Love Me to Death

by Sharlay

  I laugh and probably go red too.

  “Mom, you haven’t changed a bit,” Ned chuckles.

  “And you wouldn’t want me to. Now go and show Cole to his room and hurry back, we’ve got loads to catch up on. It was lovely meeting you, Cole.”

  “You too, Mrs. Waters.”

  “Oh dear, do call me Nora, you make me feel so old otherwise,” she giggles. She sounds just like Ned; I’m just hoping her giggling isn’t a result of flirting too. I smile at her as she looks at me and it’s the first time I realize how much Ned looks like her. She just looks like an older version with streaks of gray in her hair. At least, I get to see what Ned would have looked like one day. It gives me a tiny sense of peace.

  “My parents are a little old fashioned so you’ll be sleeping alone tonight, buddy,” she says as we step into the hall.

  “You make me sleep alone anyway.”

  “I let you in last night didn’t I?”

  “No, I forced my way in actually.”

  “Well it still happened, didn’t it?”

  “I suppose … after I did all the work.”

  “I feel like I’ve just walked in on an encrypted sex talk so excuse me while I disappear.” I turn my head and realize that the last sentence came from Eddie.

  “Dad! We are not talking about sex,” Ned says embarrassed.

  “Nothing to do with me, Pumpkin. You’re an adult now.”

  “Dad, it was not about sex.”

  “It really wasn’t,” I confirm.

  “Not. My. Business.” He laughs as he backs up into the kitchen leaving us alone. We look at each other and then burst out laughing.

  “I see where you get your personality from, after having met both of your parents.”

  “Good, then I can’t be blamed.”

  “That’s questionable.”

  “Whatever,” she says before pushing me through one of the doors in the hall. I step inside to find a double bed, two small nightstands, and a closet. “This is where you’ll be sleeping,” she announces. I look in the corner of the room and notice that my bag is already here.

  “Ah, tradition,” I say, pointing toward the bag. She looks at me in complete confusion. “Is this the room that all of your boyfriends sleep in?”

  “No, because you’re the first boyfriend that I’ve brought here.”

  “That is good to know because it also means I am the first boyfriend that has ever kissed you in your house,” I whisper.

  “What? You haven’t kissed me in—”

  I cut her off when my lips meet hers. I kiss her for a long moment before pulling away with a satisfied smile on my face.

  “You just love cutting off my sentences with your lips don’t you?”

  “Only the irrelevant ones. So, really I should be kissing you every time that you talk.” She goes to swat me with her hand but I’m getting used to this little move of hers. I catch her wrist in mine, pull her toward me, place a quick kiss on her lips before I say, “Now get out of my room before your dad castrates me for doing what I’m thinking about doing to you in that bed,” I say pointing toward my bed for the night.

  “Believe me, it’s not my dad you’ll have to worry about castrating you, Cole, it’s me.”

  “Your empty threats just turn me on, babe.”

  She rolls her eyes before walking to the door.

  “And I lied, you’re not the first boyfriend I’ve brought here or kissed in this house,” she says. “Joey Mills was.”

  “Who the hell is Joey Mills?” She ignores me and walks out the door laughing. That was not funny.

  Once I’ve sorted out my stuff, I head toward the kitchen where I can hear everyone else. And by sort out my stuff I mean push my bag into the back of the closet in my room.

  “At last, we’ve been trying to decide what to have for dinner tonight,” Nora says as I walk through the door.

  “Ok, how can I help?”

  “Well, I think a lasagna would be lovely but these two want a homemade chicken casserole, what would you like, Cole?” she asks.

  My eyes flick to Ned’s and she is giving me that look.

  “I think I’m going to have to go with the casserole because staying in Ned’s good graces is at the top of my ‘to-do’ list,” I chuckle.

  “Traitor,” Nora laughs.

  “Thanks, baby,” Ned says, walking over and giving me a quick kiss on the lips. Did Ned just kiss me first? Was that for her parents’ benefit? Who cares, Ned just kissed me first!

  “Right, here is a list of the ingredients and some other things we need. Cole, you go to the store with Eddie and don’t let him get distracted,” Nora warns.

  “I never get distracted, sweetheart. I just give extra attention to things you deem unnecessary.”

  “Ed Waters, get out of here before I refuse to feed you.”

  “Yes my love,” he chuckles before kissing her cheek.

  “Wait, your name is a mix of theirs,” I say pointing at Ned’s parents, “You never told me that.”

  “No, I didn’t but well done for figuring it out. Now, can you please go and get the food?” Ned says.

  “Oh dear, hungry Ned has risen we better get out of here,” I say to Eddie.

  “I’m with you there, lead the way, Son,” he chuckles as we run out of the house.

  “Ha ha funny,” I hear Ned say from behind us.

  I wait until Eddie unlocks the truck before I jump in.

  “Those Waters women are way too bossy for their own good,” he says as he gets in the truck.

  “Don’t I know it,” I mumble.

  “Belt up, Son. The store’s a thirty-five-minute ride away.”

  “Yes, sir,” I say putting on my seatbelt as instructed. “So is this where you grew up too?”

  “Yes, my parents had a little house about ten minutes from here. It’s a beautiful place.”

  “Yes, it is. I’m glad Ned brought me here.”

  “She seems quite taken by you.”

  “You think?” I ask curiously.

  “I see it in her eyes. Eyes don’t lie. I suppose you know about her situation?” I know that he’s talking about her health. The air feels thick.

  “Yeah, she’s been upfront from the beginning.”

  “That didn’t bother you?”

  “No, should it?”

  “Not many men are prepared to give their heart to a dying woman, Cole,” I hate those words.

  “Well, with all due respect I am not many men.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.”

  “And this has nothing to do with money, right?”

  I should be offended but I laugh.

  “Honestly, I had no idea who Ned was or how much money she had until she told me. In fact, I still don’t know how much money she has now that I come to think of it.”

  I hear Eddie chuckle from beside me.

  “I like your honesty.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I think Ned could do much worse for herself. I haven’t seen her smile that much in a while.”

  “Really?”

  “Mmm hmm. When you have all that money it’s sometimes hard to know who really cares. I believe that you care about my daughter.”

  “I do. I don’t quite know when it happened but I do,” I say truthfully.

  “Good, so where are your family from?”

  “California.”

  “You still live there or you in New York with Ned?”

  “I’ve been in New York for five years. My sister has been there for ten. Only my father lives in California now.” I try not to sound bitter when I mention him.

  “And your mother?”

  “She died, six years ago.”

  “That’s a damn shame but you seem like a good kid, so I’m going to guess that she raised you well.”

  “She did,” I smile. “She was the best. Ned reminds me a lot of her actually.”

  “Careful, Son, you know what they say don’t you?”

  I shake my h
ead. “What?”

  “That a man ends up marrying a woman just like his mother.”

  “That wouldn’t be a bad thing, she was perfect,” I say.

  “So is my Neddie.”

  I want to agree but saying it feels dangerous so I remain silent. I stay this way for the entire journey and Ed lets me.

  “We’re back!” Ed shouts as we walk through the front door. We head straight to the kitchen and lay everything out on the counter.

  “Great, now leave before you get in my way,” Nora teases. I smile before going to find Ned.

  I knock on the door that I believe is her room and wait until I hear her answer.

  “Come in,” she calls. I do. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe that you actually knocked.”

  “Only because we’re at your parents’ house and I’m on my best behavior.”

  “I thought as much.” She rolls her eyes.

  “What are you up to?” I ask as I look down at her sitting on her bed. Her room looks just like mine except the colors are brighter. She has her hair up in a messy bun. She is wearing a pair of gray yoga pants and a black tank top. She looks sexy. I wonder if these walls are soundproof.

  “I’m reading and I know what you’re thinking. Behave.”

  “What?” I say faking innocence before jumping onto the bed next to her. She rolls her eyes again and then goes back to reading her book. “Are the walls soundproof then?”

  “What?” Her eyes lift to my face.

  “You said that you knew what I was thinking. I was wondering how much your parents can hear through these walls.” I wink.

  “Everything and even if they couldn’t it still wouldn’t matter.”

  “Your constant rejection is really weighing down on my ego, you know.”

  “Good now can you hurry up so that I can get back to my book. What do you want?”

  “What are you reading?”

  “A romance book.”

  “Seriously? You read romance?”

  “Yes.”

  “I never had you down as a reader.”

  “Well, there are many things you don’t know about me, Mr. Cole.”

  “Apparently so.” I lean on my hand and lock eyes with her. “See, I believe that romance books are made to make us real men look bad. It’s impossible for us to live up to the crazy things your fictional book men do.”

  “Book boyfriends,” she corrects, “and I disagree.”

  I roll my eyes. “You would, you’re a woman. You’ve been reading these things for most of your life no doubt. Subconsciously you think that you should get nothing less than what you’re reading about.”

  “Actually, a lot of the characters I read about are pretty flawed,” she says, resting the book down between us.

  “How so?”

  “Well, they make a ton of mistakes for a start. And a lot of the time the heroine has to do a whole lot of forgiving just to get to the happily ever after.”

  She seems really passionate when she is speaking about this and it makes me want to know more.

  “Then why do you read them? Isn’t life flawed enough?”

  She laughs.

  “Reading is an escape but it’s not about completely detaching yourself from reality. I read because I can relate to the feelings and emotions of the characters. Their struggles and trials are as real as mine. It’s like forcing yourself to look at life through a magnifying glass and seeing that sometimes things are not as bad as you think. Sometimes they could be worse and sometimes you just need to look at them differently.”

  “Where’s the pleasure in that?”

  “The happily ever after,” she chuckles. “The books I read are like a rollercoaster ride. They are filled with conflicts, pain, and heartbreak but in the end, they give you something that life can’t always offer … a happily ever after.”

  “Interesting.”

  “Yes, it is. You should try reading one.”

  “Not sure it’s my thing, babe.”

  “How can life not be your thing, Cole?”

  “I don’t have a wise come back so I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear you.”

  “Wow, the amazing Brennan Cole has been rendered speechless. I never thought the day would come. Although I must say that it’s rather peaceful to have a break from that big mout—”

  She’s cut off as my hand creeps to her side and I begin tickling her mercilessly. She falls onto her back and opens her mouth wide, letting out the loudest laugh I have ever heard from her.

  “Ah, have I discovered a weakness of the Neddie Waters.” She can’t answer since she is in a fit of hysterical laughter and can barely breathe. Once I’m satisfied that she has suffered enough, I slow my hand movements until I stop moving completely. I smile down as I watch her gasping for air.

  “You are an evil little man,” she says trying to give me an angry look but failing miserably.

  “I already told you, there is nothing little about me,” I smirk.

  “Really? Is your brain included in that?”

  I lift my hand in the air threatening a part two of the tickling war we just started.

  “No,” she warns with a big smile on her face. I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman as beautiful as her. I rest my hand on her side and just stare down at her, admiring every curve and line that forms her face. Her breathing has slowly calmed down and now she is silently staring back up at me. Our eyes are locked and we are not looking anywhere else. I don’t care if she feels uncomfortable under my gaze, I need this moment. I need to remember this and store it because it’s beautiful.

  I lift my hand to her face and gently smooth a strand of hair behind her ear.

  “What does it feel like?” I whisper. I look down and I know she understands what I mean. She takes a deep breath and I’m not even sure if she’s blinked once since we began staring at one another.

  “It’s the worst and best feeling in the world.” She breathes. I stare down at her in confusion. I never expected her to describe dying as the worst and best feeling in the world. How is that possible?

  “It’s the best feeling because I know. There’s no mystery or nasty surprise. I’ve been given the chance to do everything that I would have never thought of doing. I have forgiven people I probably never would have forgiven. I’ve made contact with people that I never talk to. And I’m living in a way I’ve never lived before. When you find out you’re dying you suddenly realize how important life is. And you want to grab it and live the hell out of it before it slips away. It may seem unfair that I’m dying young but, at least, I know it’s coming. I’m thankful for that.”

  I nod in understanding but the idea of Ned really dying leaves me in silence.

  “The worst feeling is the worrying. Not about me but about everyone I love. Death hurts and it changes people.” I nod thinking about my dad. “It stops people from doing the things they want to do and it brings a sense of misery where there should be joy.”

  “How should people feel?” I whisper.

  “Happy. I want people to be happy knowing that they were a part of my life. My life has been beautiful despite the ups and downs and that’s what I want people to remember. I want them to know that they should keep living. They should enjoy every second of life and never waste it because some people don’t get the warning that I’ve been blessed with. I never wanted misery for anyone in life, so why would I want it for them in death. There will be life after me and if everyone is smart it’ll be even better than the life they had with me because my death should remind everyone how important it is to live. Because since I found out that I’m going to die all I’ve wanted to do is live and I can’t help but wonder what the hell took me so long.” She chuckles at the end and I smile. This woman is amazing. Why did it take me so long to find her?

  “I know you miss your mom, Cole but she was happy in those last moments. I promise you that being given the chance to write that letter, to leave something behind would have given her the biggest sense of peac
e. Believe that.”

  “I know,” I whisper before tucking my head into her neck and breathing in her scent. I’ll miss this scent. “I’ll miss you,” I say into her neck.

  I feel her hand stroke the back of my head, leisurely playing with the locks of my hair. “I know. I’ll miss you too,” she whispers.

  “Good because I don’t care how great heaven is you aren’t going to find anyone like me up there,” I joke.

  “I’m certain of that,” she laughs. “Let’s just hope you make it in,” she chuckles.

  “Oh, that calls for part two! Neddie Waters that mouth of yours will always get you into trouble. In this life and the next,” I say before launching a second tickling attack on her. When the sound of her laughter fills the air a peace comes over me that lets me know that everything is going to be all right. For now anyway.

  After tickling Ned into submission, we finally come out of her room and join her parents in the kitchen. I wonder what they must have thought was going on in there. Let me tell you this … Ned is not a quiet woman. That thought alone sends a shiver through my entire body and I try to push away thoughts that I know I shouldn’t be thinking right now.

  “So, what do you think of our little town, Cole?” Ed asks as we all tuck into the delicious chicken casserole Ned’s mom has made.

  “Honestly, I really like it. I never imagined Ned growing up somewhere so quiet and peaceful, though. There’s nothing about her that gives it away.”

  “You better be careful,” Ned warns with a playful glint in her eyes.

  “Yes, baby,” I tease.

  “Yeah, careful Cole, being bossy is a common trait with these Waters women.” Ed laughs.

  “Yeah, I’m slowly starting to discover how dangerous she can really be.”

  “And there’s more where that came from,” Ned adds.

  Nora is sitting back silently watching everyone. I don’t make a big deal of looking at her but I know that she just wiped a tear from her cheek. I know this has got to be hard for her not knowing whether or not this will be the last time she sees Ned. I know what it’s like to lose a parent but I can’t begin to imagine the pain of losing a child. It just seems like something that shouldn’t happen.