Migrant Hearts

by Isabella Abad

  “Victoria...”

  She sat up on her arm and looked at him questioningly.

  "I made love to you tonight, not only did we have sex. Do not forget.”

  "Why do you think it is as important I understand it?

  "Because I just gave you my heart," he told her seriously. I am your slave and I will always be yours.”

  "I'm scared," she said, a little self-conscious.

  The importance of what he confessed overwhelmed her.

  "I do not ask for anything, I know the time we have is short. But what I mean is that you must never doubt about my truly love.

  He himself was astonished at his words. But it was what he felt and he wanted her to hear it.

  "I have been with many women and I have respected them, that is clear. But I love you. As simple as that. I do not want to sound grandiloquent or dramatic. But it is the only truth.

  "Thank you, Usem.”

  I could not say more than this. She wanted to be as sincere as he was and so she could not respond lightly with a statement she was not sure of.

  The man sat up and looked outward.

  "The stars are starting to go." I'm going to my tent. Have a nice rest”.

  He took his clothes and dressed up, all of which was noticed by Victoria. He was an admirable man, beautiful, tender. But under what circumstances she had found him!

  Ten

  Usem left and walked the meters that separated him from his tent. He was still touched by the moment. By Allah, how he loved that woman! But it saddened him to see the confusion. I would have completed hearing a word of love from her.

  At the same time he preferred to be sincere. He wanted nothing more than truths between them. "How you are going to suffer when she leaves, Tuareg mestizo!" He reproached himself. "You could have opted for a secure relationship and your heart has condemned you to loneliness. She is leaving."

  For a moment he considered the possibility of her staying, avoiding meeting the world she craved. But he immediately abandoned that bad idea and set out with greater emphasis to return her.

  "Love should not become selfish. Rather, I want her longings to be fulfilled. "

  With that thought in mind he lay down on his bed and although it was difficult for him to fall asleep, in the end he succeeded.

  He was awoken by the sound of one of the caravans retreating. He cleaned up himself and went out to look at the movements of the camel riders who carried the animals and disarmed the portion of the camp that corresponded to them. He approached one of his cousins ​​who also looking at and talking to one of the retreating Tuareg.

  "Where are they going?" He asked out of curiosity.

  "The vanguard goes north. The rest remain here until tomorrow when also they will leave. While the first people ensure the way is safe, "answered his cousin.

  "Is it not dangerous to go there?"

  "They say that they have crossed the road before, and although they have come across rebels that are more concerned about what is happening in Libya and they are marching there.

  This information was received with interest by Usem. If so, there was a chance of reaching a large population in the north and taking Victoria along . Of course he should go in the opposite direction to his clan. One could apply for asylum for the caravan leaving or at least travel as close to it as possible.

  He decided to raise the matter before his father for advice and at the same time to ask him to intercede for him before the clan that was leaving. With this intention he went to his father's tent. He found him sitting outside and grooming his camel.

  "Good day Father," he said respectfully.

  He admired and loved this man. He knew of his constant concern for his people, his love for the desert. He also knew of his resignations; his mother had told him.

  "Good for you," he said. I see you serious and thoughtful. What complex concerns have you got in mind?

  Before his son would answer anything, he supposed it would concern the woman. He watched the situation days ago and knew that his son was trapped in her spell. He lamented it, he had tried to warn him. Who better know the traps of love than him?

  "I have a plan to return the white woman quickly," he snapped abruptly.

  He wanted to avoid talking to his father about Victoria, he knew what he was going to say.

  "What plan is that?" Merin asked.

  He would respect the silence of his son and listen to him when he was ready to speak.

  "The caravan leaving tomorrow is heading north. It will pass very close to a city where there is a western military detachment. It is safe to leave her there.

  "And the trip?" You go back to where we left.

  "Apparently the armed groups are nucleating toward the northeast. I can go with this group if they let me. I'd need your permission and you should chat with the caravan chief.

  "If you think it's the best choice, I'll do it, of course," Merin nodded thoughtfully.

  It was still very dangerous, a serious risk. But to shelter with the Tuaregs was the best option. And it would mean that both the woman and Usem would return to their previous lives.

  Finally Merin consented and promised to have a serious talk with the leader of the friend clan and request his benevolence. He thought there would be no problem.

  With satisfaction not without bitterness Usem marched to Victoria. He wanted to let her know what was going on. She would certainly be happy.

  She was going out for a walk around the camp just at that moment. He put it to the pair and quickly told her the news. If the approval was given, it was necessary to organize everything for the march.

  Victoria was surprised by the turn of events and soon gain expectation. She would go back! At the same time she felt a little disappointed. How soon he got rid of her? Did he already know of it when he made love to her?

  She could not help but ask:

  "How long have you known this, Usem?"

  He was a bit confused by the question, but then he understood her reasoning.

  "I knew it today when I saw the advancing group withdraw.

  She saw the truth in his eyes and calmed down.

  "Do you think this is my best chance?"

  "I would not propose to you if I did not think so," he said clearly.

  "It's going to be a long lonely road without you," she lamented.

  "I'm going with you Victoria." What do you think, that I'm going to leave you with strangers? "He looked at her strangely.

  She sighed in relief. That had been her fear, yes. It was natural to think that he would go on with his own. What commitment did he have with her, after all? He had done more than any other man in his place.

  "I do not want to take you away from your people and your way." It would not be fair.

  "I will not rest until I see you safe and sound among yours." Although this means my unhappiness, since it means that I will not see you anymore, "he assured simply.

  "Thank you, Usem," she answered with a lump in her throat.

  She could not say more, she did not know what to say. Her heart was pumping her into his arms, but her mind knew that it was in their best interest to return to their mutual realities. Although it was much easier to think than to do.

  Eleven.

  The next morning, he found them getting ready for the trip. Merin had made the necessary connections and the chief had accepted the two youths in his caravan in a show of respect and solidarity. He had been informed of the details of the affair and his demand was that the woman should be as least visible as possible and that there should be no involvement in the general life of the clan to which they entered as guests.

  They would pass a few kilometers from the planned city in at least ten days, which gave both young people time to get to know each other more thoroughly.

  At dawn, everything was ready. Victoria bade Merin farewell with humility and thanked his hospitality and with more effusiveness of Dure. She had become her friend beyond her cultural differences. She gave h
er an amulet for good luck and asked Ala to protect both youths.

  Finally they left. Usem had equipped the wagon well and had been provided with several young camels as well as needed food.

  The displacement was more agile than the two youths had done in the caravan of Merin, since the clan to which they had just joined had no herd. This made walking faster.

  During the day Usem tried to collaborate with the life of the caravan so that they were not seen as a burden. He carried water, helped with the camels, served as a sentinel when necessary. But in the evenings he gave himself up to Victoria entirely.

  This is how she knew his life: he told her about his parents and their relationship, about his life in Europe, his return to Africa to Merin and so much more that was part of his life.

  Victoria also told him about hers, though by far she was more routine than his. With the exception of the last few months, of course.

  Usem also detailed to her what he believed would be his future, at least more immediate. He had no clan chief ambitions, his greatest desire was to share his life with his father while he was alive, which he hoped would be several more years.

  "And what will happen once your father is gone?" How strong are your ties to the rest of the clan? She asked curiously one night.

  "I feel strongly attached to several uncles and cousins. When that moment arrives, and I really hope it's not soon, I'll see what I'll do.

  This statement once again made his commitment to his clan clearer. It was not projected elsewhere than the desert and the Tuareg.

  Victoria on her part told him about her family and her studies. Also her projects, or at least those she had before everything changed.

  "Before the disaster I was tired of dealing with all the pain and misery that the struggles for power and religion in this continent caused. I felt my heart overwhelmed by the barbarity that every day harasses the most fragile. I was thinking of leaving and today this is my closest goal. Meet again with my parents. I do not want to imagine the desperation they must be in! They always feared that something like this would happen.

  “And you didn’t, did you?

  "I thought I was immune, can you believe that vanity?" Because of my status as a volunteer, white, European, I know. What a delusion! The pain does not distinguish colors in this land.

  "There is much more than pain on this continent and its people. Far from the guns, life runs with the same sorrows and joys as in the rest of the world, "he assured.

  "Yes, probably, but I must go away.

  "You ran even from me," he said with a trace of bitterness.

  "You have been the only joy, the only joy of these last months. What we have shared and still remain for us to live is very serious to me. Let my words not confuse you.

  "As he said this, he stroked her face. You've soaked me deeply, but you know my world is different. I could not live that long.

  "I know," he said.

  Nights of tireless talks followed others full of joy and passion. In both, moments of jubilation were threaded with others of uncertainty at the thought of farewell that would soon cut the thread that had united their lives.

  As they advanced more and more toward the city that would mark their separation. At noon on the ninth day of the march, the head of the caravan informed Usem that they were turning farther west and it was time to separate. The target city was half a camel. They provided a guide so that he could complete the journey. Usem warmly thanked the protection offered and soon took opposite directions.

  The march was in silence, both absorbed in their thoughts. The very serious man focused on getting to the city quickly; he thought of the expectation that surrounded the girl and wanted to satisfy her desire. In addition, he sought to rush what would be perhaps one of the saddest moments of his life, to move away from what might be his only love.

  "I never thought I would be a sentimentalist of this kind," he scourged himself. It would be more usual that the most affected one was her. But here he was, on the verge of crying as the protagonist of a pink novel.

  It is not that he worried about being expressive with his feelings or that showing that sentimentality would affect his machismo. Good lesson had been learned from his mother: feelings have no sex or age. He did not regret that. The separation hurt him and he knew that forgetfulness was not an easy option for him.

  For her part, Victoria was grateful to be so close to seeing her family and returning to her old life. I did not want to think about the farewell, but this was imminent.

  Dusk met them at the edge of the city. Usem thanked the guide for his help and dismissed him. I would see him returning. Now the priority was to enter so Victoria could contact authorities that would make it possible for her to return to Europe.

  Usem proposed to enter the village immediately but then Victoria hesitated. She felt the weight of the inevitable separation and begged Usem to camp there one night. Only that night and that she would officiate the goodbye ceremony.

  He nodded, touched and at the same time dazed. He urged her to leave, if she did not maybe then it would be even more difficult. But he could not refuse her request.

  They spoke little and loved each other as much as possible. Each kiss sounded like never before and so treasured them in their lips and in the memory of their bodies for when distance and oblivion would hit them with the force that only time has.

  At dawn they lifted up the camp and entered the city. It was still moving slow and its inhabitants were just beginning to explore their activities. It was not difficult to find the American embassy, ​​which was the safest option for Victoria.

  The security checks were very severe and they had to explain the situation to at least three guards but they finally cleared the entrance to the woman, but not Usem. Since the last bloodied actions the requisitions were severe and not even the condition of middle West that he could confirm was sufficient.

  So the farewell was very brief. Usem was escorted out and Victoria inside the embassy. Once there, she was quickly required to explain what had happened and her situation in the months in which she had disappeared.

  After a while everything was accelerated as Victoria was on the list of citizens missing in violent actions and there was a search campaign promoted by the Spanish embassy, ​​which had no headquarters in that city but in the capital.

  Twelve

  Victoria felt dazed but happy. She had succeeded. Rather, they had succeeded. Without Usem nothing would have been possible. She would have died in the desert. But she was back. She was able to bathe for the first time as she did not bathe and wear Western clothes in months. She kept her Tuareg garments; they were the material reminder of an intense stretch of her life.

  She told her story several times to different people and they all emphasized the fortune she had had. She told no one that she had found love, that would have been a source of amazement, and was something that she kept in her innermost heart.

  The second day she was transferred to a four wheel drive vehicle escorted by military personnel to the capital city and there she was welcomed by all the members of the Spanish embassy. These had collaborated in the search that their parents had prompted for months. She traveled by plane to the Moroccan capital and from there to Spain.

  The emotion of her parents and her own were indescribable, tears and laughter followed one another. There were days of intense struggle and readjustment to times, to Western life, to her new (and at times old) reality.

  Added to this was the curiosity of the media that celebrated her return and were interested in her journey. By the third week she was exhausted. The body and mind took their toll and demanded solitude and family life.

  Her mother was worried about her evolution, she was no longer the same. She understood the anxieties, fears, and stress her daughter had gone through, but she felt there was something else. One of those days that she saw her very thoughtful and decided to ask her directly.

  "What's the matter, daughter?" Do not tell me
nothing or shield anything in the silence. I know there is something else, something that you have not shared with anyone and it is eating you up.

  Victoria sighed. It had always been like this, nothing escaped her mother's pilot eye. It seemed had a sixth sense.

  "I cannot hide anything from you, mother?"

  "I do not want to be meddlesome, you're an adult already and you have enough baggage to solve your affairs." But sometimes a friendly ear helps, at least to the relief.

  She decided to be frank with her mother. From her departure she had drowned the pain resulting from her separation from Usem.

  She never thought the grief was so deep, and this convinced her that the feelings that had been awakened in her were not passing. Not a day went by that she did not think about him: his face, his smile, his passion, his words.

  The relief of the return had been tainted in part. This tried to translate into words to her mother.

  "Can you believe I fell in love, Mom?" At the moment of my life most unexpected and in the midst of a tragedy, what a paradox!

  Her mother looked at her with some surprise.

  “Love? Are you sure? You know better than I do that there are times when people react by feeling something for the aggressor ...

  "Mother, for God's sake!" Obviously I do not feel anything for any of those animals that destroyed my friends. I did not even see them well, they thought I was dead, I've said it to the point of exhaustion! "She retorted energetically.

  She knew that whoever had not lived it would not understand it.

  "But Victoria, help me understand who you're talking about then." Of course, I'm not prejudging anything, you know that I'm not judgmental.