We Can Laugh Together Too (Walnut Grove Trilogy)

by Cindy Baker

  Breathless, she looked up at him with all the calm she could muster. “You can’t be punished for your feelings, Matt; I can’t do that to you. My world, as I knew it, fell apart when Will died, but you’re right, I mustn’t shut myself away from normal human contact and emotions; it’s not a good example to set for Chrissy.”

  “I agree,” he said solemnly. He looked at her for another long, lingering moment, before throwing caution to the winds. With the gentlest possible touch, he kissed her lips. She trembled but didn’t protest. Emboldened, he allowed his lips to linger, their pressure increase.

  As first kisses often are, it was sweet and chaste. They each understood how it carried them both forward into a whole new covenant in their relationship; they could never return to the platonic companionship which had until then bound them. They were venturing into uncharted territory.

  When at last they drew apart, Matt felt an innate sense of joi de vivre; he couldn’t remember being so happy. Equally, the absolute contentment Livi experienced caught her completely unawares.

  Matt quickly clambered to his feet and offered his hand to help Livi up. “Come on, we’d best be getting back,” he said, fully aware that he dared not, at that point, push her any further.

  Smiling, she kept a hold of his hand and they walked back across the paddock, the dogs gamboling at their sides.

  At the paddock next to the barn, they paused to check on the wellbeing of its inmates. Congeniality, Livi’s oldest and favorite broodmare nickered anxiously over the gate for a carrot and nuzzled into them, her big luminous eyes following their every move, her warm breath blowing into their faces. Meanwhile her foal slumbered undisturbed in the grass behind her. The other mares, anticipating treats, quickly joined the gathering.

  “Don’t you think her name suits her?” she asked. “She’s so good natured.”

  Matt chuckled. “The whole farm’s full of congeniality. Every time I see him, Isidoro tells me how well he and his family have settled in. I don’t think he believes their luck, you’d think they’d won the lottery.”

  “Does he really say that? I’m so pleased; he’s a nice guy, and Rosa’s charming. He doesn’t know too much about thoroughbreds, but he’s had a good grounding with quarter horses and he’s a good all-around horseman. In fact, he’s fitted in here beautifully.”

  “Delighted to hear it.” Matt took a handful of carrots from a sack propped next to the gate and distributed them among the eager recipients. “Come on, everyone’s fine; let’s leave them in peace for the night.”

  His pickup truck was still parked alongside the barn and when they reached it, Matt put his hands gently on Livi’s shoulders and drew her towards him. “I’m going to leave,” he said unexpectedly. “I think you’ve had enough of me for one night.”

  She couldn’t disguise her surprise. “Are you sure? Come into the house and have a drink.”

  “No, it’s best if I go. But I’ll be back after work tomorrow — if I’m still welcome.”

  Livi’s smile was all the answer he required.

  ♠ ♠ ♠

  As it happened, Matt didn’t, after all, return the next evening; two emergencies at the veterinary clinic kept both himself and Doc Blair busy until the small hours. He called Livi to make his apologies, and she teased him gently. “I guess it’s something I’ll have to get used to, vets and doctors are notoriously bad dating material.”

  He was relieved to recognize the teasing good humor in her voice. “I’m really sorry and I’ll try to make it up to you tomorrow. We’ll go out to dinner, think of somewhere nice.”

  So Livi and Chrissy ate quietly alone, and afterwards Livi devoted a couple of hours to catching up on the farm’s paperwork, before doing some online research for the article she was writing.

  Later, when she took the two dogs outside before going to bed, she stood by the pond and fountain Will had built and listened to the sounds of the night. She felt she ought to be consumed with guilt and self-recrimination over what had taken place the evening before, but by definition, guilt implied wrong-doing, and despite what her head was telling her, her heart insisted Matt was the best thing to have happened to her in a long time.

  That she was attracted to him was undeniable. She pictured his startling blue eyes and curly brown hair, his air of dependability, and smiled to herself. They were two lonely people, both damaged by life’s capricious incidences. Was the uncomplicated pleasure they were deriving from each other’s company improper or unseemly? Of course it wasn’t. She was greatly impressed by Matt’s consideration for her conflicting emotions. Many men would have pushed her further, but he had demonstrated commendable understanding and restraint.

  And maybe most unnerving was his declaration of love for her. He was right when he’d said we don’t choose who we fall in love with. Emotions such as love are completely unanticipated — they tend to creep up on you and catch you unawares.

  For herself, Livi now accepted the unmistakable affinity she felt toward Matt, but was it more than that? She honestly wasn’t sure; her feelings were in complete turmoil. She had many profound regrets; her marriage had been supremely happy, yet she felt a deep sadness for all the carelessly discarded yesterdays; now gone forever.

  A breeze fidgeted through a nearby eucalyptus and over her bare arms, causing her to shiver slightly. Reluctantly she dragged her thoughts back from the indefinable route they had been following, and calling the two dogs, headed back to the house.

  ♠ ♠ ♠

  Matt arrived the next evening looking exhausted. When Livi voiced her concern, he smiled wearily. “I only got a couple of hours sleep last night, or should I say this morning,” he admitted. “Then I had a full day today.”

  “In which case, you can forget about eating out,” she told him briskly. “Sit down and I’ll throw something together for us to eat.”

  He sat down at the kitchen table and she vanished into the larder, appearing again a short time later armed with ingredients. “How does linguine with bacon, baby spinach and sage sound?” she inquired.

  “Like manna,” he admitted.

  “Good.” She dumped everything on the table, and eyed him speculatively. “How about a drink while I’m cooking? Beer, or would you prefer something stronger?”

  “Anything stronger than a beer will most likely knock me unconscious,” he said, so she fetched two bottles from the fridge and placed one in front of him, then put a big pan of water on the stove for the pasta and began dicing onions and bacon and washing the spinach.

  Matt watched with undisguised affection as she worked. “Vets and doctors,” he said suddenly.

  She stopped what she was doing and eyed him quizzically. “Sorry . . ?”

  “Just reminding you of what you told me — vets and doctors make lousy dinner dates.”

  “That’s not what I said,” she protested, laughing. “And besides I was just teasing. I completely understood that an emergency takes precedence over everything. What was it anyway?”

  A bad foaling. We lost the mare unfortunately, and had to find a foster mother for the foal. The guy was dreadfully upset because the mare had been a family pet and he and his wife thought it would be fun to breed just one foal from her.”

  Livi was dismayed. “How dreadful -- for them and for you. I’m so sorry Matt.”

  He shrugged and sipped his beer. “An unfortunate part of the job I’m afraid. Where’s Chrissy by the way?”

  “She’s eating at Isidoro’s. When I mentioned to him that we planned to go out, he invited her over. She and Katia have become good friends and Isidoro’s so thoughtful, he’s going to check on the horses tonight and he said he’ll walk her home when he does.”

  “I’m pleased he’s working out so well.” He hesitated before continuing, “I sounded Doc Blair out more directly yesterday about a partnership, but as I suspected, he has no immediate plans to retire, and neither does he have any expectations of expanding the practice. It seems to be a dead end.”

&
nbsp; Livi put down the skillet in which she’d been crisping the bacon pieces. “Oh, hell. Well, we’ll just have to think of something else. There are other equine veterinary practices.”

  Matt was going to tell her that he’d already made a few ineffectual inquiries along those lines, but decided against it. No need to be the bearer of too much doom and gloom. Instead, he watched her putting the finishing touches to their meal, savoring the enticing aroma of bacon and onions and herbs.

  Immediately Livi put his plate in front of him, Matt realized he was starving and tucked into his food with relish; he’d had no breakfast and only snatched a sandwich for lunch. Everything vanished rapidly and with an empty plate before him, he leaned back in his chair contentedly. “Thank you; I needed that.”

  She smiled, “You don’t look so tired now anyway. It sounds as if Doc Blair’s taking advantage of you.”

  He shrugged, “Not really, we’ve just had a busy week. But,” he eyed her tentatively, “I’ve got this coming weekend off, so how about we plan something?”

  “Such as . . ?”

  “You tell me. Something you’d really like to do. Something completely crazy maybe.”

  She met his gaze, but saw nothing to alarm her. “Something completely crazy? Okay . . . for years I’ve had a secret hankering to take the Amtrack Coast Starlight north — not all the way to Canada of course — just for two or three hours. I know it would be spectacular.”

  “That easy?” Matt beamed with delight. “Your wish is my command ma’am. I’ll make the arrangements tomorrow.”

  Livi was completely taken aback. “Are you serious? Just like that? Oh, it’ll be wonderful; the scenery the train passes through is fabulous! A friend of mine is a travel writer and she’s taken the train between San Diego and Oakland several times, but she’s always said the best parts are between San Diego and LA and Oxnard and San Luis Obispo.”

  Her mind began to race as she thought of the preparations she needed to make: Chrissy would have to stay somewhere; she would ask Isidoro to take care of the dogs and check the horses both evenings . . .

  “Let’s go sit in the snug,” she said. “We’ll get the train in Santa Barbara, but we’ll look at some maps and decide how far north we should go.”

  Her evident pleasure at the enticing prospect of their weekend together delighted Matt. As they left the kitchen, he collected two more beers from the fridge and followed her across the hall into the comfortable little room she referred to as the ‘snug’. It was essentially an entertainment room, with a wall-mounted, big-screen TV facing a cozy, welcoming sofa, a good stereo system, and two more walls lined with bookshelves, packed to overflowing.

  Livi quickly located the maps they needed and plumped down on the sofa next to him, opening them up across their knees. “See — from Oxnard all the way north to San Luis the route hugs the coast, then it cuts inland.”

  “How does this sound?” Matt asked cautiously. “Saturday morning, we take the train to San Luis Obispo, spend the night there, then, on Sunday afternoon, catch the train back to Santa Barbara. And . . .” before she could voice the obvious objection, “Don’t worry, I’ll book separate rooms for us. I want this to be a fun weekend we’ll both remember for years to come, not a complete disaster.”

  She was moved by his regard for her feelings. “It will be just perfect! Thank you Matt, I can hardly wait.” Spontaneously, almost before she fully realized what she was doing, she turned and kissed him. The maps slipped unnoticed to the floor as he embraced her and drew her to him, but again he displayed restraint and reluctantly relaxed his embrace after just a few seconds.

  “Neither can I,” he admitted. “I’m really pleased I shall be making one of your wishes come true.”

  As he spoke, they heard the sound of the kitchen door opening and footsteps clattering across the tiled floor. Chrissy, closely followed by Katia and Isidoro appeared in the doorway.

  “What happened?” Chrissy asked breathlessly. “I thought you were eating out.”

  “Change of plans,” Matt replied, smiling “Your Mom decided I looked too haggard and worn-out to be seen with in public, so she cooked for us instead.”

  Livi gave his arm a playful punch. “Take no notice of him. There was no way I was going to drag him out, the poor guy’s exhausted. But -- while you’re here Isidoro . . .”

  She explained about their upcoming plans, and somewhat embarrassed, Isidoro confessed that he and Rosa hadn’t yet been able to furnish their spare room, but they quickly reached a compromise: his wife and daughter would stay here in the house with Chrissy and the two dogs. Livi was pleased with this arrangement; it looked like it was shaping up to be a perfect weekend.

  ♠ ♠ ♠

  True to his word, the following day, Matt made all the necessary reservations, including two rooms at the Spyglass Inn overlooking Shell Beach. He also rented a car. “We can’t walk from the station to the hotel,” he observed dryly. Their train north would depart from Santa Barbara at 12:40 pm the next day.

  Livi spent Friday in a whirlwind of activity, preparing bedrooms for Rosa and her daughter, shopping, cooking, putting the finishing touches to the commissioned article she’d been working on, and finally, packing an overnight bag.

  CHAPTER THREE

  On Saturday, Matt arrived to pick her up in his SUV a little before eleven o’clock. Livi climbed into the passenger seat feeling ridiculously excited. He took one look at her face and beamed with pleasure. “You look exactly how I feel,” he admitted with a boyish grin.

  “I woke up this morning with a horrible feeling you were going to call to say you had an emergency,” she confessed. “You don’t know how relieved I was when I saw you coming up the drive.”

  Matt squeezed her arm. “Doc Blair wouldn’t be that mean. He was in the office when I made the reservations and said he hoped we have a good weekend. He likes you a lot, you know.”

  “He’s a nice guy, so is Doc Massey. I’m just surprised, considering how busy you’ve been of late, he’s not considering taking on another partner. When is Doc Massey due back?”

  “Two weeks on Wednesday,” Matt replied. “And my contract finishes that weekend. But come on, this is going to be a fun weekend for us both, and I don’t want to talk work, please.”

  They drove down the 101 to Santa Barbara, then down State Street to the exquisitely beautiful, Spanish style train station. Plenty of parking was available and in no time Matt had picked up their tickets and they were standing on the platform with ten minutes to spare.

  The wailing horn long preceded the big Superliner’s arrival and it drew into the station with headlights flashing and bell ringing. Its sheer power and majesty brought a lump to Livi’s throat.

  On board and greeted by the conductor, she discovered Matt had reserved two roomy seats in the upper level with magnificent views through panoramic picture windows out across the Pacific Ocean. The track had been laid right next to the shoreline and as her travel writer friend told her, many of the arrestingly beautiful Central Coast sights are inaccessible by car, or even on foot, and consequently can only be seen from a train.

  Livi was enchanted; she felt like royalty, sitting in a wide, reclining seat, gazing out from her lofty perspective. Not intending to miss anything, she kept sneaking glances inland as well, catching views of familiar, sun-bleached, rolling hills, grazing cows, horses, and a multitude of RVs parked in state parks and in authorized spaces along the coastal road.

  Half an hour into their journey, Matt (who had been scanning a leaflet he picked up in the ticket office), suggested a trip to the Parlour Car with comfy, swivel seats, where he ordered a bottle of champagne, poured for them by a friendly steward. Lunch was being served in the dining car, but they opted instead for a sandwich from the bar; neither of them intended to waste a moment of their journey distracted by eating while missing the idyllic scenery. The steward placed a bowl of fruit, moist towelettes and napkins on their table, adding to Livi’s innate sense she had
been transplanted to a life amongst royalty.

  Before they’d completely emptied the champagne bottle, they carried it back to their coach seats. Matt filled their glasses and studied Livi’s face. “Enjoying yourself?” he asked.

  She stretched languorously like a supremely contented cat. “You bet I am. This is shaping up to be my best weekend since . . .” she stopped abruptly and modified her thoughts, “. . . for many months.”

  “Great. I really want it to be special for us both. Goodness knows, I think we’re both overdue a couple of days of fun. I’ve got this really strange feeling that since we first met, fate intended we should be sitting here together now, on this train.”

  Livi regarded him affectionately, “Wow, that’s profound, but I know what you mean, sometimes fate really seems to take control and turn simple situations into life changing events. Who would have thought when you came that first morning to check on Ultimate Event’s foal, a few weeks later we’d be off together on a trip like this?”

  “I did, not a train ride specifically of course, but for weeks, I’ve spent big chunks of my time daydreaming about you. I never really believed something like this would actually happen though, this is why I think it must be fate.”

  All too soon they arrived, horn wailing, in San Luis Obispo. While they were still several minutes out, Matt called the rental company and they only needed to wait briefly at the station entrance before their car arrived. They dropped the driver back at the rental office, and following his directions, set off through rolling hills on the quick, ten mile drive to Shell Beach.

  The location of the Spyglass Inn could not be surpassed — framed by the backdrop of the Pacific Ocean, white sandy beaches stretching into the distance, and the oat-colored, rolling hills so typical of California. It was perfect.

  They checked in and were directed to their adjacent rooms, both with balconies and outstanding ocean vistas. At the door to her room, Matt was suddenly almost shy. “Go and freshen up, then give me a knock when you’re ready; we’ll go for a walk.”