Resonance (A Golden Beach Novel)

by Kim Loraine

  Shaking her head, she sighed. “Nope. The vet clinic filled my position as soon as I left and they don’t have room for me now. I’m getting royalties though. My dad always said the best thing to do is write a number one hit.”

  He nodded and grinned. “I bet you’re bored off your ass.”

  “I’m living with my parents until my sub-letter moves out. Yeah, I’m a little bored.”

  “You could work here for a while. I need some in-house entertainment.”

  “What?”

  “Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday nights. I need music. I’ll pay you half of the cover and you can keep the tips.”

  “You don’t have to pay me. Just keep me caffeinated?”

  He shrugged. “Have it your way. Can you start next weekend?”

  A huge smile spread on her face. “Yeah. Absolutely. How loud can I be?”

  “As loud as you want.”

  “Perfect.”

  This was what she needed to get it all back. To get her band back. She walked down the boardwalk, soaking up the last drops of sunlight before the fireflies came out and dusk settled in. Pulling out her phone, she dialed Parker’s number, hoping to catch him at a good time.

  “What’s up, bitch?” His teasing tone eased her nerves.

  “You interested in playing a little bit?”

  “As in what? Cards Against Humanity? Monopoly? Cause I’ll school your ass at both of those.”

  “As in, getting the band back to where we were before all this shit happened.”

  The line fell silent and she worried at the hem of her shorts.

  “Hell, yeah. When?”

  “Next Saturday night, at Cups.”

  “Aw, man. Like old times. You talk to Garrett?”

  “No. I was hoping you would.”

  “Chicken shit.”

  She nodded and laughed. “Absolutely. I can’t handle it. He’s moved on, I’m not able to.”

  “Fuck. He’s such a stubborn ass.”

  “That’s one of the reasons I love him.”

  “Angie, I can’t do this for you. You’ll have to talk it over with him. I won’t play without him.”

  “Fine. Fine. I’ll do it.”

  “He’s going to be at the high school the next few afternoons. He’s doing a percussion workshop with kids in the band before school starts for the year.”

  Her heart swelled at the thought of him working with kids, donating his time.

  “Thanks.”

  “Love you, bitch.”

  “You, too, whore.”

  Angela watched Garrett as he worked at the drum set. His strong back moved with his arms as he demonstrated a basic paradiddle to the kids at Jamie’s school. There wasn’t a reason for her to be there. Her brothers weren’t in band—they’d not shown much interest in music—but she’d needed to see him.

  Jamie beamed with pride at his brother, the burns on his neck still an angry red streak across his skin. Guilt hit her hard as she remembered her callous reaction when he’d been burned in the fire. The heat of shame crept up her cheeks and ate away at her resolve. As she watched, Garrett’s arms stopped moving, he handed the sticks over to a waiting student, and he turned on the drum throne. His eyes found hers from across the room.

  Her heart jumped into her throat. They hadn’t spoken since Parker’s wedding. She swallowed past the fear and hurt, pulled up her big girl panties, and crossed the ten feet between them.

  He wouldn’t look at her, not past that first glance, and that ruined her. She’d done so much wrong, treated him worse than she’d thought possible, single handedly destroyed everything they’d worked for. Her chin started to tremble and she turned to leave—chickening out—but his hand grasped her arm and pulled her toward him.

  “No. No, you don’t get to leave.” His voice was low, hard, and seething with anger.

  “We need to talk.”

  “Damn right, we do. Come on. I can’t do this here.”

  He nodded at his brother and motioned for her to lead the way.

  It was weird being back in the halls of their old high school. They’d spent so many hours working on projects, or in Parker’s case, sitting outside of the classroom until he was ready to stop being a disruption.

  “I want to get the band back together.” It came out in a rush, without warning.

  His eyes widened and he sighed. “You can’t just show up here and expect me to drop everything, again.” He wouldn’t look at her.

  “I know. I really do, but there’s so much wrong about us all being separate. Forget about us and think about the band. We need to make music together. We were meant to.”

  “I can’t forget about us. That’s the reason the band can’t work. Us. We broke the pact and fucked it all up.”

  “You told me once that you’d wait. I’m here to say the same thing. I know you’re with Casey, that I probably missed my shot at happiness, but I can’t forget the way I feel when I’m with you. There has never been anyone like you in my life. Never.” She cursed the wobble in her voice. “I’ll wait for you, Garrett, as long as it takes. I never thought I’d find someone who could make me throw out my rules. I lost everything when you left.”

  “You chose to lose it.”

  Her eyes filled with tears and a lump rose in her throat, blocking her ability to speak.

  “You chose fame over me—over us.”

  Taking a steadying breath, she swiped at the hot tears that fell down her cheeks. “I did. And I regret it every day.”

  He finally met her gaze, his eyes burning with intensity. “Tell me, would you be back here if the label hadn’t dropped you?”

  It was a question she’d been expecting, but it still hurt.

  “I’d already made up my mind to leave before they dropped me. That just made it easier.”

  She saw a flash of shock in his eyes. “What?”

  She nodded, feeling hopeful for the first time. “Aiden and I had already talked about what I wanted to do. He’s my friend. As messed up as things got, he’s always been a friend.”

  She watched Garrett set his jaw and his fingers began tapping out a rhythm against his forearm.

  “I sabotaged my contract, made them drop me. You were right. I’d lost sight of myself, of the band, of us.”

  He pushed off the wall and raked a hand through his tumbled mess of dark curls, pacing up and down the hall as he contemplated her words.

  Stopping in front of her, eyes blazing, he reached out as if to touch her cheek and then thought better of it. “You broke me, Angie, over and over again.”

  Her tears flowed freely as she took in the pained expression coloring his features. “I know. I deserved every inch of what I got. I just needed you to know the whole story. I needed you to hear how sorry I am, how I need to make music with you, and . . . and that I’ll love you for the rest of my life, even if you don’t feel the same.” The last was just a whisper as she fought to push the words out.

  Again, he reached out. His hand faltering as he clearly worked to regain his composure. She could smell his familiar, spicy scent and ached to lean in, to close the distance between them.

  “I just don’t know if I can trust you.”

  She’d expected this. Prepared herself, even. But that didn’t lessen the pain that shot through her heart. She willed him to continue, to add a but to the end of this sentence. Instead, his phone rang, a jarring sound that sliced through the thin thread holding them together.

  As his focus drifted to his pocket, she took the opportunity to remove herself from the situation. She needed time to lick her wounds and put herself back together.

  The last thing she heard as she shoved open the door at the end of the hall was Garrett answering his phone.


  “Hey, Case. Nope, nothing important.”

  Chapter 45

  Nothing important.

  Angela wiped the last of her tears as she strode down the street, away from the school, the ghosts of her past, away from Garrett. Wrapping her arms around her chest, she struggled to contain her grief.

  She’d lost him.

  She deserved to lose him. She’d had the nerve to think she was prepared for it to happen. But when the words finally came, when he’d chosen to answer Casey’s phone call and called her nothing important, the realization slid home like a bullet through her heart.

  The late-afternoon sun warmed her skin as she continued on her aimless path toward her goal of away. Eventually, she found herself on the beach, miles from where her car was parked at the school. She didn’t care. Kicking off her shoes, she sat at the edge of where the shore changed from dry to wet. Willing herself to let go, she watched the waves ebb and flow as she pressed her toes into the warm sand and shuffled her feet through the soft, golden grains.

  Her phone rang from the depths of her unorganized handbag, but she ignored it. It rang, and rang, and rang, until finally, she dug through the assorted mass of papers, gum wrappers, cosmetics, and notepads. By the time she fished her cell out of the mess it had stopped ringing.

  A text from Valerie followed on the heels of her call. Where are you?

  Angela picked at the hole in the knee of her old jeans and sighed. She didn’t want to see anyone, not really, but Valerie wasn’t the kind of woman who’d leave you alone in your misery. She knew the texts wouldn’t stop. Her finger hovered over the power button as she contemplated taking herself off the grid for a while. The idea of being unplugged, invisible, isolated, was tempting.

  Her phone buzzed again. If you don’t answer me, I’m sending out a search party. I know a lot of firefighters.

  A slight grin turned up the corner of her mouth. Her big sister was such a pain.

  She typed back a quick reply. I’m fine. On the beach.

  A gull’s cry broke through the sound of the rhythmic crashing waves and drew her attention to the sky. She’d missed Golden Beach more than she’d realized. It wasn’t just the fact that her family was here. This was the place she felt safe, the place that brought her peace and solace. Closing her eyes, she lay back on the sand, crossed her arms behind her head, and let the calm sounds of home ease her into a light sleep.

  The soft slap of flip-flops against feet drifted into her consciousness and she blinked up at the figure who stood above her.

  “What are you doing?” Valerie’s voice was brimming with annoyance. The sun was behind her, casting her face in shadow and hiding her expression, but Angela was sure Valerie’s features mirrored her tone.

  “Hiding.”

  Her sister sat down, leaning against her and tilting her fair head to rest on Angela’s shoulder. “From what?”

  Angela sighed, uncomfortable with the truth but unable to dance around it. “Everything. I messed it all up so badly.”

  She felt her sister’s nod. “You did.”

  “Thanks.”

  Parker threw a bottle cap at Garrett’s head and laughed as it bounced back into the sand. They’d been steadily doing damage to the six-pack Garrett had brought over and Jason had offered to go on a beer run while the two of them were supposed to be grilling up the burgers.

  So far, there’d been lots of jamming and no grilling.

  “Dude, come on. We need to go play somewhere. I’m itching to get on a stage.” Parker leaned back in his chair and fiddled with a familiar bass line. “And you can’t honestly say that you’re not still in love with her. If you do, I swear to fucking God I will throw more than a bottle cap at your head.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not that. She was right all along. We never should have broken the pact. It fucked everything up. I don’t think we can go back to the way things used to be.”

  “Ugh! Get over yourself already. You two are impossible. You should’ve seen the way you performed together at the wedding. It was mesmerizing. I could barely tear my eyes away from you two and I was supposed to be staring into the eyes of my hot as fuck husband. The pact was a bunch of bullshit to keep you two focused. You’ve been in love since seventh grade.”

  “I know.”

  “Hallelujah!” Parker raised his beer to the heavens and took a long drink. “Go tell Angie that.”

  “What’s he going to tell me?” Angela stood in the frame of the sliding glass door, another six-pack in her hands and her gig bag thrown over one shoulder.

  Garrett cleared his throat and stood, gingerly placing his guitar in the case on the patio. “Hi,” he offered.

  “Wow, that’s groundbreaking.”

  He knew she was teasing him, and that eased his nerves. Parker was right. He’d been in love with her for most of his life. He couldn’t let her go. “Can we, uh, take a walk?”

  He stretched out a hand and after shrugging off the gig bag she took it. The moment her skin touched his the world around him melted away. It was only her now.

  As they stepped off the patio and into the sand, she pulled off her shoes, digging her toes into the golden grains and smiling at him. “Race to the shore?”

  He couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he nodded, toeing off his converse and socks. “One . . . two . . .” She took off before three, cheating like always.

  “Cheater!” he called after her.

  It didn’t take but a moment for his long legs to close the distance between them and they reached the shore together, dipping their toes in the ocean and breathing hard.

  “I’ve decided to let you go.” She stared out at the water, her jaw set.

  “No.”

  He took her in his arms then. Not caring how rough he was, needing to make her see he needed her to hold on.

  “What?”

  “No. Don’t let me go. Ever. I love you. Even when I try not to. I’ve loved you so long it’s like you’re a part of me.” It came out in a rush, uncontrolled and almost unconsciously. Like a dam breaking.

  “But you told Casey I was nothing important.”

  What is she talking about?

  He wracked his brain for a conversation with Casey that she’d been around for. He’d certainly never said anything like that about Angela. “No. You’re definitely important. I broke up with Casey that day you came to see me at the school. After you ran out on me.”

  “That’s when you said it. I poured my heart out and you answered your fucking phone. You told her you weren’t doing anything important.”

  “No. You started leaving. I answered because she’d been calling me all day. She asked me if the text I’d sent her was important. I don’t even know what text she was talking about.”

  She pulled out of his grasp and started stalking down the beach. Her hips swayed with every move making him bite back a groan of frustration mixed with lust. God, the woman was stubborn.

  He caught up with her and spun her around to face him, crushing his lips to hers, taking what was his, claiming her. As he pulled away, heart racing and blood pounding in his ears he saw the tears in her eyes.

  “I love you, Angela. I want to love you for the rest of my life. I want to spend every day making music with you, every night making love to you, and I want to know you feel the same.”

  She blinked rapidly, spilling the tears that had pooled in her eyes. “So . . . I guess we’re abolishing the pact?”

  “Fuck the damned pact.”

  “I love you. I love you so much.”

  Her words flooded him and soothed his aching soul. After all the miscommunication, all the shit they’d waded through, it all came back to them on the beach, playing in the surf.

  Chapter 46

  Angela’s nerves were getting t
he better of her for the first time in a very long time as she watched the crowd start to gather at Cups. Garrett pressed his body against her and dropped a kiss on the nape of her neck.

  “It’ll be fine.”

  She leaned back into him. “What if they hate me after everything that happened?” She bit her lower lip and worried at the slight tear in her jeans.

  “They’re not going to.”

  “I love you,” she whispered, turning her head to press her lips to his.

  “Me, too. So much. Now let’s go remind them why we’re awesome.”

  She laughed, thankful for him.

  As they took the stage, the audience erupted in cheers, phones were raised and photos and videos started rolling.

  “Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming out tonight. I’m Angela Peters and this is Panic Station. We’ve missed you all so much. As I’m sure you all saw, things got a little crazy for us over the last year. Well, we’re done with that. We’re here together, ready to play for you.”

  The crowd cheered and some guy shouted, “I love you, Angela!”

  She laughed and looked back at Garrett.

  “Thanks, but the only guy I love is sitting back there on the drums.”

  Whoops and applause filled the room.

  “All right, let’s get this show going.”

  She looked back at Garrett and nodded. He winked and counted off their first number one hit. When the music started, she remembered it was so easy, being on stage with them, losing herself to the music. They played like they’d never been broken and the crowd ate it up, singing along, dancing, cheering. At one point, she caught sight of Valerie and Donovan in each other’s arms, smiling up at her.

  When they finished their set, Hank had beers waiting for everyone. He was grinning from ear to ear. “We brought in enough money to pay for that new espresso machine we need. You guys are awesome.”