Home Is Where the Heart Is

by Freda Lightfoot

  Gazing at her in a complete state of confusion, Steve struggled to decide how to deal with this problem, the list of rules he was holding in his hand quite forgotten. Was he prepared to stand back and do nothing while the girl he loved ruined her life? Even if she didn’t feel the same way about him, Cathie surely had a right to happiness and to be treated with respect by the man she did love. But what right did he have to interfere in her life?

  Taking a breath, he said, ‘I’m just asking how you can be certain that Alex has remained faithful to you. I rather suspect he might not have been.’

  ‘What? How dare you accuse him of such a thing!’ After tossing the remaining packs of cards on to the table, Cathie stormed out.

  Steve put his head in his hands and groaned. He’d said too much, or maybe not enough. He’d put forward his point of view in entirely the wrong way. Had he now lost her from his life? Maybe he should have named names, after all, or given her examples from his own experience. Sadly, thanks to the constant arguments Cathie had witnessed as a child between her own parents, she was far too wary of creating serious disputes herself. That was probably the reason she would never challenge Alex on the question of his fidelity. Dear Cathie believed that a peaceful and close relationship was essential, and was far too trusting as a result. He knew that well enough from all the times he’d teased and taken advantage of that attitude by playing jokes on her when they’d been kids, something he now regretted. Now it was him she’d deserted, not Alex.

  Outside, across the street, Alex watched as Cathie walked away. So the pair of them were still seeing each other, allegedly involved in charity work together. He’d rather suspected as much. No wonder she wished to postpone the wedding rather than bring it forward. Maybe she was as much in two minds about who to marry as he was, although he really had no wish to lose her. Davina might be more voluptuous and beautiful, but Cathie would make a much better wife, being quite a domestic goddess. She could also offer other benefits, not least sufficient cash to buy them a house, even if he did have to suffer that child in order to gain possession of it.

  The door opened and Steve Allenby came out to gaze after her departing figure, looking strangely sad and upset. But if this stupid man was getting in his way, he needed to be dealt with. He’d give that some thought. Right now, he had more urgent matters on his mind.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be a bridesmaid at my wedding?’ Alex asked Davina, giving a throaty chuckle.

  She stared at him in angry frustration, not quite able to take in what he was saying. ‘What are you talking about? It’s true that Cathie did ask me to be her bridesmaid, when we were once having a snack at the market café, but that was ages ago before you’d even arrived home. You were still engaged then. Why would she ask me now as there’s to be no wedding, and you’re a free man?’ She rolled over to look at him more closely, noticing how he was avoiding her gaze, although there was generally nothing Alex liked more than to study and explore her nakedness.

  They’d spent the night together at the Midland Hotel, one of Alex’s favourite places to dine, being rather grand and stylish, and now also for more intimate reasons. They only occasionally called at the Pack Horse these days, which pleased her greatly, as Davina much preferred making love in a warm bed rather than on a freezing cold bench by the canal. Who wouldn’t, for goodness sake?

  Rising from the bed Alex reached for his trousers and began to quickly dress. ‘As a matter of fact I was just about to tell you that Cathie and I have made up. The wedding is to go ahead, after all. So I suppose by rights this will be our final get-together, at least for a while.’

  The silence following this remark went on for what to Davina felt like a lifetime. Sitting up quite straight with her breasts erect, she stared at him. ‘Are you saying that you’re choosing her instead of me?’

  ‘Cathie and I have been engaged for years. A promise is a promise, as I’ve explained before.’

  ‘Even though you prefer sleeping with me, and therefore love me more?’

  ‘As I say, that will have to stop, at least for now. Maybe we can get together again some time in the future, once all the wedding celebrations are over.’

  ‘So you see me as mistress material, not as a future wife,’ she snapped, seeing the colour rise up his throat as he quickly buttoned his shirt. Then reaching for his tie, he gave a harsh little laugh.

  ‘What was your job, exactly, before you came to Castlefield, or even met me in London? Did it involve keeping other servicemen happy? That was the impression I got, particularly as you used to require some payment for the time we spent together, certainly at first.’

  Fury ricocheted through her. ‘How dare you! Are you accusing me of being a whore?’

  ‘No, I believe you were a professional prostitute. Isn’t that true?’

  She grabbed hold of the pillow and flung it at him in fury, then put her face in her hands and burst into tears.

  His arms were around her in seconds. ‘Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to cause offence, really I didn’t. It doesn’t trouble me in the slightest if that was how you were once obliged to earn your living. We soldiers needed that kind of comfort. Besides, you are a gorgeous girl and I love you dearly, but …’

  ‘But obviously I’m not the kind of person you’d wish to marry,’ she sobbed. ‘Even though I’m carrying your child?’

  His arms dropped from her as he took a step back from the bed. ‘Dear God, that can’t be true. Didn’t I always make sure that I used proper protection?’

  ‘Which doesn’t always work, or maybe that time on the train you forgot. Anyway, I’m definitely pregnant. That being the case, I’m the one you must marry, not bloody Cathie.’

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  It was a glorious sunny afternoon and Cathie and Brenda were taking little Heather, now a lively toddler who was barely still for five minutes, out for a stroll in her pram. They’d gone along Liverpool Road, over Prince’s Bridge, under the railway arches and were now walking along East Ordsall Lane heading for Peel Park.

  ‘Have you seen Steve lately?’ Brenda asked.

  Cathie shook her head. ‘Not for ages. I confess that I regretted walking out on him before I’d even reached the end of the street, but decided I’d no wish to return and apologise. Steve may only have been showing concern out of friendship, but really had no right to make such an accusation. Alex would never do such a thing to me. Our marriage will be a happy one, and any difficulties we’re facing now are only as a result of the war.’

  Cathie felt in her heart that Alex loved her. He’d told her so a dozen times since he came home, and they’d been engaged for years. Surely just by the way he was so eager to make love to her proved the strength of his feelings, although she had managed to hold him back to a safe level.

  Brenda didn’t respond until they’d wheeled the pram through the gates into the park, a vista of glorious green lawns and pathways opening up before their eyes. ‘Even if Steve is wrong about Alex having an affair, he may have a point about not rushing into marriage too soon, Cathie, because of the long separation you’ve both endured. Many young wives at the rubber factory have lived to regret falling for the excitement of a hasty marriage, and are now discovering that their returning hero is not as they remembered, or had hoped for. Some of these ex-servicemen are suffering badly from nightmares or have become a bit violent.’

  ‘Alex is the kindest of men and not violent in any way.’ Even as she said these words she recalled how he’d attacked Steve, unleashing his temper in a fight. ‘But we aren’t rushing into anything,’ she protested, desperately pushing this worry aside. ‘You seem to be making the same point as Steve, and Alex’s mother, and might well be right. I would be sorry to postpone the wedding after all the years I’ve longed for Alex’s return, let alone the effort we’ve put into preparing for it. But in all honesty, Brenda, finding a job does feel far more urgent.’

  ‘I agree,’ her friend said, giving a wry grimace.

>   ‘Unfortunately, Alex still hasn’t found employment either so I’ve suggested that waiting a little longer to marry might be sensible in the circumstances, and surely wouldn’t do us any harm. It would also allow him time to settle back into civilian life, as well as for us both to save up a bit more money.’

  ‘And did he agree?’

  Cathie frowned a little as she struggled to remember whether he had or not. She rather thought he hadn’t, as money did seem to be an issue with him, but didn’t like to admit that to Brenda. She was seeing him that evening, so could surely persuade him to come round to her way of thinking. ‘I’m sure he will wait because he loves me and wants a good future for us.’

  Brenda fell silent as they walked over to the play area. ‘I hope you’re right, darling. War can change a man. Some women find that they themselves have changed, and are no longer in love with the husband they haven’t seen in years.’

  ‘That is most certainly not the case with Alex and me,’ Cathie retorted, not admitting to the sense of distance she sometimes felt between them even now, after all these months he’d been home. Admittedly, the misunderstanding over little Heather had not helped.

  ‘Some women were so lonely during the war that they did engage in little flings, often with Yanks, as Alex has accused you of doing. But then there was a huge ignorance about sexual matters.’

  ‘Oh, indeed, including my own,’ Cathie admitted with a chuckle as she sat little Heather in a baby swing. ‘Rona never did explain anything about sex or contraception. Whatever I’ve managed to learn over the years has come from chatting with you and other friends at school or work.’

  They were both laughing now, and even the baby joined in the fun, although thankfully due to the joy of the swing as she didn’t comprehend the joke.

  ‘I remember warnings that you could get pregnant just by sitting on a man’s lap,’ Brenda chuckled, ‘or climbing into a bath previously occupied by your brother or father. Even a French kiss was said to be dangerous.’

  ‘But then others claimed that the first time you had intercourse with a man, you couldn’t possibly get pregnant.’

  ‘I do so wish that was true,’ Brenda said, a hollow sound in her tone of voice now as she leaned against the frame of the swings.

  ‘Why do you say that?’

  ‘Don’t ask. It’s a long story with a heartbreaking end as I lost my husband as well as my child.’

  ‘Oh, Brenda, I had no idea.’ With her constant toing and froing she’d been fully aware that her old friend was suffering from family problems, but this was the first indication that she’d lost a child. ‘How dreadfully sad.’

  ‘Such is life. As I say, it’s a horror story best forgotten.’ She forced a smile back on to her round face. ‘Judging by the number of girls who suddenly go off to spend time with some unknown aunt, that has most definitely been proved to be a complete fantasy.’

  Listening to her friend with a growing sadness in heart at this small glimpse of her grief, Cathie made a private vow never to be so stupid. Nor did she believe Alex would cheat on her, despite what Steve might suspect, or her stupid mother’s obvious efforts to flirt with him. He was an attractive man and a brave soldier, so girls, even an older woman, might well fling themselves at him. Rona’s own passion for affairs was well known, but that didn’t mean Alex would engage in one with her. At least Cathie sincerely hoped so.

  Shaking her head in despair, she lifted a wriggling toddler out of the swing to let her run about on the grass, all too aware that her lack of trust in her own mother had built up over a lifetime. Maybe she should speak to Rona again to make sure she behaved properly.

  As they each played with the lively youngster as she ran round and round, Cathie remembered the key Brenda had sent her with the belated Christmas card, and fumbled in her pocket for it. ‘I forgot to return this,’ she said, holding it out to her.

  Her friend shook her head. ‘No keep it, just in case you ever need it. I have to go away again.’

  ‘Why would I? I’m to be married soon.’ Seeing the doubt in Brenda’s gaze, she said, ‘All right, I’ll be married before too long, and I accept that the question I must now face is should I ask Alex for assurance that he has indeed remained faithful while serving overseas.’

  ‘Would he give you an honest answer if you did?’ Brenda softly asked. ‘Or might he assume you are simply taking retaliation for the fact he accused you of an affair with Steve. After all, he did punch him pretty hard in that fight.’

  ‘Goodness, I hadn’t thought of that. I really have no wish to create any further argument between them. I hate disputes. And that’s the last thing I want when we should all be hoping for peace and happiness in life.’

  ‘Steve, too, will be feeling a bit hurt as a result of your quarrel. He was only thinking of your happiness, darling. Wouldn’t you miss him as a friend if you didn’t make up?’

  Cathie was surprised to feel a bleakness overwhelm her at such a prospect, although why would it matter if they didn’t? Steve Allenby had teased and played tricks on her for years, so why should she listen to his advice now? Maybe because it made a certain sense. ‘I suppose I would miss him, as an old friend, but he really had no right to say such things.’

  ‘So will you ask Alex about his fidelity, or not?’

  Cathie’s only reply to that difficult question was to run and pick up little Heather who was chasing a pigeon across the lawn, then suggest they buy an ice cream before visiting the art gallery.

  Alex was at the Co-op, where he asked to speak to the manager. ‘I’d like to apologise for that fracas the other week, which was entirely personal but did get a bit out of hand,’ he said, as he was shown into his office.

  ‘Steve is a good man, and an excellent worker.’ Mr Leeson frowned at him, looking most disapproving, which irritated Alex somewhat.

  Alex gave a wry smile. ‘Perhaps you’ve been fooled into thinking so. Were you aware that as a driver he allows spivs to help themselves to boxes of stuff from his delivery van?’

  ‘What? That can’t be true. Steven Allenby is as honest as the day is long.’

  ‘I’m afraid not. He’s in collusion with black marketeers. I witnessed such an event with my own eyes.’ The man’s expression, Alex noted with satisfaction, changed instantly.

  Leeson closed the office door and offered him a seat. ‘Tell me exactly what it was you saw.’

  ‘Gladly.’

  Alex proceeded to relate the incident of the delivery van pausing outside the post office, accusing Steve of being the driver and placing goods that belonged to the Co-op on the passenger seat, leaving the cab door open so they could be stolen. It was a complete fabrication, of course, the driver in question being someone entirely different. Nor did he reveal his own part in the operation or admit that he was the one who had robbed it of the two parcels left waiting for him. But the manager wouldn’t know that. Alex could see that Leeson was convinced by the tale, as his jaw had tightened and his eyes narrowed with fury.

  ‘Thank you for this information, Mr Ryman. Let’s keep it confidential between ourselves, shall we, while I look into the matter? I’ve no wish for the Co-op to lose its excellent reputation.’

  ‘You can be assured of my discretion.’ As he was politely shown out the door, Alex thought he could not have wished for a better result.

  Later, feeling rather pleased with himself, Alex sat with Davina on the bench by the canal, generally a quiet spot at this time of day, his mind racing as he compared the two women who occupied his life. He wondered which one he wanted the most, not easy to decide. Cathie was sweet natured and intelligent, and Davina stunningly beautiful and very sexy. Yet she was as poor as the proverbial church mouse, while Cathie had a stash of money tucked away that he fully intended to take control of one day. Once he was her husband he would have the power to do that. She would also be a much more caring wife. But what should he do about Davina?

  How on earth she’d fallen pregnant he couldn’t im
agine, when he’d always taken the proper precautions. Maybe she was right, and he’d been so desperate for sex when he met her on the train home that he’d forgotten to protect himself.

  But, as money was tight and difficult to come by in these post-war times, he had no intention of allowing her to spoil his plans.

  ‘Are you sure marriage is what you want, sweetheart? You never used to show any interest in a domestic life when first we met. You were very much a gadabout girl.’ She might claim to be a widow, but Alex had seen no proof of her ever having had a husband. When he’d first met Davina in a local pub close to the base in Salisbury, she’d been a young girl of eighteen, and the one to approach him. She’d asked if he was lonely, making it very clear by the way she’d smiled so seductively at him, what it was she was offering.

  ‘One who jumped on the bandwagon to find myself a fella?’ she cried. ‘Don’t insult me, Alex. I love you, and thought you loved me. And I’m pregnant, remember?’

  ‘I do have sufficient funds to pay for an abortion, should you prefer.’

  ‘Abortion is illegal.’

  ‘It does still happen though, if a person can afford to pay, which would surely be the answer.’

  ‘As you can see, I’m way beyond the point of that being possible. Time is running out as I’m nearly four months gone.’ Pouting beguilingly, she began to stroke him, as he so loved her to do. ‘But I’m still capable of a bit of loving, or are you saying that you no longer want me?’

  ‘No, of course not.’ He gasped as desire flushed through his loins at her touch. Dear God, what a temptress she was. How could he resist her? After quickly unbuttoning his flies, he whipped up her skirt and thrust himself inside her, satisfying his urges with lustful grunts and groans. There was something about the solitary terror of war that had made him need this sort of comfort more and more.

  Afterwards, as they snuggled up together on the bench, still kissing and caressing, Davina licked her lips enticingly as she gazed into his eyes. ‘If you have a bit of spare cash, I could do with some to buy myself one or two items for our coming wedding. Is that possible?’