Dead Ice

by Laurell K. Hamilton

  Dev's breath came out in a sharp hiss, and he swayed a little, letting the other men keep him on his knees. I'd been safe behind my shields for the most part, but I held my hand out.

  She looked at me. "You want the knife?"

  "Yeah."

  Dr. Lillian looked at me. "Why do you want it?"

  "I'm going to give it back to Thorn."

  "Don't do anything foolish."

  "Just making a point," I said, and after a moment's hesitation she let me take the bloody knife from her hand.

  I went to where Fortune and Echo still had Thorn on his knees with his arms damn near dislocated. At six feet plus he was tall enough, or I was short enough, that with him kneeling we had good eye contact. "Did you forget that stabbing Dev would hurt me, too?"

  He hesitated, and the women made him hurt a little more, so he answered, "Yes."

  "So you forgot that he was my animal to call, just having touched the power we share?"

  He looked sullen. "I didn't think."

  "That is part of your problem, Thorn, you don't think. You react, you let your temper best you, but you don't think. I'm going to make a point that I hope helps you think more clearly in the future before doing something stupid."

  His eyes flicked to the blade in my hand.

  "Nice knife, good balance," I said, as I tested the hilt in my hand.

  "Thanks," he said, but he didn't sound certain now. Good.

  I plunged the blade into his side; I didn't hit a rib, so it went in nice and fast, all the way to the hilt, the way he'd planned on hurting Dev. Echo and Fortune eased down on his arms so he could react to it. I got close to his surprised face and said, "If you ever forget again what is mine, and harm Dev, or any of my animals to call, outside a practice ring, I will give you your blade again, but it will go in a little higher and more to the center, are we clear on that?"

  His voice came out between gritted teeth, breathy in a I-will-not-scream way. "Yes."

  "Yes, what?" Echo said.

  "Yes, ma'am."

  "Try again," she said.

  "Yes . . . my queen."

  "That's better," Echo said.

  I nodded. "Yeah, that's better." I pulled the knife out hard and fast. He whimpered for me.

  I stared down at him with his blood staining the blade and mingling with Dev's. "There won't be a second warning, Thorn, do you understand that?"

  He swallowed, nodded, stopped like it hurt, and finally said, "Yes, I understand."

  "Take him out of my sight for a while, before I decide to give him his blade again."

  They forced him to his feet and Echo said, "I like you."

  I smiled and shook my head. "I don't dislike you, but I don't know if I like you yet."

  She smiled at me. "Oh, now I know I like you."

  "Aren't you going to let the doctor look at me?" Thorn asked.

  "You'll heal," I said. "Get him out of here."

  Fortune said, "As our queen wishes."

  "Whatever she desires," Echo said.

  I raised an eyebrow at her. "Violence do it for you, or was it the ruthlessness?"

  "Both," she said, and gave me a look that I was more used to seeing on a man's face. Once it would have freaked me out, but standing there with the bloody knife in my hand I knew that a little girl-on-girl flirting was so not that big a deal. I cleaned the blade off on a clean part of Dev's shirt and offered him the blade hilt-first.

  He looked at it and then up at me.

  "Think of it as a present from your cousin Thorn."

  "He won't like you giving me one of his favorite knives."

  "I want him to see you carrying it. I want it to remind him that if he pulls this shit again I will end him now and forever."

  Dev took the blade from me, nodding. "I'm healing already, Anita."

  "You know how you growled at him, 'Mine'?"

  "Yes."

  I put my hand on the back of Dev's neck, just under the hair where the skin was so warm, and brought him down so our foreheads touched. "Mine."

  He smiled then, and moved in for a kiss, which I gave him. "Yours," he said, as he pulled back.

  "Damn straight."

  22

  ONCE A WEEK we tried to eat dinner like a family at the Circus of the Damned. The small table that Jean-Claude had put into Nathaniel's dream kitchen wasn't big enough for everyone. We'd tried to do it in the formal dining room that Jean-Claude kept for more serious occasions like visiting master vampires, but that was too far away from the kitchen for the cooks, so we turned one of the smaller bedrooms nearby into a bigger but still-cozy dining room. Tonight hadn't been planned for one of the meals, but Nathaniel had said, "We all need to give Dev energy to heal, and that takes fuel. Food is the easiest way to fuel up. Give us thirty minutes and it'll all be ready."

  "It wasn't silver, he'll be healed in minutes," Doc Lillian said.

  "Anita could heal me and give me extra energy besides," Dev said, his arms sliding a little more solidly around me, our bodies suddenly pressed tighter together. I was about to say, You're hurt, but others spoke for me.

  "What would Asher say about that, mon ami?" Jean-Claude asked.

  "I'm allowed to be food in emergencies."

  "What would Kane say?" Nathaniel asked.

  Dev scowled and rested his face against the top of my head.

  I moved him enough so I could look up into his face. "Why does Kane have more say over you than Asher does?"

  Dev sighed and hugged me tighter, not in a sexy way, but just holding on for comfort. "It's complicated," he said finally in a voice that let me know that complicated translated to sad and frustrating.

  "Explain it to Anita while we get dinner ready," Nathaniel said.

  Micah came to stand near us. "How long will it take to fix?"

  "Thirty minutes tops; the chicken is already marinated and we're just steaming veggies."

  "Please tell me there's a carb of some kind," Domino said.

  Nicky answered, "No, if you want carbohydrates have them at lunch."

  "It's not my fault that your metabolism can't digest potatoes," he said, frowning a little, but smiling to take the edge off it.

  "Have potatoes at lunch," Crispin said. "Most of us have to take our clothes off onstage. No carbs at dinner."

  "Nicky doesn't strip," Domino protested.

  "Nathaniel does," Nicky said.

  "What's that got to do with you?"

  Nicky gave Domino a flat, unfriendly look.

  "What?"

  "I'm the main cook," Nathaniel said. "If you want different food, you plan the week's menu, do the grocery shopping, and prep the meals."

  Domino held his hands up. "You win; I am so not that domestically talented. I can't even sous chef the way Nicky and Cynric can."

  Micah slid his arm across my shoulders. Dev moved his arm enough so they could both touch me without touching each other. For some of the men it was a sign that they didn't touch other men, but for others it was a sign of respect. Since Dev was cheerfully bisexual, he moved because he knew Micah didn't touch other men casually, and Micah was their leader. If the leader wants to hug his fiancee, then you move so he can, even if you are one of her lovers. Poly isn't about being completely fair for most people. There are some who run it with a near perfect equality, but for most of us there are primary relationships, there are secondary, and even ones less serious than that. If we'd been touching Dev and Asher came, I'd have made room for him, because Dev was one of his primary relationships, but he was a tertiary for me, at best.

  "Before dinner, Anita, Jean-Claude, and I need to talk with some of the weretigers."

  I glanced at him and so did Dev. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked.

  Micah smiled. "No, Dev, you didn't do anything wrong, but you are included in the talk."

  "Weretigers that are connected to us already, or new ones?" I asked.

  "No new ones, not yet."

  "You have but to ask, mon chat," Jean-Claude said.
<
br />   Micah picked the tigers he wanted, and we all trusted him enough to believe he'd explain when we had some privacy. There was a time in my life when I wouldn't have trusted anyone that much, but Micah had earned it from me, from Jean-Claude, from all of us. The fact that no one argued or even questioned the request proved that. We just all trooped off to his office here in the underground. It was newer than even the dining room remodel, but it was the only room that had a table with enough chairs for everyone, besides the dining rooms. Before the office was put in, most group meetings had been in Jean-Claude's bedroom, and you sat either on the floor or on the bed once the two chairs by the fireplace were taken.

  But now we all got to sit around the oval table in the conference room area off the office. It had a desk that Micah actually used sometimes, but I found him most often sitting at the far end of the big table with papers spread out in front of him, or with a bunch of other shapeshifters talking Coalition business. The desk was beautiful, but it was almost untouched. The table was the office for Micah.

  Micah, Jean-Claude, and I ended up sitting at the far end of the oval with me in the middle so that I could lay a hand on Jean-Claude's thigh and hold Micah's hand. Jean-Claude's arm was across my shoulders so that his hand rested on the back of Micah's shoulders. Dev sat beside Micah, who he wasn't that close to, but tonight he seemed to huddle near him, not touching, because Micah didn't let just anyone touch him casually, unless they were part of our pard. Other flavors of animal had to earn the right to casual touching from Micah. Come to that, neither did Jean-Claude and I, but Dev was on my touching list. Domino and Crispin were on the side by Jean-Claude but had given themselves a seat between so they weren't crowding him. Dev was as close to Micah as he could get and not touch him. He kept rubbing his hands on the tabletop as if trying to memorize the grain of the wood with his fingertips. I didn't have to lower my metaphysical shields to know he was nervous. I didn't think it was the fight with Thorn, or even the injury; they'd been raised together. Think about the fights you used to have with your siblings, now what if you could heal almost any injury; yeah, that kind of vicious squabbling had been pretty normal for them growing up. Dev even had a scar on his back from a silver knife used in practice with Thorn years before we met them. So what was wrong? My bet was it was something to do with Asher, Kane, and Dev's dynamics, but matters of the heart were going to have to wait until later; right now it was metaphysics time.

  "When Anita and I touched Dev together, you felt the power?" Micah asked.

  Jean-Claude said, "Oui, it was like the first time you touched him together. I assume it isn't always like that between the three of you."

  "I don't know," Micah said.

  Jean-Claude frowned slightly. "How can you not know? If it happened every time you touched each other, I know you would have mentioned it to me. So it is a rare occurrence."

  "This is only the second time it's happened," I said.

  "Very rare then," he said.

  Micah shook his head, his long ponytail catching slightly under Jean-Claude's arm. "This is only the second time that Anita and I have touched Dev."

  Jean-Claude frowned a little more. "But I know Anita has had sex with Dev and you in the bed more than just that first night."

  "I've touched Anita while Dev has touched her, but tonight was only the second time she and I have touched Dev; do you see the difference?"

  Jean-Claude did the long blink, his face pleasant and unreadable; it was his version of blank cop face. Even his leg had gone very still under my hand, as if he were holding more than just his breath. Older vampires could almost suspend movement, as if all the "being alive" could just stop.

  He blinked again, and it was as if someone had hit the on switch. He took a breath and said, "Are you saying that you have never, even accidentally, touched Dev at the same time he was touching Anita, even during sex?"

  "Yes."

  Jean-Claude looked at me; it was an eloquent look.

  "Dev and I haven't had sex that often. Asher is too insecure when his male lovers want to bed women, you know that."

  "He has been working that issue, but yes, he is more insecure around bisexual men. Heterosexuals he sees as a challenge to seduce, but with bisexuals he thinks he is simply not enough to keep them entertained."

  "Which is just weird, because he likes women, too," I said.

  "Emotional issues are seldom logical, ma petite."

  "You know, you're all talking like Dev can't hear you, and he's right there," Crispin said. It made me look from the tall, slender dancer to Dev, whose hands were still trying to rub a hole through the tabletop.

  "I'm sorry, Dev," I said.

  "Thank you, Crispin," Micah said, "you're right."

  Dev didn't look at anyone.

  "Dev," I said, "what's wrong?"

  He just shook his head.

  "Kane has become even more possessive lately," Jean-Claude said.

  I glanced at him. "He has already forbidden Asher any women but me, and even then only when we were with you, Richard, or Nathaniel. What other restrictions did he put in place?"

  "Kane says that I don't meet any needs that he can't meet for Asher. Nathaniel and you meet his need to dominate in the bedroom and dungeon. Richard meets his need to be dominated in the dungeon." Dev looked up, and there was such raw pain on his face. "I know Kane tried to forbid Asher your bed, too, Jean-Claude."

  "I did not tolerate it. Kane needed to remember his place."

  Dev nodded a little too often and too quickly. "Yeah, you and Asher have been an item for a few hundred years, and you're the king, so Kane had to eat that jealousy, but I'm new and I'm no one's king."

  "Are you saying that Asher has allowed Kane to cast you out as his lover?"

  "Almost."

  "What does 'almost' mean?" I asked.

  "I'm getting less and less sex from Asher and every time we do, Kane throws a huge fit. I'm pretty sure that Asher loves me, but not enough to put up with the emotional . . ." Dev spread his big hands as if he couldn't find the words.

  "Over the centuries it has been Asher who made the emotional cost too high with others for me. I did not always give in, because I found that there would always be more jealousy, but now it seems Asher has found his match in Kane."

  "I was ready to marry Asher," Dev said.

  I reached across Micah and patted Dev's hand. "I know, and I'm sorry he's being a shit."

  "It's not him, it's Kane."

  I took my hand back and didn't say anything, but I knew from experience with other people that no one can be a shit unless the other person tolerates it, so it was still Asher's responsibility to run his relationships better than this.

  "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

  "I thought we'd work it out, but Asher only loves one person enough to fight for them and that's Jean-Claude."

  "And the fact that I do not want Asher to be my primary relationship hurts him," Jean-Claude said.

  Dev nodded. "Yeah."

  "Maybe it's time to let Asher find a territory where he can be Master of the City away from the rest of us," Micah said.

  I felt Jean-Claude startle, which didn't happen often; he was too controlled for it. "We have had this discussion. Asher has won the libido, if not the heart, of Narcissus, who controls the St. Louis werehyenas. They have vowed to move with Asher if he goes, and the hyenas are a large part of our guards."

  "Not as much as they were. Rafael, Richard, and I have slowly been working the rats, wolves, and other animal groups up to size and skill set. Give me a few weeks more and the werehyenas can do as they like."

  Jean-Claude, Dev, and I stared at him. Crispin and Domino didn't. Only three of us at the table hadn't known this little plan. Domino traveled out of town as security for Micah, but I hadn't thought he was that close to Crispin, and that was interesting. Richard Zeeman, who was the local Ulfric, wolf king, was usually useless when it came to choosing new wolves for his pack who could actually help us fight bett
er.

  "Have you really been plotting to remove Asher from St. Louis, mon chat?"

  "He's proved himself unstable on multiple occasions and used the threat of removing the hyenas from us to emotionally blackmail you and Anita. I thought it was a good idea to take away his leverage and make us strong enough to tell him to go to hell, if he tries it again."

  "I didn't realize," I said.

  He looked at me. "Realize what?"

  "You really don't like Asher."

  "Not particularly."

  "I am sorry, mon ami, if I have not done more to foster better feelings between you and him."

  "It's not you who needs to work harder at fostering good relations between Asher and me; that would be his responsibility."

  "Is it totally lame to say that we missed Asher when he was gone for six months?" I asked.

  Micah smiled. "Not lame, but we can find you and Nathaniel another dominant to play with; we can't afford to let Asher's issues rise and hurt us again."

  "I agree with that last part, but he has been working his issues, or I thought he had." I glanced at Dev. I wasn't so sure now.

  Micah said, "I know that Asher meets a lot of needs for people here, and he's happy up to a point here, but beyond that point he still feels jealous of you, and conflicted about Anita, and damn near predatory of any of the men in your life who don't want to sleep with him."

  "Is he still pushing upon your boundaries, mon chat?"

  Micah shrugged. "Nothing I can't handle, and it's not personal. Asher doesn't want me any more than he wants any attractive man, or maybe he wants me to want him, that seems to be the prime thing for Asher. He wants to be desired, and anyone he desires who doesn't return the favor hits his insecurities, especially if that someone is in your bed, or Anita's. He's liked me even less since he found out that Nathaniel and I are intimate, and it's not just the way Dev and I are with Anita."

  "And what way is that?" Crispin asked. He leaned forward, his long arms clasped on the table in front of him. When I'd met him he'd seemed like just another handsome stripper that I'd managed to accidentally attract, but the press of intelligence in his blue tiger eyes, the demand in his face, the set of his shoulders, showed just how much more there was to him than the body that made it rain money onstage. Domino sitting beside him was shorter, looked a little stockier, but it was the extra muscle from working out with the other bodyguards; with his hair mostly white with only a black curl here and there, he and Crispin looked more alike than normal. You had to look past the tiger eyes the color of flames to see it, but it was there in the bone structure. I realized that I didn't see the two of them this close together that often. Most of the dancers didn't hang out with the guards, or hit the gym at the same time for the same kind of workouts. They weren't technically cousins, because Domino had been an orphan found and adopted by the white tiger clan, but centuries of inbreeding in the clans had left its mark on both of them.