Migrant Hearts

by Isabella Abad

  For her it was a catharsis to be able to trust him and that he was aware of her reality. Any attempt to start a serious relationship between them would clash with the memories of her lost love and the most honest he would know.

  The confession was like opening a floodgate and from it it was possible to establish a relationship without titles. This is a proposal of the man and well accepted by her. They were friends-boyfriends-lovers and worked wonders.

  And here it is today, full dawn and without sleep. She asked herself if she was worried about herself and tried to arm herself. She liked interrogating herself and be up to date with her emotions and impulses to avoid the wrong ways or shortcuts that made her life a mere passing.

  "DoI love Miguel?" She asked herself "He's a fantastic man and he's really been a balsam." I love him very much "

  "Do I love him?" She questioned herself again. "I think I do. I love his passion, I enjoy our intimate encounters, we have very good skin, he's the perfect man for me, I'm sure."

  Just as she finished her coffee, he appeared in her quest.

  "You ran away, I feared you had gone," he teased.

  "I'm here, I could not sleep.

  -And you think coffee will solve the problem

  "You're talking like Mom." You and she are such!

  "That's right, my mother-in-law and I agree a lot," he said sarcastically. We also agree that it is time for us to formalize.

  She looked at him deeply as he said this. She became distracted and yawned.

  "Let's go back to bed." For you to see, it made me sleepy and everything.

  She knew that it was inexorable to pose a more serious relationship, hence her almost anxiety state. She did not want to decide wrongly.

  "Silly, you have it all now and now. Do not get lost in the past, this is just mist "she encouraged herself. "You know that what is right and desirable is to join Miguel. He is the present and the future. "

  With that in mind she fell asleep finally. The sound of the alarm clock at 7 o'clock drew her from a deep sleep. She got up quickly because her shift in the polyclinic was starting soon. Miguel had already left and had left her breakfast half-prepared.

  "How much detail this man has!" She smiled.

  She read the little card he had left with her specifying her today’s tasks and he invited her to lunch in a nice downtown’s restaurant.

  Twenty three

  She got ready and within an hour she was at work. Today she was particularly busy and one of her main activities, scheduled well in advance, was to visit Biram and his family.

  These had managed to improve their situation based on the hard work of Amina, favored somewhat by the connections that Victoria helped her established.

  The Spanish lessons of had been more than fruitful for the children who, in being able to communicate, were advancing in their integration and agreeing to be educated in an honorary way in help centers.

  Victoria's intention was to get all this validated by the state so they could obtain the nationality and benefits of formal education and decent employment in the future.

  She saw with pride how they thrived, and this reinforced her idea that human beings could overcome when tools were offered.

  "It is also true that there must be a return and a good attitude on the part of those who help themselves," Miguel told her. You have run into a family with an incredible dignity and hunger for self-improvement. There is nothing more valuable than that.

  But how many expect everything to fall from the sky for them, supposedly because they deserve it?

  Victoria reflected that this was very real. Biram especially, perhaps because of his age, displayed maturity and an amazing learning ability.

  "They're going to be legally integrated, Victoria." "What new crusade are you going to take next?" Miguel was mockingly spurring on her father's complacent gaze.

  "I wish I could help more people." So many helpless souls are there, "she shook her head sadly.

  "You can not walk around the world in a superhero costume. We help those we can and how we can. No more than that, "said Michael.

  On that day, she found them particularly agitated. Amina brought her in with great displays of affection, and the children hovered about the house.

  "You do not know what good news we got, Victoria," the woman said exaltedly. We are on the waiting list for our situation to stabilize and we can be legal. My children will be able to study and progress, we will live in peace!

  "How I am glad Amina!" You have suffered a lot, but everything begins to improve, you will see that the future will be very good.

  "Yes, yes, Allah protect us.

  Biram looked at her with glassy eyes. Suddenly he stood up from his seat and gave her a big kiss. Amina smiled and said,

  "Biram feels you brought us the best of luck and is deeply grateful. We all are.

  Victoria felt a lump in her throat. She embraced the child, mature by force of blows of fate and looking into his eyes, said:

  "Always trust yourself, Biram. You are intelligent and beautiful, never let them make you believe otherwise. You deserve all the good that happens to you. You and your family!

  When she left she felt overwhelmed. So much love in such a humble dwelling moved her.

  By noon, when her stomach roared for lack of food, she hurried off to the restaurant Miguel had invited her to. It was a small but very cute place, with discrete rooms that allowed guests to be intimate.

  He was already present and checking his diary while sipping a glass of wine. Watching him without his realizing it, she thought of his good qualities again.

  At that moment he looked up and smiled as he saw her, waving his hand for her to approach. A gentleman as he was, he took the chair back and asked for her drink preferences. They ordered and after eating with appetite, Miguel stared at her and snapped at her:

  "Do you want to engage to me, Victoria?"

  This one got stuck with the drink and turned red. She did not expect such a sudden statement.

  "I know that it seems very soon from you and I know what you feel. But we are walking a path together and I feel happy by your side. That's why I'm asking that we take one more step.

  "But I do not even know your family yet, Miguel. Do not put the cart in front of the oxen.

  "That's a detail, For God’s sake. They already know you well, I have mentioned you to them and I have shown your photos to them. They accompany any decision I make, they know I'm not a weak head. And anyway, my parents are inviting you to their house this weekend. Here's the card, it's a party of their company. Be enthusiastic enough to have fun and with many people. You can meet them without the stress of being the only guest and therefore being subjected to scans. "he winked.

  He had everything planned, she thought. But no way, I had already thought about it and the only way was to move forward.

  "Okay, I'll be there. Later we will see about the engagement.

  Miguel smiled triumphantly. One step at a time, he was moving toward his goal. Victoria would soon be his wife, he had no doubt about it.

  That night she told her mother what Miguel had asked for. Needless to say she was very pleased and encouraged her to accept.

  -You will be happy, do not waste more time or continually review your life. It is okay to analyze oneself so one does not make mistakes, but you can not live looking back.

  She knew she was right. Her father, who was looking at her in silence, suddenly asked her,

  "Do you think Miguel can make you happy?"

  "No doubt about that, he's an excellent man."

  "Then do not doubt it. Do you know how difficult it is to find the right person? Most people never do it.

  Victoria nodded as her gaze fell on the television, caught up in the news. Again a shipwrecked boat, who knows how many they were already. The migratory crisis from Africa only worsened.

  Suddenly she lost her breath and felt a weight on her chest. There he was, it was him.

  "It's him!" She shout
ed, frightening her parents as they watched as she rushed toward the screen.

  The screen showed the achievement of the last operation carried out by the Civil Guard of the city of Ceuta, focusing on the individuals rescued.

  "What do you say Victoria?" Who? Who did you see? "Her father said worriedly.

  "Here, here, this is Usem," she pointed to a man on the screen.

  A tall, dark-haired man that surrounded his arm protectively around a large-eyed girl with tangled hair.

  The mother was frightened. Did your daughter rave? She came and forced her to sit down, but Victoria, like a mad woman watched the television and recorded the details that were being reported.

  "You get confused, love, it can be anyone ..."

  - It's Usem, Mom. I know you think I'm crazy, but I know what I'm saying. It's him, "she said firmly

  The report mentioned the catastrophe as one more of the ones that occurred every day at sea. They were twelve survivors of a dinghy that had left with at least thirty people according to the report of the Red Cross. The refugees would be hosted in a center of Ceuta and would be accommodated there.

  "I have to know, I have to confirm it," and she was pacing the living room. Think think!

  The parents looked at her and tried to calm her, but she was already searching the Internet for the phone numbers of the Red Cross offices in Ceuta. No one attended to her, which exasperated her.

  -Where are they? Why don’t they attend to people?

  "Calm down, daughter, look at what time it is." Those poor people should be resting or helping other unfortunates.

  She threw herself into the chair with despondency and whispered:

  "I know it's him." I could not forget his face in a thousand years ...

  Her mother appeared with a tea from the kitchen that she had prepared hastily in the eagerness to reassure her, while she regretted that the television was on.

  Everything was going so well, her little girl was taking over her life and now this. She did not know if what she had seen was real, she could have been confused. But it was less feasible with Victoria

  "Drink this, my love. And calm down. Whether or not the man you say, you can not do anything today. Maybe tomorrow if your assurance still persists, you can find out better.

  She nodded and found reason in that advice. Then she looked up and said,

  "Even though I acted like derangedly crazy, it was the shock, the surprise. But I have no doubt, it is him. I will check it with the news channel on the Internet, I will review the video.

  "If you say so, you must stop and think well what you will do," pointed out her father. I do not think it is him, it was a quick image and he was a man similar to many others.

  "I know him, it was him," she said.

  "Well, but what was he doing in a dinghy?" Did you not say he was of a Spanish mother? If so, he would not need to resort to such an infamous lottery to get there.

  This disoriented her. But then she remembered that he surrounded a child with his arm. It must have been her daughter.

  "Perhaps those who accompanied him could not enter in any other way," she argued.

  "Would a woman come with him?" She asked quietly.

  "Well, but why come now?" Have you heard that the Tuareg are in the middle of the conflict?

  "All Africa is, father," she snorted in annoyance.

  It bothered her that they will treat her like an irrational girl. Knowing there were holes in that story and maybe some not-so-nice surprises, but she had to know.

  "I must look for him, find out first-hand what has happened and help it. Your situation must be desperate, "she muttered with emotion.

  Was it really him, her love? she could not believe that fate would bring them back, but if he was, she was ready to fight for him.

  She got up and went to her room, leaving her parents worried. She was already deep in memories. Love returned to her. Would it be as real as she remembered or as her parents used to say, mirages?

  The night passed slowly and she could not catch a sleep. She had enough time to plan what she would do and how she would do it. She booked a ticket to Ceuta, she made it from the map, she found data of the Red Cross, Civil Guard and any other center that might have to do with the refugees.

  Dawn found her with deep dark eye circles and a bundle of nerves. Feeling the knocks on opening the door with energy.

  "Are you all right, daughter?" I'm very worried, "her mother said as she inspected her face.

  "I'm fine, Mom," she said, hugging her. You should not put yourself through that. I know it was my fault for the way I reacted, forgive me. But trust me. Ultimately, if I am wrong, I will have to paid a visit to a city I do not know and I will be a tourist more. She smiled.

  "And if you're not mistaken?" Are you ready to face the fact that what you remember is not what you see today?

  “If so, it will be the best accolade for my relationship with Miguel. But if what I remember is intact, I will be very happy.

  "You're determined to go, then.

  "More to that, I have everything ready. You know I like action, "she joked.

  She did not like to put his parents in that position of expectation. They had suffered enough with her absence.

  At noon she left, after having informed her work that she had taken two days off and had told Miguel that she needed travel in a hurry. He was a little surprised but did not show it.

  "You remember that we are going to my parents' party this weekend, right?

  "Yes, yes, of course," she answered absent-mindedly, saying good-bye.

  Her mind jerked away from him immediately as she cut off the call.

  The plane left her in the airport of Tangier and there she rented a car to arrive shortly at Ceuta. The expectation is gnawing. Once she had arrived, she sighed.

  "The hour of truth," she said to herself. I'm here. I'm coming for you, Usem.

  Twenty four

  Seated in the huge hall of the temporary center for immigrants, Usem and Titrit took their breakfast in silence. Around him the noises of more than a hundred people getting ready for the activity brought back the most bustling moment they would have wished for.

  They had the great need to be together, sharing in silence the pain of loss and also the relief of arrival to safe destination.

  The little girl, seated next to her father, touched his arm from time to time to show her something or ask her details. She was small, but she was getting it clearer that their lives had just turned 180 degrees and what had been their world up to that time was gone.

  "Africa was left behind, Titrit. We'll be safe now. I promise you, "he explained affectionately.

  It hurt him that that little star of his should have known her uprooting so much. But especially the blow he had just faced was what he most wanted to avoid. Being without a mother at such an early age.

  Guilt struck him like a sword. For him Dassim was moved away from her clan. For him he should have escape from Tangier in the worst conditions. For him he was dead. This certainty surrounded his thoughts and flatten his chest like a slab, though he showed Titrit his best face so as not to deepen his uneasiness.

  As it was, he had to draw strength and continue. Ceuta was the first step towards Europe. Sadly, getting there would not be difficult: the most complicated issue was Dassim and she was gone.

  He should have thought they would do, which way they would take. Plan the steps to take to inject himself again in Spain. Look for old friends and family. Back to former work connections. But the drama experienced gave him shock, though he refused to acknowledge it. His mind was spinning on the same.

  Fortunately, they could stay for a few days at the Center, until they sorted out and clarified their ideas. At that moment he felt a voice asking him ... A voice that seemed to come from far, from the past.

  "Usem ...?" Usem ...?

  Turning around, he could hardly believe what he saw. He closed his eyes and opened them again, but there she was like a blessed appar
ition. Allah did not abandon him at all.

  -Victoria? Is it you? ... It's you!

  If something was missing to break the wall that had been built to curb his tears, it was this. The sobbing sounded quiet and serene, but enough to disturb her little girl, who clung to him tightly.

  "Do not be afraid, Titrit. I'm crying with joy. Look, she's an old friend ... Her name's Victoria.

  A thousand questions crowded into his throat, but he could only look at her and recreate her face. That much loved, so much remembered, so vivid in his mind in spite of the passage of time.

  Hi little girl. I'm Victoria. "She reached out her hand to touch her hair.

  The impact of seeing Usem had been great, but she was able to process it better than this. The little girl was his daughter. Her features reminded her vaguely of someone, but she could not establish it at first.

  He was as she remembered, maybe some strands of silver in his hair and some wrinkle on his weather-beaten face. That face she loved.

  The girl immediately smiled at her and held out her hand. Instead, she kissed her. She felt Usem's penetrating gaze every moment.

  "How could you be here?" He asked. Are you a volunteer in this area? "He asked.

  "No, Usem, I've traveled to find you. Incredibly I saw by chance how people were being rescued in a television report. I saw you, I recognized you ... Our worlds colliding again by pure chance. Incredible, but here I am. "She smiled.

  She measured her emotions and reactions. She would have wanted to hug him tightly, kiss that tired complexion. He showed surprise and joy to see her, as far as to relief, but also some invisible barrier, which she did not know how to explain. But it was there.

  "It was a tough challenge, was not it?" I mean crossing that way.

  He sighed and signaled her to sit down beside him. Titrit listened to everything, and her enormous eyes did not deviate from Victoria, who was somewhat overwhelmed by the intensity that that look showed.

  "Go take a walk around the games, my love," Usem said. Look, the other kids are there.