What a Girl Wants

by Selena Robins

  Think of your targets as prey, her boss had drummed into her head. They are not your friends. Never will be.

  “I can…do this.” Nelly panted like a smoker with emphysema. “Yes…I…can.”

  Sweat trickled down her neck from underneath her helmet, making her scalp and skin itchy. Her eyes watered from the wind and she was thirsty as hell, but there was no damn way she was going back to the editor empty-handed. “I. Will. Not.” She wheezed. “Be…a secretary…again.”

  She struggled up the narrow and rocky paths, her ass hurting, her thighs burning and her ankles aching.

  After over thirty minutes of grueling pedaling, uphill all the way, catching a bit of a rest only when Saunders took a pee break, she stopped when Saunders hopped off her bike and walked to the peak of the mountain.

  Nelly rode up to a copse of thick, tall bushes and hid behind one of the thicker bushes. As quietly as possible, she unsnapped the pocket inside her backpack and took out her spare camera. Granted, this one wasn’t as powerful as the one Saunders had dismantled, but it would do the job. She set the zoom lens at ten times its strength, checking to make sure the batteries were fully charged. They were. Good. Now she waited.

  Maddie sat on a rock, staring up at a sky as blue as a canvas painted in liquid sapphire. Riding up here, she’d been able to burn off her aggravated mood. She supposed that she could stay mad at her mother, uncle, Maxwell, Alex and the tabloid vermin. Hell, nobody would blame her if she did. But it was hard to wallow in self-pity when there was so much peaceful splendor surrounding her.

  The two teenagers from the group approached her, walking their bikes. They waved.

  “Hey, there.” Maddie got up, headed toward the teens and extended her hand. “I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself earlier. Maddie from New York.”

  “Nick. This is Andy.” Both guys smiled, shaking her hand. “Ottawa, Canada.”

  “I thought I heard a few ‘ehs’ this morning.” She winked, smiling. “Beautiful country and city. I’ve white-water rafted on the Ottawa River and snowboarded in the Laurentians.” The boys’ smiles widened with pride. “Would you mind if I joined you guys for the rest of the day?”

  They both nodded. “Cool with us,” Nick said. “Did your riding buddy bag on you?”

  “Yup, she preferred to go for a hike.”

  Andy pointed to Maddie’s black, neon-green striped biking shoes. “Sweet wheels.”

  “Thanks.” Maddie flexed her foot. “Sedona. Retro Mountain Bike Shop. You can order them online.” She nodded toward the steep mountain. “You guys game to take that bad boy on?”

  “That baby’s rad,” Nick said. “That’s what we’re here for.”

  Andy tossed a coin in the air. “I call heads.”

  The coin landed on the ground. “You win, dude,” Nick said.

  Andy strapped on his helmet and hopped on his bike. Nick and Maddie both knuckle-knocked him for good luck.

  Nick turned his head. “You hear that? I see someone in the bushes.”

  Andy followed Nick’s gaze to a bush. The branches rustled. Maddie rolled her eyes. “It’s my stalker.” She laughed. “Not a dangerous one. Paparazzi recruit. I tried to lose her but she’s a better rider than I thought. Ignore her.” At Nick’s puzzled expression, Maddie said, “I’ll tell you about it over nachos later. Best time buys the drinks, deal?”

  “I can afford to spring for some chicken wings too,” Andy said with a confident smile.

  “Yeah, if you don’t ride like a chick today.” Nick looked at Maddie. “Oops. I mean—”

  “No sweat.” She laughed. “You can eat my chick dust after my run.”

  Maddie joined Nick, watching Andy’s descent. Although he avoided the ramp and a jump, he raced down to the next plateau with steady precision. She clapped and waved down to him.

  “Guess Andy didn’t feel like taking a jump today.” Nick looked at his watch. “But his time is stellar. How about you? You ever take a jump off a ramp like that?” He pointed to the cliff.

  “Yeah, hopped a few that were similar.” She picked up the coin. “Your call.”

  “Tails,” he answered as she flipped the coin in the air.

  They stared at the coin on the ground. Heads. “You sure you want to go next?” he asked.

  “Oh, yeah.” Maddie lowered the seat on her bike and walked down a few yards. She studied the ground, then climbed back up. “The lines are doable,” she said. “Once I get going, I’ll check to see how the corners flow so I can hold a decent speed.”

  “Cool thinking. I do that too. How do you pump yourself up before a jump?”

  “If I think my odds are better than fifty-fifty, it can go either way.” She double-checked the chain, lifted the bike and spun the wheels. Everything still in great shape. “If they’re eighty-twenty, I go for it. Also depends on how brave I’m feeling.” She laughed.

  “How high is your brave meter today?” Nick asked.

  She mentally kick-boxed the background racket—about Alex, her mother, Maxwell—out of her mind. “I’m thinking eighty-twenty.” She clasped her hands over her head, stretching each side while standing on her toes to stretch her calves. “Here’s hoping I beat my personal best.”

  “Yeah, and here’s hoping you beat Andy.” Nick chuckled. “Ugly mutt could use some serious competition.” He gave her a thumbs-up. “Andy will spot you from down there and I’ll be in ready mode to head down if you get into trouble. Have a good run.”

  Maddie leaped on her bike, gave him a nod and started down the mountain. She rolled down at a slow pace, bunny hopped over a few rocks and managed the mountain at a steady rate.

  Heading for the ramp she picked up speed.

  She was in the zone. She didn’t think. She just rode.

  A wave of exhilaration swept over her as cool and fast as the tropical wind.

  Leaning low over the handlebars, she lifted her butt in the air and sailed over the edge. She became one with the bike and air.

  Nirvana, her inner voice cheered as she nailed a perfect landing.

  “Yes!” She braked, jumped off the bike and pumped her fist in the air. “I did it!”

  Andy rode down to her, got off his bike and raised his arm. “Slap me some skin. Up here where grandma keeps the cookies.” He gave Maddie a high five. “That was totally chill.”

  Maddie removed her gloves, smiling. She looked up and noticed Nick waving frantically. She shielded her eyes to get a better view. Stalkerazzi Nelly stood beside Nick, screaming.

  “Dude, can’t make you out. Repeat,” Andy said into his two-way radio, crackling with Nick shouting, “…chick’s bike…out…way…move…watch…bike…out…move…”

  Maddie’s smile collapsed as everything clicked into place. Faster than she’d sailed over the cliff, she caught site of Nelly’s bike cartwheeling down the mountain.

  She gave Andy a hard shove out of the oncoming bike’s way. “Look out!”

  The bike somersaulted with uncontrolled velocity.

  Maddie leaped in the opposite direction of the looming bike.

  The runaway bike hit a large rock, bounced and slammed into Maddie, sending her flying.

  “Oh, my God,” Andy shouted. “Nick. Nick. Can you hear me?” he yelled into his radio, the echo bouncing off the mountain. “Call for help.”

  Excruciating pain took Maddie’s breath away before her world turned black and silent.

  Alex swam hard against the waves, working out his frustration and the kink in his neck from a restless night. He’d left his Blackberry and watch back in his room, so he had no idea how long he’d been jogging before he jumped in the ocean.

  The exercise had relaxed him somewhat, but it hadn’t eased the leftover misery from yesterday after going balls to the wall with Maddie. She had had every right to rip into him and blow off steam. That was
a hell of a lot for her to absorb in one sitting. He’d recognized that, had even been prepared for it. What he hadn’t been prepared for was how the conversation had spun out of control, how she’d said he’d destroyed any trust she had in him.

  And then, when he thought their argument couldn’t get any worse, she looked him in the eye and told him their relationship was all about sex. Nothing more. She looked damned serious, especially when she said there was no way she’d go to England with him now, ripping a hole in his heart.

  Fuckin’ mess. That’d teach him for veering off his no-relationship road. Crash.

  It must be past lunchtime by now, he thought. His stomach growled. He’d only had a muffin and coffee for breakfast. He swam inland and walked to the shore.

  “Donovan!”

  Alex shaded his eyes with his hand and saw Tim sprinting toward him. “Christ, I’ve been looking for you all morning.”

  Alex picked up his runners. “What’s up?” At closer inspection, he noticed Tim looked stressed. His pulse quickened. This couldn’t be good. “What is it?”

  “There’s been an accident. Maddie’s in the hospital.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “Always wear clean underwear. You never know when you’ll have to go to the hospital.”

  —Mothers

  Alex sat in the hospital’s waiting room alone, elbows on his knees, fists pressed against his forehead. He’d seen his share of tragedies and had always held it together, priding himself on his ability to deliver any story—even the heartbreaking ones—in a factual and logical manner.

  On the way to the hospital he had used those skills. But when he arrived and was informed of the seriousness of Maddie’s injuries, then told that he wouldn’t be able to see her until after her surgery, he’d excused himself to go to the men’s room, and after throwing up, he’d lost control of his emotions.

  Lifting his head a fraction, he checked the small clock on the wall. Maddie had now been in surgery for three hours and fifteen minutes. Clenching his fists even tighter, he wondered why it was taking so long. He lowered his head again. The teenagers, Nick and Andy, who had followed the ambulance to the hospital, had stuck around. They had gone to the cafeteria with Tim and Alex’s family. He suspected his father had ushered them all down there to give Alex space.

  The teens had filled him in on what happened. A fuckin’ photographer from Reckless had followed Maddie. Instead of heeding Nick’s warning to move away from her unsecured bike, she’d continued snapping Maddie’s picture. The idiot woman bumped into her bike and sent it crashing down the mountain, slamming into Maddie.

  Alex’s hands shook and his stomach roiled, thinking what the outcome would have been if that idiot’s bike had collided into Maddie when she was in midair, jumping over the cliff.

  Squeezing his eyes tight, he sucked in a deep breath and stopped playing the what-if game.

  The triage physician had explained that when Maddie tried to break her fall by putting her hand out in front of her—an instinctive move—the force of the fall had traveled up her lower forearm, dislocated her elbow and shattered the radial head.

  Damn, how he wished he could trade places with her. He hated waiting here while she lay on an operating table. He couldn’t do a damn thing to comfort her.

  He mentally kicked himself for not giving her a wider berth yesterday. He should have canned his stubborn pride and shut his mouth when she lashed out at him. Maybe if he hadn’t left her alone last night they could have resolved it. In the morning he would have accompanied her on the bike ride. Then none of this would have happened.

  Okay, this is not productive. Concentrate on helping her now.

  “Hey.” Kristi sat beside him, handing him a sandwich. “Did you catch the Pink Floyd moon last night? It means a fresh start. Stars are aligned with the earth and water. Since Mads is the sign of water and you’re earth, that’s a good thing. Her aura is always positive, but on her birthday, more so, which means she’s in for a stellar year.” She nudged him. “Cool, huh? What do you think?”

  His heartbeat hammered in his ears so loud, he could hardly hear himself think, let alone speak. He remained silent, turning the unwrapped sandwich over in his hands. After a few minutes he sat up straight. “You want to know what I think?” He blew out a frustrated breath. “I think karma really is a bitch, disguised as a damned rag photographer—”

  Kristi made the sign of the cross. “Geeze, Alex.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Don’t swear. We’re sitting outside a chapel. And why would you say that?”

  “Yeah, well, I asked Him to cut me some slack.”

  He stood and peered inside the chapel’s window. Not since leaving Iraq had he stepped into one. He’d attended services in the Middle East for a story and to pay his respect to the fallen heroes. However, much to his parents’ regret, his faith had taken a beating after that assignment.

  He had never told Maddie, but she was the only person who had helped dull his memories of the devastation.

  In the last few weeks she’d given so much of herself to him—tenderness in her lovemaking, honesty, trust, joy for life—and she’d never asked for anything in return. So how had he paid her back? By being disloyal and withholding information. He should have had more faith that she was strong and could handle anything thrown her way.

  God, he hoped that strength was holding her together on the operating table. He turned away from the chapel and sat. “What’s with you making the sign of the cross? Didn’t you convert to Buddhism last month?”

  “That was a year ago.” She clicked her tongue. “Keep up. I’m studying Universalism now. Actually, I’m in transition, so to speak. Besides you can take the girl out of the Catholic but you can’t take the Catholic out of the girl.” She wagged her finger at him. “Or the boy.”

  He shook his head. “And you wonder why I thought you were adopted.”

  “Ha.” She pointed to him. “Made you smile. Now don’t change the subject. You didn’t cause this accident, so why would you say that about karma?”

  “I’m a reporter. Even though it’s part of the business, I’ve infringed on people’s privacy.” He’d never caused anyone physical injury or risked a life for gossip, but he was sure some of the people he’d investigated must have wished he’d get a taste of his own medicine someday. “Also, I deserve payback for all the times I worried the crap out of Mom and Dad. Now I know how they must have felt when they visualized the worst things that could have happened.”

  “Take the advice you’ve always given us. Worrying isn’t going to prevent anything.”

  He could recite word for word what he’d always tell his parents before leaving for an assignment. “Yeah, I even tried to buy into my own bullshit that worrying wasn’t going to stop bad things from happening.” He got up and paced.

  “It’s not bull. You and Maddie couldn’t do what you do if you both had anxiety attacks every time you traveled for an assignment.” She opened her purse and took out a roll of cherry Life Savers. “You both love your jobs, and you’re both real good at them.” She offered him a candy. He declined.

  “Jen and I lessened our worry about you by not reading your articles. Well, that wasn’t the only reason. Mads’ columns are so much juicier.” She snickered. He tugged at her ponytail. “By the way, it’s pretty obvious that you’re more than friends now. Not that you asked, but I approve.” She smiled and waved her hand. “We don’t have to talk about it. TMI and all that. Anyway, Mads understands your career better than us and you understand hers. When Mom and Dad would hear about journalists getting killed, she would come over and help calm them down.”

  He didn’t know that. “How?”

  “Mostly, Maddie made them laugh.” Kristi giggled. “Especially when she did her Alex imitation.” He could picture her doing that. “Maddie told us how when she goes skydiving and she’s plunging toward th
e ground at one-hundred-twenty miles an hour, all her focus is on the timing, opening her chute and nailing a perfect landing. She can’t be worrying about things out of her control. She told us to picture ourselves parachuting to lessen our stress.”

  He rubbed the stubble on his chin, remembering his own personal motto when it came to the risks they both took in their careers. “Focus on your own life and have confidence in the people you care about to take care of themselves.”

  “Yeah, you both have the same philosophy, except hers is more creative and fun.” He rolled his eyes. She shrugged. “Well, have you ever read your political stuff? Hope this new job of yours will make for more interesting reading. Hey, is Maddie moving to England with you?”

  “Can’t believe we’re having this conversation.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think she’ll go, especially now.” A cold shiver ran up his spine. He really hated not knowing exactly what the surgeon was doing to her. “It wasn’t fair for me to expect her to change her life. She already has a life in New York. She has friends and a place to call home.”

  “I know people say long-distance relationships can’t work,” she said. “But if you care about the person and that person cares about you it will work. Especially if it’s real.”

  He mussed her bangs. “How did you get so smart?”

  “Must be because I’m adopted.” She grinned. “Look, you guys have already been doing the long-distance thing.”

  “Long-distance friendship. We dated other people.” He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms and ankles. “Big difference from what you’re talking about.”

  “Friends, huh? Okay. So who is the woman you e-mailed the most? Checked in by phone when you had a chance? Had a standing Friday-night date with when you were both in town? Oh, sorry, you were friends. I’ll rephrase that last thing—standing Friday-night appointment.”

  She hiked her brow, popping another candy in her mouth. “Maddie’s the only one you brought to family dinners. Besides us, the only woman you include on your Christmas list.” She snapped her fingers. “See, you two already have this whole long-distance thing licked.” She scrunched her nose. “Mind you, I have no idea what she sees in you.”