Forever Daddy

by Shanna Handel

  “What if I can’t give you what you want?” Jessica asked softly, looking away from his steady gaze.

  “Then I will keep waiting. I have nothing but time.”

  “What if it takes forever? What if I never come around?”

  “Then I will be right here by your side, if you will have me, just waiting.”

  “You know in the past, I’ve been a woman that prefers to be in charge.”

  “The past is always best left in the past, isn’t it, Miss Jessica?” Ray said with a wink.

  “Well, if we ever were, together, I get the sense that wouldn’t work for you.”

  “When you’re mine, you won’t want to be in charge anymore, honey.” Ray reached up and entwined his fingers in her hair, pulling her face towards him. Leaning down, carefully around the baby, Ray pressed his lips against hers. His kiss grew hungry and he began to explore her mouth with the tip of his tongue, tightening his hold on her hair, and taking possession of every inch of her being. Then he pulled away.

  Jessica was left breathless. Ray’s kiss made her head dizzy, and her knees weak.

  “But I won’t rush you. As I said, I’ve nothing but time. I’ve waited this long. I still remember the moment I knew I was head over heels for you.”

  Jessica smiled, she’d heard the story before, many times, from other people, but she wanted to hear it from Ray.

  “Ever since I saw you put that perm in Ms. Burberry’s hair.”

  “What?” Jessica was shocked. The whole town had basically told her that Ray had fallen for her on her twenty-first birthday, a fun, sexy memory. “I thought it was that night in the bar when I made you move the tables and got everyone line dancing.”

  “Well, yes, you were quite something that night. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way you looked in those little cut off jean shorts with your cowgirl boots,” he said, sneaking a peek at her long, tanned legs. “But you were still young and crazy, then. Besides, sexy isn’t what makes a man fall in love.”

  “It’s not?”

  “No. It’s something much deeper.” Ray tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear, then let his hand stray to her bare thigh.

  “Tell me the story.” She casually put her hand over his.

  “I was at your salon, having driven Ms. Burberry there,”

  “A public service. That woman cannot see more than two feet in front of her.”

  “Yes. Anyway, I’ve seen all the women in town and they all get their hair cut at your place, and they always have the latest style. When I saw you pull out that hair perming kit…”

  “The Granny Blue Special. I keep it for my lovely little blue haired ladies.”

  “That’s the one. I watched how gently you did her hair. Her face looked twenty years younger, just by talking to you. The way you cared for her, a woman that most people don’t give a second glance to, and made her feel special, well that was the day I fell for you. And then to top it off, when she handed you that crisp five-dollar bill after two hours of intense work, you had a genuine look of gratitude. And I was smitten.”

  “I know she can’t afford to tip. I always sneak it back into her purse,” Jessica admitted shyly.

  “And I’m sure you charge her the same price she probably paid in 1950. Don’t you?”

  Jessica gave a little nod.

  “That, that right there, is why I love you.”

  He loved her. This was normally Jessica’s cue to make an excuse as to why she needed him to leave or tell him that she didn’t want to mess up their friendship, but the honest words flowed from her heart and out of her mouth before she had a second to think. “I love you, too, Ray.”

  “You don’t have to say it back, Jessica. Wait till you mean it.”

  “Ray, how long have you known me?”

  “About as long as you’ve been alive, I guess. It’s a small town.”

  “Have you ever known me to say something I didn’t mean?”

  A smile crossed Ray’s face, his brown eyes twinkling. “No, ma’am.”

  “I didn’t think so.”

  Ray took Evan and put him in the bassinette. Returning to Jessica, Ray grabbed hold of her and kissed her like only a man who had desired a woman for over ten years, could.

  Ray was as good at kissing as he was at cooking, and over the next few days, he was doing a lot of both. Since the day of Garrett’s visit, and their confession of love for one another, Ray had practically moved into the tiny cottage.

  Their evenings consisted of Ray cooking delicious food for them, and the two adults laughing as Evan played with his portion of it, making an epic mess every time.

  Serving Jessica up a huge plate of pasta, Ray almost dropped the bowl in surprise when she said, “So are you, like a daddy type?” The kitchen filled with the sound of Evan clanging his spoon against his tray and laughing.

  “Maybe, probably. I guess you could say that.” Ray placed the dish down and went to the oven to check on his garlic bread. “But in a ‘who’s your daddy’ way, not ‘I want to be your father’ way if that makes sense.”

  “Hmm… This is good,” Jessica said as she took a second bite. “That makes sense. But if it’s a ‘who’s your daddy’ way, does that include discipline in the relationship?”

  Ray busied himself folding back the foil and slicing the bread, giving himself a few moments to answer. “Not all daddy’s spank, you know,” he murmured in response.

  Jessica slurped up another bite of pasta, then boldly, as if asking him what the weather would be tomorrow, said, “Are you the spanking type?”

  “I could be, but I don’t have to be. It depends entirely on what type of daddy you want. But I am as protective as a bear and I won’t ever let you get away with not taking care of yourself, spanking or not. Which reminds me, I left the salad in the fridge, let me get it out.”

  In a bit of an awkward silence after Jessica’s brash questioning, Ray heaped salad in bowls and placed one in front of Jessica with one eyebrow raised. She was notorious for partaking in the pasta and leaving the veggies behind.

  In between bites of Ray’s family’s secret recipe spaghetti bolognese, Jessica snuck peeks at Ray. He was big, strong, intelligent, kind, and he could cook. And he loved her, and he loved her son. And then there was the kiss. My God, the way that man had kissed her. If he wanted to spank her, so be it. After a meal like this, she would probably let him do just about anything to her. Feeling her face flush at her own thoughts, Jessica tried to focus on her meal.

  “This feels an awful lot like a date,” Ray said.

  “We’ve never been on a real date, have we?” Jessica asked.

  “I guess not. Would you like to go on a date with me?”

  “Of course.”

  “It might be a more appropriate environment to continue this discussion,” Ray said, throwing a wink in Evan’s spaghetti sauce covered direction.

  “It’s a date,” Jessica said, refilling her plate with the delicious pasta. “Does this mean that we are officially dating?”

  “Don’t you want to be?” Ray said in surprise.

  “I do.” Jessica felt like she was back in high school. The butterflies and nerves of early love filled her stomach. “I want you to be my boyfriend.” She laughed, “That sounded young.”

  “I’d be honored to be your boyfriend. And your daddy, if you’ll have me,” Ray said.

  For once in her life, she was too shy to answer. Jessica just smiled into her plate.

  After Ray left to go back to work that night, Evan fell asleep quickly, leaving Jessica alone with her thoughts. Still basking in the afterglow of saying the first, ‘I love yous,’ and the thought that she had a real life, cooking, caring boyfriend, Jessica could not believe how much her life had changed since Christmas Eve. Again, she found herself asking, whatever did she do to deserve Ray? Tonight, as she pondered the question that had been nagging her, she came up with an answer.

  Maybe love isn’t about being deserving. Maybe sometimes it’s just a li
ttle bit of luck, finding that perfect match. As far as the type of relationship that was developing, maybe it wasn’t something that had to be defined. Just two people caring for one another in their own special way that worked for them. Jessica took a moment to commit to having an attitude of gratitude. Not question what made Ray want to be with her, not doubt her love for him, and not try to fit their style of loving into a cookie cutter shape. He was a strong man, and she could be a strong woman and still be his Miss Jessica, his young lady to take care of.

  The bed looked like a department store had thrown up on it. Jessica carefully tiptoed around it, trying not to step on shoes that she had flung down in frustration. Nothing was working. Her old clothes didn’t fit, her newish clothes had milk stains all over them, or were obviously maternity clothing. Jessica’s feet had grown a half size during the pregnancy and all her shoes pinched her feet.

  “Humph.” She sat down on the bed, giving up. There was no way she could make herself look like anything other than what she was, a tired mother. Laying back amongst the mess of clothes, Jessica dialed Ray’s number.

  “Ray’s.”

  “I can’t go on a date with you,” Jessica said tearfully into the phone.

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t have anything to wear.” In response to her emergency, Ray gave a big, belly laugh.

  “I’m serious, Ray. Nothing fits. I look like a milking cow.” Surprising herself with her tears, Jessica started to cry.

  “Sit tight. I’ll be right there, honey.”

  When the knock came to the door, instead of greeting Ray, Jessica yelled, “Come in,” from where she lay.

  Ray appeared at her bedroom door, taking in the tornado aftermath-like scene. “What happened in here? And where’s Evan?”

  “Mama took him to the ranch for a few hours so we could have our date. She’s bringing him back late tonight.”

  Ray walked over to the bed and sat beside Jessica. “Well, we have three options. One, we can cancel.”

  “No way. I was excited to have a proper date with you.”

  “Number two, you can stay in your sweats and we can order pepperoni pineapple pizza and I can help you clean up this mess.”

  “Maybe.” Her sweats were incredibly comfy, but she was wearing them so much she was afraid that they were starting to mold to her body.

  “Option three, and my personal favorite, we go to Clinton, I take you shopping at the mall, then we hit Giorgio’s.”

  “Perfect, let’s go.” Jessica sprang from the bed, wondering how one was supposed to pump discreetly during a date.

  Sipping her wine, savoring the flavor, Jessica felt a shy blush warming her cheeks. For the first time in her life, she was having an elegant evening out, and she was in love. Jessica found herself feeling almost dizzy, as she looked across the white linen covered table at her date. Ray had bought a suit in the mall, changing in the dressing rooms, then paying as he left. The navy coat with a white shirt underneath gave the bearded man a sophisticated look. Most attractive of all was his smile, and the way he made Jessica feel when he looked at her.

  “That dress compliments your beauty,” Ray said, admiring her. “Good choice.”

  Jessica blushed further. Usually opting for classic black, Ray had gotten her out of her element and chosen a red, silk dress. The material was very forgiving, and Jessica found combining the dress with a full body spandex sucking-in contraption, she felt beautiful and confident.

  “Thank you,” she murmured, sipping her wine, and racking her brain for intelligent speech.

  The waiter approached, and Ray ordered for them both, he knew Jessica always got the shrimp with angel hair pasta dish and white wine. Once the waiter was out of ear shot, Ray said, “So, Miss Jessica, let’s get down to the serious daddy business.”

  “Okay,” she replied, nervously.

  “What’s your favorite color?”

  “Oh,” she replied, taken off guard, “Um, teal, or red, I think.”

  Ray laughed at her reaction. “Relax, Jessica. I just wanted to take you out for a nice date. We don’t need to hash out the entire future of our relationship. We can just enjoy each other’s company.”

  Smiling as her nerves began to dissipate, Jessica took another sip of wine. “We did say we were going to further discuss, you know, stuff, on our date,” she replied, a bit surprised that she felt disappointed they were not going to broach the subject after all. She could not believe the next words that were out of her mouth. “Do you want spanking in our relationship?”

  “I wouldn’t mind spanking you, occasionally, when you need it.”

  “When on earth do I ever ‘need’ a spanking?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe when you stay up watching murder mysteries after you’ve been told not to.” Ray raised an eyebrow to her. “And then you are grumpy in the morning. Or when you forget to lock the front door at night. And when you don’t call certain people to tell them that you are going to be late coming home at night. Would you agree that those things might deserve a little trip over my knee?”

  “Maybe,” she shrugged shyly. “I mean, I like a little hanky panky spanky in the bedroom, you know,” Ray smiled, knowingly, “but I don’t know about for other stuff.”

  Ray leaned in towards Jessica. “I think we both know who the daddy is here,” he said, his voice low. Heat washed over Jessica’s entire body at his words. It was true, spanking or not, Ray was fully in charge, and Jessica loved it. Having made his point, Ray poured another glass of wine for Jessica and leaned back in his chair. “Now where were we. Ah, I don’t think I know what your favorite season is.”

  Jessica smiled. “It used to be fall, but now it’s spring.”

  “Why?” Ray asked.

  “Because that’s when you started coming around my house.”

  Ray smiled and grabbed her hand on the table, giving it a squeeze. So far, this was the best date Jessica had ever been on in her life.

  Chapter 7

  “Have you ever had your mouth washed out with soap?”

  “No,” Carrie answered, wrinkling her nose at the idea.

  “Well, you will, young lady. I don’t ever want to hear you call yourself that again. Is that understood?”

  “Yes, sir,” Carrie said as she continued to tug at the zipper, cursing the tiny metal teeth in her mind. “I just bought this on our honeymoon. It should still fit. I blame Mama’s pies. And the amazing kitchen you designed for me.” Carrie gave one final tug and there was a loud ripping noise. “Damnit!” she cursed loudly, then quickly covered her mouth with her hands.

  “Language, young lady.” Wes smiled. “You look beautiful to me but I know you are frustrated that the dress doesn’t fit.” Wes walked over and unzipped the dress, peeling it from her shoulders. “You have so many beautiful dresses, and we have to leave in two hours. Try something else on.” Gesturing for her to step out of the dress that was now on the floor, Carrie obeyed. Wes carefully hung it back up in her closet and pulled down the rose colored one that he had brought on their honeymoon. “How about this one?”

  “I love that one.” Carrie took the dress and slid it over her head. “Though it feels a little tight around the middle. I thought cooking was my new hobby, but I guess the real one is eating.” She sat down on the edge of the bed with a loud ‘humph.’

  “You look beautiful to me.”

  “Even if I become the size of a house?” she asked crankily.

  “Even then.” Wes kissed the top of her head and sat beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “We need to get going though, sweetie. We will be late to meet the travel agent.” Wes had finally gotten Carrie to commit to a date, and she was looking forward to the wedding now. They were going to book tickets for themselves, Mama, and Carrie’s parents, and Jessica, her official boyfriend Ray, and baby Evan, at their resort in Mexico.

  As he stood impatiently, Carrie knew Wes was eager to leave. He hated to be late and since being with Carrie, it had b
ecome a habit of theirs. “Let’s go, baby.”

  Carrie did not rise from the bed. “Don’t rush me,” she said crossly.

  Wes crossed his arms over his chest and stood looking over Carrie. She knew what was coming. He had let the name calling go, let the cussing go, but the crankiness— There was only one cure in Wes’ book for a cranky attitude. And that was a good, sound spanking.

  “You’re right, I shouldn’t rush you.”

  Carrie looked up at Wes, suspiciously.

  “We do have a little time.” Wes looked down at the watch on his wrist. “I think we have just enough time to try out your Christmas present.”

  Carrie quickly hopped up from the bed. “Err... we don’t want to be late. Plenty of time for that another day.” Carrie went to the closet to retrieve her boots.

  “Carrie, hand me that paddle,” Wes said casually, as if he were asking for Carrie to pass him a book. “I don’t want to let a perfectly good day get ruined by delaying a much-needed spanking.”

  He watched as she looked at the paddle, then turned over her shoulder and peered at him. Carrie always liked to gauge whether she could get out of a punishment.

  “Right now,” he followed up, sternly. There was no doubt in her mind that this was going to happen, like it or not.

  Carrie sighed and slowly lifted her hand to reach the paddle. It was too high for her to get down from the peg. She stood on tippy toe, now frustrated, and tried tugging it from the wall.

  “Why don’t you ask for help, instead of tearing down the wall?” Wes asked, sounding like he was hiding the laughter from his voice.

  “I can do it myself,” she answered sassily.

  Wes walked over to where Carrie stood. “You go sit on the bed, little bit. I’ll get it down for you.”

  Knowing she was already in trouble but still wanting to show her displeasure, Carrie borderline stomped over to the bed, as Wes lifted the paddle from its peg.

  He lay the paddle down on one side of her and sat on the other. Gathering Carrie up in his arms, he pulled her onto his lap. “Sometimes little girls need a spanking, and sometimes they need a cuddle. Which is it today, sweetheart?”