by Linda Ford
Caleb touched the brim of his hat in a little salute. Let the man think what he would of it. He could take it as agreement if he so chose. For Caleb it meant that though Ebner might be the boss, Caleb wouldn’t be following an order like that.
Ebner gave Caleb a steely look and then walked away.
Caleb returned to chopping wood. It would be a frosty day in July before he’d do anything to help Ebner chase the Bells from their land.
His arms ached by the time he called it a day. There was more wood to chop, but even Ebner couldn’t expect a man to keep at it any longer. He glanced about. No sign of the foreman. Good. He might be able to slip away without running into him.
He dashed to the well and pumped water. He downed several dippers full, then washed up as much as he could. By rights he should grab some clothes from the wagon when he got back to the Bells and take a trip down to the river for a good scrubbing.
He realized he was standing there grinning at the thought of seeing Lilly and her family, and he quickly sobered, lest anyone see him and draw their own conclusion.
A few minutes later he swung into his saddle and trotted from the yard. His nerves twitched until he was out of sight of the buildings, but even in the open he glanced over his shoulder repeatedly and checked the horizon for any sign of Ebner.
Not until he reached the Bell farm did he take a full, satisfying breath. He had not seen Ebner. Had not been reminded of what the man wanted.
“Papa, Papa.” Teddy hurried toward him, swinging his crutches so fast Caleb feared he would fall.
“Slow down, son. There’s no fire.”
Teddy reached him. “But there will be.”
“Will be what?”
“A fire. There’s gonna be a fire tonight.”
Lilly crossed the yard to join them. She smiled.
He forced himself to continue unsaddling his horse, though his hands felt a mile from his brain at the sight of the welcome light in her eyes. “What’s this about a fire?” Caleb asked.
“And a party.” Teddy practically danced a jig on his one foot. “A real party. Miss Lilly says they do it every year. Isn’t that right, Lilly?”
He didn’t correct Teddy about using Lilly’s name as she ruffled Teddy’s hair. “We’ve done it for a long time.” She turned to Caleb. “We burn the cornstalks. It’s such fun we started asking our friends to come. They seem to enjoy it.”
“I see.” He tried to imagine where he would fit in this picture. He was an old man compared to Lilly and her friends. Even compared to Wyatt. An old man with a child and heavy responsibilities.
Teddy pressed close to Caleb. “Lilly said everyone can come. Us, too. Right, Lilly?”
“Everyone is welcome.” She met Caleb’s eyes and no doubt read the eagerness in them. “You are most sincerely welcome.” She lowered her eyes as pink stole up her throat and stained her cheeks in such a beguiling way he grinned and dipped his head to see full into her face.
“That sounds like an invitation I can’t refuse.”
She looked at him through the curtain of her lashes. “I’m glad.”
“Me, too.”
“I can stay up for the party, can’t I?” Teddy asked. “Lilly said I could if you agreed.”
“You may stay up for a reasonable amount of time.” He finished caring for his mount.
Teddy hung his head. “I ’pose you decide what’s reasonable.”
Lilly laughed. “That’s your papa’s job. To take care of you.”
Caleb held her assuring gaze. His heart beat hard against his ribs. His job. He needed to remember that his responsibilities must come before anything else.
Lilly patted Teddy’s head and then rubbed Caleb’s arm. “You remember that you have a very good papa who cares deeply for you.”
Caleb stood motionless. Had she purposely praised him in response to what he’d said yesterday about his failures? Or had she spoken spontaneously?
She squeezed his arm. “Now, don’t get all serious and cautious. This is an evening meant for fun and celebration.”
“What’re we celebrating?” Teddy asked.
“The harvest.” Lilly swung her arms in an all-encompassing gesture. “The crops are in. The garden has filled our root cellar to bursting and there is still more to bring in. The sheep and pigs are ready to sell. And—” She caught Teddy’s chin and tipped his face to grin at him. “We have friends and family to share our joy with.”
Caleb held his breath, hoping she would touch his face as she had Teddy’s, but she only smiled at him.
“Would you like to help us prepare for the party?”
He nodded. “What do you need done?”
The three of them left the barn. Blossom and Grub waited at the door and joined them. Blossom still limped when she walked, but she was improving every day.
“We need to get a place ready for the fire.” Lilly led them to a spot in the middle of the garden. “Right here, where we don’t need to worry about the fire getting away.”
“Do you want me to pull out the cornstalks?”
“Oh, no. That’s part of the fun. But we need something to sit on.” She pointed to the planks and lengths of logs and together they made a wide circle of benches.
Caleb’s stomach rumbled. It had been hours since he’d grabbed a quick dinner, and it had already worn off.
Lilly heard and pressed her hand to her mouth to cover a giggle.
He rolled his eyes.
“We are going to eat,” she assured him. “Everyone brings their own sandwiches and Ma makes us hot cocoa.”
A wagon rumbled toward them.
“Here are the first ones.” Lilly hurried toward the wagon. When she saw that Caleb was hesitating, she waved him forward.
Mr. and Mrs. Bell and Rose came from the house and joined them as they went to greet the visitors.
Lilly introduced the preacher’s daughter, and several other young ladies. Caleb forgot most of their names almost as soon as they were given.
Behind them came a second wagon. With relief Caleb recognized Wyatt, Cora and Lonnie. At least he wouldn’t be completely surrounded by strangers.
Lonnie and a Miss Ellen smiled shyly at each other and headed to the circle of benches.
Some young men arrived on horseback. Was one of these Lilly’s beau? Or a man who wanted to be? She greeted them all exactly the same way and drew him forward to introduce him.
The crowd seemed made up of school chums and church friends. Caleb again felt old in comparison.
But Lilly didn’t allow him time to worry about it. “Come on. We’re going to start the fire.”
Everyone gathered round with Mr. Bell in the center next to a small stack of kindling. He lifted a hand to signal for quiet and then spoke.
“Welcome to everyone. It’s always a joy to celebrate our bounty with friends and neighbors.”
Caleb noted that one bunch of neighbors was conspicuously absent—the Caldwells. Too bad they wouldn’t forget their feud and join in on the fun.
Mr. Bell continued. “Let us pray.” He removed his hat and the men in the crowd did the same.
“God of all the earth, You have blessed us abundantly in this land. You bring the rains. You give us the sunshine and You cause the seeds to break forth into new plants. Everywhere we see evidence of Your great love for us and we thank You. Amen.”
Several echoed his amen.
“Let the fun begin.” He lit the fire. “Now remember not to put too many stalks on at once. You want to enjoy a nice fire, not a scorching blaze that could get out of control.”
“Come on.” Lilly drew Caleb and Teddy with her toward the corn patch and they wrestled the stalks from the ground. “Knock off the dirt.” They did so and then took their stalks to the fire.
Teddy sat by Mrs. Bell, her arm around him, and watched with amazement.
Caleb paused a moment, too, watching the light of the fire reflect in Lilly’s face. She smiled at him. Flames burned through his veins.
But he dared not hope that she meant to encourage his interest. He could not allow himself to think this tender feeling, this sweet regard, this full-bodied enjoyment would someday grow into more.
He had followed his dreams once before and his dreams had proven to be made of dust.
Someone tossed another stalk into the fire and the flames shot into the sky. Lilly shrank back from the heat.
Caleb turned away.
He needed to quench this yearning of his soul before he failed, before she shrank from him as she had from the fire.
Chapter Seventeen
Lilly hurried after Caleb. She had sensed from the start of the evening that he was fighting a war with himself. But she was uncertain as to the cause. Did he fear enjoying himself? Perhaps he saw that as a way of inviting disaster. She reached him and caught his arm to bring his attention to her.
“Caleb, don’t take things so seriously. This night is meant for fun.”
Others dashed past them bearing stalks to toss on the fire, but she paid them no mind.
Caleb studied her for a long moment. “I can’t lose sight of my responsibilities.”
She pressed her hand more firmly to his arm. “I wouldn’t for one moment think you should. I know there are things you must do for Teddy.” If his leg didn’t start to work then Caleb needed to take him east and seek help. “A father should always put his children first.”
His expression softened and he covered her hand with his own. “On that we agree.” His fingers curled about hers, offering much more than his words did, as if he understood her concern about a father’s devotion.
She allowed herself a moment of sweet comfort before she returned to her original intent. “You wouldn’t be neglecting Teddy by enjoying this evening.”
He drew in a long breath while she held hers, waiting for him to come to his own conclusion. Then she filled her lungs, knowing even before he spoke that he would agree.
“Enjoy the evening, you say?”
“Your responsibilities will be waiting for you come morning, but there’s nothing you can do at the moment.”
He nodded and headed for the corn patch, her hand firmly clasped in his. “Then, by all means, let’s enjoy the evening.” He laughed, filling her heart with shimmering warmth.
They gathered cornstalks, throwing them on the fire and laughing at the way the flames rushed into the air. Teddy sat with Ma and Pa, watching and laughing.
Lilly found herself glancing at Caleb more frequently than not, each time catching his dark gaze and something more. She couldn’t name it—hope, anticipation? But whatever it was made her aware of her own needs and wants and dreams in a way that made the flames pale in significance.
The night deepened. Cool air crept closer, drawing people toward the fire.
Pa moved to the center again. “Who’s hungry?”
A general call indicated that everyone was.
“I’ll ask the blessing and then we’ll eat.”
She bowed her head and added her own silent words of thanks to the prayer. Thanks for the way Caleb was enjoying himself. Thanks for her own enjoyment of the evening. A warning sounded in her brain, but tonight she would follow her own advice and enjoy herself without thinking of the consequences.
Rose and Ma had made sandwiches for the Bell family as well as Caleb and Teddy, and Rose brought them out as the guests retrieved their food from wagons and saddlebags.
Lilly sat between Caleb and Rose. Teddy sat on Caleb’s other side.
She wondered how the boy managed to eat three sandwiches despite his constant chatter. For her part, she was content to be in this place at this time without considering what tomorrow might bring.
Harry Simmons sauntered over. “Mind if I join you?” he asked as he looked at Rose.
Lilly stared. Harry! She couldn’t believe he had an interest in Rose. Unless Rose hid it well, she certainly didn’t have any interest in him. But stranger things had happened.
She shifted so Rose could make room for Harry at her other side. The movement pressed Lilly close to Caleb. He angled his body so he could look directly at her.
“The Harry Simmons?” he whispered for her ears only.
“Pardon?” She didn’t know what he meant.
He leaned closer. “Who sings like a bullfrog?”
Then she recalled what she had said about the poor man. But pleased he had remembered, she chuckled. “One and the same.”
Rose had been listening to something Harry was saying, but she turned at the sound of Lilly’s chuckle. “What’s so funny?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
“Uh-huh.”
She turned her attention back to the food, but her arm brushed Caleb’s each time she lifted her hand to her mouth. She grew so aware of every movement she could hardly swallow. Her nerve endings tingled.
“Girls, let’s get the hot cocoa,” Ma said.
Lilly bounced to her feet and rushed after her. The distance gave her a chance to gain a tenuous control over her emotions.
They carried a big pot of the hot drink back with them and filled each one’s cup. If Lilly’s hand seemed a little shaky, no one seemed to notice.
Then she stood before Caleb and her tremors increased. She held her breath so as not to spill the hot liquid on him, and managed to fill his cup.
Only then did she meet his gaze. The firelight reflected in his eyes, burning away secrets and barriers. She felt as if she could see straight into his heart. Her breath stalled at the depth of longing and love she saw there.
Did he want her to be part of what she saw? Did he think she could satisfy at least part of his longing?
Rose nudged her and they moved on, filling Harry’s cup and continuing on to the others.
But something had shifted inside Lilly. It no longer mattered if caring about Caleb brought her pain in the end. This moment, this evening, these past few days would be the source of so much joy that they would outweigh anything else.
* * *
Caleb ate the sandwiches offered him and drank the hot cocoa that Lilly had poured. Enjoy the moment, she’d told him. It was good advice. His responsibilities wouldn’t suffer because of an evening of ignoring them.
He watched Lilly circle the crowd with Rose and her ma, ladling out hot cocoa for each.
He grinned as she made someone laugh and bent close to others as if sharing some heartfelt confession. He grew thoughtful. She’d done the same for him—made him laugh, made him share things from his heart. Made him care. It was her sweet way.
He should be worried about how she’d pulled so many feelings and confessions from him. Perhaps he should have been pulling them back.
But that night was made for enjoyment.
She finished with the cocoa, and Rose took the pot to the house. Lilly returned to his side and his heart filled with warmth.
Teddy leaned against Caleb.
“It’s time for you to go to bed,” he said to his son.
“Aww.” But the protest was halfhearted.
Mrs. Bell pushed to her feet. “We’re going in. The night is for young people like yourself. Let me take care of him tonight.”
He turned to Teddy, but he didn’t need to ask his son if he approved of the idea. Teddy had already taken Mrs. Bell’s hand.
“I’ll go with Grandma and Grandpa,” he said. “You stay and have fun with Lilly.” He patted Caleb’s han
d.
Lilly chuckled.
Caleb shrugged. He didn’t mind that Teddy approved of his friendship with Lilly. In fact, it eased his mind greatly.
Someone pulled out a guitar and started strumming it. A young man took a mouth organ from his pocket and sat beside the guitar player, and they played a lively tune.
A young lady across the fire called out a song and the musicians played it. Voices rang out in chorus. Caleb had already heard Lilly and her sisters sing, knew them to have fine voices, but sitting beside Lilly, he felt like the two of them sang a duet.
The fire threw off welcome heat and filled the area with dancing shadows. Stars rivaled the sparks for attention. It was a night made for love.
Whoa. Caleb was not letting his thoughts head down that trail. Love carried responsibility and risks.
And, his hopeful side suggested, joy and satisfaction.
Caleb argued back. It was a package deal. You couldn’t have one without the other.
Then Harry Simmons joined the singing and Caleb’s attention came back to his surroundings. He choked back a chuckle. The man indeed croaked like a frog. He nudged Lilly in the ribs and they grinned at each other.
No sooner had one song ended than someone called out a request and another began. Caleb knew many of the songs and sang along. He enjoyed listening to Lilly sing those he was unfamiliar with.
Someone requested “The Girl I Left Behind Me.” He had forgotten the words. But as the crowd sang, each word wailed through his head. A girl with golden hair and eyes like diamonds. And a wish to get safely back to her. He closed his eyes as the ache inside him swelled with every note.
He would miss Lilly when he left. As the song said, like a bee that could no longer taste the honey, or a dove that had become a wanderer.
The song ended and for a moment people were quiet, allowing Caleb to consider what he was to do.
Not that he really had any choice. One promise he would never forget and for which he would never accept failure was getting help for Teddy. He would not stop until his son could again walk on two legs.
