Survivor

by Roberta Kray

  At each landing she stopped for a moment and gazed down on the estate. She couldn’t see anything suspicious, no one loitering or paying any particular attention to the building. It was not quite as deserted as when she’d first arrived – a few people hurried along, their heads bowed against the rain – but there was no one in the vicinity who looked like a cop.

  Lolly was extra cautious when she came to the twelfth floor. She paused, looking up and down the corridor, before advancing to Jude’s flat. Her footsteps sounded unnaturally loud as she covered the distance from the landing to the door. She knocked softly, not wanting to alert the neighbours, and waited.

  When Jude answered, it was not exactly the welcome she’d been hoping for. His face fell when he saw her. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘Let me in. I’ve got to talk to you.’

  He shook his head. ‘You can’t. My dad’s inside.’

  ‘No he isn’t,’ she said, shocked by the lie. ‘I just saw him.’

  Jude flushed. ‘We’re not supposed to talk to each other.’

  ‘It isn’t about that. Come on. Let me in before someone sees.’

  Reluctantly, Jude stood aside. ‘It had better be quick.’

  Lolly went through to the living room and immediately felt a stirring of emotion. The green corduroy sofa and the shelves full of films reminded her of old times, of peanut butter sandwiches, of easy chats and hours spent watching the ill-fated lives of others play out on the makeshift screen. It felt like for ever since she’d last been here. So much had changed over the past few months, and not for the better.

  Jude didn’t even try to hide his agitation. ‘What is it? What do you want?’

  ‘I need to know what happened to Joseph.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Why were the cops here last night?’

  ‘They weren’t. Why would they be? I had nothing to do with Amy’s death. I’ve told them that. I didn’t —’

  ‘No, I don’t mean here,’ she interrupted, ‘I mean on the estate. There’s tape across the tunnel. Something happened. Did Joseph get hurt?’

  ‘I don’t even know who Joseph is.’

  ‘Yes you do. The black bloke who hangs out in the tunnel. You must have seen him around. He’s always there.’

  ‘Oh, right, him.’

  ‘I think Tony and his crew might have come after him last night. I heard them talking in the yard. Tracy said Joseph had been picked up over Amy. She said he’d been down the nick for hours. She said —’

  ‘What was Tracy doing there?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Lolly said, frustrated by the lack of answers. ‘They all took off and came here looking for Joseph.’

  ‘There was an ambulance. Someone got taken away. Yeah, it could have been him. I think it was.’

  Lolly’s heart sank. ‘Was it bad? Could you see?’

  Jude shrugged. ‘I dunno. Does it matter? And if he killed Amy —’

  ‘But he didn’t. He couldn’t have. I saw him in the tunnel just before… it was like maybe a quarter of an hour before you caught up with me. And I was chatting to him for ten minutes, maybe longer. So he couldn’t have done it, could he? It’s impossible.’

  ‘You can’t tell the law that. You can’t say you were with him.’

  Lolly saw the panic in his eyes and knew that the only person he was thinking about was himself. He was scared she’d go back on her alibi. ‘I know. I’m not going to. But what if he dies?’

  ‘So what if he does? It’s one less lousy dealer on the estate.’

  Lolly was stunned by the words. She stared at him, open-mouthed.

  Jude hissed out a breath. ‘Jesus, what are you looking at me like that for? It’s true, isn’t it? Anyway, why were you even talking to him?’

  She didn’t want to tell him about her job with Terry and so she said instead, ‘He was just… just asking how I was doing. He said he was sorry to hear about my mum and all.’

  ‘Yeah, as if he gives a damn. Why were you even on the estate? What were you doing here?’

  ‘It’s a free country, isn’t it?’ Lolly retorted. ‘I can go where I like.’

  Jude paced over to the window, looked out, turned around and came back. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean… It’s just if you tell the police all this, we’re both going to be in big trouble.’

  ‘I won’t. You know I won’t. I just don’t want Joseph to get blamed for something he didn’t do. It isn’t fair.’

  ‘Well, what can you do about it? Anyway, if the guy’s innocent, he’s got nothing to worry about.’

  Lolly could have said the same for him, but of course she didn’t. Despite his attitude, she still wanted him to like her. When she looked at his face, at his eyes and mouth, her stomach flipped over. ‘Not if Tony spreads it around that he’s guilty. I mean, that’s what he wants, isn’t it? For the law and everyone else to think that Joseph did it. That way he’s off the hook. First it was you and now —’

  ‘Did Tracy really say that she thought I was innocent?’

  ‘Not exactly. She said something like she wasn’t sure.’

  ‘But that’s still good. That’s better than… Has she told the police that?’

  Lolly shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘When did they last talk to you?’

  ‘Yesterday. In the morning.’

  ‘What did they say?’

  Lolly shrugged again. ‘The same old stuff. What time I got here, what time I left, what film we were watching.’

  Jude put his hands in his pockets and nodded. Suddenly his voice grew silky soft. ‘Thanks, you know, for what you’re doing. I appreciate it. I mean, it was just bad luck that I found her like that.’

  ‘Who do you think killed her?’

  Jude seemed surprised by the question. ‘How should I know? She was always winding people up. You know what she was like.’

  ‘Maybe it was Tony. He was her boyfriend and he’s always looking for someone else to blame.’ She was tempted to speak out about the fake alibi, but wasn’t sure if she could trust him. What if he told the law? Tony would find out and then he’d kill her. No, she’d better keep quiet about it. Instead she asked, ‘Did you see him after you’d talked to Amy?’

  Jude shook his head. ‘No, I don’t think so. I can’t remember. I was kind of distracted after… I mean, I wasn’t really looking. Just walking around, trying to work things out.’

  ‘So he could have been here.’

  ‘Anyone could have been here,’ he replied sharply. ‘Unless we can prove it, it’s not much use, is it?’

  Lolly turned her face away, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes. She felt he should be nicer after everything she’d done. It wasn’t easy lying to the law – or having Tony Cecil on her back twenty-four hours a day. She concentrated on picking at a loose thread on the back of the sofa, trying to stop her lower lip from wobbling.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean… I can’t think straight at the moment.’

  Lolly instantly forgave him. ‘It’s okay.’

  ‘I just want it to be over, to get on with things. You should see the way people stare at me, like I’m a kind of monster.’

  ‘They’ll find out who did it. I’m sure they will.’

  Jude didn’t seem convinced. ‘And if they don’t? I’ll be the person who might have killed Amy for the rest of my life.’

  ‘You won’t,’ she insisted. ‘You’ve got an alibi.’

  ‘As if that’s going to stop them talking.’ He glanced impatiently at his watch. ‘Look, you’d better go. There’s going to be trouble if someone finds you here.’

  Lolly wondered how anyone was going to find her there seeing as his dad had gone to work, but could see he wanted to get rid of her. It hurt her feelings, made her ache inside, but she still made excuses for him. He was in a state, scared and anxious; the murder of Amy had turned his life upside down.

  ‘Okay,’ she said.

  Jude looked relieved. ‘You’d better not come
back until… you know, until all this is over.’

  ‘Okay,’ she said again.

  He went over to the door, opened it and peered left and right along the corridor. ‘Right, quick, it’s all clear.’

  Lolly was bundled out with barely enough time to say goodbye. It was only when she was standing by the lifts that she realised Jude hadn’t asked how she was or how she was doing. He’d been too wrapped up in his own problems to even think about hers. As she slowly travelled down the twelve floors, she tried not to dwell on this. After providing him with an alibi she’d been hoping, perhaps, to rekindle the easy friendship they’d once had.

  Outside, the rain was still coming down. She put up her hood and looked towards Carlton House and Ma Fenner’s ground-floor window. It was empty now, with the white net curtain back in place. If she’d had more courage she might have knocked on the door and asked about Joseph – Ma was the type of woman who knew everything that went on around the estate – but she still had that vision in her head of a red-hot oven, stoked up and ready to receive the next unsuspecting child.

  Lolly shuddered, turned and headed for the pawnbroker’s. She felt sad about Joseph and Jude and just about everything else in her life. She felt afraid too. The atmosphere in the Cecil house was taut and strained and growing darker by the day. It was only a matter of time, she thought, before things reached breaking point and then… She raised her face to the heavens and hoped her mum was looking down on her. At the moment she needed all the help she could get.

  24

  Lolly walked through the kitchen, shaking the rain from her like a drenched dog. She was cold and wet and miserable. Loud laughter came from the living room. Tony and FJ. The sound put her on edge and if she could have avoided the brothers she would have, but there was only one way to get upstairs. She had just reached the door when Tony came out with something that made her stop dead in her tracks.

  ‘He was squealing like a pig. Shit, you should have heard him. It was hysterical. So I stamped on his fuckin’ head, didn’t I? I swear to God his eyeball went straight into his brain.’

  ‘No way,’ FJ said.

  ‘It was bloody classic, I’m telling you.’

  ‘And then what?’

  ‘What do you think? We fuckin’ scarpered before the law showed up.’

  At that very moment, alerted perhaps by the intake of her breath, they both glanced across the room and saw Lolly. Tony’s face grew dark, a scowl settling over his features. He leapt to his feet, strode over and grabbed her arms.

  ‘What are you doing?’ he snarled.

  ‘N-nothing,’ she stammered. ‘I’m not —’

  ‘Yes you are! You’re a dirty little snoop!’

  ‘How long has she been there?’ FJ asked.

  ‘Too long,’ Tony said, tightening his grip. ‘The little bitch has been spying on us.’

  Lolly winced in pain as his fingers pressed into the bruises inflicted the day before. ‘I haven’t, I swear. I’ve only just —’

  Tony pushed his face into hers. ‘Shut it! We all know what a filthy liar you are. You say one word about this to anyone and I’ll close your stinking mouth for ever. Do you get it? Do you understand?’

  ‘I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t.’

  ‘Don’t give me that. I know you, Lolly Bruce, always sneaking around, always poking your nose into other people’s business. We take you in and this is all the thanks we get. You should be grateful but instead all you do is cause trouble.’

  FJ stood up too and came to stand by his brother’s shoulder, egging him on. ‘Yeah, that’s all she’s done since she’s got here. She’s sick in the head like her weirdo mum.’

  ‘Yeah, she’s that all right.’ Tony laughed, expelling a blast of stale, beery breath. ‘She needs teaching a fuckin’ lesson.’ He bared his teeth as he glared at her. ‘You know what happens to sneaky little brats like you? They end up with their throats cut in the middle of the night.’

  Lolly stiffened at the threat. She could feel her lungs pumping, her pulse starting to race. She turned her head away but didn’t try to get free. The more she struggled, the more he would hurt her. ‘Leave me alone. I’ve not done anything.’

  ‘You hear that, FJ? Says she ain’t done nothin’.’

  FJ sniggered. ‘Funny idea of nothin’.’

  ‘She’s a bloody curse. They should have drowned her at birth. That’s what they usually do with the runts. The sooner we get rid her of her the better.’

  Lolly yelped as his fingers squeezed her arms even tighter. ‘Let go! Let go of me!’

  ‘You should finish her off,’ FJ said. ‘Put her out of her misery.’

  Lolly let out another cry. ‘You’re hurting!’

  Suddenly, Brenda’s voice came from the front of the house. ‘What’s with the racket? What’s going on back there?’

  ‘Just messing about,’ FJ called back.

  ‘Well, do it more quietly. I’m trying to do a stocktake here. I can’t hear myself think.’

  Tony released his grasp but didn’t immediately get out of Lolly’s way. Instead he leaned down and whispered in her ear, ‘See you later, darlin’. See you when it gets dark.’

  Lolly pushed through the two boys, ran through the living room, into the hall and up the stairs. She dashed into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She was terrified, sure now that Tony meant what he said. After what he’d done to Joseph, she knew what he was capable of. And maybe he’d killed Amy too. Why else would he have needed that fake alibi?

  She began to pace around the room, trying to work out what to do. She couldn’t stay here. It wasn’t safe. She had to get away, somewhere, anywhere. Perhaps Stella would take her in. Or Terry? But no, she didn’t entirely trust Terry now. He might bring her straight back to Brenda and then she’d be in even more trouble.

  Lolly put her school bag on the bed and began to gather up her belongings. It didn’t take long. She would have to leave most of her clothes behind; there wasn’t room for them. The precious book of fairy tales was the last item she packed, wrapping it in a T-shirt so it wouldn’t get damaged. There was only one thing left to do. First, she went back out on to the landing to make sure neither of the brothers was hanging about. She hung over the banisters until she was sure she could hear them talking in the living room.

  Quickly she returned to the bedroom, knelt down by the bed and eased out the five one-pound notes from the slit in the mattress. Where to put them? Not in the bag. It might get nicked when she was out there on her own. In the end, she decided that the safest place was on her own body. She carefully rolled them into a cylinder and slid them down the side of her sock.

  Lolly went over to the window and stared out at the lashing rain. All she had to figure out now was how and when she was going to leave. This afternoon, after dinner, seemed the best option. She didn’t dare wait until night. What if Tony came for her before she had a chance to get away? And anyhow, the back door was always locked before Brenda went to bed and she still had no idea where the key was kept.