Around the World in 80 Girls: The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova

by Neil Skywalker

  After some talking, I found out that she’d been tricked before by a few guys who cheated on her. I asked what she saw in me, because it was pretty damn obvious I was playing around with a lot of girls.

  It was already too late. She was head over heels in love with me. Some girls make the same mistakes their whole life and she was one of them. She was into bad boys. I tried to protect her from herself but it was too late. She became obsessed with me. The greatest compliment a guy can get, sure, but a damn annoying one too. She already had a whole future lined up for us. She would get me a job at the company she worked for and I could stay at her place. I got nervous of her obsessive behavior and decided to slow things down a bit, and at night I went to a goodbye party thrown by Tina for her French boyfriend, who was going back to work to France.

  It was a barbeque and most the Nr 9 personnel was there, me included. A girlfriend of Tina’s who left to Germany later was there too and had invited some Australian guys. Me and the guys didn’t like each other. Ever since I was massively cock-blocked by that group of Aussies in Vietnam I had disliked most of them. They were also hating on me for no reason, but I guess it was jealousy since two of the guys tried to get with some girls but didn’t like the price tag that came with it, and they knew I didn’t have to pay. The third one, who was quite a good-looking guy, left with one of Tina’s girlfriends and had sex with her. I was too drunk to go out later that night. They all wanted to go to some expensive club but I declined and went to sleep alone for the first time since I set foot back in Phnom Penh.

  I woke up with a massive hangover and could barely drag myself to the guesthouse’s restaurant area to get some breakfast. Waking up took a while and I had a discussion with a girl named Wi. I had loaned her ten dollars a week before, when she had been continuously nagging me for some money. I was really stoned that day and gave it to her as a loan. A week later she had not returned the money and I said she had to pay up in cash or another way. She chose the other way and I took her into my room and had great sex with her. Since it was kind of paid for I didn’t count her for my 80-girls challenge.

  Another girl who was always orbiting around me was Devi, a chubby Cambodian girl who had big boobs and massive dick-sucking lips. She was not attractive by normal standards, but I usually don’t care about that. If she excites me, she’s good to go. Those big boobs and lips did excite me and I had flirted with her a bit in the days before. Devi asked if she could use the shower in my room since it was nearly forty degrees that day, I said “sure” and we went to my room. She took the shower and I just hopped into the shower too. She gave me a surprised look at first but a smile followed a second later. I had great sex with her. Sometimes a chubby girl feels ten times better than a skinny one. The saying “more cushion for the pushi’ ” is true. When I say chubby, I mean Asian chubby, which is chubby but soft silk-like skin without cellulite or blubber. Chubby is not fat. I don’t like fat girls at all.

  That night Areva slept at my place. Three different girls in one day. This was getting out of hand.

  Tina, who had just said goodbye to her French boyfriend, then asked me to come to Sihanoukville with her. She was going to enter the Miss Sihanoukville competition and wanted me to come with her to take some pictures and lie on the beach for a week. Three of her girlfriends would come with us too. We could share a room. I said yes for four reasons: one, I don’t get asked to go to the beach with four girls every day, so this was my chance. Two, sharing a room with me? Yeah right, she wanted to get fucked by me. Third, I wanted to take some distance from Areva who was really getting obsessive; and fourth, I had no chance of getting back with Dara or with crazy sex freak Nina, who had disappeared of the radar since my return.

  You might think it was going to be a nice beach holiday. Think again. Of course it was another round of mayhem.

  Cambodia – Sihanoukville

  I went to Areva and told her I needed a break from Phnom Penh and would be back in a day or four. She didn’t like it, but said she would go back to the main office of the company she worked for in Bangkok.

  When it was time to leave, it became clear that the three girlfriends of Tina weren’t going with her. I called one of them when I already was on the bus and asked her about it and she said she knew nothing about it and couldn’t go anyway. She was going to move to Germany to meet her “boyfriend”, who had managed to get a German passport for her and her Cambodian baby. She wanted to come with me and have sex with me – she said it straight up over the phone – but she couldn’t.

  Tina was sitting right next to me and heard everything. She acted pissed off, but I thought to myself, Well, be pissed off, you little liar. I’m gonna have you anyway.

  A few hours went by and Tina, who was only 1.5 meters tall (five feet), had already crawled up against me in the bus and gone to sleep. Just an hour before we arrived I got a phone call from Areva. I couldn’t believe my ears. She told me that she was in Sihanoukville with her friends. She had taken a private car and raced ahead of me there. This was clearly stalker behavior. Tina got even grumpier when she heard the news.

  Tina had brought her scooter with her in the storage compartment of the bus, and when we arrived in Sihanoukville we used it to find a hotel not far from the beach. It was a nice room with two single beds and air conditioning. Areva had called and texted me a few times already since I got her call on the bus, but I took my time because I couldn’t be bothered to hurry and talk to her again. I needed a moment to let this situation sink in and come up with a solution. Tina and I went to the beach and had a massive seafood dinner. My plate was filled with delicious fish. Two tiger shrimps, three sorts of grilled fish, a big grilled squid, a giant baked potato and salad – for only three dollars.

  Tina and I were sitting there when Areva called again. She was looking for me on the beach and was walking past all restaurants there. I told Tina to relax and I would take care of it. She was not happy with the situation and neither was I.

  Five minutes after I told Areva the address, she showed up with four other people: her older Thai girlfriend, a Cambodian girl I’d met before in Nr 9, and two Thai guys, one of whom was her brother. All four of them worked for her. My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets when I saw them and I didn’t know what to do, so I said as less as possible. It was an awkward situation. Drinking a beer with the girl you ran off with to another town and the girl you’re running from and four of her friends and family is not something covered in the etiquette books. I took Areva apart and gave her an angry speech about her stalking me, I said that I already paid for the hotel room with Tina and was not going to stay with her that night. She was disappointed but said she understand me. I was thinking: You understand what? That I’m banging this other girl tonight? How naive are you?

  I went to the hotel room with Tina and she said nothing for a while. She just took a shower and lay on the bed with her head turned away from me. I explained the whole thing to her as best I could, mentioning that I couldn’t help that a girl was stalking me. (In Pick Up/PUA terms a stalker must be the ultimate pre-selection.) In the end I just jumped on her bed and lay besides her. No much later I took her clothes off and started kissing her in her neck. She defrosted pretty quickly. Her face was one of the most beautiful faces I’d seen in Cambodia, not to mention her short skinny body. I’d had the hots for her ever since I saw her the first time in January. She rode me like a wild horse all night long.

  Something I do nearly every time I have sex with a new girl is ask at what point they were attracted to me. She told me that she had always liked me, but that since the day Nina and Dara had fought (she was there), she absolutely wanted to have sex with me and waited for the right moment. Girls love bad boys, whether nice guys like it or not.

  The next day was even more awkward. Tina and I went to the beach and the whole Thai gang joined us. Tina was boozing her grumpiness away and I had to divide my attention between her and Areva.

  That night Tina had to go join the other
Miss Sihanoukville contestants at the Oasis Hotel, and we left early to prepare. The contest was taking place close to our hotel. A friend of hers joined the competition too. She was deaf from childbirth and quite beautiful. It was hard communicating with her.

  The election was pretty clearly rigged by the judges. The jury consisted of one Cambodian woman (whom I met before when hanging out with the Russians) and two foreigners. According to bystanders their girlfriends won. I’m not sure if this was true, but I’d believe it. The main prize was $250, which is quite a lot of money in Cambodia. While Tina is a very beautiful girl with model-like features, I couldn’t keep my eyes off the other contestants too.

  While the Miss Sihanoukville pageant was going on I met two Dutch guys on holiday, who praised my accomplishments so far in Cambodia. The compliments came with Jack Daniels and cokes.

  After the Miss Sihanoukville thing was over, we went to a bar on Tina’s motor-scooter and I saw Areva again. We played some pool and because both Areva and Tina were there I mostly talked to other people to keep the peace. I couldn’t completely control myself, though, and flirted a lot with the Cambodian girl in Areva’s group. After a while, I had a talk with Areva and told her this situation was getting out of hand and that she was way too obsessed with me. Her brother, who was looking angry all night, came to talk with me.

  The situation became a bit dangerous because you never know with Thai guys, they might be very good at Thai boxing, one of the most effective and brutal martial arts. It’s best not to mess with them. His friend was standing close by too and kept an eye on us. I had to figure out if the friend was there in case Areva’s brother attacked me and was losing the fight or if he was there in case I was the attacker. The funny thing was that Areva’s brother was not angry about me going to Sihanoukville with another beautiful girl, hanging out with her all day and night, but he was angry because I talked a lot to the Cambodian girl in his group instead of to his sister. I said that was all a big misunderstanding and I wanted nothing from this girl. (Well, I would have banged her if I had the chance but it wasn’t a priority.)

  After this Tina wanted to talk me again, and then after that the Cambodian girl who was afraid of losing the job she got from Areva. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and had to talk my ass off to all of them to make it all better and not get my ass kicked by two Thai guys.

  Fortunately, Areva and her friends/employees had to leave after the weekend to get back to work in Phnom Penh. Although it was a stalker move to follow me like that, I felt bad for Areva. She sent me poems and messages on a weekly basis for months after I left Cambodia. She was quite obsessed with the ole Skywalker.

  I was finally alone with Tina. Tina was still grumpy about the whole thing and was drinking a lot. The rest of the week we spent on the beach. Every day was kind of similar: we would go to the beach around noon, get a few deck chairs and eat some breakfast or lunch. After an hour she would jump on her scooter and buy a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey in a liquor store close by. From every corner of the beach her “friends” would come by and enjoy the whiskey; as soon as the bottle was empty they all had something to do all of a sudden. I told Tina that her friends were using her to booze up for free but she waved my comment away with the words ”Not true, they are my friends”.

  Tina’s deaf friend, who unlike the others was a real friend, joined us one day with a foreign boyfriend. She got really drunk and the young foreigner got scared of her. She got really wild because of how much she drank. Tina calmed her down and they left. I don’t want to say too much about her because she really was a nice girl, although I couldn’t understand much she tried to say to me.

  During the day there would be several kids around our deckchairs. They would sell handmade bracelets for a dollar. Sometimes I paid half.

  By nighttime Tina would be drunk too and would become jealous if I even looked at another girl. She’d start a fight with me and burst out in tears if she couldn’t win the argument, and eventually jump on me to settle the score with sex.

  This went on for days. During the day everything would be all right and we would have fun on the beach, eat lobster, shrimp and squid all the time and drink some bottles of Jack Daniels, or Dack Janiels as Tina often said, mixed with Coca Cola, but at night her jealousy would take over and she would respond angry to every situation that involved other girls. One night we were at one of the beach bars and met a girlfriend of hers with her American boyfriend, a young guy with blond hair who owned a small jungle guesthouse on one of the islands. They got into an argument about the keys to their room that night. The girl, named Sophon, was very pretty and I exchanged a few words with her, and she told me she wanted to break up with that guy. Back in the hotel room, Tina flipped out.

  I was sick and tired of her bitching about me by now. I told her I came with her to Sihanoukville to spend my time with her and away from other girls but it looked like I had traded one obsessive girl for another.

  That night I slept in the other bed in the room and told Tina to shut up and go to sleep too. Early in the morning I bought a ticket back to Phnom Penh at the hotel reception. When Tina woke up and found out I was about to leave she dropped on her knees and cried her eyes out, begging me to stay with her in Sihanoukville. I said it was too late and was determined to leave on the bus. She said she would pay for my ticket if I stayed longer. A contestant of the beauty pageant on her knees begging me to stay. A situation unthinkable in Holland. After a while I promised her to stay one more day and then go back to Phnom Penh with her.

  Things were all right that day, hanging out on the beach again with the three happy beach kids and some other friends. I saw Soriya again, who was still a bit pissed off at me since she had been the first to be with me and I had banged ten other girls since her. Both Soriya and Tina were at Nr 9 when Nina went crazy and jumped in the water. Tina had spent the 400 dollars her French boyfriend had given to her, mostly on drinks and food. I’d spent 140 dollars that week. A male factory worker in Cambodia makes a hundred dollars a month if he is lucky. Tina had spent four times that amount in little over a week. She lived off the money her boyfriend sent her and had no other income. She told me he was dumb enough to send more if she cried a bit on the phone. Man, these girls were coldhearted.

  Back in Phnom Penh I rode around on Tina’s scooter a bit out of boredom and stayed at her one-bedroom apartment at the lakeside area. It was a nice place to sleep at night compared to the rooms in Nr 9. Tina was happy as a clown that I was staying with her, doing my laundry and making a giant meal at night. I was eating lobster and giant gamba shrimps all night. The bottle of Jack Daniels didn’t survive the night and neither did the giant bag of weed. The following morning we had an all-day banging session and my package hurt till the next day. She invited me to her birthday but that day was just outside my visa period. Once again she begged, this time the whole day, to extend my visa. After a while I agreed to it and left my passport at Nr 9 to let them extend it for me – for a fee of course.

  The same day I agreed to stay, Tina got jealous again, after a few days of calm. The problem was that we were hanging out at Nr 9 all the time and there were always at least five girls around that I have had sex with at some point. Also, Nina had returned to Nr 9 a few times and had openly flirted with me. I really wanted to be with her again, because I liked that crazy Vietnamese girl, but I’d made a promise to Tina that she would be the only one while I was in Phnom Penh. She had won, so to say.

  The beginning of the end came when Tina and I went to a bar called Sharkey’s, which is a large English pub with a lot of pool tables, a good band and lots of old guys looking for a taxi girl, as freelance hookers are called in Cambodia. I never made a secret about banging a lot of those taxi girls, but I never paid a dime for it.

  Trouble started when at first Bian and Ary, who were both there, and later Dara, came to say hello. Dara flirted a bit with me and Tina’s face became grumpier by the minute. We decided to go back to Nr 9 and hang out t
here a bit. After one hour Dara walked in. She had changed her clothes. She looked better than ever in a short mini skirt and her big boobs sticking through her shirt. Tina was talking to someone on the phone and I had to screw things up by talking to Dara in a far corner of the place so that Tina couldn’t hear what we were saying. Dara told me that she wanted to be with me again but couldn’t because of all drama and fighting before. Now that I was with jealous Tina it was out of the question. “I also want to be with you,” I said to her and I charmed her for a full 10 minutes. She was quite emotional and suppressed her tears.

  The one who was not suppressing her tears was Tina, who was crying out loud. “Let’s go to your apartment and talk about it again,” I said to her, which we did. We got into an argument and Tina flipped. She was shouting and kicking things in her room. She went to the bathroom and lay half naked under a cold stream of water, shouting, crying and breaking stuff. It was like a scene from a movie, and I saw no other option but to leave, so I packed my backpack and went back to Nr 9 and got a room there. It was already past midnight now and I went to sleep alone and feeling bad. I heard a girl bang at my door in the middle of the night, but when I asked who it was and the answer wasn’t Dara or Nina I didn’t let her in. It was actually a girl I knew and was attracted to, but I wasn’t in the right headspace to be coldblooded once more and just let her in and do my thing.

  When I woke up I went to the guesthouse reception and asked them for my passport back without renewing the visa. It was due in five days and I wanted to get out of Phnom Penh as soon as possible. As I sat in the Internet café I was surprised to see Tina come in and give me the laundry I had forgotten at her place. She had folded and ironed everything but didn’t want to talk to me anymore. Her hand was wrapped into bandages. She’ probably hurt herself while breaking stuff in the bathroom. Later I sat down in the television area of Nr 9, and as soon some girls found out I’d had an argument with Tina they were swarming around me.