by Elle Casey
“Oh, hey, Charity.” He leans down and waves for a second before looking up at me. “We know each other already.”
“Hey, Julio,” she says. “Long time no see.”
He leans on the window opening, sticking his head just inside the car. “Where you been?”
“You know. Pregnant girl prison. Night school.”
“Aw, man. That sucks. Chemistry is completely boring without you in it.”
“Promise?”
“Swear.”
I smile at their easy banter. I wish I could talk to guys like Charity does.
“Yo, can I get a lift?” he asks. “My ride just dumped me for a better lookin’ dude.”
“Quin?” I ask. “She does that.”
“Yeah. Said she had to go knock some skulls or something. I didn’t want to get in the way of that.”
“I don’t blame you.” I’m thoroughly excited about being in the house alone. I’m totally going to take a bath and then walk around in my fuzzy robe without anyone bothering me.
Rat gets into the car with Charity.
“See you soon?” I ask.
She grins, much happier now that Rat is with her. Her face is even a little pink. I’m suddenly very happy that Quin left this man-boy behind.
“All good,” she says in a singsong voice. “I’ll call you. Stay healthy!” she yells as she pulls away from the curb.
CHAPTER TWENTY
I’M JUST GETTING OUT OF the bath when I hear a thumping outside. The bathroom window looks out over the front lawn, so I quickly wrap a towel around me, ignoring the fact that my belly doesn’t even come close to being covered, and peek out of the blinds.
I see nothing at first, but the sounds of footsteps on the front porch come again. Why doesn’t whoever that is ring the dang doorbell?
I get my answer or at least a good guess at an answer when I see a darkly-dressed figure come out from under the porch and round the side of the house.
Charlie?
Fear makes my heart feel like it’s about to explode. What does he want? Why is he here? How does he know where I live? None of the answers to those questions could possibly be good.
I grab my robe off the door hook and throw it on over my back. My towel drops to the floor and I just abandon it there. I have to get back to my room before … before … I don’t even know what. My worst nightmares have him breaking into the house and murdering me while I stand naked in the bathroom. It’s a ridiculous and probably crazy day-mare, but knowing this doesn’t change the fact that I feel like I’m running for my life as I waddle my penguin butt down the hallway.
Once inside my bedroom, I slam the door shut and lock it. Trembles take over my body as I work quickly to find some clean clothes to put on. I’m not even paying attention to what they are; I just want to cover myself as quickly as possible. If I’m going to die, let it be without my giant belly flopping all over the place.
I almost laugh at the ridiculousness of it. No one’s going to kill me. I haven’t done anything wrong. Being a stupid, naive girl isn’t against the law last time I checked.
This line of thinking doesn’t make me feel any better when the sound of a door slamming downstairs comes into my room.
I scan the small space I now feel trapped inside. Should I hide? Get a weapon? All I see are pillows, and there’s no way any guy intent on killing me is going to lie down and relax so I can suffocate him to death.
I nearly laugh out loud at myself over my paranoid thoughts. Charlie wouldn’t be coming over here to hurt me, right? But why is he coming here at all? This makes no sense. He doesn’t even know…
Someone is coming up the stairs. My bedroom is the first door he’ll reach.
I back up without even realizing it and only stop when my butt bangs into the dresser behind me.
The handle on my door rattles a couple times.
I can hear my heart beating in my eardrums; the sound is coming from inside my head.
A few seconds later, there’s a knock.
I hold my breath, waiting for his next move.
“Alissa? You asleep?”
All my pent up anxiety leaves with my breath in one big whoosh out of my lungs. I storm across the room and unlock the door, throwing it open with all the force of my distress.
“Colin?! What are you doing?!”
He leans way back with a frown. “Should I take that as a yes?”
“Arrrgh!” I back up a step so I can slam the door in his face. I get very little satisfaction from the loud bang.
My heart is going a mile a minute. I walk backwards to the edge of the bed and then angle myself up onto it. Closing my eyes and wrapping my forearms around my belly, I concentrate on slowing my breathing and controlling my blood pressure. The baby is flipping out, causing me to cramp a little. I think I just shot her up with pure adrenaline.
The door opens very slowly, and the sound makes me open my eyes. A portion of Colin’s face appears around the corner. “Is it safe to enter?”
“No. Go away.”
He pushes the door the rest of the way in and stands there. “Are you mad at me or something?”
I sigh heavily, now feeling just a tad more relaxed. “No. Yes.” I shake my head, trying to clear it. “No.”
“Oh.” He grins. “That makes things clear, doesn’t it?”
“Did you need something?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“I’m supposed to give you a ride.”
“A ride? A ride where? I wasn’t aware I had an appointment.”
“I guess Teagan just got back from her lawyer’s office, and she and Quin are over at Quin’s place. They were hoping you could come.”
I have to blink a few times and go over what he just said again in my head to make sure I understand. “They want me there?”
“Yeah. They said you’re a part of all of it and they want your opinion.”
“Oh. Okay. Well … I guess I could come.” I feel important. Needed. This is way better than thinking Charlie is about to kill me. I look down at myself and realize I did a poor job of dressing myself when I was in that panic. “I just need a second.”
“You going to change your clothes?”
“Yes. Why?” I cross my arms at the tone of his voice. I sense a joke coming.
“Because I was just wondering if color blindness is another one of those pregnancy symptoms.”
He’s out the door before I can nail him with my bed pillow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
COLIN AND I ARE ALMOST to Rebel Wheels when he changes the subject from the weather to his business.
“So, did you give any more thought to my offer?”
“What offer?” I’m playing dumb. I know exactly what he’s talking about. Now I feel a little guilty that I never asked anyone about Teagan’s case after Colin said something about her not being able to pay for it.
“To work for me. Part time.”
“Nope. I already told you. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Honestly?” I look at him, his profile making me feel all funny inside.
“Yes.”
“I can’t be around you like that. I have to just bide my time until the baby comes, have her, and then figure out my game plan. I need to have a permanent job, and I need to get away from here.”
He frowns, glancing at me a couple times before looking back out to the road. “You’re leaving? Why?”
“Just because.” I stare out the windshield, willing him not to ask me for details.
When he doesn’t, I get angry at myself for being sad about it. I just can’t win with him and it’s my fault. When I try to analyze why I keep pushing him away, the only thing I can come up with is that I figure it’s better if it’s me doing it now than him doing it to me later. No point in getting hooked on something that can never be and that will just end up as painful wreckage.
I’m about to become a mother; I cannot afford to just hand my heart over to someone who will most
certainly crush it. Besides … the idea of being with a guy again that way is terrifying. I’m not sure I could ever do that again.
We pull into Rebel Wheels and I get out, not waiting for Colin to come open my door. I move slower than I want to, because I know when I try to fast-walk, I waddle even worse than normal. I’m half afraid that Colin is going to catch up to me and try to talk to me again, but then as I’m going up the stairs, I see him moving over to his workbench. He isn’t even looking at me, and it makes me want to cry.
I’m afraid if I don’t have this baby soon and get rid of these pregnancy hormones, I’m going to go insane.
I open the door to Mick and Quin’s apartment and find Quin, Teagan, and Rebel in the living room. Teagan’s eyes are dark, and Quin is pacing. I don’t have to hear a single word to know she’s angry.
“Good, you’re here,” Quin says. She stops pacing, leans over and grabs some papers off the table, and then hands them to me. “What do you think about all this?”
I take the papers from her and look first at Teagan before I start reading. “Is it okay with you?”
She nods.
I read the letter from her attorney and then glance at the papers below. “This looks like a bill,” I say.
“Yes, it is a bill. A bit fat one,” says Quin. “Can you believe that?”
“I thought they said they would wait to be paid.” I look to Teagan for answers.
“I guess there were some conditions to that,” she says.
I look back at the paper. “They want twenty thousand dollars? Do you have that much money?”
Teagan shakes her head. “Not even close.”
I glance at Rebel before looking back at her. “Can you borrow it from someone?”
She shakes her head again but doesn’t say anything.
Quin jumps in to respond. “Rebel isn’t the full owner of Rebel Wheels. Olga loaned him some money to start it and she decides where their profits go. Rebel has reinvested all his personal money back into expanding the business, so he doesn’t have anything to loan Teagan.” She looks over at him. “Sorry for sharing your shit, but she needs to know so we can talk to her about it.”
He nods, but says nothing out loud. I cannot read his expression other than to see that he’s not happy.
“What do you want me to say?” I ask, looking at all of them in turn. “If I had anything at all, I’d give it to you, but I don’t.”
“Are you saying that if you could do something to help Teagan, you would?” Quin asks. She folds her arms across her chest.
“Yes, I’m saying that.” I raise my chin a little at her challenging tone.
“No matter what?” Quin says.
“Quin … don’t,” Teagan says. Her request lacks the strength I’m used to hearing from her.
“What’s going on?” I ask, my suspicion taking over. I’m being tricked into something, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t have a single dime, so I know they’re not asking me for money.
“It’s all good news,” Quin says, suddenly smiling. “Teagan desperately needs help, and you’re the only one in a position to help her.”
“I doubt that,” I say, almost laughing. “Unless you want me to sell my baby, which I’m not going to do.” I narrow my eyes at her. If she asks me to sell my baby, I’m leaving and never coming back.
“You didn’t really just say that,” says Quin.
I shrug. “I never know with you guys. You’re crazy.”
Quin gives me an evil smile. “Crazy like a fox.” She pauses a few seconds before delivering the news. “We need you to work for Colin so he can loan Teagan some money.”
I snort. “Yeah, right.” Another hare-brained idea, courtesy of Quin, no doubt.
Quin and Teagan just stare at me.
“What?” I look from one to the other. “Are you serious?”
“Deadly so,” says Quin.
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not … that makes no sense. You go work for him.” I put the papers back down on the table and step back on my way to leaving the room.
Quin shrugs. “Would if I could, but I can’t.”
“Why not?” My voice is going up in volume, but I can’t stop it. I’m losing my temper because they’re backing me into a corner. I’m stuck and everyone knows it.
“Because, my mom and Jersey need lots of physical therapy. I have to take them everywhere and I have to take care of my sisters and the house and the meals and all that other crap. I already have a full time job.”
“What about you?” I ask, gesturing to Teagan. “You could just make a few phone calls or whatever he needs.”
“He needs more than that, and I have to work for Rebel. He needs me full time.”
I’m standing there with my mouth hanging open when Colin walks in.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
My mouth snaps shut and I glare at him.
“Did I do something?” He takes a step back as if he’s going to reverse himself right out of the apartment.
“Yes, apparently, you did.”
“What?”
“You are blackmailing me into working for you, and getting your family to guilt me into it!” I throw my arms up and let them come down to hit my thighs. “How rude can you be?”
“What?” He walks fully into the room and stares at everyone. He doesn’t look happy.
“Yeah. Nice try, by the way,” I say in the most sarcastic tone I can muster. Like he’s all innocent. Please. “Low blow, even for you, Colin.”
He holds up a hand in my direction. “Listen, I don’t know what anyone in this room has said to you, but I didn’t ask them to say anything.” He glares at Teagan.
“I didn’t say anything!” she yells. “You think I want to push her into helping me? Jesus. If she doesn’t want to do it, she doesn’t want to do it.”
“It’s me, Colin, not Teagan. Don’t get mad at her.” Quin glares at me. “I just thought Alissa would want to help the people who’ve been helping her, but I guess I was wrong about that. My bad.”
My hands fly to my hips. “Now wait a second…”
Colin looks right at me. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ve already told the galleries it’s a no-go, and I don’t need you to work for me anyway, so just go on about your business.” He leaves the apartment without another word and the room goes completely silent.
My face burns with shame. I’m standing here inside a circle of friends who have done nothing but provide for me, and all I’m doing is saying no to everything they ask of me. What kind of person am I turning into? What’s happened to me?
Tears rush to my eyes and start to overflow down my cheeks. I look at Teagan. “I’m going to fix this,” I say, my voice catching in my throat.
“Don’t worry about it,” she says. She sounds exhausted. “I’m just going to call it all off.”
I grab the papers off the table and hug them to my chest. “No. Don’t do that. I’ll be right back.” I rush out of the room, on a mission. I have to make this right. I have to fix what I broke. I cannot let all these people down. They’re the only family I have right now, and they don’t even have to be. They’ve chosen me, so now, I have to choose them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“COLIN … WAIT!” I YELL, AS he disappears into the office. I’m at the top of the stairs, gripping the railing with one hand while my other holds Teagan’s papers against my chest. “I need to talk to you.” Tears blur my vision.
I can’t see the stairs very well and miss one with my right foot. The sensation of falling with nowhere to go fills my heart with dread. I scream as I feel myself heading downwards.
My right hand shoots out and grabs for something, anything. Papers go flying around my head. I find the railing with my fingers and grip on with everything I have.
My body swings to the left with the momentum of gravity and lack of balance and my belly bangs into the railing hard. My arm is behind me, twisted in a very uncomfortable position, bu
t it’s the only thing keeping me from tumbling head over belly to the ground below so I don’t want to let go.
I try to keep my grip, but my sweaty palm makes that impossible. My hand slips off the railing and I’m heading down the stairs again. My body rolls sideways and I’ve got the railing at my back. I’m just a step away from releasing my other hand as my wrist twists around painfully.
Suddenly, Colin is there. His body is like a wall, stopping me from going any farther. I freeze in place, getting my breath back, looking up at the top of the stairs. Several faces are there, staring down at me with shocked expressions.
“I’m okay!” I say, nearly breathless. “I’m okay.” I pull on the railing and stand up straighter as Colin supports me at my back. I can still feel the warmth of his body pressed into my skin. I’m not sure if my inability to breathe is from that or all the unintended exercise I just did.
“Wow. That was a close one.” I feel ridiculously lucky right now. Lucky and embarrassed; I’m not sure that I’ve ever been less graceful in my entire life.
“You sure? You hit yourself pretty hard,” Colin says.
I turn around and see his worried face right next to mine. “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks to you.” I wave up at my audience, hoping they’ll leave me to my embarrassment. “Nothing to see here. I’m good.”
“Horror-movie-worthy scream, though,” says Quin, smiling.
Teagan and Rebel disappear into the shadows behind them without saying anything.
I nod and wave at Quin before turning around to face down the stairs again. “I’m going to try this one more time.” I hang on tight to the railing as Colin hovers nearby. My legs are shaking and I’m pretty sure I’m about to pee myself. It’s some kind of miracle that I haven’t already.
“I need to get those papers,” I say, trying to distract myself from my problems. I gesture to the lawyer’s letter and attached financial data that is now spread out over the floor beneath the metal staircase.
