Big Sky Daddy

by Linda Ford

  Was her heart about to be torn asunder?

  Chapter Twelve

  The Bells went to their rooms and Caleb spread his bedroll beside Teddy’s cot. As he lay staring into the darkness, he relived the events of the evening, lingering on the words Lilly had spoken. Coal or gold? Which would he end up being? Did he have any choice or would it simply happen? He didn’t care for the idea that he had no say in the matter, though his life so far had revealed just how little control he had over anything. But hadn’t she been talking about God’s work? God had control. Surely, He would use the events in Caleb’s life for good. He liked the idea of turning into gold—a golden cowboy, as he’d said to Lilly. Had she thought him foolish or had she understood what he’d meant?

  Something about Lilly touched the corners of his heart like rain on barren ground, slowly causing his life to bloom. It was temporary, but why should he not enjoy the springtime of his soul while it lasted?

  He left early again the next morning, eager to get to the Caldwells’ so he could get his work done and get back to Teddy. And Lilly? his inner voice asked.

  Maybe. After all, she was working with Teddy.

  If Teddy would only start to use his leg again, there would be no need to go east. No need to leave.

  He cut these thoughts short. Hadn’t he decided to keep people at arm’s length to protect them? And to protect himself from pain and guilt, he acknowledged.

  Throughout the day, he often found himself smiling for no other reason than recalling the pleasure of the time spent with Lilly and her family.

  He finished his assigned chores so early Ebner stopped him as he saddled his horse.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “I’ve done the work you laid out and I’m going to see my son.”

  “Huh. Guess I’m getting slack at assigning chores.”

  Caleb faced him squarely. “I worked double time to get done early. No other man would have worked so quickly, and you know it. I don’t expect to have my load increased as a reward.” He gave Ebner a look that said there’d be no compromise on the matter. Caleb meant to spend time with Teddy. And if Lilly was there, too, so much the better.

  When he arrived at the Bells’ farm he found them all in the garden digging the last of the potatoes. Teddy sat in the dirt, sorting them according to some system that had been explained to him.

  Lilly stood up and smiled as Caleb approached. The others called a greeting but didn’t stop working.

  “Pa says there’s a change coming in the weather. Says we have to get the potatoes in before it gets here,” Lilly explained.

  “I’ll help. Let me take the baskets to the root cellar.”

  “You sure? I know you’ve worked all day.”

  This wouldn’t seem like work. “I don’t mind.”

  “Very well. The smaller potatoes go in one bin, the larger ones in another.”

  “Got it.” He grabbed the full basket at the end of the row and headed for the root cellar. Back and forth he went—they filled baskets as fast as he could empty them.

  Once he caught up, he grabbed a fork and started digging.

  Lilly smiled at him. “Thank you.” She turned to the side so the others couldn’t hear. “We’ve been trying to get Ma and Pa to let us finish, but they insist they will stay until the end.”

  “Then let’s get this done as quickly as possible.” He’d been putting out all afternoon, but he kept up a steady pace until the last potato was out of the ground. He emptied the final basket in the cellar and stepped out, a sense of satisfaction easing through him. He liked helping the Bells.

  With a grateful smile in Caleb’s direction, Lilly turned to her parents. “Teddy’s tired and hungry, Ma. You take him to the house while we clean up the tools. Pa, why don’t you make a pot of coffee for Caleb? I expect he’s in dire need of such.”

  “Sounds good,” Caleb said, and he smiled as the elderly couple headed to the house with Teddy at their side.

  “I can’t thank you enough,” Lilly said.

  “Nor I,” Rose added. “You’re not half-bad for a Caldwell cowboy.”

  Caleb laughed as he helped put away the baskets and tools.

  He paused to wait for Lilly to come alongside him. “Not half-bad for a Caldwell cowboy? Coming from Rose, that’s high praise.” He wondered what Lilly thought. Not half-bad? Real good? A golden cowboy? He almost hooted aloud at his foolish thoughts.

  She patted his arm, a gesture he was enjoying more and more each day. “You’re all right, Caleb Craig.”

  His chest swelled and his smile widened. All right! He liked that.

  A few minutes later they trooped into the house for supper. Everyone ate with gusto. Made him wonder how long they’d been out in the garden without a break.

  The main part of the meal over, Mrs. Bell said, “Who’s ready for cookies?”

  “Me. Me.” Teddy practically bounced from his chair and Caleb didn’t have the heart to scold him. He much preferred concern about the boy’s manners over the continual worry about his leg.

  Mrs. Bell gave Teddy four cookies and filled his cup with milk. Teddy took a bite of cookie and closed his eyes. “Good.” He ate two and drank half the milk before he came up for air. He rubbed his tummy.

  “Mrs. Bell, you are the best grandma in the world.”

  The woman’s smile flattened and her hand flew to her chest.

  “Teddy,” Caleb warned. But it was too late to pull the words back.

  Mrs. Bell’s smile returned. “I don’t have any grandchildren yet.” She spared the girls an accusing look. “But I’d be honored if you’d call me Grandma.” She squeezed Teddy’s hand.

  Teddy grew very still and slowly faced Caleb. “Can I, Papa?”

  What could he say? If he refused, it would appear rude, even churlish. But if he agreed, wouldn’t Teddy be hurt when they had to say goodbye to his chosen grandma?

  He made up his mind. “So long as you remember it’s only until we leave.”

  Teddy continued to stare at him, as if silently accusing him of robbing him of a perfectly good grandma.

  “That’s just fine,” Mrs. Bell said. “And maybe someday you’ll visit again.”

  “Would you make me ginger cookies if we did?”

  “I’d be honored.”

  “Thank you, Grandma.” Teddy couldn’t have been more pleased, but Caleb was uneasy. Somehow he knew this wasn’t going to end well, no matter what he did.

  He sought Lilly’s gaze. What did she think of this arrangement? She wore a cautious look, as if she shared the same wariness. Then she smiled and gave a little shrug.

  He shrugged, too. There didn’t seem to be any way he could renege at this point.

  Mr. Bell took up his Bible. “Our root cellar is full. We have plenty to spare. God has blessed us abundantly and we give Him praise. But let us never lose sight of the fact that adverse circumstances do not mean God loves us any less. I want to read two verses from Habakkuk, chapter three.” The Bible easily fell open to the pages as if Mr. Bell often read the passage. “Here we are. ‘Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.’” He reverently closed the Good Book. “No matter what happens, God cares for each of us, and whether there are good or bad things in our lives, we are loved.”

  As Mr. Bell prayed, the words went round and round in Caleb’s head. He had never considered that God loved him in such a special way. Thinking about it made the sorrow of his life fade in significance.

  The next morning he rode away with a light heart, but he also did so reluctantly. He would have l
iked to spend Saturday with the Bells, but Ebner had not given him the full day off, though he couldn’t deny him the half day off he’d given to all the other cowboys on the ranch.

  The chores the foreman had laid out for him kept him busy until past noon. By the time he finished, he was impatient as a kid on Christmas.

  The Bells went to town on Saturdays to do their shopping and sell their produce. Would they be back yet?

  He strained to find some clue as he approached the farm. When he saw Teddy and Blossom alone in the yard, he sank back in his saddle. Then he saw Lilly nearby and smiled.

  “Hello,” he called, and they both waved.

  “Grandma and Grandpa and Rose went to town,” Teddy said as soon as Caleb was close enough to hear.

  “You didn’t go?” he addressed Lilly.

  She shrugged. “Teddy and I decided to stay home.” Because she lowered her eyes, he couldn’t gain any insight into why.

  “Lilly thought we should wait for you,” Teddy said.

  “Is that a fact?” The idea pleased him clear to the soles of his feet. “Do you want to go now? I could hitch up the wagon.”

  She lifted one shoulder in a small shrug. “I’ve been to town plenty of times. Unless you want to go?”

  “I’ve got no need to go to town.” A strong wind tore at his hat and he grabbed it before it could blow away. “Besides, it’s getting a mite cold.”

  “It’s the change in weather Pa said was coming.” She glanced down the road. “They should be home soon.” She watched for a few seconds and then shivered. “We better go inside.”

  “I’ll be along as soon as I take care of my horse.”

  A few minutes later he joined them in the house. She’d made coffee and poured milk for herself and Teddy. As usual, there were cookies to enjoy with the coffee.

  She smiled at Teddy’s enjoyment of the snack.

  The boy finished and asked to be excused. He and Blossom went to the far corner of the room. Teddy pulled a handful of objects from his pocket and showed them to the eager pup. Soon they were engrossed in their own little world.

  Lilly watched, a gentle smile on her lips. “Tell me what Teddy was like as a baby.”

  * * *

  Lilly shifted her attention to Caleb when she asked about Teddy. He smiled and got a distant look on his face, as if falling into his memories. Hopefully, to a place that was pleasant for him.

  “He said ‘papa’ before he said ‘mama.’ Amanda teasingly complained about that.” Caleb chuckled. “I said it was because he knew that when he saw me it meant we were going to play. My, he did like to be tickled.” He sighed. “No doubt you’ve heard it before, but babies grow up far too quickly. Especially when there aren’t more little ones to replace them.”

  Lilly concentrated on the swirl of milk at the bottom of her glass. Would she ever know the joy of a baby? Not unless she found someone willing to settle for her, willing to stay long enough to see what Rose called her ‘finer qualities.’ This topic of conversation brought hard edges to her innards. But before she could think of something else to talk about, lightning flashed, filling the room with blinding light.

  She jolted to her feet, her heart climbing to the back of her throat. The hair on her neck stood up, as her skin prickled. “I hate storms,” she murmured, her words almost drowned out by the thunder that seemed to go on forever, rolling down from the mountains and echoing over the plains. Wind rattled the shingles and banged at the door. “I have to shut in the chickens.” If she hadn’t been distracted by Caleb’s arrival she would have already done it. Now she had to go out in the storm.

  She grabbed a slicker Pa wore in wet weather and shrugged into it. Never mind that it was miles too big and almost dragged on the ground. It would protect her from the rain that would surely come. Not to mention that wearing it, she felt safer, as if Pa’s arms were about her. A floppy wide-brimmed hat completed her outfit.

  Caleb followed her to the door. “Let me go. You stay here.”

  It was awfully tempting to agree. “Thanks, but someone needs to stay with Teddy, and I know what to do outside.”

  He stood at the door. “You’ll be safe?”

  A large portion of tension seeped away at the concern in his voice. “I’ll be fine. You make sure Teddy is safe, too.”

  “I will.” Still he did not open the door or step away so she could get out. She met his dark eyes, full of concern and maybe even regret, though she couldn’t guess what he might regret. His gaze held hers as her heart settled into her chest with a sigh and then swelled with longing.

  Lightning flashed again and seconds later, thunder rattled the glass in the windows.

  She broke from his intense stare. “I must go.”

  Finally he held the door open and stood watching as she slipped loose the latch on the chicken pen. Lightning and thunder continued, but they seemed less frightening knowing Caleb was watching. She shooed the chickens inside and closed the door.

  The barn door stood open. She needed to close it to keep the cows warm.

  A glance at the house revealed Caleb still standing in the doorway. Then rain slashed down and he closed the door.

  She couldn’t remember feeling so alone before. But she had to take care of the necessary chores. Ducking her head against the wind and rain, she trotted to the barn.

  She caught Caleb’s horse and led it inside. Then she heard the loft door banging. It would not stay shut unless she threw the bar in place.

  She stared at the ladder, trying to summon the courage to climb closer to the turbulent sky. She chanted Rose’s words. “Just as safe up there as standing in the middle of a field.” It didn’t matter how true the words were. Fear didn’t listen to reason, and Lilly had a huge fear of thunderstorms. However, she had to keep the barn dry for the sake of the animals. She’d do it for them. She let the huge slicker flap behind her as she planted one hand and then the other on a ladder rung. Gritting her teeth, she forced her feet to follow.

  She found the length of wood Pa used to hold the door closed. Swallowing back a lump the size of a prize potato, she waited for the door to bang against the frame and then she caught it. Quickly she dropped the bar into place.

  Lightning flashed and thunder sounded at almost the same time. Her scalp tingled. The smell of gunpowder filled the air. It had struck very close. She wanted to huddle in some safe corner, or rush back to the house and find comfort in Caleb’s presence, but she could do neither. Her sheep would naturally seek shelter under the trees in the corner of their pasture. It was the most dangerous place they could be in a thunderstorm.

  She must herd them to safety.

  She clambered down the ladder and looked around to see if she could tell where the lightning had struck. She saw nothing damaged and no sign of fire, so she hastened onward to the sheep pasture. In her frenzied haste, she slipped on the wet ground, going down on one knee. She straightened and hurried on until she reached the gate of the pasture. What if lightning struck the moment she touched the wire? She’d be killed. Or at least thrown to the ground, her hair burned from her head.

  She swallowed back a lump as large as a soup bowl. No one else would take care of her sheep. Ignoring the trembling of her limbs, she grabbed the gate, unhooked it and threw it back.

  “Mammy,” she called. The old ewe would be the only one to heed Lilly’s call. “Mammy.” Lightning flashed, allowing Lilly to look around her. There they were, huddled in the trees just as she suspected. “You silly sheep. You haven’t got the sense to stay away from danger.” She ran the length of the field, skidding and slipping. “Come, girls. Come, Boss.” Maybe the ram would show his courage and follow her.

  They bleated, but they didn’t move. She grabbed a couple and shoved them in the right direction. They simply turned back to the shelter. “Mammy?” She located the ewe at
the back of the flock and went to her side. “You’re my only hope. Come with me and the others might follow. Please follow.”

  More lightning. More thunder. The sound crashed inside her chest each time. But she needed to get these sheep to safety.

  She wrapped her arms about Mammy’s neck. “You’ll come with me, won’t you?”

  The ewe baaed.

  Lilly took it as a sign of agreement. “Come along.” She clung to Mammy’s neck, hoping the ewe would cooperate. They took a step. Two. Three. Mammy baaed again and Boss came running to investigate. She kept Mammy going forward, one step at a time. “Come on, you sheep. Come, come. I’ll put you where you’ll be safe and dry.” Would they follow?

  One of the younger ewes rubbed against Lilly’s legs.

  She wanted to look back and see if the others were coming, but she had her hands full keeping Mammy headed for the gate. They were as nervous as she, jumping at every crack, every rumble.

  They were almost at the gate when a blinding flash and a thundering boom shook the ground. Balls of fire ran along the wire of the fence and into the ground. She cried out as fear exploded inside her.

  * * *

  Caleb stared out the window. The lightning was so close he could feel the electricity in the air and could smell sulfur. Lilly had been gone far too long. Where was she? Had she been hurt? Struck by a bolt? He shuddered and strode to the door. He needed to make sure she was safe. But did he dare leave Teddy? He returned to the window, staring into the darkness. In the continuing flashes he could make out the barn, his wagon and the other outbuildings, but he couldn’t see Lilly. Had she taken shelter in the barn, meaning to stay there until the storm passed?

  Perhaps she had welcomed a reason to avoid his company.

  But how could he be certain she was safe?

  He studied Teddy. Blossom watched the boy’s every move.

  He stared at the door. He had to find Lilly. But if both of them were out in the storm, if both of them encountered trouble... What would happen to Teddy?