Forever Daddy

by Shanna Handel

  “I know,” Carrie sniffled.

  Wes forced her gaze upwards until her eyes were locked with his. “Do you? Because if you did, you wouldn’t have left like that. You would have talked to me, and trusted that I would have fixed it.”

  “I do know; I just didn’t remember for a minute.”

  Wes suppressed a chuckle, but the joviality was short lived and his tone was firm.

  “I will be more sensitive to the situation and keep a distance between Jessica and me, but you are going to be punished.”

  A fire came to Carrie’s cheeks and she looked down at her lap. Darn. This was not going to end well for her. She could sense that she had pushed Wes to a new limit.

  “What am I going to do with you, Carrie girl?” he asked, still holding her chin firmly.

  “Forgive me?” she asked in a tiny voice.

  Grateful to see an amused twinkle in his eyes, Carrie smiled at Wes’ soft words, “I already have, baby. I already have.”

  A great sigh of relief escaped Carrie when Wes released his hold on her face and let her curl up on his chest. He continued to stroke her hair as the many emotions melted away with her tears. After a few quiet moments, Wes added, “But you are in a whole heap of trouble, little girl.”

  Carrie could almost smile at the words. Almost.

  Shuffling off to bed, Carrie stopped when she saw the soft glow of light peeking out from Jessica’s door. Knowing she should go to bed, but feeling a tug at the heart, Carrie tiptoed over to the door and gave it a soft knock.

  “Jessica?” she whispered into the crack of the door. “Are you awake?”

  The reply was a little sniffle and a quiet, “Yes, Carrie. Come in.”

  On the rumpled bed sat Jessica. Her perfect platinum hair was mussed and sticking out every which way, which of course only made her look more beautiful. The only thing that didn’t make her look like the spread of a pregnancy magazine was her eyes. They were tired and red rimmed, with dark circles hovering underneath them. The huge, old tee shirt that she wore stretched across her growing middle. The strained picture was of a distressed cat holding onto a tree branch and the words below read, ‘Hang in there.’

  “Hi,” Carrie said, smiling at the cat. “Nice shirt.”

  “Hi.” Jessica smiled back. “Ironic, I know,” she said, looking down at the shirt. “But it’s the only completely comfortable one that fits me.”

  Carrie came and sat down on the bed beside Jessica. “You know, they make clothes for pregnant women.”

  Jessica laughed. “I know, I’ve been avoiding those stores though. Some of the stuff is just awful. I’ve transitioned to yoga pants and my loosest sweaters.” She tugged on the frayed hem of her shirt. “And old tee shirts.”

  “There is a store in the Clinton mall. The stuff in the window looks pretty cute.”

  “Thanks, I’ll check it out.” Jessica arched her back and stretched, looking uncomfortable. “I’m glad you came in, Carrie. I wanted to talk to you. Wes came in here earlier tonight and we talked. He reminded me how hard this situation is for you. I’ve been selfish and didn’t want to see it because you’ve been so sweet to me. He and I agreed that it might be better if I stayed somewhere else. The truth is, Carrie, I’ve already asked too much of you.”

  Carrie began to protest and Jess held her hand up to stop her. “No, it’s true. I mean, what girl has her wedding called off and is then forced to live with the tramp who broke it up in the first place? Even if it turns out I did you a solid and saved you from a total scumbag, and everything worked out better in the end and those couples weren’t meant to be, it’s still asking too much of a woman.” Jessica took a deep breath, then continued to speak. “And I honestly don’t know if the tables were turned, well I just don’t know if I could do what we are asking of you. I don’t even know how you can stand to have me here in this house for a minute, much less to stay. If it wasn’t for this little one,” Jessica rubbed her belly, “I wouldn’t even be here. I would have kept myself out of yours and Wes’ lives for good.”

  It was true. Everything that Jessica had said was the harsh reality. And yet, somehow the situation just wasn’t that simple. There was Mama to think about, the only innocent one in all of this and the woman who stood to lose everyone if peace couldn’t be made. And Wes, who’s love for his younger brother was unconditional and impossible for him to revoke. Carrie knew that Wes’ true feelings for Jess were brotherly and that if he could turn back time, their past would only involve friendship. Then, there was Jessica.

  Jessica had evoked many emotions in Carrie over the past year. Jealousy, anger, even rage. But also, when Carrie was totally honest with herself, Jessica’s terrible actions had brought her relief. Two nights before the wedding if Jessica hadn’t drunk too much bourbon at the barn party and moved in on her lifelong crush, Garrett, who knows, Carrie might have made the biggest mistake of her life.

  The error of Jessica’s ways had led to Carrie being the happiest girl in the world and having the man of her dreams, but for Jessica, the mistake had proven disastrous. She was now alone, her life completely upended, a single mother by a selfish man who thought of nothing but what he wanted out of life at that moment.

  Looking at Jessica’s face, the sad beauty haunted Carrie. Jess seemed to only be the shell of her former, confident, happy self. Even while hating Garrett, Jessica still loved the unborn baby and cared only for the tiny passenger with very little thought to her own pain. Any ill will Carrie felt for Jessica seemed to melt out of her heart and pool into a puddle by her feet. It was time for forgiveness. The real kind, the kind that didn’t bear grudges or dabble in the past.

  Carrie reached out her hand and placed it on top of Jessica’s. She could make a dramatic speech, but being a teacher, Carrie had learned a lot about life from little kids. “Jess? Let’s be friends.” Sometimes a simple declaration of friendship was enough.

  Jessica looked up at Carrie, her sweet, surprised smile tainted by sadness. “Really?” she asked, her eyes wide.

  Nodding, Carrie pulled Jessica into her for a hug. Carrie was shocked by the river of tears Jessica sobbed into her shoulder. Carrie only pulled her in tighter and let her new friend cry it out.

  Wes had a look of surprise when he came into the sunny kitchen for his morning coffee. There at the table sat Carrie and Jessica, laughing over French toast. “Did I miss a joke?” he asked, smiling. He walked over to the table and gave Carrie a sweet kiss. “Good morning, beautiful.”

  “Good morning,” Carrie said, smiling. “We were just laughing about Jessica’s wardrobe choices over the past few weeks. It seems she’s been keeping her pants together with hair ties- and duct tape.”

  “Hey, it worked,” Jessica laughed. “I was in a pinch.”

  “But it didn’t work. That’s the funny part of the story.” Carrie winked at Wes. “That part is just for the girls, though.” She and Jessica burst into another round of giggles.

  Wes turned away. As he poured his coffee, Carrie could see that he was eyeing them, happily from behind the kitchen cabinets. She felt warm inside.

  “We are going to the mall in Clinton, today, to get Jess some proper preggo wear. Do you need anything?” Carrie smiled sweetly as Wes almost choked on his coffee.

  “You guys are going shopping, together?” He asked, clearly trying to disguise the surprise from his voice.

  “Mmm hmm,” Carrie replied demurely.

  Gathering himself, Wes responded, “Have fun, girls.” Wes looked directly at Carrie, and the next words he said had a very clear underlying daddy tone to them. “Just come and say goodbye before you leave, Carrie girl.” Carrie’s smile melted off her face and she felt a weight in the pit of her stomach.

  Last night when they had gotten home from the school house, Wes had sent Carrie off to bed, saying they would, “Take care of things in the morning.” So busy with her new-found friendship with Jessica, Carrie had totally forgotten about her transgressions the night before.
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br />   As Wes left the kitchen, Jessica looked curiously at Carrie. “Did I get you into trouble or something?”

  “No, ma’am. I do a great job of that all by myself.” Carrie said with a sigh. “I really messed up last night.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  Jessica knew Wes well, and he and Carrie’s lifestyle choices. What was the use of having a new girlfriend if you couldn’t share secrets? And Jessica had just disclosed a very embarrassing private story of her own. One where she had tried to use duct tape to hold up her old jeans at work. Being too vain to bite the bullet and move onto the elastic waisted maternity pants, Jessica had tried to duct tape her pants closed and cover them with a long shirt. The tape had failed and Jessica’s pants had fallen, in the middle of doing a client’s hair, in the upscale New York salon where she did hair. Carrie figured she could share a story of her own.

  “I guess I freaked out a little bit last night.” She could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I saw Wes talking to you in your room and he kissed you on your head,”

  “Oh,” Jessica said quietly.

  “I ran off to the schoolroom. I just needed to clear my head and I had some organizing to do. I didn’t realize it was after midnight and I didn’t think to leave a note. I just fled. You know I do that sometimes.”

  Jessica smiled knowingly, her eyes sympathetic.

  “Wes found me and was livid that I had left like that. Then he told me what you guys had been talking about. I should have just stayed and told him how I felt, but I didn’t, and now I’m in deep water.”

  Jessica gave a low whistle. “I’ll be glad I’m not you when we are sitting in the car the two hours it takes to get to Clinton.” She winked at Carrie. “Better pack a pillow.” They both laughed, then Jessica continued. “But seriously, Carrie, this has been hard enough on you. Wes and I feel nothing for one another but friendship but it’s not fair to you, given our past, for us to be touchy feely with each other. I promise we will keep a respectful distance from one another. And I will find an apartment tomorrow.” She put a hand on Carrie’s shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about, Carrie. Wes literally thinks you are the only girl in the world.”

  “Thanks, Jess. But there might not be anything left of me after my trip to the barn, this morning.” Carrie stood from the table. “I’d better go see him and get this over with. Then we can get out of here and get our shopping on.” Carrie did a little dance that made Jessica laugh, then bravely turned and headed out to find her daddy and meet her fate.

  Wes was standing with his back to Carrie, talking to the ranch hands, when she approached him.

  “Morning, ma’am,” Gary tipped his hat to her.

  “Morning, Gary, morning, y’all.” Carrie smiled at the men and they looked adoringly at her. She was the doll of the ranch and they all loved her.

  Turning towards her, Wes was the ever-perfect picture of a rugged cowboy, right down to the grin that sat on his tanned face and set butterflies to flying in Carrie’s stomach. Just when she thought she was getting used to having a cowboy for her daddy, Wes’ masculine energy would catch her off guard. He was a commanding presence when working on the ranch, and his smoldering gray eyes could set fire to her with one look. The muscles in his shoulders and back often strained the fabric of his soft flannel shirts. Wes ran a hand through his longer sandy locks and flashed those eyes at her. She melted.

  Wes turned back to his men. “Excuse me, fellas. I need to have a little chat with my girl, here.”

  The ranch-hands all looked at Carrie, knowingly. It was no secret at The Lonestar Cattle Company that this little girl had a strict, loving daddy in Wes. Everyone who knows Wes, knows it’s his ranch, and his rules and you’d best obey them or there would be a price to pay. Always fair, but always firm, Wes had the full respect of every man in the outfit. And sweet little Carrie had their hearts.

  As Wes lead her away, firmly by the arm, she gave a little farewell wave over her shoulder. Wes guided Carrie towards the barn, away from eyes and ears of the busy ranch. Opening the door, he let Carrie in first, then pulled the door shut, tight, behind them.

  Carrie took a gulp as she looked at the familiar little, brown leather strap that hung from the wall by the stool.

  Walking around her, Wes sat on the stool, resting his boot on the rung near the bottom of the stool, he leaned back casually. Carrie looked him over from his sandy curls to his broad chest, and his jean clad legs. He was a tall drink of water and as nervous as she was, she couldn’t help wanting to tear his clothes off and see the tanned muscles hiding under all that flannel and denim.

  “Come here, baby,” he said softly, holding his arms out to her.

  Carrie walked over and perched herself on the bent knee. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she whispered, “I’m sorry about last night.”

  “Me, too.”

  Carrie looked at Wes in surprise. “Why are you sorry?”

  Wes sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I haven’t been fair to you, Carrie. Considering recent events, I’ve realized that I should never have tried to make you and Jessica be friends. After what happened with Jessica and Garrett in South Carolina, I should have just let them go. It was wrong to expect you to let them into your life. If I hadn’t insisted on us having dinner with them in New York, we might not have lost those months together in the first place. And, now, I see that having Jessica on the ranch was disrespectful to you.” He took his fingers and gently placed them under Carrie’s chin, tilting her face towards his. “I am so sorry for putting you through this, Carrie. Can you forgive me?”

  Without hesitation, Carrie answered, “Yes.”

  Slowly, Wes leaned in and softly, his lips met hers. The way he kissed her made her know that she truly was the only girl in the world for him, and she was melting into his arms.

  Wes’ hands found their way into her curls. He held her head in his hands as the kiss deepened. Then, he pulled away and said, “I’d do anything for you, Carrie girl.”

  “How about forgetting about my spanking?” Carrie murmured with a smile, ready to start kissing again.

  Wes pulled away further, his hands moving to her shoulders. “Anything but that,” he said. His hands wandered down her arms and onto her thighs as he whispered into her ear, “Now what kind of daddy would I be if I let my little girl’s naughtiness go unpunished?” Hands still wandering over her body, he continued, “My ranch, my rules, little girl. You know that. And what is the punishment for running away?”

  Carrie knew all too well what the punishment for running away was. After the dust had settled from the crazy wedding break up, the cheating scandal, and Carrie and Wes had gotten together, Wes had asked her to go to dinner with Jessica and Garrett. A little ‘make peace so we can have holidays together’ meal. It had been going well until Jessica accidently revealed the fact she was pregnant. The drama of the situation was too much for Carrie. She had left the table, the city, the state, and run home to South Carolina. When Wes finally came for her, he had brought the little brown leather strap with him, and after asking her permission had punished her with it in her own barn.

  Knowing she was required to say the embarrassing words, she took a deep breath and said them. “A spanking.”

  “Not just a spanking, I’m afraid. It’s a bare bottom strapping. Isn’t it?”

  “Yes,” she sighed. “It is.” Been there, done that, wrote a postcard, she thought to herself. Carrie wanted to kick herself for getting into this predicament yet again. Would she ever learn?

  “Say it.” His words were almost a growl in her ear. “What is the punishment for running away, Carrie?”

  “A bare bottom strapping,” she whispered, her face burning.

  “Over my knee, young lady.” Wes expertly flipped her from sitting on his thigh to bending over it. Carrie’s feet barely touched the floor and she had to rest on the tips of her toes. Wes’ hand rested on her bottom. “Last night you crossed a line. Although I
feel responsible for pushing you over that line, there is no excuse for your behavior. Leaving the house after midnight and not telling anyone is unacceptable.” The first, hard smack from his hand landed on the middle of her right cheek and she was glad her jeans were still on. “Where are young ladies supposed to be at midnight?”

  “In their beds. Oomph.” Several more, hard smacks landed on the same spot as the first. “Ye-ouch.” She hated when he spanked the same spot.

  “Were you in your bed last night?”

  “No. Ye-ouchie.” Matching spanks methodically hit the center of her left cheek.

  “And why is that?”

  “I was being naughty. I got upset and ran away, ouch,” more spanks, “but I should have talked to you instead.”

  “Good girl.” Wes helped Carrie up and pulled her into his arms for a kiss. She started to cuddle into his chest but he said, “Now, go and get your strap down, please.”

  Sighing, Carrie walked over to the wall. This part was always the most embarrassing. Not only did she have to retrieve the very instrument that would be used on her behind, she could barely reach it. Wes loved to watch her stretch up onto her tiptoes and struggle to get the thing down. Carrie heard a chuckle behind her. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “Not funny,” with a pout.

  Finally, she got the strap to come free from its nail and carried the dreaded object over to Wes. The feel of the smooth leather on her palm made the love, hate feelings for the object strengthen. Carrie dreaded the strappings and always thought she would fall apart during them, but something about the way it made her feel, to be over Wes’ knee, exposed, the sound of the strap swishing in the air, the sting as it met her bare skin, and the feeling that she belonged to Wes made them bearable. Carrie knew that Wes could punish her with it anytime he saw fit. This fact somehow completed her.