Cyrus

by Mj Fields

  Instead I hold her ass firmly against me and push into her, “Birdie I’m not used to wanting something so bad. But I need you more, I need you to be my friend after all this shit is done. You need to tell me to stop if this isn’t okay cause right now, nothing feels more okay.”

  I grazed her cheek with my teeth and she whimpered as I sucked on her throat. She raised her head, her eyes still closed and I sucked on her neck like I wanted to suck her clit. I ran my tongue up it, tasting her skin like I wanted to taste her hot little pussy. I felt her hips start to move against me, “Awe fuck Birdie that feels good.”

  “Yes,” she whimpers and I can’t take anymore.

  My hands run down and I feel her tight little nipples peaked and hard. I’m completely naked and she’s in her night clothes and that’s the way it has to stay.

  I flip her on her back and my mouth finds her neck again and I can’t stop myself from sucking --licking her. I move to her hot waiting mouth and pull her closer to me. Her leg rests over my hip and my cock is throbbing as I push against her. She moans and I take the opportunity to slide my tongue inside it. I brush my tongue up and down hers and then stroke her lips and take them between my teeth. I want to eat her, so I chew slowly softly, resisting the urge to bite down on them. I suck and lick and kiss her hoping this will be enough to get little Birdie out of my system. But it’s not.

  I move back to her neck giving her time to breathe and then I move to her collar bone. My mouth touches every inch of it and I have to force myself not to pull her shirt off and take her tits in my mouth.

  Need to slow down. My head races as I rub her ass, squeezing it tight and she pushes into me. I’m burning up, every part of me is on fire and I’m fighting—fighting so fucking hard not to tear off her clothes.

  I can’t think, I can’t slow down, “I want you Birdie-- more than I ever wanted anything in my fucking life.”

  I suck harder on her lips, her neck, her face. She’s pulling at my hair, grinding against me telling me the same things not just in action but in words and it’s crazy, magnificent and I swear I’m in love with this girl.

  ~

  I woke on fire in an empty bed, naked and shaking like a leaf. I looked at the clock and it was four in the morning. There was a towel next to me and a washcloth over my head. I grabbed it and wiped my face. The covers dropped and I swear fire turned to ice. I needed clothes. I started to get up.

  “Hey lay back down,” Birdie was walking into the room with a sweatshirt and sweatpants. “You’re sick, my fault I assume. Lift your arms.”

  “I can do that,” my teeth chattered, and she shook her head no.

  I wasn’t fighting, I didn’t have it in me so she knelt beside me and pulled the shirt over my head and it felt so damn warm, “Nice huh?”

  “Yeah, thanks Birdie.”

  “I washed it, that’s the one I took from you that first night so now you get it back,” she smiled sadly, “Okay now lay back.”

  I did as she asked and she lifted the comforter up off my feet and pulled socks on them. And then grabbed the sweatpants next to me, “I think I can…”

  “Nope, lay down and just push your feet in and lift your bottom when I get them up.”

  She called my ass a bottom and it made me laugh and she looked up at me and smiled, “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  She pulled them up and I lifted my bottom, I swear I felt like I was shoving my dick in her face and I swear she did her best to try and ignore it.

  She handed me a couple Motrin and a glass of water, “Take these and go to sleep.”

  I was still cold, “The heat on?”

  “Yes, it’ll feel better in about twenty minutes. I promise. Try to get some sleep.”

  She sat up and reached over me and grabbed the washcloth and wiped my head causing me to shiver, “Shit’s cold Birdie.”

  “Sorry.”

  I took the cloth and tossed it on the nightstand and pulled her on top of me, “That’s better.” She let out a deep breath, “This okay?”

  “Of course,” her little paws rubbed my cheeks, “Sorry I got you sick Cyrus.”

  “I’m sure it wasn’t intentional.”

  ~

  I woke again and rolled over and felt for her keeping my eyes closed. My head hurt and I could tell it was light out. I rubbed her back and damn she had a lot of clothes on. “You sick again Birdie?”

  “No tiger, but if you keep rubbing me like that I’m gonna expect a blow job.”

  I pulled my hand back, “Zandor--- what the hell are you doing in bed with me?”

  “Well the little Bird flew away with Carly a few hours ago and made me promise to not leave your side. She wanted to make sure you had someone to look after you.”

  I opened my eyes, “Where the hell did they go?”

  “Apparently to a few places to put in resumes.”

  “I said I would help her out.”

  “You also said you weren’t fucking her again and that you weren’t interested in a relationship.”

  I looked at him and scowled, “I was fucked up last night and I told her …fuck I told her we weren’t doing that.”

  “So you didn’t fuck her?”

  “No—I don’t think so. Shit Z, I don’t remember.”

  “Well the way her neck looked this morning I am pretty sure…”

  “What’re you talking about Z?”

  “Well let’s put it this way, it’s fucking September and she’s sporting a scarf, which Carly says is fine because it’s very in style and it matched her eyes and the very short skirt she was wearing when she left.”

  “I gave her fucking hickeys!?”

  “Cyrus, you gave her the whole damn necklace.”

  Zandor was laughing and I was feeling like shit.

  “I’m gonna sleep after you tell me what’s up with Charlotte.”

  “She’s in the hospital. Not looking good, Jase and Momma Joe are there. Carly picked your girlfriend up…”

  “She’s my friend,” I corrected him.

  “Whatever, anyway Carly picked up Birdie after she dropped Bell off at school. I’m supposed to give you these pills and you’re supposed to shut the fuck up and go to sleep.”

  I didn’t fight, I didn’t have it in me. But I also wondered about last night, too many missing pieces. I remember kissing, lots of kissing and grinding. I seriously wondered if I had rug or pant burn on my cock but right now, I was fucking tired, I didn’t have the energy to check.

  ~

  I woke up to piss. I was sweating like crazy. I took the quickest, hottest shower I had ever taken in my life. And no I wasn’t rubbed raw --yeah I checked.

  This shit sucked. I was never sick, well not since I was a teenager and got mono. I dried off and wrapped a towel around me and went out and tried to find my bag. I threw on the sweat pants and ran down the stairs. To my surprise, Momma, Bell, Zandor and Tara were all sitting in the living room.

  “Uncle Cyrus do you feel better?” Bell smiled her big goofy toothless smile and I laughed.

  “When are you gonna grow some teeth Bell?”

  She laughed, “When are you gonna learn to cover up?”

  She ran towards me and hugged me tight, well as tight as an almost ten year old little thing could. I hugged her quick and then told her, “I think you should stay away, I’ve got the bug. I don’t want you catching it.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Momma said, “Come here Bell.”

  “Just one thing,” I knew what she wanted so I bent down and she found her bell in the mix of ink that represented each one of the people I love. She touched my arm, “Still there.”

  “Never goes away,” I winked and she laughed.

  I looked up at Tara and she smiled and looked down.

  “Alright, let me put them to bed,” I looked up and have no idea why but I looked at Tara for a few seconds too long because she blushed, “Gotta find a shirt.”

  Tara stood up, “I washed the clothes in your bag
. You sit, I’ll get them for you.” And she disappeared down the hall.

  “You sit in the kitchen, I have soup.”

  “Thanks Momma.”

  We were all in the kitchen when she brought out my once white long sleeved tee shirt, “Um, I don’t know how this happened…”

  Bell laughed her little ass silly at the pink shirt Tara held in her hands and Tara’s green eyes widened.

  “Was there anything red in the mix Tara?” Momma started to laugh.

  “Well I didn’t think so but…”

  “Real men wear pink, don’t they Bell,” Zandor laughed.

  “Not any that I know.”

  Tara’s little lips moved, I knew she was embarrassed and probably gonna start counting.

  “Well now you do, let me see that shirt Tara.”

  She handed it to me and I winked and put it on, “I bet I make pink look good, don’t I, Bell?”

  She laughed at me and so did Tara. She excused herself and I was sure she was gonna lose it.

  I sat and ate a bowl of soup and Bell filled me in on her Grandmother being in the hospital and the fact that she was gonna stay the night with Zandor either here or my place cause Momma Joe was going back to the hospital.

  I made up the lame ‘I need to use the bathroom’ excuse after she had said everything she needed to. I went upstairs and opened the bedroom door and Tara jumped and quickly held her hands over something.

  “You okay?”

  She nodded quickly and shook her head as she rolled her eyes.

  “You hiding something?”

  She let out an exasperated breath and I sat on the end of the bed.

  “I found something else that helps when I get…”

  “Anxious?”

  She nodded and laughed, “I know they’re good people, it’s just weird.”

  “They’re alright,” I smiled at her and the way she looked at me demanded further explanation, “I know you had it different Tara. I know I’m grateful for them, love them, even when I want to strangle them. They get involved in every aspect of your life, sometimes you just want to breathe.”

  “And sometimes there isn’t enough oxygen in the world.”

  I didn’t know how to take that so I just stared at her. I was beginning to feel cold again.

  She looked down and took a deep breath, “Sorting.” She smiled when she saw the confusion on my face and lifted her hand, “By color.”

  “Razzles,” I smirked.

  “One red, two green…”

  “Good,” I reached down to grab and she covered them up.

  “No way,” she smiled.

  “Just one,” at first I meant Razzles and then God I wanted her, a- fucking- gain! She closed her eyes.

  “You make me feel so…Cyrus,” I leaned over and took her hand.

  “Tell me what happened last night. Birdie show me your neck,” I reached up and pulled the scarf away. I saw the marks, “Please tell me I didn’t hurt you.”

  I looked up and she had a scowl on her face, “You don’t remember,” she whispered.

  “Birdie I remember some stuff, but…”

  “We kissed a lot.”

  “No boundaries crossed?”

  “No Cyrus, nothing –we’re friends.”

  She started sorting and I could think of nothing else but helping her so I did.

  When we had everything sorted she smiled, “I got a job today.”

  “Really,” okay back it down, that’s what you wanted Cyrus, Fuck!

  “At a gym. I guess it’s near where Carly works, she’s a member there. It’s nice.”

  I watched her talk, watched her lips, God I loved those lips.

  “You’re cold.”

  I looked at her eyes and then at my arms. I had goose bumps, chills.

  “Cyrus,” Momma Joe barged in and she looked upset.

  “Everything okay?”

  “No, it’s Charlotte,” tears welled in her eyes and I got up and hugged her.

  “She gone?”

  “Not yet, but I need to go. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? I don’t want to leave you. You get, well, out of it when you’re sick.”

  “I was fifteen, Mom.”

  “You hallucinated.”

  I smiled, “Yeah that was crazy. But I’ll be fine, go.”

  I walked down with her and Zandor was at the door, “I can drive myself.”

  “Yeah you can Momma, but so can I.”

  “Bell?” she was a lot like me when it came to taking care of herself.

  “I got it Mom,” I hugged her.

  “You’re sick.”

  “I can hang out with her,” Tara was behind us holding Bell’s hand.

  “Is Grandma Charlotte finally gonna go to heaven?”

  “Oh Bell, we don’t know anything yet.”

  “She’ll see my Momma,” Bell smiled, “She’ll be all better there.”

  I glanced at Tara who was looking down at Bell in awe. Love pouring from those green eyes. Ripped at my heart. Bell and her.

  “Mom, we got this,” and she nodded and they left.

  “Uncle Cyrus, you should be in bed. Tara do you like movies?”

  “Hey, I like movies. I love movies,” I smiled at Bell and grabbed her up.

  “You better not give me your germs, pal.” She laughed as I tickled her.

  “Fine,” I set her down, “I’ll take the recliner, you two take the couch.”

  The Lorax? So yeah I liked movies, but this shit. I smiled and sat my ass down. Bell and Tara got drinks and I heard something popping. Microwave popcorn, so not cool. I have no clue where my disdain came from for microwave food but I guess I would have to reel it in tonight.

  They pulled the couch apart and made a fort. Tara was so gentle and calm with her.

  “It’s not fair,” I grumbled and Bell poked her head out.

  “What’s not fair?”

  “You two are having all sorts of fun and I’m banished to the recliner.”

  Tara scooted out and went to use the bathroom.

  “Is she gonna die?”

  I was not sure how to answer that, “Little Bell, I don’t really know.”

  “Sometimes she doesn’t remember me,” damn what the hell do you say to that?

  “She remembers you Bell, you’re pretty unforgettable. I pushed the foot rest down and leaned forward, “What you said to Momma Joe out there, that she’ll see your Momma, she’ll see Charlie. I think that’s how you should always think. You know that will make three angels in heaven watching over you, that’s pretty cool, you know.”

  “Four, Grandpa Jonathon too.” She held up four and it made me smile.

  I was including him, not the fuck of a father Charlie had. Lee had kept Bella from Jase, caused my family to go through hell, so heaven? Well I’m not his judge.

  “Four is a great number, perfect actually.”

  “Does it hurt to die? I mean when she goes to the hospital, she always seems like she leaves in pain. I don’t want her to hurt.”

  I shook my head no and looked up to see Tara looking sadly at Bell, “You lost your Mom?”

  “Yep, she died right after she had me. I don’t remember her.”

  Tara sat down, “My parents died when I was five, I don’t remember them either. But I know sometimes I think I remember them sounding like they were in pain. But I think it’s a different pain than we think it is. Like it just hurts really bad because they’re leaving us. They need us to be strong for them. So they can go to…to heaven.” Tara squeezed her hand, “But your uncle has nasty germs that hurt him so lets you and I get him a drink and some medicine. Then when he falls asleep, we watch this movie again?”

  They left the room and I closed my eyes. I was feeling chilled again and I was real happy Tara was here to deal with that because I know what death sounds like. I got nothing good to say about it. No PG version of the shit I’ve seen.

  Birdies

  She looked like she was trying to be so strong. But I i
magine she wasn’t. I’d seen lots of kids who had lost their parents and it was never alright. I’d seen lots of adults lose theirs and it was equally as hard on them: death wasn’t alright. It took a part of us, a part we treasure, a part we love.

  She pulled out a coloring book and crayons and she climbed back into the couch cushion fort and opened her book, it was fairies, a whole book full of them.

  “Wanna color?”

  “I would love to,” I watched as she turned through the pages of already colored pictures trying to find the right one.

  “I make my uncles color with me, Cyrus did this one,” she pointed to a green fairy, “He tells me they’re birds, not fairies and I told him they were angels. What do you think they are?”

  I smiled and peeked over at him covering his face and shaking his head from side to side, “I’m sure it says fairies on the front of the book, and honestly they kind of look like angels more than birds.”

  She smiled and stuck her tongue out at him and he did it back to her.

  “You should color yours to look like your mom. That’s what I do usually. Do you still miss her?”

  “Of course, her and my Dad. It’s just really hard to remember them after fifteen years.”

  “You should look at pictures,” she smiled, “That’s what I do. Then I imagine visiting her. Jumping on clouds, riding on her back. I know it sounds childish, but it helps.”

  It was kind of cute that she said it sounds childish when in fact she was a child, “I will do the imagining thing, I just don’t have pictures.”

  She looked over at Cyrus and then back at me, “Aren’t the ones in the Jeep yours? Momma Carly said they belonged to you.”

  Cyrus sat up quickly, “Hey Bell…” he was struggling with what to say but he looked like he saw a ghost. “You wanna go grab me a bowl of that popcorn?”

  “You don’t like microwave things,” she laughed and got up.

  “Yeah, but I’m a little hungry.” His eyes never left mine.

  “Okay.”

  The front door opened and Zandor walked in and he got up and walked to him and whispered something and Zandor closed his eyes quickly and shook his head before walking into the kitchen.

  “Hey Tara, we need to chat,” he grabbed my hand and pulled me up and pulled me behind him down the hall to the other room, a room that looked like an office or library. Once inside he shut the door behind him and motioned for me to sit.