The Nurse's Newborn Gift

by Wendy S. Marcus

  With suddenly sweaty hands, she opened the envelope, took out the letter, and started to read.

  Hey Spence,

  If you’re reading this, I guess I zigged when I should have zagged and I’m dead. Well, doesn’t that suck? I hope I went out in a blaze of glory doing something heroic.

  I know we’re on shaky terms right now because you don’t agree with my reason for joining the Army. But it’s my decision, my life. And if my plan works, and Krissy and I wind up together, well, it’ll be a happy life indeed. Sure, I’m not a fan of getting blown up in some foreign country, but if I do what I’ve been trained to do, I should be fine. Anyway, in the States, I could get killed simply crossing the street, right? No honor in that.

  Now for the important stuff. If I know Krissy—and I know her better than anyone—she’s probably waited until the last possible minute to give you this letter. So by now you can probably tell she’s pregnant. Surprise! The baby is mine. I wish I could see her belly rounded with my child, wish I could be there to run to the store to buy stuff to satisfy her crazy cravings and hold her hand through labor and help her care for and raise our child. But obviously I can’t.

  In my absence, Krissy will try to do everything on her own, but she can’t. She’ll need help. And I expect you, my oldest and best friend, my blood brother since the third grade, to be there for her. That’s why I made you the baby’s godfather.

  You’re the best guy I know, Spence. I trust you to help Krissy raise my son or daughter the way I would have. Not because I don’t think she’s going to be a fantastic mother—because I know, without a doubt, she’s going to be a fantastic mother. And not because I don’t think she’ll raise my child right—because I know she will. But I don’t want her to have to do it alone. I don’t want her to struggle and sacrifice, like so many single mothers do.

  I know you had a crush on her at one point. I saw the way you used to look at her when you thought no one would notice, like you wanted to strip her bare and get down to business on the closest flat surface. Yet you never acted on that urge, at least as far as I know, out of respect for me, I’m sure. Another reason you’re the best guy I know. Maybe I should have bowed out. I’m pretty sure she had a thing for you for a while, too. I’m selfish enough to admit, I liked it better when the two of you were fighting than when you were lusting after each other.

  But things have changed. With me no longer in the picture, there’s no one I’d rather Krissy be with more than you. I know you’ll treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

  If she’s not in a relationship, or the guy she’s with is her typical A-hole of a boyfriend, and if you’re not in a serious relationship, I want you to turn on the charm and win her over. Dig deep. Remember how you used to feel about her before you two started fighting, reignite that old spark. Be nice. Be helpful. Be there when she needs you.

  You were always so quick to see the bad in Krissy. Well, I got news for you, buddy. No one’s perfect. Get over the past. Look at her. Really look. Past her pretty face and hot body, beyond her flirty behavior and sarcasm, deeper, to the sweet, thoughtful, special woman she is inside. Honest to God, I am giving you a gift, the life I always wanted for myself, a fun, loving woman who, if you let her, will make you happy. I know she will.

  Wish I could be there when Krissy tells my mom and dad that they’re grandparents. I get choked up thinking about it. Anyway, I know you’ll do the right thing. Even so, I’ll be watching.

  Love you, man,

  Jarrod

  So Jarrod had trusted her.

  ...because I know, without a doubt, she’s going to be a fantastic mother.

  Krissy’s heart swelled with love. Then it deflated with loss because Jarrod wasn’t here. Only Spencer was here—Spencer, who had only been a part of her life because Jarrod had asked him to be, guilted him to be.

  And I expect you, my oldest and best friend, my blood brother since the third grade, to be there for her.

  Krissy’s eyes met Spencer’s. “If you expected this letter to help your case, it didn’t. Nice to know you’re always so quick to see the bad in me.”

  “So much for you agreeing to keep quiet and give me a chance to explain.”

  Krissy crossed her arms over her chest, braced herself for what he was about to say, and glanced at the clock on the microwave. “Your ten minutes starts now.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  KRISSY SAT ACROSS from Spencer, looking hurt and ready to hurl her water glass at his head at the same time. Letting her read Jarrod’s letter had been a risk. But if they were to have any chance for a future together, there could be no secrets between them.

  “To start,” Spencer said. “The last time I saw you I acted like a total jerk.”

  “An adequate description.” She nodded as if giving it further consideration. “A decent place to start.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Her posture softened considerably.

  “I need you to know that I wasn’t being nice or helpful simply to get you into bed.” He stared deeply into her eyes. “You have to believe me.”

  She stared back, but said nothing.

  Not good.

  “Sex with you has me thinking words like transcendent and unrivaled and unsurpassable. And let’s face it, those aren’t words I use on a regular basis.”

  She gifted him with a small smile. “I like those words.”

  He did too. “Why do you think that is?”

  “We’ve got some crazy sexual chemistry going on.”

  “No.” He reached over to take her hand into his. “It’s because what’s between us is deeper and more meaningful than just sex. My need for you is so much more powerful than simple sexual attraction. Regardless of what brought us together, I’ve come to care for you, Krissy.”

  She shook her head and tried to pull her hand away.

  He held on tight, wouldn’t let her go until he said all he’d come here to say. “Yes, in the beginning I got involved with you because Jarrod had asked me to.”

  “And probably because you thought I’d be a total screw-up of a mother.”

  Seeing her hurt made him hurt. “Back when you first showed up at my door, I’d had no idea you’d grown up to be such a responsible, committed, and capable woman.”

  Her eyes met his. “Thank you, Spencer. That means a lot.”

  “I helped you because it was the right thing to do, because you needed my help. But honest to God, I enjoyed spending time with you. Which is why, even after I assured myself you were a wonderful mother and you were taking great care of J.J. and really didn’t need anything from me, I kept on stopping by. Because I wanted to, not because I felt I needed to. Because I started to care for you...again.”

  “Did you really have a crush on me back in high school?” She tilted her head. “You sure had an odd way of showing it.” She seemed to give it some thought. “Because of Jarrod.”

  He nodded. “He’d been so in love with you for so long. I couldn’t...”

  Krissy squeezed his hand. “You’re a great friend, Spencer.”

  Sometimes he didn’t feel like one.

  “But even so,” she went on. “You shouldn’t be expected to change your life, to take on responsibility for a woman and her baby, simply because your friend asked you to. Jarrod was wrong to—”

  “No, he wasn’t,” Spencer insisted. “I’m glad he asked. I know I didn’t sound like it, but I’m happy having you and J.J. as part of my life. I know I’m not his father and I had no right to—”

  “I was wrong,” Krissy interrupted.

  What? “No.”

  “Hear me out,” Krissy said. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. When we started sleeping together, I treated our relationship like I’ve treated every other sexual relationship I’ve had. I guarded my hear
t so you wouldn’t break it, and I made sure to remain independent so that when whatever this is between us runs its course and we break up, I’ll be just fine getting back to life on my own.”

  Spencer tried to say something but Krissy shushed him.

  “My point is, you were right. You’d taken on a fatherly role for J.J. and I let you. It’s obvious to me that you love him as if he were your own son.”

  “I do.”

  “So like I said, I was wrong to make the decision to go see my mom, knowing the risks involved, without discussing it with you first. Even though you’re not technically J.J.’s father, you’re the closest thing he has to one.”

  “Thank you. And I was wrong for throwing everything I’ve done for you back in your face, like Kira does. I was happy to go with you to Lamaze class, I wanted to be in the delivery room, and aside from leaky, smelly diapers and getting woken up in the middle of the night, I love everything else about being with you and J.J.”

  “You do take good care of us, just like Jarrod had asked you to.”

  Spencer’s heart swelled with joy and pride and hope. “Thank you.”

  “So where do we go from here?” Krissy asked, avoiding contact.

  “I’m hoping we can try again,” Spencer told her.

  She lifted her eyes to meet his. “I’d like that, too.”

  Thank you, God.

  “But from today on, things need to change.”

  He didn’t want things to change, liked them just the way they were.

  “Don’t look so worried,” she smiled. “I mean change as in we need to do things the right way this time. Go out on dates, just the two of us. Get to know each other again. Have fun. Go out with friends, together or alone. Have lives that aren’t dependent on one another. Create a relationship based on more than taking care of J.J. and having great sex.”

  He liked the sound of that.

  “No more spending all of our free time together. One thing I’ve realized in our time apart is that I need to find a balance between me the mom and me the fun-loving woman I was before I became a mom. I need to make new friends and find things to do in my new hometown, which I’ve already started doing, by the way.”

  “I saw you’ve been spending time at an exercise studio on Maple Street.”

  “I’m taking a Mommy and Me class. We line all the car seats along the back wall. It’s the cutest thing.” She stiffened.

  Uh-oh.

  “How did you know I was spending time at an exercise studio on Maple Street?”

  He could have tried to lie. Maybe something like, “I saw your car in the parking lot.” But no, a future built on no secrets between them meant no secrets between them. He reached into his pocket, took out his cell phone, and accessed his Find Friends app. Then he turned the screen to her.

  “Find Friends?”

  “It’s an app. I loaded it onto your phone.”

  “At the hospital.”

  He nodded.

  “You’ve been tracking me?” This time when she pulled her hand away he let her.

  He nodded again, waited for her to let him have it, felt everything slipping away. He’d lose her now for sure.

  Surprisingly she didn’t let him have it. All she did was ask, “Why?”

  “I’d told you I would respect your privacy and not visit you without an invitation. I loaded the app so I could keep my distance but still see what you were up to.”

  Leaning back in her chair, she crossed her arms over her chest. “To make sure I wasn’t going out drinking and partying all night?”

  “No,” he answered, staring her straight in the eyes, showing her he wasn’t lying. It hadn’t taken long for Spencer to realize how badly he’d misjudged her early on, and to know she was going to be a wonderful mother. “So I could feel close to you, without actually being close to you.” He told her the truth. “If that makes any sense at all.”

  “So you know I’ve been staying with Kira for the last two weeks.”

  He nodded again. “Had you been alone in your apartment, I wouldn’t have waited until today to try to talk to you.”

  Rather than yell and carry on like old Krissy would have, she sat calmly and quietly as if digesting all she’d just heard.

  Spencer wouldn’t allow himself to hope.

  By the time she finally spoke, he’d been fully prepared to throw himself to the floor at her feet to beg for forgiveness.

  Of all the things to come out of her mouth, “Thank you,” the two words in that exact order, were the absolute last two words he’d expected to hear.

  Had he misunderstood? “You’re thanking me for spying on you?”

  Her eyes met his. “I’m thanking you for telling me the truth.”

  The tightness in Spencer’s chest loosened enough for him to take a deep breath. “I’ll delete the app.”

  “Good idea.”

  He deleted the app. “And since I’m coming clean about my bad behavior...”

  “Lord, help me.” She shifted in her seat. “You mean there’s more?”

  “Might as well get it all out now, right? So we can start over with a clean slate.”

  “Why do I feel like I need a shot of something whiskey-like before you go on?”

  “About that kiss in high school,” he said.

  She let out a relieved breath. “You pushed me away because of Jarrod.”

  “Yeah. And I got mean and obnoxious to keep you away.”

  Her lips curved into a small smile. “Or I might have tried again.”

  “When you wanted something, you were pretty persistent.”

  “And I’d wanted you.”

  “For the record, I’d wanted you too. If not for Jarrod, I would have claimed you as mine that night.”

  She stood. “How about claiming me as yours right now?” She straddled his lap.

  Overcome with relief and gratitude, hope and happiness, Spencer threw his arms around her and kissed her like the world might end if he didn’t do it thoroughly enough, prepared to sit there, holding her until the end of time.

  She held him just as tightly, and kissed him back with equal enthusiasm, his perfect match in every way. So he eased back, to tell her, “You are what my life’s been missing. You’re fun and passionate, a wonderful mother, and thank God, kind and forgiving. You’re laid back, you go with the flow and I need that in my life.”

  She countered with, “You’re confident and sexy, dependable and smart, and you’re going to make a wonderful father for J.J., I mean for as long as...” She broke eye contact, looking unsure.

  “I’m going to make a wonderful father for J.J. period. End of statement.”

  “About my mother,” Krissy started. “I want my children to know her, even though she showed little interest in J.J. when we brought him over.”

  He’d been wondering about that. “I handled that all wrong. Of course you should take J.J. to visit her, anytime you want. I trust you to keep him safe. But if you want me to, I will happily dress up like a woman to go with you, not for safety, but to keep you company when you visit or have to care for her. I’d do anything for you, Krissy. And I hope that one day, you’ll feel blessed to have me in your life, same as you feel Kira is blessed to have Derrick in hers.”

  Taking his face in her hands and staring deeply into his eyes she said, “Baby, I already do.”

  EPILOGUE

  Ten years later

  KRISSY ENDED HER call just as Patti walked into the kitchen of the house she and Spencer had been living in for the past nine years, since right after they’d gotten married in a double ceremony with Kira and Derrick.

  “The boys will be home in ten minutes,” Patti said.

  Krissy held up her cell phone. “I heard you talking to Bart. I c
alled Kira. She’ll be here with all the kids in half an hour.” That would give J.J. time to open his two very special presents without the craziness of having his younger brother and sister, and Kira’s two children running all around, wanting to see.

  Krissy glanced at the letter from Jarrod and the velvet box from Patti and Bart that she’d set on the counter, trying to contain her emotions.

  Patti opened the refrigerator door, drawing her attention, and once again, Krissy could not believe her eyes. “You outdid yourself this year.” The race car cake Patti had created for J.J.’s tenth birthday celebration looked so realistic, Krissy hated the thought of cutting into it.

  “Have to admit,” Patti said as she took the cake and carried it to the center of their huge dining room table. “I had to do a few trial runs to get it just right. The people at Bart’s work were happy to help us get rid of the duds.”

  This year J.J. hadn’t wanted a big party. He’d only wanted two things, the letter from his dad up in heaven and to indulge his love of NASCAR and attend a race. For as much as J.J.’s looks and mannerisms, and his kind heart, were similar to Jarrod’s, their son was most certainly his own person. His obsession with all things auto racing had caught everyone by surprise. But his very involved Grandpa Bart and his loving father here on earth, Spencer, had embraced his love of NASCAR, and went on to develop their own obsessions with it.

  Ten minutes flew by in a blur of putting out drinks and food. Before Krissy knew it, the dog started in with his over-the-top happy ‘My family is home’ barking. A few seconds later J.J. ran into the kitchen to hug his grandma and then Krissy. “We had the best time, Mom.”

  Bart and Spencer followed, more slowly and lacking J.J.’s energy.

  Krissy kissed Spencer’s cheek. “An annual event?” she whispered.

  “God, I hope not.” He hugged her close. “I’m exhausted.” They’d left at dawn and it was nearing seven o’clock in the evening. Thank goodness tomorrow Spencer had a day off from his work with NYC United, where he was now the head athletic trainer, so both he and J.J. could spend all of Sunday relaxing.