Until My Heart Stops Beating

by Tonya M Barber

  “Well it’s about damn time!” she said with huge smile spread across her lips.

  “Last I checked lil sister, the phone works both ways.”

  “Whatever! Anyway I’m glad you called. I miss you Mark.”

  “I miss you more knucklehead. How’s everything?”

  “It would be a hundred times better if I had my big brother around.”

  He sighed. “Listen Makeba, I know this has been hard on you but until dad can respect me as a man, and realize that my life is mine to live, we have nothing to say to each other. I swear I wish things were different but it is what it is.”

  “Mark, you know how controlling dad is. It’s nothing new. Just throw in the white flag and make peace.”

  “I wish it was that easy lil’ sister. I really do. But, you and I both know it isn’t. A lot of words have been exchanged between me and dad that can’t be taken back.”

  “I’m sure it was all said in a fit of rage.”

  “That might be so but it doesn’t change the fact that they were said, Makeba. Despite what people say, words do hurt, sometimes worse than anything physical.”

  Silence.

  “Anyway, I didn’t call to talk to you about my problems with dad. I miss you. How have you been?”

  She sighed. “I’ve been good Mark.”

  He could hear the sadness and disappointment in her response. He was disappointed too. His love for Makeba ran deep and they were always very close. He was her big brother, her protector. He knew she looked up to him and he felt like he let her down by leaving but he couldn’t stand being under his parent's roof anymore.

  His relationship with their father was already strained. The day he announced that he would not be attending Seton Hall Law School made it even worse. Mark didn’t care. It was his life and he was not in the business of people pleasing, not even his own father. Law school was not his dream. It was his dad’s. Mark loved technology. He was offered a six figure position with a technology company in Dallas, Texas. It was an opportunity too good to pass up so he accepted, leaving home without his father’s good graces. Mark realized he couldn’t live for anyone but himself and he told his dad so. He also told him he was a grown man, not a little boy who was incapable of making his own decisions. The disagreement got so bad that his mom had to interfere, literally standing in the middle of them in an effort to keep them apart. Mr. Jones told him he was no longer allowed to sleep under his roof. Mark packed his bags and left that night. The company needed him right away and offered to pay relocation costs which couldn’t have come at a better time. He left that night kissing Mrs. Jones and Makeba goodbye. That was four years ago. A wife and a two year old daughter later and he still hadn’t been home since that night.

  “Makeba, why don’t you come see me for the holidays this year?”

  “Mark, I don’t have money to travel. You know what I’m trying to do.”

  “Yes I do. I will pay your traveling expenses and we have an extra room for you here which eliminates the need to pay for a hotel. You don’t have to worry about a thing.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m positive. Monica would love the company.”

  “I would love to Mark. I can finally see my niece in person.”

  “Yes you can. Let’s make this happen for Thanksgiving, that way you won’t have to hear dad’s mouth about missing Christmas.”

  “That’s a plan. Thank you Mark.”

  “Anytime little sister. I can’t wait to see you.”

  “Ditto! Anyway, we’re discussing the holidays like it’s right around the corner. Thanksgiving is four months away. A lot can happen by then.”

  He knew what she was hinting at. “I wouldn’t bet on it girl.”

  “Well I can dream. Look, I have to go. My bus is coming. I love you.”

  “I love you too little sister.”

  She terminated the call then boarded the number twenty-five bus heading to Newark Penn Station to connect to the sixty-two to Newark Airport.

  You Again

  It was always a joy hearing from Mark. She missed him so much. Her dad made her so mad sometimes because of how stubborn he was. His reluctance to rectify things with his son was not only affecting him but the entire family. The person she felt the most sorry for was her mom. Being unable to see her son for so long had to be heartbreaking.

  After placing her purse under the counter and locking it in the cabinet, she began counting her beer bottles. Strangely, it appeared that there was six bottles unaccounted for. Looking up over the bar she called Marcella and asked her to tell Rasheeda to come over.

  “What’s up Keba?”

  Turning to face her she said, “My count is off by six bottles.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Go look over my paperwork.”

  “No need girl. I believe you.”

  “Ok, I just wanted to inform you of what’s going on. Go away now. I need to stock up before the crowd starts coming in.”

  Rasheeda sucked her teeth. “Girl I’ve been thrown out of better places than this.”

  She walked away chuckling, leaving Makeba to set up her bar so she could be prepared when customers start to arrive.

  Realizing she was low on coronas, she looked around for Nick, the utility worker, but he was nowhere to be found. Sighing, she walked to the back to get a case herself. She returned to the front and began restocking the refrigerator. Again, her mind was invaded by thoughts of what's his name. For the life of her she couldn’t remember what his name was. Brushing it off she continued to fill up the refrigerator.

  “Ahem.”

  She looked up. An old Spanish guy was standing on the other side of the bar holding a bouquet of flowers.

  “Can I help you?”

  “I have a delivery for Makeba.”

  “I’m Makeba.”

  “These are for you then.” He held the vase out to her.

  She looked at him inquisitively. Who in the world could they have been from? She thought. She wasn’t dating anyone nor did she do anything spectacular for anyone that would warrant a bouquet of flowers as a reward. Realizing the man was still holding the vase waiting for her to take them she accepted the flowers and placed them on the bar while she retrieved her purse from the cabinet. Taking out a five dollar bill from her wallet she handed it to him and was shocked when he declined the money.

  “Thank you anyway ma’am. I have been tipped handsomely in advance. Enjoy your day and your flowers,” he smiled as he trotted off.

  Smiling, she turned her attention to the beautiful bouquet that was just delivered. From the corner of her eye she observed movement. Glancing over at the doorway, she discovered Marcella, Nick and Rasheeda peeking at her with smiles bigger than the one she had on her face.

  “What?” she grinned.

  They entered asking all kinds of questions like where the flowers came from and how serious she was with the guy that sent them. They were questions she had no answers because she didn’t know herself. Suddenly it occurred to her that she hadn’t read the card. Maybe all the answers to her questions were there. Opening the card left her with more questions than she had before reading it. There was no name nor any mention of anything that would have given a clue as to who sent them. Knowing that her co-workers were anxious to know what the card said, she read the short message. Everyone voiced their opinion on who could possibly have sent them. Even Melvin’s name was thrown in the mix. The thought of him sending her flowers made her sick to her stomach. Rasheeda suggested that she had a secret admirer and considered her lucky. Shrugging her shoulders, she shooed them away so she could get back to work. Customers were starting to arrive.

  Today turned out to be one of those days Makeba loved to hate. An unexpected thunderstorm passed through and caused hundreds of delays. The bar was packed to capacity. Because of the bad weather and stranded flights, the restaurant had to extend its hours to cater to the passengers. It was two hours past the end of her shift and she
still had one customer left. Anxious to cash out and get home, she informed him that she was closing for the night. He didn’t seem to mind since the storm had dissipated and outgoing flights resumed. The customer took the last sip of his beer, bid her goodnight and left. Not long after, Rasheeda took her end of the day sales reading and removed her cash drawer. Makeba cleaned and restocked the bar then rushed to the back to get cashed out. It was late, real late.

  “C’mon Rasheeda, make it quick. The last bus is in a half hour.”

  Rasheeda smirked holding up her receipts in one hand and cash in the other. “You want this done right don’t you?”

  “Yes, but I want to make sure I catch that bus too. I’m not paying twenty five dollars for no damn cab. Not tonight.”

  “I’ll drop you off girl.”

  Rasheeda and Makeba looked toward the entrance of the office.

  “Thank you Marcella. I really appreciate it”

  “No problem. I’ll be sitting in the dining area when you’re done.”

  “Damn, what about me?”

  Marcella looked back over her shoulders. “Now you know I am not going to let you catch a bus this time of night. Stop acting up Rasheeda.”

  “I was just making sure, that’s all.”

  They guffawed. Marcella left as Rasheeda resumed counting Makeba’s bank.

  “So Makeba, it’s only us right now. You care to tell me who sent the flowers?”

  “I have no idea. Not one clue. You know if I knew I would tell you.”

  “I don’t know girl. I think you're keeping secrets.”

  “I swear I’m not. I have no idea where they came from.”

  “Whatever,” she replied in disbelief as she handed the cash sheet to Makeba to sign.

  Makeba watched as Rasheeda sealed her bag and dropped it in the safe. Once they made sure the office door was locked they left the back of the house to find Marcella at the bar watching something on the Lifetime Movie Network.

  “Well, I’m glad the damn bar is closed.”

  Marcella smiled. “Shut up, Rasheeda before you be catching a cab.”

  “Make me catch a cab and watch how fast I put you on the schedule for the next holiday.”

  “You wouldn’t dare!”

  “Try me Marcella.”

  Makeba laughed so hard tears were streaming down her face.

  “What the hell you laughing at,” they yelled in unison.

  “At the both of you silly girls that's who.”

  “Let’s go,” said Marcella, rolling her eyes.

  Rasheeda reached for the light switch and noticed the flowers at the bar on top of the shelf next to the cash register.

  “Why aren’t you taking your flowers home, girl?”

  “Because I want to keep them here. You know how much I love flowers. I will enjoy looking at them while I’m working.”

  The girls eyed her suspiciously.

  “Yeah, she knows who sent them,” stated Marcella.

  “Hell yeah she do,” said Rasheeda.”

  Makeba sighed. “If I knew who sent them I would tell you.

  “That’s what your mouth keeps saying,” added Rasheeda as they helped her pull down the security gate. She locked it before walking up the concourse with Makeba and Marcella walking beside her.

  “I can’t wait to get home and take a hot shower,” said Makeba.

  “Me either girl,” added Marcella.

  “I’m telling you. A hot shower then straight to bed,” Rasheeda sighed.

  They left the terminal and caught the shuttle to the employee parking lot where Marcella’s car was parked. Once the shuttle reached their stop, they exited and began walking towards the car. Rasheeda and Marcella were engaged in conversation while Makeba’s mind was trying to figure out who could have possibly sent those flowers. She prayed to God they weren’t from Melvin.

  ~*~

  The following day Makeba arrived at work as usual. As she approached the restaurant she observed a familiar face sitting in the far left corner working on his laptop. Trying desperately to get a better look at him she passed his table, hoping he’d look up and give her more than a side profile. A prayer answered, glancing up at her with a smile as wide and as bright as the morning sun. Nervously returning his smile, she quickly averted her gaze as her heart raced. She continued her stride to the back of the restaurant so that she could punch in and begin her shift.

  Arriving at the time clock only to be met with smirks, crossed arms and inquisitive glances by Rasheeda and Marcella, Makeba shook her head and gently pushed them aside as she swiped her card. Immediately, she turned on her heels making her way to the lockers to put her things away. Not caring or acknowledging the fact that she was being followed, once in front of her locker she turned to face them.

  “What are you guys doing?”

  They chuckled. “Did you see him?” asked Marcella excitedly.

  “See who?”

  Rolling her eyes Rasheeda stood in front of Makeba blocking her path. “Don’t act stupid. You know damn well who we're talking about. The vanilla ice cream sundae sitting in the corner.”

  Shrugging, she moved Rasheeda to the side, threw her belongings in the locker closing it shut and made her way to the bar. As she began her daily count she pretended to be frustrated as she bumped into her friend on every turn.

  “Don’t you guys have work to do?”

  Marcella leaned into her and whispered, “You think he sent the flowers?”

  As if she had solved one of the world’s greatest mysteries, Rasheeda leaned her head back, placed her hand under her chin and shook her head up and down. “It was him. It has to be. You receive a bouquet of flowers out of nowhere with no sign of who it’s from and then? Mr. GQ himself comes in here a day later. Yea right! There are no such things as coincidences. It’s him.”

  “It is not him, Rasheeda.”

  “How could you be so sure? I mean, you don’t find it odd that you received flowers from a secret admirer a day before this guy shows up. Look, we all can attest to the attraction he had for you the last time he was here. He made it his business to get as much of your attention as he could.”

  “Clearly you guys were seeing things,” she replied as she began filling up the beverage cooler.

  “Well, the way he keeps glancing over here is all the confirmation I need,” interjected Marcella.

  Frowning, she turned towards Rasheeda. “What?”

  Rasheeda was smiling as she stared in the corner where Declan was sitting.

  Annoyed, she turned her attention back to the task at hand, stocking up her bar. “Go away guys! I have work to do and so do you Marcella. You have a damn line of people that need to be rung up.”

  Whatever!” Marcella scurried off to the register to take care of her customers.

  Makeba glared at Rasheeda. Getting the hint Rasheeda followed behind Marcella but not before alerting her friend that a certain gentlemen was approaching the bar. Not bothering to look over her shoulders she shooed her friend away.

  “Good morning.”

  Glancing over her shoulders she said, “Good morning.”

  She continued to busy herself hoping he’d get the hint and go away but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled out a bar chair and took a seat. Frowning, she glared at him knowing darn well he didn’t forget what time the bar opened. According to her watch there was twenty minutes remaining on the clock before she could serve her first drink.

  “Beautiful flowers.”

  “Yes they are.” She was trying really hard not to sound annoyed as she continued with her work.

  “So how has business been since my last visit”

  That was it. He had to go. It was bad enough that she was feeling nervous in his presence but he kept on trying to engage her in conversation she did not want. The bar was closed and she refused to make any exceptions today. Annoyance was evident as she swung around to face him.

  “Sir, the bar is closed and I cannot have you sitting here until we o
pen. Can you please be kind enough to sit at one of the tables? The server will be glad to assist you if you need a non alcoholic beverage or perhaps something to chew on.”

  Throwing up his hands in surrender, he pushed the stool back with his feet and stood up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I was merely trying to make conversation is all.”

  She shrugged. “Why?”

  “Because you were in my dreams,” he stated as he walked away.

  As if frozen in time, she stood there speechless. Where had she heard that phrase before? Finally it came to her. She hadn’t heard it, she read it. Immediately, she snatched the card from the flowers and read the contents again. “Because you were in my dreams.” Sighing, she hung her head low, embarrassed by her behavior. Rasheeda was right all along He had sent the flowers.

  Glancing over at him as he gathered up his things preparing to leave, she knew an apology was in order. “Excuse me!”

  He turned around with furrowed eyebrows putting his anger on display. “Yes.”

  Hurrying from behind the bar, she crossed the restaurant closing the gap between them. “You sent the flowers?”

  “Yes,” he replied walking around her to leave.

  “I apologize. I didn’t mean-“

  “No worries Makeba.” He continued to walk towards the exit with his briefcase in his hand.

  From the corner of her eye she observed the disapproving expression on their faces. Rasheeda waved her hand telling her to go after him. She did as she was told not because she wanted to but because she knew she was wrong and needed to make amends. Quickly, she ran up the concourse happy that he wasn’t too far away. Again she tried to remember his name but couldn’t. It was ironic that he recalled hers without a second thought.

  “Excuse me sir!”

  He turned looking over his shoulders. Seeing that it was her, he stopped and waited for her to catch up to him. Without saying a word he watched as she sashayed her hips up the concourse in her black sailor pants, matching vest and white dress shirt.