Energized

by Mary Behre

She was Mercy again. Dying. Dying. God, the awful, unrelenting pain. The loneliness. She’d show them all. Kill them all. Everyone who had ever hurt her. She’d save the ones she loved. Set them free.

  “No!” Niall’s voice cut through the cries like a claymore striking stone. He squeezed her hand hard enough to jolt her out of Mercy’s head until she was a shadow in the mist surrounded by his voice alone. “You are Hannah Halloran. Hannah Eleanor Halloran. Say it! Come on and say it! Hannah Halloran. Don’t forget who you are. A psychic artist and electrician. With a family you’re only just getting to know. You love me. I love you. You’re Hannah Halloran. Stay here. Stay with me.”

  Hannah blinked in confusion as the cool, white mist gave way to gray darkness. She called out weakly, “Niall?”

  * * *

  HANNAH BLINKED OPENED her eyes. Reality filtered in around her like the smoke that rose up to whisk her away into a vision. The first thing she heard was Niall’s raspy voice.

  “Hannah, come back, sweetheart. I’m right here. Tell me you hear me.” He brushed a thumb over the back of her hand. Gently, reassuringly. “A big wedding, if that’s what you want. We can go anywhere you want for the honeymoon. Where do you want to go? Name the place and I’ll make it happen.”

  She tried to turn her head, only to realize she couldn’t. Panic ballooned inside her. “Niall? What’s happening?”

  “Hey there, Hannah. Welcome back. Don’t move, I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” She couldn’t see his face, but could hear the smile in his voice and feel the steady stroke of his thumb on her hand. “She’s back. Someone get us the fuck out of here.”

  Hannah blinked twice more before the room came into focus, even if she didn’t completely understand it. “Ohmigod! Michael blew up the kitchen. Where’s Shelley? She was hurt. Did you find her? How did you get in here?”

  She coughed as ash and dust stirred in the air.

  “It’s okay. She’s outside. She made it out.” He kissed her hand. “You saved her by putting her on the front porch. The kitchen took the brunt of the explosion. You’ll be out of here soon. Just don’t try to move.” He laughed but it sounded like he was choking back tears. That couldn’t be right. “The paramedics are outside waiting to take you to the hospital. Shelley won’t go without you, she said.”

  “Yeah?” Her eyes misted.

  “Yes.” He kissed her hand again. “How are you in here?”

  “It’s where you needed me. I’m here.” Niall squeezed her hand, then let go.

  “No!”

  “I’m right here, I won’t leave you.” He squeezed her hand again, then said something she couldn’t quite understand. Another reassuring kiss on her palm, then he said, “Get ready. They’re going to start cutting away the racks.”

  She slid her gaze down her left arm to see Niall squeezed into the cage of shelves with her. His broad shoulders pressed against the tunnel of metal. His white shirt was torn and there were bloodstains on the sleeves. “Oh, Niall, you’re hurt.”

  She tried to crawl to him but something held her leg. The moment she moved, pain sliced up her left leg. She screamed.

  “Don’t move! Just wait until they get in here.” Niall inched forward until his face pressed against her hand. “There’s a wire embedded in your calf. Hold still.”

  Pain was its own life force pulsing below her knee. It sucked the air from her lungs and made her eyes well with tears. “Okay. Okay. Stay put. I got it. But you should go. I know you hate tight places. Don’t torture yourself.”

  “God, you really are like some fairy queen.” Niall laughed again, managed to move another inch toward her, close enough he trailed his fingers up her arm to her face. “You squared off with a serial killer, were damn near killed in an explosion, went into some psycho’s head, and it’s me you’re worried about.”

  “Oh, the restaurant, it’s destroyed. Isn’t it?”

  “That’s what I have insurance for.” His fingers brushed her lips, and he laughed again. “God, I love you.”

  “I know,” she said with more than a little relief.

  “Of course you do.” Tracing her jawline with two fingers he said, “Is that all I get for crawling through what’s left of my kitchen for you?”

  “Ah, Marine, I love you too.”

  CHAPTER 30

  NIALL HESITATED OUTSIDE of the pristine hospital room. He’d already checked on Hannah, but she was in X-ray at the moment, making sure the pole that had pierced her leg hadn’t broken any bones. She didn’t need him right now, and Ross did.

  His brother sat with his back to the door at Paulie’s bedside. Ross’s shoulders shook in his hospital gown and robe as he sobbed, clutching Paulie’s hand.

  “I swear if you wake up, I’ll stop drinking. I’ll tell the whole world. I’ll do anything you want. Please, please don’t leave me.” Ross sniffled. “Paulie, they told me you tried to save me. That has to mean something, right? It has to mean that no matter how much I disappointed you, you still love me. Oh God, please don’t leave me.”

  Niall’s chest ached for his brother. He couldn’t imagine how hard this must be for Ross. Clearly, Ross’s feelings for Paulie had gone deeper than even Niall had guessed. He only hoped Paulie knew how much he was loved.

  “Please don’t leave me,” Ross whispered to Paulie again.

  And Niall’s heart squeezed more. He’d uttered those same words hours earlier to Hannah. He wanted to go to Ross and tell him it would be okay, but truth was, the doctors weren’t sure Paulie would ever wake up. Maybe it would be best to give them some privacy.

  He started to back up and bumped into a pretty platinum blond nurse who’d been headed into the room. “Sorry,” he said at the same time she said, “Excuse me.”

  Ross turned his bloodshot eyes to Niall. He scrubbed his wet cheeks with one hand, still clutching Paulie’s hand with the other. “So now you know. What are you going to do?”

  The anger in his eyes didn’t mask the fear or the despair. Before Niall could respond the nurse spoke.

  “Paulie’s looking much better.” She checked the various machines that beeped rhythmically in the room.

  The young chef lay unconscious in the bed. The white room, sheets, and blanket gave his normally Mediterranean look a sallow complexion. If this was better, Niall hated to imagine what he’d looked like when he’d been brought in.

  The nurse took Paulie’s pulse, and stared at her wrist to time it. Without glancing away from her task, she said, “I’m coming to your room in five minutes to take your vitals, Ross.”

  “Can’t you do it in here, Erin? I don’t want to leave. What if Paulie wakes up while I’m gone? He’ll be all alone.” Ross reclaimed his seat and pressed a kiss to his lover’s hand. The move was tender and intimate. So natural. Why hadn’t he seen Ross do that before? Why hadn’t he noticed his brother’s feelings for Paulie went deeper than friendship?

  Erin tossed a calculating look Niall’s way, then nodded. “I’ll make you a deal. You can stay in here if you promise not to go on a walkabout. We need to make sure all those nasty drugs are out of your system, okay?”

  Ross nodded, then ran a finger down Paulie’s cheek. “I promise. I won’t leave.”

  Erin nodded and left.

  Niall doubted Ross’s promise had been made to her. Ross hadn’t taken his eyes off Paulie when he spoke. He seemed as unable to leave him as Niall had been to leave Hannah trapped in the kitchen.

  He crossed the room and took Paulie’s free hand, then waited until his brother looked at him. With a deep breath, Niall said, “Nothing.”

  Ross screwed up his face. “Nothing? What are you talking about?”

  “You asked me what I was going to do about you finally admitting you’re gay.” Niall shrugged. “Nothing. I’ve always known.”

  Ross’s jaw went slack, and he slowly shook his head. “You could
n’t have.”

  “Do you remember when I came home from boot camp with Angelo?” Niall asked, then grinned at Ross’s expression. “You were twelve and you got that same look on your face the first time you saw him.”

  “You can’t tell me you knew. I heard you telling him to stay away from me—”

  “Yeah, you were twelve. I’d have kicked his ass if he’d touched you. You were a kid.” Niall conceded the point. “Gay, yes, but still a child. I didn’t want anyone to take advantage of my kid brother. You deserved someone who’d love you. And trust me, Angelo was not that guy.”

  Ross lowered his head, resting it on Paulie’s hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I figured when you wanted to talk about it, you would. It’s not like I walked up to you and said, ‘Hey, I’m straight.’ It didn’t matter to me who you loved, as long as they loved you and treated you with respect.” Niall frowned because Ross’s shoulders shook again. Ah, crap. He hadn’t meant to make him cry.

  “So does that mean you’re out of the closet?” Paulie’s words were weak but clear.

  Ross’s head snapped up.

  The chef’s eyes fluttered several times before they finally opened to slits. “Does this mean I’ll finally get invited to dinner with your parents?”

  “Yes!” Ross popped out of his chair and rained kisses down on Paulie’s face. “Yes. Yes. If you still want me, then definitely, yes.”

  The machines in the room beeped and popped. In seconds, Erin was back. The spitfire blonde shooed Niall and Ross into the hallway. “Welcome back, Paulie. Great to see you.”

  Niall clapped his brother on the shoulder and was stunned when Ross threw his arms around him. His brother hadn’t willingly hugged him since he’d joined the Marines. Until this moment, he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed him.

  “Thank you,” Ross said when he pulled away. He used his open robe to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “Paulie had broken it off with me a few weeks ago because I wouldn’t tell you about us. He said he wouldn’t be shamed into silence.”

  “Ah, the drinking binge.”

  “Yes.” Ross lifted his shoulders, then let them sag again. “He called me a coward. Guess I was.”

  “You’re not a coward and you’re not a kid anymore.” Niall took his baby brother by both shoulders and stared into his eyes. “You faced down a serial killer. No, don’t look away from me. Michael would have killed you. He damn near killed Paulie. You both survived it.

  “It would be cowardly to sink into a bottle and pretend this didn’t happen. But you’re not doing that. You’ve been by his bed when you should have been resting. You can make it through this together.”

  Ross’s eyes brimmed but he lifted his chin. “If I’m not a kid anymore does that mean you’re going to stop coming down on me?”

  Niall winced at a truth that didn’t sit well with him. “I promise to try. And I’ll start by handing you the reins to the catering side of the business when the Boxing Cat is back up and running again. I’ll keep my nose out of it, unless you ask for my help.”

  “Seriously?” Ross’s face lit up. “And Paulie?”

  “What about him? He still works for the Cat. He can cater with you if that’s what you both want.” Niall patted his brother’s shoulder. “He was badly beaten. It won’t be an easy road for him. Given what I just saw in there, I think he’ll recover faster with you at his side. I think you both will. I heard you promise not to leave him. So don’t.”

  “I won’t. Not ever again.” The fierce determination in Ross’s eyes reminded him of Hannah.

  “Good.” He clapped his brother on the shoulders again. “Now go back in there and be with the one you love.”

  “Where are you headed?” Ross called out when Niall was halfway to the elevator.

  “To kiss the one I love.”

  * * *

  HANNAH HOBBLED ON crutches to the door of Shelley’s hospital room. She paused at the conversation inside.

  “You should be on your honeymoon, Jules,” Shelley said, then grunted. “I’m fine.”

  “Right. You have a broken arm and severe concussion, but you’re fine. Good thing for you, I’m here. Who would fluff your pillow for you if I wasn’t?” Jules asked, her tone teasing. Shuffling noises indicated she moved from her chair next to the bed to do exactly that.

  “I have a husband and a son, you know.”

  “And where are they?” Jules asked.

  “Beau is back home with Karma and hopefully getting some sleep. Dev is at the station finishing paperwork,” Shelley replied with a note of amusement in her tone. “I hope Hannah gets here soon. Dev said the doctor wasn’t going to admit her. Just wanted to run a few X-rays. I still can’t believe we both survived that explosion.”

  “I’m glad that psycho didn’t survive.” Jules’s words cut a swath of uncomfortable silence and kept Hannah hovering by the door.

  “That’s a little vicious for you, isn’t it?” Shelley briefly met Hannah’s gaze. A white bandage wrapped around her bruised head. Her right eye was swollen and discolored from the blow she’d received at the restaurant. The sight had Hannah’s stomach jittering.

  “Maybe, but he tried to kill my sisters. Both of them.” Her words came out as if she choked back tears. “I couldn’t imagine losing you again after getting to know you. And I haven’t even had a chance to talk to Hannah. He could have stolen her from me before I ever heard her voice.”

  “I’m here,” Hannah said, hoisting herself awkwardly across the threshold. “The X-rays are all clear. No broken bones.”

  Jules pushed to her feet. Her straight red hair was pulled up in a ponytail that swung to the collar of her blue sundress. A huge smile on her face, she crossed the room with her arms wide. “Hannah!”

  In seconds, Hannah was engulfed in a huge hug. The scent of strawberries wrapped around her. There was something so familiar about being hugged and smelling strawberries. Some faint memory of dolls and sunshine on green grass. And laughter.

  “I remember you,” Hannah said, tears clogging her throat. “We used to play with something in the backyard. Dolls?” She glanced from Jules to where Shelley lay in the bed with her arm trussed up in a cast. “And you used to bandage a stray dog’s paw, then give it treats for being a good patient.”

  Shelley nodded, her lips quivering but smiling. “Sounds like us.”

  “I remember that,” Hannah said again in delighted surprise. “I thought the only things I would remember would be the memories I lifted when I touched something that belonged to you. But I remember that.”

  Jules burst into tears. Big, loud, noisy sobs that had Shelley rolling her eyes. “Don’t mind her. She got all weepy the first time she saw me too. Sit here and let her get it out of her system.”

  “I did not. I helped you get a kitten out of your bra,” Jules replied with a scowl and sniffed. “But sit, Hannah. You should have your leg up, right? That’s what Dev said.”

  “Wow, Dev really stayed on top of the doctors here.”

  “Had to. He needed it for the paperwork.” Shelley winked. “This is the biggest case to hit Tidewater in fifteen years. And Dev got the collar.”

  Shelley pumped her good fist twice in the air.

  “A little proud?” Hannah asked.

  “Super proud.”

  Hannah took the chair next to the bed and allowed a very weepy Jules to fuss over her for a few minutes. Finally, Jules dragged over a second chair and sat.

  “I wanted to surprise you at the wedding reception,” Hannah admitted. She circled a finger in the air to indicate the sterile walls. “This wasn’t exactly the place I had in mind for a family reunion.”

  “Could be worse,” Shelley said, handing Jules the box of tissues. “At least you’re here. If, uh, you’re going to be in town for a while, we’d like to spend a little time with y
ou.”

  “Yes, no pressure though.” Jules nodded, then pitched the used tissue into the wastepaper basket. “Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t care about pressure. You could’ve died at the hands of a psycho tonight. So, I intend to spend every second I can getting to know you. I can’t believe I found you and almost lost you all in the same day.”

  Jules dissolved into tears again.

  Shelley rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Give her a little more time. It’s been a long day for her. She supposed to be on her honeymoon and not sitting in a hospital room.”

  Jules gave her a watery glare, then blew her nose. “Seth understands that I need to be here. Do you really think he’s complaining? He’s at the station with Dev closing the case on that psycho Mercy-Michael.”

  Hannah shivered at the mention of Mercy’s name.

  Shelley rubbed a consoling hand on Hannah’s arm. “You okay, Han?”

  “I guess. It’s just—” Hannah cut herself off and gave her head a sharp shake. “Never mind.”

  “No, talk to us.” Jules sat on the bed facing Hannah and Shelley. “We’re family. We want to know.”

  Hannah considered changing the subject. Had planned to do exactly that but when she opened her mouth the words spilled out. “Being in Michael’s head was terrifying. He wasn’t always damaged. He was tortured by his mother and his sister for years. His mother had some twisted hatred of men. She killed them in front of him. I don’t think he ever understood why she didn’t kill him too. She and his sister tortured a confused little boy until he snapped.”

  “You think they’re why he went after men?” Shelley’s red brows narrowed. “Like they made him gay or a transvestite or something.”

  “No.” Hannah shook her head slowly. “Michael was always gay. They turned him into a murderer. They twisted love in his mind until he confused it with sex and violent death. When his mother killed the man he thought of as his gray angel, he disconnected. Mercy was created from that loss. Ironic really. Mercy was created by the very women she later killed.”

  “He,” Jules corrected.