Her Lying Days Are Done

by Robert J. Crane

  “How do I know that I won’t end up, you know…evil?” I asked her. “How can I be sure that I’ll end up like you?” I had asked this of her, or Mill, at least a thousand times in my mind. I never thought that I’d actually be standing in front of her, asking for real.

  “That’s hard to say,” she said. That masked sadness that she carried with her came back just then, in her eyes. Always in her eyes, though sometimes it disappeared for long stretches.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Saints and nuns that have been bitten have turned into the most vile, execrable vampires of all time. On the other hand, I've seen the worst criminals end up like Mill, vowing never to hurt anyone ever again.”

  I nodded. “So, there’s no way of knowing?”

  “Not that I can tell,” she said. “I’m sorry I can’t be more help than that.”

  I wondered about Jacquelyn. It hadn’t been her choice to become a vampire. Had they hurt her? Tortured her? She'd hated me before all of this, but there was a blood lust in her now, one that I figured only killing me would satisfy. And maybe not even that.

  “Well, if that’s what Draven decides to do with me, can you find me and teach me to be like you?” I asked. “Help me remember…who I am?”

  “This is stupid,” Iona said, throwing her hands into the air. “I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation right now. We need to run.”

  “You said they'll find us,” I said.

  She made a disgusted sort of sound. “That doesn't mean we just give up and march up to Draven for the slaughter.”

  “I need to be prepared,” I said. “For whatever could happen.”

  “I wouldn’t take the chance, if I were you…” Iona said. “Even though you seem determined to go through with this—this—this lemming walk.”

  “What am I supposed to do, Iona?” I asked.

  “Anything but what he asks,” she said. “You can at least try running. You don’t have to sit here and take this. You don’t have to walk into their jaws, letting yourself be gobbled up like a dumb sheep.”

  Lockwood lifted his head. “We could escape to Faerie,” he said.

  “I thought that option was out, too?” I asked.

  “I could find a way to hide us from the Seelie,” Lockwood said, “I have allies there that we could—”

  “And do what?” I said, shaking my head. “Spend the rest of my days hiding in the skirts of the Winter Queen, if she would even have me, while everyone I know and love is killed because of me?” I shook my head. “No. This is where I belong. I don’t want to run. I can’t abandon everyone. Not now, not ever.”

  “Things change,” Iona said. “New York was where you belonged not that long ago.”

  Her words rang in my mind, the truth like a punch to the gut. “Yeah, I did. But things in my life pushed me out of there against my will.”

  “What’s so different about now?” Iona asked. “Cassie, you could have a life in Faerie. You could thrive. Be happy. Maybe find that you actually like it better there.”

  “Even if we just hand-wave away the danger of the Summer Court, who I'm pretty sure hate me,” I said, watching Lockwood nod, “humans in Faerie for long periods of time see themselves become more like the shape of their heart. I saw through lies in Faerie, because I started to change there, becoming whatever a human liar becomes in that place. I imagine it's not good.” I looked up and found Lockwood had averted his gaze from me. “What do you suppose a coward would become after a few weeks there? Some sort of chicken creature?”

  “It would not be good,” Lockwood said.

  “Okay, that does sound bad,” Iona said, “but here, you only have one outcome waiting for you, and it’s death, Cassie. If you stay, this is the end of the road for you.”

  What she was saying was what I was already thinking, but it still hurt to hear it from someone else. I didn’t want it to be true. “I have to at least try to save my parents. Mill. My friends.”

  “They’re are as good as dead already,” Iona said, voice rising and filling the whole empty house. “Do you really think that if you go now, Draven is just going to spare them?”

  I licked my lips and opened my mouth to counter with a very weak argument, but she interrupted.

  “Did you hear what I said, Cassie? Because I want it to be perfectly clear what you are walking into.”

  I knew perfectly well what was waiting for me, what sort of pain I was in for, how I was going to suffer, maybe physically, but definitely emotionally. Somehow, I had always convinced myself that they were still alive, even though I knew how unlikely that was.

  Because if they were alive, then at least I had something to fight for. Something to get me there so I could look the Lord of Death in the face.

  “I do,” I said. “I know what’s waiting for me, Iona.” I turned to stare out into the night, wondering if this was the last night I'd ever see. The last time I'd feel the sticky, humid heat. The last time I would ever smell the salty air from the Gulf of Mexico. “Besides, if they’re dead…” I turned back, forcing a weak smile, “what do I have to live for anyway?”

  Iona turned and started away, toward the front door.

  “You really don’t understand, do you?” I called after her.

  She turned and gave me a very sad, very pathetic look. “That’s where you’re wrong,” she said. “I may be the only one who does.” Then she turned and walked away, out into the sticky night.

  Lockwood was looking at me sadly, too. We had gone through so much together, and such a short time ago. We had made it out of that alive, somehow. “Lady Cassandra, I...”

  “You don't need to say anything, Lockwood.” I smiled. “This is my choice. And I need to do it alone.”

  He nodded, once, tried to smile, and failed. I could feel the unease swirling in him, showing itself in the tense lines of his face.

  I had run from this fate for so long, fought it so hard, made such a mess of...well, everything.

  But now I felt...strange. I felt...

  Free.

  I'd run from fate as long as I could, but now, fate had caught me, as it always does. And now it was time for me to answer its call.

  Chapter 35

  It was still dark. The roads were quiet. All the streetlights were still on, casting pools of light onto the grey, sun-faded pavement of the highway. I was driving Xandra’s mom's Toyota Corolla. It had all the bells and whistles, including a back-up camera, motion sensors so you didn’t accidentally merge into another car. And a really great stereo system.

  Not that I was using any of that, or cared about it, either. It was just easier to think about the features of the car I was driving than where I was taking it. Or where it was taking me.

  I was driving by myself. Lockwood had volunteered to drive me, of course, but I'd flatly turned him down. “You've driven me everywhere these last few months,” I'd said with a forced smile, “I'm not having you drive me to my death.”

  He'd balked at that, offering no more fight. Which was good, because I didn't have much fight left in me and I was saving it all for Draven.

  The city skyscrapers were bright in the distance, and as I drew closer, it was like the buildings were growing, expanding, reaching up into the sky.

  I heard a jackhammer somewhere along the highway, fixing a broken wall. At one point a loud buzz came from behind as a helmeted, suited motorcyclist shot past me doing a hundred.

  I sighed heavily as I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel. This was taking forever.

  It had been days since I'd last been alone, and I hadn’t realized just how frightening the silence would be when I finally had a moment to myself. My brain had shifted into “worst case scenario” mode, playing image after image of the horrific things that might be waiting at the end of my journey.

  There were so many things that I didn’t know, so many ways in which Draven had the advantage. He knew the setting, had support, and the leverage of everyone I cared about
in my life at his disposal.

  I had...nothing.

  Nothing but the stake in my hair and the will in my heart, the little spark of hope that somehow, some way, they’d still be alive when I got there. If I had to give up myself for them, then I would. Assuming Draven would honor the arrangement. Which was a poor assumption.

  But if he did...my life for theirs. That wouldn’t be so bad, right?

  Mill would hate it. So would my parents. The grief I'd be leaving them would be far worse than if they were to die, in a way. The grief that I would suffer if I left them to die would be unbearable. Which was part of why I was doing this. Going out together seemed a more favorable alternative to the mental torture of knowing all my days that I was a coward and let them die horribly while I slunk off to hide. There would always be a lurking fear, too, behind every door, always over my shoulder, wondering if Draven would get to me that day, or the next.

  I didn't want that fear. If Draven was a smart guy, he'd know that killing them all in front of me then turning me would be the worst torture. Of course he'd know that. Jacquelyn would have told him all about me, about what I feared.

  Jacquelyn must have been loving all that Draven was putting me through. She’d made it clear she was out for my blood from the beginning. That she blamed me for everything that had happened to her. She wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t appreciate the sheer amount of hate that she was throwing around at me.

  Would Draven let her be the one to take my life? I suppose that would be fair, and probably what she would want. But why would he let her be the one, when I'd been peeing in his bloody cornflakes for months?

  No. He’d kill me himself when the moment came. He wouldn’t let anyone else have that honor.

  I took the exit ramp off of the highway into downtown, slowing at the bottom for a red light.

  Lockwood had driven me to Draven’s place the first time I’d been there. And the second time I’d been here, I hadn’t actually gone inside, but had a nasty fight with Roxy and her posse out in front of his condo building. Iona had dragged her by the hair into the sunlight when dawn came, just in time to watch her burn.

  I'd thought I was going to die that night. But I had help.

  I wasn’t alone.

  But I was alone now. The silence pressing in around me from all sides was a potent reminder. Crying wouldn’t change anything. And I didn’t think I could at this point. I'd shoved all my fears behind a wall of shock these last few days, just doing what I had to do.

  I was getting closer to his condo, my skin crawling, palms getting slick. My heart was pounding in my ears, my head, a thundering bass note only a little quieter than the Corolla’s stereo could have produced. I glanced down at the clock as I put the car in park in front of the condo building. It was just after six thirty in the morning.

  I stepped out into the humid darkness, slamming the door shut. It echoed through the quiet streets.

  Was this the last time I would ever drive a car? I didn’t bother to lock it, and I left the keys on the front seat. Maybe, if I was successful, my parents and my friends could find the car and use it to get out of Tampa.

  But that hope, faint as the fading night and just like it, probably wasn't even going to last until dawn.

  A group of vamps was standing just underneath the portico, the very same place where Roxy had been the last time I’d been here. One of them took a step toward me, dangerous smile flashing across her face.

  And I held up my hands into the air in surrender as they came to take me to my fate.

  Chapter 36

  I hit the floor of the lobby, the vampires manhandling me without any mercy. My shoulder tweaked as I slammed against the tile, stars flashing in my vision. I looked up to see the opulently appointed entry to Draven's condo. It was the same as I remembered it. Gorgeous, brilliantly lit with chandeliers…

  And filled with vampires.

  I winced as I got to my feet, dusting off and looking around. A dozen or so vampires surrounded me in a circle, faces impassive, a couple bordering on gleeful.

  There was no escape.

  A snort of laughter drew my eyes to the shortest vampire present and I realized as my vision cleared from the hard landing, it was Jacquelyn. She stepped forward, came so close to me that when she looked up at me, the tip of her nose almost touched my chin.

  “You made it,” she said with a smirk. “I was starting to worry you'd bail. Like you did in New York.”

  I just looked at her. “I don't bail on the people I actually care about.”

  Her eyes flashed with menace. “I’m going to enjoy this.” Her breath smelled like blood. “I’ve been looking forward to this ever since I realized that you had been lying again, parading yourself around like you were some kind of badass vampire.” She turned around and paced a few steps away. “You wanna know something?”

  I didn’t answer.

  “He laughed when I told him the truth. He sang my praises and told me how wonderful I was, how he was going to make all my wildest dreams come true.” Her lips split into a wide grin, and I could tell she meant it. “I told him all I wanted was revenge on you…for doing this to me…” she said, baring her teeth. I could see the gleam of her fangs.

  I hung my head. “I wouldn't have chosen this fate for you, Jacquelyn.”

  “But you did,” she said. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you, Cassie? Lies, lies, lies. You'll hurt anyone in your way. You’ll lie to get what you want, to get yourself out of trouble. Everyone else be damned.”

  “You don't know what you're talking about,” I said.

  “I'm the only one here who does,” Jacquelyn said. “The only one—even among your so-called friends, your parents—who actually knows you. Knows what you're capable of.” She sneered. “It's going to be nice to be here for the end.” She snapped her gaze to one of the vamps behind me. “Let’s go. I’m done looking at her stupid face.”

  Impossibly strong hands seized me and shoved me toward the elevators, pushing me inside after Jacquelyn. Someone pushed the button for the penthouse and the doors slid closed.

  “You know? Your mom was pretty brave,” Jacquelyn said into the quiet. “She told Draven they weren’t going to give you up, no matter what he did to them. Draven laughed at her and told her that it wouldn’t matter. That you'd come to him. I had my doubts. But look how right he was.”

  “I thought you knew me.” My blood was boiling, but I figured I'd transfer a little of that rage to her while I was fighting the urge to wrap my fingers around her throat. It wouldn’t do anything now, anyways. No breath to choke out of her. As I looked at her, my anger faded, just like it always did. “Jacquelyn…”

  “What?” she snapped, her face darkening. As if I would even dare to address her at all. Maybe I was getting to her.

  I looked up at her and hoped that she could see the truth on my face. “I really am sorry about what happened to you. About what I did, about everything that happened before I moved. I’m sorry that you were turned because we ran into each other by accident in town. It’s all my fault, and I wish I could go back and fix everything.”

  Jacquelyn studied my face and for the briefest moment, I thought she had actually heard me, had understood.

  But then her smooth, stoic look broke, and she snorted, laughing out loud, throwing her head back. “You want to apologize? Now?” she asked with a wicked smile. “That’s rich. Kind of late, don't you think?”

  I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. Part of me wanted to keep trying, see if I could break through the fake laugh and façade she was putting up for my benefit, see if there was hurt and sorrow beneath the rage and hate.

  If I kept pressing, kept pushing…but we were only seconds from the penthouse. I wouldn’t have time to convince her. Especially not with all of these other vampires with us.

  The elevator dinged, signaling that we had reached our destination.

  Time was up.

  The door opened, and all my waiting, my wondering
, all my fear...came to an end.

  Chapter 37

  The penthouse was different from how I remembered it. It was a large circular room with an opening in the middle of the room that revealed a balcony on the second floor above. But instead of dancing vampires, pulsing strobe lights, and a sick bass line throbbing through my bones, it was like walking out onto a quiet stage, and the audience was a large group of jeering, snickering vampires.

  The main party area overlooked the eastern part of the city, but I couldn’t see the breathtaking view because the windows were all covered with thick, velvet curtains. They were an interesting alternative to Byron’s shutters. They were probably closed tightly during the day then thrown open at night, which is what I had seen the last time I had been here.

  My heart caught in my throat as my eyes fell at Draven’s feet. My friends and family were all kneeling in a line, facing me, their heads were being forced down by vampire hands clasped at the back of their necks. It looked a little like a firing line, but without a single gun in sight.

  Mom’s usually neat bun was askew. Dad’s glasses were gone. Xandra had a gash across her cheek, and I was pretty sure that Laura was having a hard time staying conscious, the way her head was lolling. Xandra’s parents were there, too, bedraggled and trembling, but alive.

  I had almost convinced myself that they'd already be dead. The image of myself losing it, knowing they were gone and I had nothing left to fear, wielding the stake in my hair, had lingered in my thoughts on the drive over. I'd pictured lashing out at Draven, only to be struck down, one last, glorious spit in his eye before I went out. I wouldn’t have cared at that point.

  But since everyone was still alive, it gave me a surge of fresh hope. This wasn't over yet.

  I looked a little closer, and saw Mill was sprawled out at Draven’s feet like some kind of hunting trophy. The sick feeling in my stomach returned.

  “Here we are…” said the man sitting above him, perched on a luxurious throne.