Around the World in 80 Girls: The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova

by Neil Skywalker

  I met one Philippine girl in the guesthouse she was living in the neighborhood and visited the guesthouse a lot to meet the regulars there. I flirted with her a few times and don’t even remember how I picked her up. I was sharing a dorm room with seven other people and I just took her there, hung my big beach towel around my lower bunk bed and had quiet sex with her there. She had nice breasts for an Asian girl and was twenty-six years old.

  When I tried to bang her again in the dorm a day later, the personnel came into the room and she had to leave. She was all embarrassed because she knew the staff.

  A few days later I went to the LA café for some shoring and met a girl there who couldn’t hear or speak. She was a freelance girl showing some good cleavage. I had to communicate with her with a notepad and ballpoint. She did some magic tricks with a napkin and either they were very impressive or I was too drunk to see the trick. I took her in a taxi and we went to the bar across the street from my guesthouse. Some of the waitresses I knew there had fun looking at me struggling to talk with hand gestures and a notepad. Imagine communicating with someone who is deaf and can’t speak other than some noises; she’ll obviously not be highly educated if she works as a freelance hooker. Her English writing was limited. We mostly communicated through body language.

  I took her up to the guesthouse and tried to sneak her into the dorm rooms. Non-guests weren’t allowed in the rooms, but the night guard who saw us didn’t do anything. I got her in my bed and had quickly hung the towels around my bed again. She took her clothes off and I also undressed. Suddenly I heard one of the Philippine staff walk into the room, looking for the girl.

  It was dark and I put my finger on her mouth and gestured to be quiet. Since Philippine girls are very short and tiny she was easy to cover with the blanket. The guy didn’t see her and left the room. We kissed some more and I was ready to go. I had my dick hard and the condom in my hand when the door opened again and the light was turned on. The guesthouse worker had returned and this time he was looking through the whole room, lifting sheets and blankets (!?). When he saw my girl, he told her something in the Tagalog language they speak there. Of course she couldn’t understand because she’s deaf. They guy talked louder and she was just shrugging her shoulders and put her head on the pillow. I told the guy to leave us alone and that she was deaf. The little fucker didn’t want to listen and said he would make a scene if she didn’t leave. The bastard was just jealous of me because he knew of me and the two other girls. He had already warned me when he saw me leave the dorm room with the first Philippine girl. It was too bad I had to let that girl go but she probably would have asked me for money afterwards. Call me freaky but I still have a deaf girl on my bang list.

  Two new flags in one week was not a bad score and it was the second time I had five girls in a row from different nationalities. Not much later I freed myself from the night life and went to bed early. I had gone to bed drunk at six or seven in the morning for nearly ten days. It was time to do some actual sightseeing.

  Philippines – Banaue

  After ten days and with a liver bloated from the many San Miguel beers, I went to Banaue, a small city in the north of Luzon Island. Banaue is famous for its 2000 year-old rice terraces, all built by hand in the mountains and covering over ten thousand square kilometers. It’s referred by locals as the Eighth Wonder of the World, which is a bit exaggerated in my opinion. Nonetheless, it’s a fantastic site.

  I arrived there by night bus and hadn’t realized it would be freaking cold on the bus. I was wearing shorts, a thin jacket and flip flops. I froze my ass off all night and it was a very uncomfortable ride. The seats couldn’t recline and I barely got some sleep. I’ve been on lots of chicken buses and if I can still remember this one after taking nearly a hundred buses worldwide, then it was a shitty ride for sure.

  In only four days I would see Julia again and I was looking forward to it.

  The next morning I went with a driver/guide and his tricycle into the mountains. The guide was high as a kite. I was wasting daylight arguing about it and in the end just decided to go with Stony Tony. I got a free tricycle massage on the dirt roads in the mountains. My bones hurt for days and I was coughing my lungs out for a day and a half from inhaling exhaust fumes for hours. But it was definitely worth it. The views of the terraces were stunning. It’s hard to explain, and even when looking back at the pictures it’s difficult to feel the impact of this piece of man-made nature.

  We drove around all day over dirt roads and through small native villages with waving children, one of which we visited. Banaue is a tourist destination but there weren’t many around that the time. The rice terraces are still used to this day and the rice has a red or purple color and tastes terrific. I ate many a plate of it. There was not much else to do there since I found no bars or other places for meeting girls.

  After just three nights and some alcohol recovery I went back by night bus to Manila. This time I thought I was smart and put on a lot of clothes before getting on the bus but now the bus was steaming hot and I was sweating like a pig. Another 12-hour hell ride. Back in Manila, I took a taxi straight to the airport and had to wait for five hours there for my flight to Cebu, where I was going to meet Julia again. I was looking forward to seeing her again. It had been over six months since we last met.

  When I later looked at the pictures I took in Banaue I saw one where my face was all bloated from drinking so much in my ten days in Manila, and I swore never to become one of those fat old white guys drinking beers all day. You see a lot of them all over South East Asia and I had despised them ever since I first saw a few of them in Nha Trang in Vietnam. Now I saw how it began and how easy it would be to turn into one, and resolved to avoid it at all costs.

  Philippines – Cebu and Boracay

  It was the first of many times I would arrive in Cebu airport. I had gotten a Lonely Planet book of the Philippines from the owner of the guesthouse in Manila. It mentioned a guesthouse in Cebu and I went there. It had a bar and restaurant and the rooms were ok. I had to wait two nights for Julia.

  I spend my days hanging around in the guesthouse and doing some stuff on the internet. During the day I’d seen a Philippine girl with enormous breasts who worked in the office attached to the guesthouse. She looked over a few times but wasn’t too obvious about it. Later that night I saw her again in the guesthouse bar. Her breasts looked amazing and when she sat a couple of bar seats away I was actually a bit nervous to approach her. An older woman and a friend of her introduced her to me; her name was Jenna. From that moment on my game was so tight that I even amazed myself. Everything I did or said seemed to work. Later that night she said she had an American boyfriend who came over every once in a while but I already knew I had to make her mine.

  The knee touch

  I always test the situation by doing the knee touch. It’s obvious you have to sit so close to a girl so that you can touch her with your hands, but it’s even better when you can touch her legs too. I let my knee rest against her leg and see what she does. There are only four scenarios possible:

  • She notices the leg touch and pull her legs away and makes sure she keeps a big distance from now on – she doesn’t like you. There’s a 10% chance you get her. At best you are in the Friend Zone.

  • She notices your touch and pulls her leg away just slightly. Nothing is lost yet but she is not yet ready for physical contact. Try it again a bit later after some more talking. There’s a 50 % chance you can still pick her up, but most likely not the same night.

  • She notices the leg touch but lets you make the touch. – All right, this is good news; you can probably already kiss her that night.

  • She notices the leg touch and starts rubbing her leg up and down yours. – She is good to go, you’re a fool if you don’t try to kiss her and you should try to go for the Same Night Lay (SNL).

  Bonus trick – The Spin Move.

  A guy who knows this move already knows more about picking up girls tha
n at least 90% of the male population on this planet. Anyone who can lift his arm, give a girl a smile and rotate this wrist can do this.

  After flirting/gaming your girl take her outside or bounce to another spot in the club and make sure you walk on the left. Grab the left hand of your date/girl/target with your right hand; this will make sure the move goes fluent. Slow down/stop and raise your arm above her head, she will now notice this and look at you and wonder what you are up to. Smile at her and spin your girl clockwise. Just make a small circle with your arm, no need for ultra short salsa moves. She will enjoy this and laugh. “What guy does this?” she’s thinking. No time to waste, when finishing the turn step close to her and pull her in with your left arm on her lower back.

  Now go for the kiss.

  At the end of the night Jenna and I said goodbye and I grabbed her hand, pulled her away from the outside bar, spinned her around and kissed her. She was surprised but went along with it. It wasn’t a long make-out but I already got to squeeze her breasts a bit. My mission to touch those gigantic knockers was accomplished. I had no idea what the future was going to bring for us, so I just took my chances for that night. And a good decision it was.

  The room in the guesthouse was a shabby one and the toilets in the hallway didn’t flush that well. I couldn’t bring Julia to a place like that and I moved to a hotel fifty meters away from the guesthouse. This hotel room at least had a clean bathroom and an air conditioning unit. It was also twice the price, but still only seven hundred Pesos which was about sixteen dollars at that time. A lot of things are very cheap in the Philippines, but compared to other South East Asian countries hotel rooms are expensive.

  Julia was going to arrive around 10pm and before that I still had time. I sat down with Jenna in the guesthouse bar again. We talked and laughed, and she showed me pictures on her laptop and Blackberry. She was totally focused on me and I knew I had her in my pocket. Somewhat later I went back to my room to freshen up when Jenna came to my hotel and asked for me at the reception. The reception called my room’s phone and asked me to come downstairs, where Jenna asked me if I took her small backpack, maybe as joke or something.

  I denied it and she told me someone took her small bag while she wasn’t looking and she had lost her laptop, Blackberry, other phone, camera and some money. It had a total value of eight hundred dollars, she told me. I felt really bad for her because I felt it was kind of my fault. I gamed her so hard that she couldn’t think straight anymore and didn’t pay her attention to her bag. We looked for her bag together but soon found out it was really gone. She was crying. In the meanwhile I had to pick up Julia from the airport. Jenna and I agreed to keep in touch a bit and that I would see her after I returned from Boracay.

  Julia was very happy to see me again. She cried when she saw me at the airport, the way she always did. We hugged and kissed and in the taxi to the hotel she told me I looked very different from before. I had longer hair and acted a bit differently, she said. She had probably hyped up this two-week trip over and over again in her own head, and for me it was totally different. A lot had changed since we last met in Thailand. It had been a turbulent half-year: I had visited six other countries and banged seventeen others girls of nine nationalities in just six months. Of course after this I felt different too; I still had feelings for her, but nowhere near as strong as back in Thailand. Back then, I nearly gave everything up just to be with her and almost ended my round-the-world trip for her. My sister and my own thoughts pushed me to continue my trip. And of course my rock star-like status in Cambodia had changed me a lot too.

  Julia knew something was up and told me she hated the idea of me being with someone else but knew that I had met some girl in Cambodia because I went there twice. She had no idea of how many girls I’ve been with and I hope she never finds out. I admitted there was another girl and when I said that I kept thinking about Dara, I still thought about her a lot. Despite all this, we had mad sex that night.

  We took a trip across the city and saw the usual sights and at night we were hungry so I took a risk and walked over to the guesthouse next to where Jenna worked. I wanted her to see me with Julia, I don’t know why but it was probably to establish Pre-selection, a jealousy plot and because I like to live on the edge of drama a bit. Pre-selection is a player’s strongest weapon. When she saw us she looked surprised and a bit envious. Julia has a bikini model body; she even did some modeling when she was younger. Jenna, the Filipino girl, is very short and had a small belly. Her giant boobs are her strong points, so to speak. . Physically speaking, I also liked her as a person a lot.

  Julia and I left the next day by propeller plane to the island of Boracay. I thought about joining the mile-high club with Julia but banging her in the toilet would be too obvious. It was only a fifty-seat plane and it only had two toilets without any curtains in front of it. She later told me she would have tried it, she fantasizes about those kinds of things. As always Julia paid her half of the rent so we could afford a nice air-conditioned room with a swimming pool. Our resort was only about 150 meters away from the sea and the beach road where everything was happening.

  Boracay is a small island with about four kilometers of white sand beach. It’s a typical tourist place and mostly visited by young couples like Julia and me. There were also lots of Asian tourists. One day I will return there and get that Korean flag. We did all sorts of activities like jet-skiing, the banana behind the speed boat and parasailing, which was an amazing experience. The Football World Cup had started and at night we went to an English bar to watch the matches with at least a hundred other people. Boracay has visitors from all over the world and it’s fun to watch the matches with actual people from that country. My Holland/Netherlands team was kicking ass every match and ended in the final.

  I noticed it became harder and harder to talk to Julia. Maybe it was because we spent twenty-four hours a day together but that wasn’t a problem before in Thailand, where we’d gone three weeks without separating.

  It was me who had changed; I just wasn’t into her as much. The sex was great and she was up for anything I wanted between the sheets but outside the bed our connection was becoming weaker by the day and that bothered me.

  I tried to text Jenna but didn’t receive any messages back and I stopped trying. A few days later I realized her phones were in the stolen bag, so the number she had given me was useless. I had to think of another way and broke my brain over the name of the company she worked for. When I finally remembered it I gave her a call immediately.

  She was very surprised to hear my voice after a week and acted a bit cold. This changed soon enough when we started texting each other on her new phone number. Julia became suspicious because Jenna wasn’t the only one sending me texts. I had handed out my Philippine number to a few girls in Manila and they were texting me too. I hid my phone and had put it in silent mode but Julia saw me checking the phone a few times and of course she wasn’t happy with that. She had every right to be angry about it; I would be pissed off myself if it was the other way around.

  One day we went to Puka beach. It’s only a fifteen-minute tricycle drive away from the main tourist strip but hardly anyone goes there. It’s the perfect beach to bring a girl.

  The sand is pearly white and you can snorkel and see amazing fishes just twenty meters from the beach. We also did an island boat tour which was cheap and a great day out. It included an unlimited buffet lunch and even two bottles of beer each. I ate and drank so much that I could barely stand up from behind the table and walk to the boat. The eyes were bigger as the stomach, as we say in Holland.

  Two weeks past very quickly and when we arrived at Cebu airport again I made a big mistake. I wanted to grab a lighter out of my bag and the necklace and bracelet I secretly bought for Jenna fell out of the top pocket of my backpack. Julia saw it and immediately knew I had bought it for a girl.

  Call it female intuition. She started crying and I made up a stupid excuse that I bought it to wear myse
lf. I could have said that is was for my sister or mother, but I fucked up by reacting nervous and saying it was for me. She didn’t say anything on the way back from the airport to the hotel where we stayed before. She cried a bit and I felt like a rotten bastard.

  That evening things cleared up a bit. Julia had thrown the bracelet and necklace out of the room in the bushes. I “admitted” I’d bought it for a girl working in the Manila guesthouse who asked me to bring something for her when I returned to Manila. Julia believed my “confession” and that night everything was okay again. She was still very sad and cried because she had to leave.

  We woke up the next morning and had fantastic sex for the last time and I brought her to the airport in the afternoon. We said goodbye and she cried a lot. She didn’t have the holiday she expected and she was disappointed about our relationship. Julia knew I was going to continue my trip for at least another year and she wouldn’t have the chance to see me again. It would have been too expensive for her to visit me in South America but she did speak about it.

  After saying goodbye to her I took a taxi back to Cebu center and texted Jenna that I was coming to see her. I went straight to the McDonalds close to her house and met her there. She even brought a gift for me. Of course I had nothing for her since Julia had thrown it away. I gamed her hard and was lying in her bed within an hour and although Jenna was very horny and wanted to fuck, but I suddenly realized what a giant scumbag I was. I had just said goodbye to a crying Julia, who had saved up her money to see me, and there I was in bed with another girl. I didn’t want to have sex with Jenna anymore; I kissed her and went to sleep.

  When I woke up the next morning I didn’t even realize where I was, but I felt someone stroking her hand over my back. It was Jenna, who now realized I had woken up. She started rubbing other parts of my body and I soon forget about what happened the night before and boned the living daylights out of her.