Latter Rain

by Vanessa Miller

  “I would love to pastor a church, sir. I just don’t know if this is the right time for me. I’ve been going through some things. So I’ve been seeking God about what I’m supposed to do next.”

  “It’s time to stop seeking and become a doer. This is what God has for you. I feel it in my bones.”

  Rubbing his chin, Isaac pondered. Taking over one of the churches sounded good to him. It was why he’d sat under Bishop all these years. He really didn’t understand why he was hesitating. God is this you? Or are you pulling me in another direction? “Let me pray about it a little while and discuss it with my family.”

  Bishop Sumler’s brows rose. “What family, son?”

  “Nina and Donavan,” he said flatly. Nina was acting a fool right now, but that didn’t take away from the value he placed on her opinion. Isaac still held himself responsible for Donavan getting mixed up with the wrong crowd. He was determined to be there for his family, no matter the cost.

  Sumler put his elbow on his desk and leaned in closer to Isaac. “Son, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for quite some time.” He hesitated, then just threw it out there. “You need a wife.”

  Not this conversation again. At least three times a year, Bishop got on this “Isaac, you need a wife” kick and Isaac was getting tired of it. “I’d love to have a wife, Bishop. I just haven’t interviewed too many acceptable applicants lately.”

  “I’m gon’ be honest with you.” Bishop got up and walked around his desk. “If you leave that gal in Dayton alone, you might find a wife a whole lot sooner.”

  “What’s Nina got to do with anything?” Isaac asked, the look on his face daring the Bishop to say anything against the mother of his child.

  Bishop raised his hands. “Calm down, son. All I’m saying is, she’s not for you. She’s not ministry material like some of these other women I’ve sent your way.”

  It wasn’t right to laugh in the face of a man of God. Isaac tried to contain himself. But Bishop was living in some kind of la-la land if he thought the women he’d introduced him to were ministry material.

  “Don’t get me wrong, Nina’s a nice enough girl, but she doesn’t sing. She won’t be able to draw in the crowd you’ll need.”

  Isaac did laugh now. “Bishop, I’ll take a prayer warrior over a soloist any day.”

  Bishop Sumler walked over to Isaac and put his hands on his shoulder. “Son, stop sleeping with that girl and come on back home where you belong.”

  Isaac jumped out of his seat and once again reminded himself that anger was an emotion, violence was a choice. But the fact that he was puffed up with anger and Bishop didn’t seem all that bothered by it, didn’t go unnoticed by Isaac. He unclenched his fist and stepped away from the man of God. “Bishop, that wasn’t called for. Nina is not like that.”

  Sumler held up his hands. “Relax, Isaac. I’m just looking out for your own good. You’ve got a great future ahead of you. I just don’t want you to mess it up doing something stupid.”

  “Well you don’t have to worry about that. Because it’s like I said, Nina doesn’t do that kind of stuff.” He wanted to add, unlike the women you hook me up with, but he left that one alone.

  Directing Isaac to the door, Bishop told him, “Go home and pray about this. See what the Lord has to say about you earning millions of dollars a year.”

  Isaac couldn’t help himself. A million dollar announcement would make anybody do a double take. He almost stumbled over his words as he asked, “The church wouldn’t pay me a million a year, would it?”

  Bishop shook his head. “No, no. You’d start out earning about a hundred thousand. But with the books you’ll write and being on the preaching circuit, you’ll pull in a million easy.”

  “I feel so alone, Elizabeth. Nobody wants to be around me,” Nina said as she held the telephone to her ear.

  “That’s not true, Nina.”

  Nina sat down on the couch with her feet underneath her bottom and continued to sulk. “Charles and I would still be engaged if I could have children.”

  “Nina, please don’t take this the wrong way, because I know you’re hurting. But would you really want to marry a man that places conditions on his love?”

  “No, I don’t want Charles.” She unfolded her legs, stretched out on the couch and sighed. “I don’t know what I want. I probably wouldn’t even be thinking about Charles if they hadn’t left me.”

  “Who left you?”

  “Keep up with me, Elizabeth. I’m talking about Donavan and Isaac.”

  “What do they have to do with Charles?”

  “Well, if they were still here, I wouldn’t be thinking about Charles. But Isaac ran back to Chicago to his girlfriend.”

  Elizabeth sighed heavily. “Nina, you put the man out!”

  “Yeah, right. Nobody can just put Isaac Walker out. If he wanted to stay, he would have refused to leave.”

  “Nina, as long as I’ve known you, Isaac has been bending over backward to be with you.” She switched the phone from one ear to the other. “Now, I understand why you wanted nothing to do with him when he was dealing drugs, but he’s saved now. The man loves the Lord.”

  Nina laughed. “He just tried to kill someone, Elizabeth.”

  “I hate to break it to you, Nina, but I wanted to kill that animal.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “Neither did Isaac.”

  Nina harrumphed. “He tried.”

  “Bottom line,” Elizabeth said, firmly, “what do you want to do?”

  Nina had moped around the house for two days. She wished Donavan had stayed. She’d then have something to take her mind off the empty hole Isaac’s absence left. Now she was on the phone with Elizabeth and her best friend was asking her what she wanted to do. Didn’t she know that life was more complicated than that?

  She gripped the phone and cried, “I don’t know what I want.”

  “Yes, you do,” Elizabeth’s patient voice sang through the receiver.

  Nina grabbed some tissue and blew her nose. “You can’t always have what you want. Sometimes, it’s not good for you.”

  “Look, Nina, let’s cut to the chase. I know that you’re in love with Isaac. What I don’t understand is why you won’t give him a chance.”

  She started to deny that love-fest thing Elizabeth was talking about. Isaac was all wrong for her—too dangerous. She needed someone stable, someone reliable, someone without issues. But in truth, her heart belonged to the man who admitted to her that he was dealing with demons. How twisted was that?

  36

  Isaac picked up a pizza from Gino’s, and he and Donavan went back to his apartment. He desperately needed somebody to talk to. Needed to reason this thing out. Isaac just wasn’t sure if it was God’s will for him to accept the pastoral position Bishop Sumler offered him. Keith was all for the idea. Thought it was the right thing to do. Of course he did. Keith wanted the associate pastor position. Isaac was all right with taking the job as well. He just couldn’t figure out why his spirit was in such turmoil.

  His father had told him that if he needed a friend, he could talk to him. That was laughable. Isaac would rather take his chances with Nina’s rage.

  He picked up the phone, hesitated, then dialed her number. The air conditioner was out in his apartment. Donavan was complaining about the heat. So while Nina was saying hello, Isaac opened the living room window. “Hey, how’s it going?” Isaac asked.

  Silence.

  He pleaded. “I really need a friend right now, Nina. Can I talk to you?”

  “I’m a little busy right now, Isaac. I’m trying to finish my book. My editor has been calling for it.”

  Donavan yelled, “Hi, Mom,” loud enough for Nina to hear him, then he laughed, and pointed at his dad. “Ha, ha, ha. She got you begging like a dog.”

  “Shut up, boy. Go clean up that mess you made in the kitchen.” He shoved Donavan out of the room and pressed the phone back to his ear. “I really need to talk to
you.”

  “Tell Donavan I miss him,” Nina said, then she asked Isaac with a bit of spite in her voice, “Where is Cassandra?”

  “Come on, Nina. I don’t want that woman. You know how I feel.”

  “Talk.”

  Isaac heard the coldness of her voice, but he didn’t care. His need was stronger than his pride. Numerous times, in years gone by, she had needed him. He always treated her with cool indifference. “Bishop offered me a pastoral position at either the church in West Virginia or the one here in Chicago.”

  “And?”

  “Well, I could earn a boat load of money. We would be set. You know. We wouldn’t have the money issues we have right now.”

  “I hear a ‘but’ somewhere, Isaac. What’s wrong with the offer?”

  He hunched his shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m having a hard time getting a ‘yes’ from my spirit on this one.”

  “If you don’t feel right about the offer, turn it down.”

  “It’s not that simple, Nina. This is a whole lot of money to just walk away from. And how do I know this is not God’s will for my life?”

  “Have you prayed about it yet?”

  He switched the phone from one ear to the other. “Can I come home, Nina? Can we pray about this together?”

  “You don’t live here, Isaac.”

  “You know what I mean.” Through his open window he could hear Otis Redding singing, “I’ve been loving you a little too long—I don’t wanna stop now.” Nina heard it too. He knew it from the way the line went dead silent. She was feeling Otis. A memory of their first slow dance trickled through his mind. Was she thinking about that too? “I need to be there with you, Nina. This is an important decision. I don’t want to make it alone.”

  With you my life has been so wonderful—I can’t stop now.

  “I’ll wait up for you. We’ll pray when you get here,” Nina told him, then hung up the phone.

  37

  The door opening at Nina’s house felt good. Felt like coming home. She stood there looking at him as he and Donavan walked in. It’s me, baby. The one you were born to love, Isaac wanted to say, but he chose the safer route. “Thanks for letting us come back.”

  Nina hugged Donavan. “Hey, boy. I missed you.”

  “We were only gone two days,” he told her, then smiled. “I missed you too.”

  “You better had.” She swiped him on the butt. “Go take a bath and get ready for bed.”

  “Just what I was thinking.” Donavan saluted his parents. “Goodnight, folks.”

  Nina turned to Isaac. “Are you ready to pray?”

  “Oh, I almost forgot. I’ll be right back,” Isaac said as he ran out of the house.

  Nina stood at the door with her arms folded and her foot tap, tap, tapping. Her eyes and posture said it all. She was still upset with Isaac and his forgetting something outside didn’t endear him to her at all.

  However, when Isaac walked back in the door with the bouquet of lilies he’d left in the car and said, “I brought a peace offering,” Nina’s face softened. “I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for all the drama I caused before Donavan and I left the other day.” He offered her the lilies. “I know they’re your favorite.”

  Nina unfolded her arms and took the lilies from Isaac. “Thanks, Isaac.” She headed toward the kitchen as she told him, “Go on into the living room, I’ll get a vase and put my lilies in it and then we can pray.”

  “All right,” Isaac said, adding, “Oh, and Nina.” Nina stopped and turned. “Thanks for letting me come back.”

  Nina couldn’t stay mad at Isaac. He was adorable when he was repentant. She smiled at him and truthfully said, “I’m glad you came back.”

  Nina put her flowers in a vase and then she and Isaac knelt in the living room. Their hands joined as they united in prayer. Isaac began their petition. “Father, we come to you tonight, humbled by your greatness and your wisdom. For you, oh Lord, have the answer to all our situations. Your Word says that there are many plans in a man’s heart, but the end thereof is destruction. I don’t want to plot and plan my life to gain riches and destroy myself in the process. Help me make the right decision, Lord. Lead me and guide me into your perfect will.”

  When Isaac finished, Nina took over. “Lord, we ask that you bring the people in Isaac’s path that he needs to associate himself with. He loves you, Lord. I believe that with all my heart. Help him to walk upright before you in all his dealings. If taking this pastoral job is an opportunity from you, then I pray that you speak to him directly about it. Guide him, Father. For your way is the only way to eternal life. In Jesusname we pray and believe that we will know your perfect will in this situation.”

  They stood and hugged as people normally do in church after someone prays for them. But this wasn’t church, so they lingered just a bit longer in each other’s arms.

  Nina backed away first. “I’ll see you in the morning. God will speak to your heart, Isaac. I’ll keep praying. Okay?”

  He reached out and grabbed her hand. He needed to hold onto her for a moment longer. “Thanks, Nina.”

  Averting her eyes, she replied, “You’re welcome. Good-night, I’m going to bed.”

  After Nina went to her bedroom, Isaac climbed the stairs to his bedroom with the realization that although Nina was gone from his presence, she was not gone from his heart, his thoughts, or his longings. He’d die loving that woman.

  As he got into bed, his body ached from all the traveling he’d done. Closing his eyes, Isaac prayed that God would show Himself. But, only he could pray for God and meet up with the devil. He was on another journey back to hell and was powerless to stop this descent.

  Sweat trickled down Isaac’s forehead. The heat was unbearable. Potholes of fire bubbled under his feet. The place was just as Isaac remembered. The air was gaseous, polluted, dry and tainted. Truth had once told him that it was the smell of death, decay and dying that greeted the inhabitants of hell. Isaac was alone this trip. Truth was nowhere in sight. But that wasn’t really factual, because truth now resided within him. That fact alone energized Isaac.

  “Might as well start walking.” Isaac was sure that he wasn’t getting out of there, until he saw whatever he was supposed to see while down there. Scream after agonizing scream penetrated his soul and made him cover his ears and shrink back. Blood oozed down the walls of the tunnel of death. Isaac wanted to close his eyes so he wouldn’t have to witness the pain and destruction, but there was no such thing as a closed eye in hell. It was as if his eyes were permanently glued open. The punishment for coming to hell, after having so many chances to accept God, was not only the personal pain inflicted upon a person, nor was watching as others being tortured the worst thing about this place. The worst thing about being an inhabitant of a place like hell was knowing that there is a place of peace that would forever be off limits.

  Rejected and tormented souls were encased in the walls of the tunnel, anguishing their misery, as their silhouettes attempted to pierce through the muck and mire. Isaac desperately searched for an opening, but the tunnel was endless. With each turn, he was accosted by another tortured soul trying to pull its way out of the muck.

  “Why didn’t you tell us,” the silhouettes demanded of him over and over again.

  “Tell you what? I don’t even know you,” Isaac screamed at the voices.

  “Why didn’t you tell us about Jesus?”

  Isaac turned and looked in the face of Ton-Ton, a street hustler he had worked with back in the day. Ton-Ton had been tough. He didn’t take no mess. Isaac still remembered the Christmas massacre that earned Ton-Ton a ticket to death row.

  He turned and gasped as another hustler, who’d died in the game, accused him of neglect.

  “Why didn’t you tell us about Jesus?” More silhouettes pulled through the muck and showed their faces.

  “My God.” He remembered them all. Each one had died on the streets without knowing Jesus.

  “Why didn’t
you tell us,” they chanted again and again.

  “I didn’t know about Him when I knew you guys. All of you died before I accepted the Lord,” Isaac told them.

  Another face pulled through the muck. It was JC. Agony stretched across his face. “Why didn’t you tell me? I looked up to you.”

  Isaac recalled talking against JC to Donavan. “That boy is a thug. He’ll never amount to anything .” He’d told his son to stop hanging around him. Never once had Isaac gone out of his way to tell JC about God and His redeeming power. He fell down on his knees in the midst of his accusers and cried out, “Oh, Lord, forgive me. I got comfortable preaching in churches. Delivering your Word to people who don’t even want the truth, and I forgot about these people.”

  When Isaac awoke, he was sprawled out on the floor. His threshing floor. His sorrow was evident through his tears. In travail, he lamented for the people he had left behind. “If you are truly the God your Word says you are, then show me Your glory. Speak to my heart. Tell me what you want me to do.”

  A soft wind blew by him, but God was not in the wind. Thunder roared outside his window. No revelation came to him from that either. But as he continued to lie on the floor, with his mind made up to wait on God, he heard a still soft voice.

  Isaac, my son. You have found favor in my sight. You have ministered to my people, and you have loved my Word; but I have something against you.

  Isaac had taken numerous trips to hell. He’d witnessed his brother’s torment and held the knowledge that he could do nothing about it. He’d even fought with demons—in the natural and supernatural. But hearing the actual voice of God was no everyday occurrence for him. He was awed, bowled over by this new thing in his life. He thought he already knew why God was displeased with him. He thought God was upset because of that Glock he was holding a couple of weeks ago. But this was no time for guesswork. He kept his face to the ground. “Speak, Lord. What have I done?”