downstairs?”

  “Yes.”

  Oh damn it Birdie, “How many windows in there?”

  “One.”

  “You had a tour yet?”

  “No,” her voice squeaked and I was gonna do this shit.

  “There is one kitchen Birdie and I should have showed you the townhouse before I left but you were asleep so I didn’t wake you. So again there is one kitchen. How many bathrooms?”

  “Two.”

  “Nope three but there’s two spare bedrooms.”

  I heard her breath out a sigh.

  “Work with me here Birdie, one kitchen, three…”

  “You have to go in order,” she sniffed loudly.

  What the fuck was I doing? “Okay one kitchen, two guest bedrooms, three bathrooms, four…”

  “Four doors in the master bedroom.”

  “Great Birdie now help me out what’s five?”

  “I hate five,” she whispered.

  “Okay, well there are five people that care an awful lot about you that I know, okay? So five’s not too bad, Birdie.”

  “Who…”

  “Nope let’s go here--- six…give me six.”

  “Six…I don’t know Cyrus, I just don’t know.”

  “Do better, six what, look around,” she didn’t say anything, “Okay in the upstairs hall there are six doors. So seven…” I heard a drawer open.

  “Seven washcloths.”

  “Good and eight?”

  “Eight…different scented soaps, that’s a lot of soap…”

  “You can’t stop Birdie,” she sounded better, thank God.

  “Nine…there are nine rooms in YOUR new place,” I stressed your maybe she wouldn’t try to leave, “And ten Birdie, do you remember what ten is?”

  “Bites of eggs,” I could hear her a smile in her voice.

  “That’s right, I fed you ten bites of an omelet today.”

  “Breakfast in bed,” she said in the same happier tone, “That’s the first time, I think anyway.”

  “I bet there were times before, I bet your Momma gave your breakfast in bed.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  We sat in silence for a few minutes, “You good now?”

  “Yes but…”

  “No buts Birdie, just chill, get better and remember your home,” oh man… I was a fucking bitch now, “Which means if Carly and my Momma are bugging you, you can throw their asses out.”

  “I wouldn’t dare,” she giggled.

  “Yeah, me either,” I laughed.

  “Thank you.”

  “See you soon?”

  “When?”

  “Not sure, you have plans tomorrow. Maybe the next day.”

  “Okay,” she whispered.

  “Listen to me okay? When you get all worked up like that remember, one kitchen, two guest rooms, three bathrooms, four doors in your room, five people who are your friends, six…”

  “Who?”

  “Oh Birdie you interrupted and I had it all worked out, too.” She laughed and it made me smile, “Six doors in the upstairs hall, seven towels…”

  “Washcloths, eight different smelling soaps…”

  “Quiet down I got this, nine, rooms in your new house and ten what Birdie?”

  “Breakfast in bed egg bites.”

  “That’s it. Hey--- your bag’s in the den and so is mine. I gotta come back to grab it soon, my-- lucky comb is in there. Now go out there and do some girl shit.”

  “Goodnight Cyrus.”

  Good her voice, fuck! “Sweet dreams, Birdie.”

  ~

  I looked around the room and everything was boxed up. I needed to be real careful with how I went about all this with her. Fuck this was crazy shit.

  “You need a tissue?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Well I thought you looked like you could use a hug but then I saw you getting all lost in your thoughts so it was either a tissue or a fucking pad for your vagina. What the fuck happened to you? You’re a bitch now.”

  “Fuck you Zandor-- grab that box and let’s roll. I got shit to do.”

  “Like what? Go to the salon, get a manicure, go buy something pink and lacy to cover your pussy?”

  “Keep your shit up and you’ll be walking back to Jersey,” I grabbed the last box we left.

  ~

  After Zandor fucked with me for a while longer he fell asleep, thank God or I was gonna kill him.

  It had been one hell of a day. After picking Zandor up from the airport we headed over to Carly’s old apartment and grabbed her shit. Zandor had to be contained a bit. My brother in a tiny apartment with a bunch of strippers was interesting. He really did hold his shit together more than he normally would have but he eye fucked the one girl so hard, I thought she was about to cum in her panties. But we got in and out with hopefully everything she had there.

  I found out who owned her old place and got permission to get her stuff. Sweet old lady and I couldn’t wait to share that fucking news with her. Yeah Birdie, five people at least who give a shit.

  Now we were heading back to that fucking club so I could meet with Tony and his fucking bitch ass boss. I was gonna have fun with his ass. Fuck him and fuck anyone else who ever looked at a girl like Birdie and used them like he had her. I was gonna kill the mother fucker if he didn’t just do as he was told and then—well she would be better off with him dead and me behind bars. At least that way I couldn’t fucking hurt her. I laugh because as much as I know she digs me I know she would dig anyone who had given her the time of day. Given her a little bit of human compassion.

  ~

  We walked in Sorority Sisters and Zandor laughed, “This place is the nicest in the area and it’s shit. When your dick grows back you need to come to Italy.”

  “Anytime you want to compare dick sizes bro, let me know. Now let’s get shit done.”

  It didn’t take much to convince that little fuck to sell the rights, apparently he owed some people and I shit you not-- that fucker acted like he wanted to be my friend. The rat bastard probably would’ve sucked my dick if I would let him. He was a pathetic excuse for a human being.

  Zandor and I sat at the bar waiting for Larry to look over the paperwork with his lawyer. He had changed, and it was cool. He saw me looking at him and pried his eyes off of the red head dancing near him.

  “Check this shit out,” he held up a twenty and she smirked and walked up to him and started dancing.

  Zandor showed no emotion when she ran her fingers up his arm. When she tried to touch his face he pulled back and shook his head No. She immediately looked nervous. His eyes cast down and she looked anxiously around. He raised his eyebrow and again looked down.

  I about died watching her reaction to him. She undid his pants and looked up at him, he shook his head no and she looked down and was about to pull his dick out and he told her no. And then Zandor fucking dismissed her. She looked confused, he handed her a fifty and motioned for her to leave.

  When she was out of sight he looked at me and laughed, “Sweet huh?”

  “Yeah it’s cool, Zandor.”

  “You need to come hang out, learn some shit. Unless of course your dick really is fucking shrinking.”

  ~

  I’m not sure what the hell happened but somehow we ended up with the rights to it all. Everyone was paid off, that shit would never be seen again and before I walked out of the club—drunk, I broke that fucker’s nose and told him if I saw him again I would kill him. The little bitch cried like a baby and promised he would leave.

  Jase picked us
up and told me there was no way in hell we were going back to his place and I told him no way in hell was I going to my place without telling Birdie she was safe now. She was fucking safe.

  Jase didn’t object which was really cool, cause his ass always argued about shit like this.

  Jase unlocked the door and we walked in, “I want that key.”

  He looked at me funny, “Excuse me?”

  “He’s telling you-- you can’t come in and play without permission Jase. He wants you to stay away from the girl who has his balls and he…”

  “Fuck you Z. I just don’t want her to feel like this isn’t her place, ‘cause it is.”

  “You’re afraid she’ll run away from home again and he won’t…”

  “Zandor you better shut the fuck up…”

  Jase and Zandor laughed and I was pissed.

  “After I tell her, your asses can take me home. It’s not like that-- so shut the fuck up.”

  Family Matters

  After I got off the phone with Cyrus I felt better. I knew he was trying to help but I wasn’t used to all of this. It made me feel like I now owed them, and I had nothing, nothing of my own, not even underwear.

  “So Carly,” Joe Steel sat on the couch next to me, “How is it-- living with Jase? I mean, I know I live there but is it what you expected?” Carly’s face turned red and Joe laughed, “Those four boys were so much fun when they were growing up.”

  I watched as Joe poured a glass of wine. She handed one to Carly and looked at me, “You feeling any better?” She reached and felt my head.

  “Yes, thank you.”

  “I would offer you a glass as well, but you’re sick,” she rubbed my head and sat back and took a drink. “So my boys, shall I tell you some stories?”

  Carly and I both nodded yes.

  “You have to promise not to repeat a word,” Carly leaned in towards her and I did the same.

  “My husband and I met and were married in less than a week….” I must have gasped because she looked at me and smiled, “When you know, you know.”

  “Sorry-- I didn’t mean to…”

  “No, trust me it was shocking to my family, as well. My parents disowned me and I left with my very tall, extremely handsome soldier from my home in Italy. I never regretted my decision to marry Jonathon Steel. I was pregnant immediately with Cyrus. He was the most beautiful baby I’d ever seen in my life. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to give him the care he deserved and Jonathon, oh my-- Jonathon was amazing. He cared for both of us: he read the same books I had read, and when I was struggling he was so strong. I remember as a child our whole family came together when anyone in the family had a child. Each woman helped the new mother, and I was sure because I didn’t have that Cyrus would suffer. But I can tell you Jonathon was more than I needed. Cyrus was such a content baby, no crying unless he needed to be fed or changed. After three and a half months, Jonathon was deployed. I wasn’t afraid anymore. Not until five months later I found out I was two months pregnant. Jovanni or Jase was born a week after Jonathon returned from sea. It was crazy and wonderful. It seemed that every time he left I was pregnant but it was alright. He always ended up home when I was delivering.”