Nolan

by Catherine Lievens

  Casey gave Nolan a soft smile. “I love this pride, but you’re my mate. If we do end up together, and I hope we will, I’ll follow you anywhere.”

  Nolan couldn’t understand why someone he didn’t even know would do something like that. Then again, when he thought about it, he didn’t exactly dislike the idea of living here with Casey…no, no, focus!

  “So, why don’t you want to mate? Is it because it’s me? I mean, maybe you don’t like me or you’d have preferred another type of man—” Casey was so cute when he was worried like that, but Nolan didn’t like the fact that he thought he wasn’t good enough.

  “No, no, it’s not you. I couldn’t have wished for a sexier mate. Come on, look at you.” Nolan gestured to Casey’s body. “You’re perfect, muscled and toned but not so much that I would fear that you would crush me if you tried to hug me. The reason I don’t want to mate is because I would have to have sex.”

  “Uh?”

  Nolan was going to have to explain it better. “I don’t want to mate you because then you’ll want to have sex with me.”

  “I understood it the first time you said it, Nolan. I just don’t get why that should be a problem.”

  “I don’t want to have sex.”

  “Are you…you’re a virgin?” The horrified look on Casey’s face was priceless. It made Nolan want to laugh. Weren’t all the alpha type men supposed to like the fact that they would be the one and only to make love to their mate and everything?

  “No, I just don’t like sex. I told you, I’m broken.” Nolan had never understood what was so special about sex. It was sweaty and dirty, and for what? No fireworks, no exploding like in the romance novels he read. He had tried, but he really didn’t see the appeal, so he had stopped doing it.

  Casey made a shocked noise, his mouth gapping. “You don’t like sex?”

  “Nope.”

  “Oh god, aren’t I lucky. I find myself a hot little mate, just looking at him makes me hard enough to pound nails, and he doesn’t like sex,” Casey mumbled.

  “You think I’m hot?” Okay, so maybe Nolan was fishing for compliments, but he liked the fact that this man thought he was hot. It left a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. But why did he like it? It’s not like I want him, right?

  “Have you looked at yourself in a mirror?”

  “Not recently,” Nolan answered with a hiss. Understanding appeared on Casey’s face.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but yeah, I think you’re hot. Can you…can you tell me why you don’t like sex?”

  “I never found it interesting. I tried, more than once, but I don’t see the appeal. It’s not even pleasurable.”

  “Have you ever had an orgasm?”

  “Only when I…you know.” Nolan blushed. Did Casey want him to spell it out?

  “When you masturbate?”

  Could this situation be more embarrassing? Maybe, if Nolan had invited his mother to assist. “Yes,” he whispered, as if the tone of his voice could do something to embarrass him more. “But even then it’s not anything I can’t do without. It’s nice, but that’s it.”

  “Nice, uh?” Nolan nodded. “Is that the last reason you have against mating me?”

  “I guess.”

  “Okay. I want to try something with you, if that’s okay.”

  “What?”

  “Just tell me I can touch you, and I’ll show you.”

  What was he going to do? Nolan wasn’t sure he wanted Casey to touch him. What if he did, and Nolan didn’t feel anything? Wait, what if he did and Nolan did feel something? He was beginning to panic when he felt Casey’s hand on his own.

  “Relax. I won’t do anything you don’t want to, and if you don’t like it, just tell me to stop, okay?”

  Nolan slowly nodded. One way or the other, he had to know. His cat had decided that he liked Casey, and for the first time Nolan felt as if something could really happen. He wasn’t going to chicken out.

  His heart beat faster as he closed his eyes, his palms sweating. He couldn’t do it! Just as he was about to stop Casey from doing whatever he had in mind, Nolan felt a feather-light touch on his lips. He froze, unsure about what to do and above all unsure of what he was feeling, but before he could start panicking again, the touch become more insistent and he realized those were Casey’s lips.

  Casey didn’t try anything that would have made Nolan uncomfortable, and right then and there Nolan lost a bit of his heart to his mate. The touch was tentative, giving Nolan all the time he needed to step back if he wanted to. When he stayed there, Casey’s lips settled over his. He stroked them on Nolan’s, back and forth, and Nolan gasped.

  It wasn’t the first time someone kissed him, but it was the first time his stomach reacted like this. It felt as if an entire flock of birds was moving in there, making his heart beat even faster, and Nolan was puzzled by the feeling until he realized he liked the kiss. Maybe it was because it was Casey, or maybe because it was his mate, but this kiss felt special.

  A tongue ghosted over Nolan’s lower lip and he just couldn’t stop himself. Blindly reaching in front of him, he grabbed Casey’s shoulders and tugged until the man was practically on top of him as he reclined on the couch. He could feel every ridge, every plane of his mate’s body, and his cock sprang up, shocking the hell out of him. He didn’t usually get an erection from only a kiss, but Casey seemed to be special, and Nolan was going to get his fill of his first real sexual experience!

  Casey tried to get away but Nolan wasn’t having any of that. He acted on instinct, taking advantage of his mate’s struggle to slip his tongue into Casey’s mouth and stroking muscle, teeth and gums. Casey resisted for only a few seconds before giving in and stroking back, the kiss hot and heavy.

  Nolan couldn’t resist grinding up against Casey’s crotch, sighing in delight when he encountered the ridge of his mate’s hard cock. He obviously wasn’t the only one affected by the meeting of their lips. He wasn’t sure he was ready for more, though. After living so many years looking at sex like something he wanted to avoid, Nolan knew he couldn’t compare to Casey’s previous lovers. More importantly, he needed time to wrap his head around the mate thing and to deal with the aftermath of his kidnapping and the time he had spent in a cage. The only problem was that his body seemed to have acquired a will of his own and he couldn’t stop it from wanting more of Casey, so he wrapped his arms around his mate’s waist and held on for the ride, wondering how far it would take him.

  * * * *

  Casey wasn’t sure what was going on. He had decided to try and kiss Nolan, but he hadn’t thought it would feel this…this good. He had thought that Nolan would stop him after the first time their lips had touched, but he had stayed still, and Casey had pushed a little bit more. He had fully intended to stop with a chaste kiss, though, but Nolan had had other ideas. The first touch of Nolan’s tongue to his had shocked the hell out of Casey, but he hadn’t had the time to think too much about the implications. Nolan had grabbed him, plastering their bodies together on the couch, and Casey could feel the hard erection poking at him from under Nolan’s sweats. It seemed that Nolan’s little sex problem didn’t exist with Casey.

  His mate’s flavor had exploded on his tongue, sweet and spicy, and Casey couldn’t seem to get enough of it. However, he knew the fact that Nolan responded so well to his touch didn’t mean everything was suddenly perfect between them and with the rest of the world. He knew they had to stop before things got out of hand and they did something one of them would regret.

  It took a good amount of self-control to slow the kiss, but Casey couldn’t leave his mate’s lips without a few last pecks. He leaned his forehead on Nolan’s, giving them both the time to slow their breathing and to come back to reality before they started talking about what had happened between them.

  Nolan seemed to finally realize the position in which they were, sprawled on the couch, with Casey on top, and he struggled to sit back
up. Casey couldn’t help but feel a twinge of hurt that his mate looked so eager to get away from him, but rationally he could understand it. They didn’t know each other, and even Casey wanted to wait a little bit before mating Nolan, so it wasn’t a surprise that Nolan would want to put distance between them, given what he’d had to live through.

  “Umm…” Casey had to clear his throat before speaking. “So, how did it go?” He had felt Nolan’s erection against his but he wasn’t going to assume anything.

  “I want to talk to my mom.” That wasn’t what Casey had expected, but he didn’t want to push. Maybe Nolan wanted to talk to his mother before talking to him. God knew Casey wished he could still talk to his mother.

  “Oh, sure. You can use the phone on that shelf if you want to.”

  Nolan seemed to hesitate, but he stayed on the couch. “I’m sorry, Casey.”

  “For what?”

  “I don’t know how to deal with this. God, I’m eighty-two years old, and that kiss is the nearest I ever came to pleasurable sex—heck, to awesome sex, if the kiss is an indicator! Yet the first thing I do after you kiss me is tell you I want to talk with my mother.” Nolan shook his head, defeat in his eyes. “I’m sorry you had to be saddled with my problems.”

  Nolan had seemed so cocky and sure of himself until this point, but now he was letting Casey see the vulnerable part of him. “I’m not sorry. I know we have issues to work on, but if both of us are willing to do it, I know we’ll be fine in the end.”

  “You think?” Nolan looked up and Casey could see hope in his eyes, warring with embarrassment and worry.

  “I’m sure of it.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Nolan’s forehead, careful to avoid contact between the rest of their bodies. He would let Nolan set the pace when he was ready.

  “I told you I wanted to call my mom because I want to ask her if she knows something about this…this situation. I don’t know much about our shifter type, since cats live in families and not in prides, and I’ve never talked to anyone about my sexual problems. It’s not something you can ask over meatloaf.” Nolan smiled softly, and Casey knew the little man had him already wrapped around his finger. He would give anything to make Nolan happy.

  “Call your mom, then. Besides our mating, I’m sure you have so much to talk about with her, and she’ll be happy to know you’re okay.” Casey stood up. “I’ll just go downstairs. When you’re done, come and look for me if you want to.”

  “Can I…can I have another kiss before you go?”

  Casey couldn’t help but smile. “You never have to ask for a kiss, Nolan. Just take it.” He waited for Nolan to reach him and watched as his mate stood on tiptoe, his hands on Casey’s shoulders for balance. Leaning down, he let Nolan brush their lips together, once, twice, before he decided to take a chance. Casey caught Nolan’s lower lip between his teeth when the cat came back for a third time. Biting lightly, he was rewarded by a low moan coming from Nolan’s throat. Casey licked the sting away before laying his lips on Nolan’s one last time and putting some distance between them.

  “I’ll see you later, okay?”

  Nolan seemed a little bewildered, and his reddened kissed lips looked so good on him. It was hard for Casey to turn around and step outside, but he knew his mate needed some time alone, so he went down to try and find Derick. The wolf was still in the kitchen, talking with Keenan.

  “How did it go?”

  “We’re…working on it.”

  “See, I told you. Not everyone mates right away. In fact I bet that nowadays most shifters prefer to wait a bit.” Derick bit in his apple.

  “Hey, is your mate going home or staying here?” Keenan asked.

  “Nolan will be staying here for a while, at least a few days. Dominic wants to talk to him about the lab he was in and stuff like that.”

  Derick shook his head. “I don’t get them. We’ve never done anything to hurt humans, why do they do this to us?”

  Casey had more than one idea. “Wealth, power, fear of the unknown, take your pick. Most of them don’t see us as human since we have an animal form.”

  “That’s so stupid! Some of the shifters I’ve met—” Keenan stopped talking without ending the sentence, a sign that he was seeing something that disturbed him. Turning around, Casey saw a small guy with pointed ears standing at the kitchen door and immediately identified him as Finn, Bryce’s mate.

  “I…I was looking for Jamie.”

  Casey knew the Nix was a friend of Jamie’s, Keenan’s brother, but since the situation between Finn, Bryce and Keenan was tense to say the least, it was the first time he’d actually seen Finn inside the mansion.

  Keenan turned around and started to talk to Derick as if the Nix wasn’t there. Casey couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy. It wasn’t his fault Bryce had been in a relationship with Keenan before they found out about Finn, but still, Casey couldn’t blame Keenan for reacting like that. He was trying to put some distance between the three of them and to keep his heart from breaking even more, and Bryce wasn’t making things easy for them. Still, Casey didn’t like the way a lot of the pride members treated Finn, so he got up and shot an apologetic smile at Keenan before gesturing to Finn. “Come on, I’ll help you find him.”

  “Thank you.” Finn’s voice was soft. “You’re the first person here who doesn’t treat me as if this whole mess is my fault.”

  “I don’t think it’s your fault. Hell, it’s no one’s fault, but I know the three of you are trying to get past it. Give Keenan a little more time. I can’t tell you everything is going to be fine, but once Bryce gets his head out of his ass it will become easier.”

  “I don’t know…it’s already been months. What if he decides he will never want me?”

  Casey sighed. He didn’t really know Finn, but he wanted to help. “He’ll come around. I’ve known him for a while and I know he’s a good guy. He just has to get over Keenan and realize what Fate has given him.” He patted Finn’s shoulder. “Here we are. If you need to talk or anything else, just look for me, okay?” Casey knew it couldn’t be easy to talk about this with Jamie, since he was Keenan’s brother.

  He was rewarded by a small smile on Finn’s lips. “Okay. Thank you.”

  Casey left the Nix behind, hoping the situation with Nolan would be easier to solve than the one these three men had on their hands right now.

  * * * *

  Nolan watched as Casey closed the door behind him. God, he was so confused. Only yesterday there wasn’t anything he wanted more than to go home, and now…Casey was worming his way into Nolan’s heart already, and Nolan wasn’t sure he wanted to be without him.

  Grabbing the phone, Nolan dialed his home number and waited for someone to answer.

  “Hello?” Was it Christy or Alicia? Nolan could never tell.

  “It’s Nolan.” He had to move the phone away when his sister shrieked.

  “Mom! Mom! It’s Nolan!” Nolan could hear other people talking and he wondered which one of his many brothers and sisters were home right now, and if Alicia had brought his nephews, too. If it had been her on the phone, of course. “Nolan!”

  A sob escaped Nolan’s lips. “Mom!” He couldn’t believe he was really talking with her. During the dark hours he had passed in the lab, he had slowly convinced himself that he would never see his family again, and now he could feel a knot unraveling from his chest.

  “Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?” Nolan could hear his brothers and sisters asking the same things to his mom, and it made him want to laugh. As hard as it was to live all together, he loved all his siblings—all twelve of them, even if they came from three different litters.

  “Mom, tell them I’m okay and I’m safe for now. You can tell them the details after I talk with you, okay?”

  “Of course honey.” Nolan heard his mother talking and everyone talking back, but she shooed them away and after a few minutes he heard her coming back on the phone.
“Dad is in the other room. He’s taking the other phone.”

  “Nolan? How are you, son? Can I come and pick you up?” Nolan’s dad’s voice nearly made him cry.

  “I’m fine. I’m with friends.”

  “Nolan, what happened? We found your car up in the mountains but we couldn’t find you, and we smelled humans.”

  “I was captured, mom. They took me in a laboratory and they…they experimented on me.” Nolan couldn’t stop the tears streaming from his eyes. He had never cried in the lab or even after, and hearing his parents had opened the barrier he had put on his feelings.

  With his mother cooing in his ear, Nolan told them everything, how he had been captured, what they had done to him and how he had escaped.

  “Honey, tell us where you are and we’ll come and get you.”

  “I’m…I’m with friends, I told you. A lady found me in the streets and she brought me home. She didn’t know I’m a shifter and I ended up in a pride. The Alpha is a lion, and they have tigers, and humans, and—”

  “Did they hurt you?” Nolan’s dad growled. Not that the small domestic cat he was could do anything against a lion, but it was nice to think his dad would try.

  “No, no! They gave me clothes and food. This pride is…different. They don’t even have problems with me being gay.” Or at least the Alpha didn’t seem to mind that he and Casey were mates. His mom didn’t exactly sound convinced, but at least she wasn’t already climbing in her car to come and rescue him. That would have given a blow to his manhood card. “Mom, I…I wanted to ask you something.”

  “Anything, honey.”

  “You know I never had many boyfriends, right?”

  “Yes.”

  Maybe Nolan should have waited for his dad to hang up, but he knew very well how stubborn the man was. There was no way he was stepping away if his son had a problem, no matter what it was.

  “I…” How did he say this? Talking to his mother about sex was hard! Not to mention embarrassing. “Well, the reason for that is because the men I was with wanted to have sex, but I didn’t like it, so they usually dumped me.”