Full Tilt Duet Box Set

by Emma Scott

  I took shelter against Theo’s strong body as my heart plummeted to my knees.

  Daddy…

  Tears sprung to my eyes as I turned around. My father looked much the same as he had when Jonah and I had spied him from across the street. Tall, a little stooped, with a protruding belly on a thin frame and a full head of silver hair. His eyes were the same blue as mine. They fixed on me, then Theo, widening in shock for only a moment. Jim Dawson was never one to get caught off guard. His put his expression in neutral and crossed his arms over his button down shirt.

  “Hi, Daddy,” I said, my voice a breathy flutter. “It’s good to see you.”

  “Sure,” he said, as if I’d asked a question. He turned his icy stare to Theo. “Who’s this?”

  Again, Theo didn’t extend his hand, his stare hard. “Theo Fletcher,” he said. “I’m Kacey’s boyfriend.” He made boyfriend sound like a warning.

  I mustered my courage again. “Can we sit down, Daddy? There’s something we’d like to tell both of you.”

  “You want money?” my father said. “Because I can tell you right now—”

  “We don’t want money,” I said. “Please, Daddy. It’s been seven years. Can we just sit and talk for a minute?”

  My father pondered this and I searched his face for any sign of warmth or affection, regret or guilt. But if he felt anything at all besides cold disdain, he kept it locked tight.

  “Fine,” he said finally. “But it can’t be long. I have work to do.”

  Like a hostess at the world’s most awkward dinner party, my mother led us to the living room. My dad took the couch, sitting right in the middle, precluding anyone from sitting beside him. That left only two high-backed chairs for the remaining three of us.

  “Oh,” Mom said, glancing around, almost panicked. “I’ll get a chair from the dining room…”

  “I’ll stand,” Theo said, and took up a position behind my chair, arms crossed, like a sentry or bodyguard. My mother sat down, folding her hands tightly in her lap. My father sat leaning back, his hands resting on his thighs, his chin drawn back and mouth pulled down, waiting.

  The moment unfurled before me. Probably my last chance for any hope of reconciliation. Behind me, Theo shifted, reminding me he was there, that he would always be there for me. I sucked in a breath.

  “A lot has happened over these last years, since we last saw each other. And I’m not going to lie, I had some really rough times. Times when I needed you. Both of you.”

  My mother sat perfectly still but her eyes closed for a moment, as if pained.

  But my father pursed his lips, seemed to harden further right before my eyes. “You should’ve thought about that before you broke the rules of the house,” he said.

  Theo’s hand touched my back. I swallowed hard and said, “I think, Daddy, I’ve paid for that mistake a thousand times over.”

  Those weeks of being homeless after Chett ditched me came back. The months and years of scraping by with Lola. Then the blurry, alcohol haze of countless small shows we played with Rapid Confession, trying to get a leg up. Throwing all that in his face would get me nowhere. If we had a chance, it was this moment, right now.

  “I’ve moved past all that,” I said. “I learned to stand on my own two feet. I have a successful career as a musician. Not with a band, but on my own. And Theo…” I raised my hand and he slipped his into it. “Theo’s a tattoo artist and owns his own business. We’re going to live in Las Vegas. And we’re starting a family.”

  My mother’s head shot up and she gasped. “You’re going to have a baby?”

  Tears sprung to my eyes at the words. They suffused me with joy every time I heard them spoken aloud. Joy that could spill into this living room, flood this house and break down the walls. It could. It had to. How could there still be animosity or regret in the face of a child on the way?

  “Yeah, Mom,” I said. My hand tightened around Theo’s. “We’re going to have a baby, and that’s why I’m here. I want… We want you to be a part of our lives. And this baby’s life. This is your grandchild. I don’t care about anything that’s come before. I want to start over, okay? A new start as a family.”

  Tears filled my mother’s eyes and she started to nod. Emotion rose up in my chest and throat as she leaned forward in her chair, her hand over her heart. Hope lighting her eyes in a way I’d never seen before.

  “Oh, Cassie,” she whispered.

  Her words floated in the still air, like bubbles.

  And my father popped them one by one.

  “A musician and a tattooist,” he said. “And you think these are good, steady careers by which to raise a child?”

  “I’m signed with a label, Daddy,” I said slowly, carefully, holding on to the happiness. “I’m not out playing little clubs for $50 a pop. Not anymore. And Teddy is an artist. He’s been featured in—”

  “The music industry is full of drugs,” my father said with a wave of his hand. “And criminals get tattoos. That’s a fact. You want to bring those kinds of elements around your child?”

  “It’s not like that—”

  “You know what I see?” My father asked. “I see nothing’s changed. Not one damn thing. You’ve been acting the rebel your whole life. Playing a rock star, fooling around with the same kinds of men.”

  “That’s not true. Teddy is—”

  “And now you come here, telling me you got knocked up by a tattooed deviant,” he gestured to Theo, “and I’m supposed to be overjoyed about this?”

  I reeled as if I’d been slapped. Theo made a low noise in his chest. The heat of his rising anger radiated in the fingers clenching mine. I took hold of it and for the first time in my life, I hit back.

  “Apologize,” I said in a low voice I hardly recognized.

  My father blinked. “Are you speaking to me?”

  “You better goddamn apologize,” I said, my voice rising. “A deviant? He’s twice the man you are. You’re the deviant. You’re a heartless son of a bitch who kicked a seventeen-year girl out of the house because you only see what you want to see. If things don’t look right, if people don’t look right, you get rid of them. But I’m still here, Dad. I’m right here. I’m right…here.”

  My father stared a moment, then rose off the couch. “This visit is over.”

  I shot to my feet. “What is wrong with you?” I cried. “Why are you like this? What did I ever do to you?” I turned to my mother, crying now. “And you… Why are you just sitting there, Mom? Say something.”

  She quailed, her eyes darting between my father and me.

  “Say something,” I cried. Theo move to stand behind me as I looked from one parent to the other.

  “Tell me to leave again, Dad,” I said. “Go ahead. You’ll never see me again, I promise, but I want to hear you say it.”

  My father held my eyes for a moment and I stared back, unflinching.

  Waiting.

  Hoping…

  Finally, he shook his head, muttered something under his breath and walked out.

  I exhaled, staring at the empty space where he’d been.

  “All right then,” I said. My head swiveled numbly to my mother. “Goodbye, Mom,” I said, my voice a whisper.

  Calmly, with Theo’s arm around me, I walked out of my childhood home for the last time.

  Theo

  I made it as far as the front porch.

  “Fuck this,” I muttered, turning back around to push open the front door. Kacey’s mother gave a little cry as I stormed past her down the last part of the house I saw Kacey’s bastard of a father walk down. I spied him in a chair in what looked like a den. I shoved the door open so hard, it slammed against the wall and bounced back.

  Kacey’s father sprang out of his chair. “I’ll call the police.”

  “I bet you would,” I said. My blood pounded in my ears and adrenaline coursed through my veins like liquid fire. “You would call the cops on your own daughter.”

  Her father shook his
head, as if I were telling him a story he’d heard a hundred times before. “Young man, get out of my house. I don’t have the time or inclination for this nonsense.”

  “Nonsense,” I said. “Your only daughter’s happiness is nonsense to you.” I shook my head. “You have no idea what you’re doing. What you’re throwing away. And the truly insane part is she loves you. She’s here. She’s trying and you don’t give a shit.”

  Kacey’s father stared back, unflinching. “Are you done?”

  “No, I’m not,” I said. “I’m going to marry her. She’ll have a wedding you won’t see. Someone else is going to walk her down the aisle because you’ve got your head shoved too far up your ass to do it yourself. We’re going to have a child you’ll never meet, and we’ll have a life you’ll never be a part of because you chose not to.

  “But fuck it. She doesn’t need you. She didn’t come here to beg for your shitty kind of love. I’ll take care of her. You don’t have to do a goddamn thing, not that you ever did. I’ll love her enough. I’ll love her enough she’ll never want for it. I’ll spend my entire life loving her and making her happy. And she will be happy. Maybe she has to live with the fact you’re a cold-blooded son of a bitch, but at least her conscience is clear. Can’t say the same for you.”

  I spun around and nearly bumped into Kacey’s mother, her face stricken, her hands at her throat. I wanted to spit fire at her too, but she looked like she would fall over at the slightest push. I shook my head, disgusted at her silence, and strode out.

  Kacey was waiting for me on the front stoop.

  “I’ve never heard anyone tell my dad he has his head shoved up his ass before.”

  I stopped short.

  “The den window leads off the side of the house,” she said. “I heard everything. But you kept your promise and didn’t punch him in the face.”

  “Barely.” I helped her to her feet. “I’m sorry, Kace. It probably won’t do any good but I had to tell him.”

  “Maybe not, but it was everything I needed to hear, or else I was going to lose it, right here on the porch.” She ringed her arms around my neck. “Everything I needed to hear.”

  Oh shit.

  She searched my eyes a minute, then tucked her head under my chin as she’d done when we’d danced at Oscar and Dena’s wedding. “Are you proposing to me, Teddy?”

  My old instincts rose in me, warning me to shut the hell up, to mutter away how I felt. Instead, I told her the truth.

  “Not here, not after that. But one day…I will. Because I want nothing more on this fucking earth than for you to be my wife.”

  “You want to marry me.” She sighed, and I felt the tension melt out of her shoulders.

  “I want to marry you,” I whispered against her head.

  “But this isn’t a proposal,” she said against my chest.

  “Definitely not.”

  “Then I’m not saying yes.” She raised her head to look at me, the blue of her eyes shining like the purest glass. “Definitely not…” She brushed her lips to mine. “…Saying yes.”

  We walked down to the curb, and I opened the passenger door of the rental car for her. As I shut it and turned, my eye caught Kacey’s mom standing at the front window. She raised her hand as if to wave, but only rested her fingers on the panes, her gaze trained on the car.

  She caught me staring, withdrew her hand as if the glass burned her and let the curtain fall across the glass.

  Kacey

  “So let me get this straight,” Dena said. “We have a wedding and a baby shower to plan?”

  “Teddy did not propose to me,” I said, forking a bite of salad. We sat in the crowded mall, in the food court after an afternoon of house-hunting. “He told my dad he was going to marry me and I overheard.”

  Dena shot me a sly look. “His version of asking your dad for your hand in marriage.”

  I nodded, laughter welling up in me. “Exactly. Theo asked for my hand by telling my dad he had his head up his ass.”

  “He’s such a traditionalist.”

  “Stop,” I managed, waving my hands. “My cheeks hurt.” I sucked in deep breaths and wiped my eyes. “Oh my God, it was so horrible it’s actually funny.”

  Dena’s eyes grew soft. “Are you okay?”

  “Not really. But I can laugh about it, anyway.” I gave my head a shake. “It’s done. They’re done with me, but at least I can say I tried.”

  “You did,” Dena said. “You should be proud of yourself.”

  I felt the laughter bubble up again. “I’m more proud of Teddy for not burning their house down.”

  Dena bent over her plate as we both dissolved into laughter, the kind that keeps going long after you remember what you were laughing for.

  “Oh shit,” I said, wiping my eyes. “Okay, belly laughing made me hungry. Either that or my first real craving just hit.” I nodded at the storefront at the end of the food court. “If I don’t have a Cinnabon right this minute, someone’s going to get hurt.”

  “I don’t think that’s a pregnancy craving, so much as a mall craving,” Dena said. “They pipe the smell of their frosting into the air, I swear.”

  One sticky, gooey cinnamon roll later, Dena and I returned to her car in the outdoor parking lot.

  “Do you want to—” My words choked off in a small cry as a blinding, razor-sharp pain exploded in my lower belly. A stab through my left side, stealing my breath and bending me over. The pain spread like wildfire around my middle, down my thigh, and around my back. I would have screamed at the agony, but I didn’t have the air. The ground rose up toward me as I crumpled down, feeling as if I were being ripped in two. A flush of wet warmth spread between my legs, down my jeans.

  Oh God, no…

  “Kacey? Kacey!” Dena raced toward me. “What’s happening?”

  I sucked in air, “I can’t… I can’t…”

  Dena and the entire world faded as my vision grayed and then went black.

  Theo

  I locked up the shop and stared at the front door a moment.

  It was mine. I’d been so busy finalizing the details, I hadn’t the time to process it. I owned this place. It all belonged to me, including the responsibilities. If a pipe burst, it was my problem. If the electrical blew a fuse, it was my job to fix it. Inventory, advertising, employee payroll, taxes. All of it.

  “Holy fucking shit.”

  This is what you signed up for, I thought and gave a little chuckle. I’d always wanted this, but I always thought I’d be doing it alone. Instead, I had an amazing woman standing beside me, believing in me.

  And she’s going to have a baby. I’m going to be a father.

  “Holy goddamn fucking shit.”

  I stood there, smiling like a dope on the sidewalk in front of my own place. My entire life was opening up, expanding out. We had baby to prepare for. The grand opening of the shop, Kacey’s music career. We were building a life together, and it was fucking better than anything I had ever hoped for myself.

  I need to get a ring.

  Even though my nervous hands nearly dropped the keys, my dopey grin wouldn’t quit.

  A ring. What kind of ring? What did she like? What could I afford? And how should I propose. I sucked at romance. Couldn’t I just propose in bed? Was that allowed?

  My cell rang as I climbed into the truck, Dena’s number on the display. She was out with Kacey today, scoping potential houses for rent and hitting the mall for some shopping.

  “What’s up, Dena?”

  “Theo, listen to me,” she said. Her tone was calm but her voice trembled at the edges. “I’m at Sunrise Hospital with Kacey.”

  “What happened?” My blood felt like gasoline someone had set a match to. “What happened? Is she okay? Was there an accident?”

  Oh my God, no. This isn’t happening. Not again. I can’t do this again…

  “We were coming out of the parking lot and she doubled over in pain. I don’t know what happened, they haven’t told me
any details yet. You need to come. Just get here quick but drive safely.”

  I dropped the phone on the passenger seat and threw the truck into drive. It took every bit of my will power to not floor it, to not run red lights, and it felt like I hit every goddamn one.

  Hold on, baby, I’m coming.

  I screeched into the parking lot in front of the Emergency Room, parked, and ran for the entrance, a refrain in my head pounding along with my steps.

  Not again, not again, not again.

  I hated Sunrise Hospital. I was here when Jonah was flown in from a hospital in Austin, Texas, after the frantic departure out of Venezuela. I lived here when he was waiting for a transplant. I camped out in his room for the early biopsies. I was on a first-name basis with the staff in the cardiac unit.

  The last time I was here was when Jonah slipped away.

  I stepped inside the sliding doors and pressed my hand to the wall, suddenly dizzy.

  Not again. I can’t do this again. I’m tapped out. I’m…

  I forced myself to breathe and pushed off the wall. I strode to the front desk reception where a woman sat typing at a computer.

  “Kacey Dawson?” I said, my voice sounding strangled. My goddamn heart was pounding my throat. “She came in a little while ago.”

  The nurse pecked lazily at her keyboard as if the fate of the fucking universe wasn’t hanging in the balance.

  “Theo.”

  I whirled around. Dena was there, her dark eyes bright with fear. I got to her in three long steps and she rose to meet me, taking my hands in hers.

  “She’s in emergency surgery.”

  I felt light-headed and cold all over. “What for? Is she all right? Tell me she’s all right.”

  Dena shook her head. “I don’t know how she is, but sit down, okay? I need you to sit down.”

  I sank into a chair. “What do you think it is?” I said, my eyes fixed on Dena’s, glaring at her hard as if I could will her to say it was nothing, this was only a nightmare and I just needed to wake up.

  Not again. God, please, not again. I can’t lose her too. I can’t…