Tearing open the wrapper on a candy bar, I hit play on the remote. Gerard Butler was definitely one of my favorite actors, but in this movie, he reminded me a little too much of someone I wanted to forget.
I pointed at the screen. “Ever notice Gerard is a little bit of jerk in this one?”
Julia laughed as she drew a blanket over her lap. “Honey, I have it on good authority that they’re all dicks.”
Truer words never spoken, I thought, and took another big bite of chocolate.
LIAM CONTINUED TO send texts and call me for the next two days. I didn’t answer anything; I deleted each message and wondered about the feasibility of changing my phone number. Having to explain to Julia why I was doing it would be a problem.
It rattled me, though. I couldn’t concentrate on studying, and I had trouble sleeping. The cognitive psych quiz, which should have been a breeze, looked like it was written in Greek as I struggled through it.
It snowed Monday night, and that only added more complications to my life. I was late to my clinical after having to shovel out the car, and I barely got to my next class on time. The professor droned on as I tried to concentrate and ignore my wet feet. Right before dismissing us, he handed back the quizzes from the day before. My heart sank when I saw a C in red at the top of my paper.
The rest of the students began talking as they stood, packing up bags to leave. I moved slower, carefully replacing everything in my notebook and sliding it into my backpack, as though it mattered. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten anything below an A on a test. An occasional B on a paper, yes, because those were subjective, but if it were just a strict regurgitation of information, or even analysis of theories, I was on top of it.
I couldn’t afford to get C’s. I was only here by the grace of scholarships and my job as resident advisor at the dorm. The idea of losing all that now just because some stupid boy had taken away my focus—that was unthinkable.
The professor was still in the front, typing into his computer. I slung my backpack over my shoulder as I approached him.
He looked up and smiled. “Ms. DiMartino. What can I do for you?”
I licked my lip. “That quiz—I’m sorry. I did study for it, and I thought I knew the information. I don’t know what happened.”
He shook his head. “What do you mean? What happened?”
“I got a C.”
“Oh. Right. Well, it was one of the tougher ones. No one aced it.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What can I do to make up for it? Can I write an extra paper? Or re-take it?”
Frowning, he shook his head. “It’s just a quiz. Don’t let it bother you. Your average in this class is almost perfect, if I remember right. One C isn’t going to fail you.”
I drew in a shaky breath. “I don’t want it to bring down my GPA. I’m here on an academic scholarship.”
He laughed. “Oh, Ms. DiMartino, if only my other students had just a little of your academic passion. But don’t let it give you an ulcer. Maybe you’ve been working too hard, and you need to give yourself a break.”
“I don’t take breaks.” That kind of thinking was what let people veer off-course and led to bad things. Things I didn’t want to think about.
He shook his head. “Well, try not to stress, okay? If you’re having trouble with the material, my door is always open. But I think you’re overreacting about this grade. You’re doing fine.”
The professor closed the computer and slid it into the case, which I knew meant this talk was over. I buttoned my coat as I opened the door to the cold gray of the late afternoon.
“Ava.”
Liam’s voice broke through my preoccupation. I stopped without turning around as annoyance flared.
“Not a good time.” I spoke though clenched teeth. “What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you. I know all the psych classes are in this building, so I figured you’d probably be here sooner or later. I’ve been sitting out here for the last forty-five minutes.”
Part of me wanted to smile. He’d been waiting for me that long, on the off-chance I might be in this building? Then I remembered the quiz, and I steeled myself.
“That’s a little creepy, Liam. Taking up stalking?” I kept my back to him, afraid meeting his eyes would weaken my resolve.
“I wouldn’t have to stalk you if you answered my texts or phone calls.”
I wheeled around, my eyes wide, and tilted my head in pretended surprise. “Hmm ... not picking up your calls or answering your texts ... you almost might think I didn’t want to talk to you.”
Looking at him was a mistake. He was leaning against a column, his hands deep in the pockets of the tan jacket that was buttoned high on his neck. His brown hair ruffled in the wind, and his eyes were stormy as he stared down at me. My traitorous hands wanted to run through his hair and smooth it down.
I bit down hard on that thought. Standing in front of me was the reason I’d been miserable all weekend, the cause of my disastrous quiz grade, and the person who’d offered my best friend strings-free sex just hours after kissing me senseless. There would be no touching.
He pushed off the column and stood closer to me. My heart skipped a little, but I willed myself not to take a step backward.
I pushed past him, intent on walking away.
“What the hell, Ava? I just want to talk with you.”
I snorted. “Well, I don’t want to talk to you. Or even see you. I want you to go away and leave me alone.”
“Can we please just go some place and talk? It’s cold out here. And I’m not going to give up. If you won’t come with me, I’ll just show up at your room. Your choice.”
I glanced around. There were still a number of students meandering in and out of the building, and a few girls cast curious looks our way. Liam didn’t maintain a low profile. He was a track star, son of a local political celebrity and active with Alpha Delt. I didn’t know many females who wouldn’t love to date him; even just standing here talking to him could start talk.
“Fine. But not any place someone might see us. And not for long. I’m busy.”
Liam smiled, and I averted my eyes. I couldn’t show weakness.
He pointed to the brick path that led behind the building. “My car’s in B lot, right here. Did you walk or drive?”
“I had to park back at the dorm. They hadn’t plowed enough for me to get a spot here after clinical.”
“I’ll drive you home, then. Come on.” He turned and headed down the hill, leaving me to follow, thinking what a bad idea this whole thing was.
I didn’t have trouble finding his black BMW, shiny against the snow banks. He clicked it unlocked and opened the passenger side door for me, and then jogged around to his side. Once in, he turned the key, cranked up the heat and flipped a switch near the gear shift.
“Heated seats. You’ll be toasty in a minute.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Nice. Us peasants are just happy when the heater blows hot air.”
Liam ignored me as he backed out, one hand on the headrest of my seat. “How about we get some coffee on our way to the dorm?”
“Oh, that’s a great idea. Let’s go to Beans, the place I hang out with my friends, and sit down there to talk. I’m sure no one will notice us.”
He sighed. “Give me some credit, okay? I thought I could run in, grab us some coffees to go, and then we could drink them in the car. I just spent a long time out in the cold. I could use something hot.” He shot me a look under a quirked eyebrow. “Unless you’d like to warm me up in another way. I’d give up coffee for that.”
My face heated. “God, Liam. Fine. Go get your coffee. Just park in the back, please. Your car isn’t exactly inconspicuous.”
He drove off campus into Gatbury, the little town that surrounded Birch College. My favorite coffee shop, Beans So Good, had become my home-away-from-dorm in freshman year. It was on the main street, only steps from the college. Liam pulled around to the back and parked nea
r the dumpster.
“This incognito enough for you, princess?” He smirked at me.
“It’s fine.” I folded my arms over my chest as he opened his door.
“What do you want to drink?”
I considered refusing the offer, but the aroma from Beans drifted in on the cold air.
“Medium espresso, please. Two sugars. Splash of cream.”
He climbed out. “Be right back.”
Warmth began to seep into my bones from the leather seats. I lay my head back and closed my eyes as sleepiness washed over me. The toll of my stress over the last few days was catching up with me. Sitting here in Liam’s car, drowsy and breathing his scent as it lingered, made me wonder why I’d gotten myself so worked up. What was the big deal, anyway? So he’d kissed me. So I’d kissed him back. It hadn’t gone further than that, and no one had to know. We could laugh about it, share a cup of coffee and then forget it ever happened.
I jolted awake when the door open and Liam slid back inside. He handed me a foam cup as I struggled to sit up straight.
“Catching a nap?” He snapped back the tab on the lid of his cup and blew into the hole before sipping.
“Yeah. I haven’t been sleeping well.” I wanted to bite off my tongue. Why did I tell him that? So he could tease about giving me sleepless nights?
But to my amazement, Liam didn’t make a smartass remark. He just shook his head.
“I don’t know anyone who works as hard you do, Ava. I’m surprised you’re not tired all the time.”
I took an experimental drink of my coffee, noting that it was perfect. I was surprised that he’d managed to get it right; I hadn’t given him specifics. Along with his remark about me working hard, he had caught me off-guard. I didn’t realize Liam had noticed that much about me.
“I usually do okay.” I hesitated a moment before going on. “But I’ve been a little distracted, I guess. I got a bad grade on a quiz today. I can’t let that happen.”
He put the car in gear, looking out the rear view mirror as he maneuvered out of the lot and back onto the street. “What did you get?”
I sighed. “I got a C on a quiz in cog psych.”
Liam glanced at me with raised brows and wide eyes. “That’s a bad grade?”
“It is for someone who has to maintain a certain average to keep her scholarship.”
“I get that.” He nodded, and I remembered that although Liam’s family certainly had enough money to send a dozen kids through school, his roommate Giff was at Birch on the same type of scholarship I had.
“Anyway, I can’t afford to take my focus off academics. So you’ve got to stop calling me and texting me. And waiting for me outside of classrooms.” I held up my cup. “Even if you do bribe me with hot coffee.”
He didn’t answer, though his mouth thinned a little. I wondered where he was driving us, since we weren’t going in the direction of campus. He turned down a side road and into a small park that sat on the edge of Gatbury. It was deserted today, and fields of untouched snow sprawled out white, dazzling even in the dull winter grayness.
Liam parked the car and picked up his coffee from the cup holder. We were both quiet for a few moments as he unfastened his seat belt and shifted to face me.
“I understand what you’re saying.” He finally spoke, staring out the windshield. “I’m sorry for being a distraction. I just ...” He rubbed a hand on his jean-covered knee. “I wanted to give this a chance. Like I said, I didn’t mean to kiss you the other night, but once I did, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
“That’s—” I shook my head. “Don’t say stuff like that. I don’t want to hear it. I feel guilty enough already.”
“But I wanted you to know something. Last year, when I went out with Julia the first night, we had an okay time. She’s cool, you know. Funny and pretty. And then I went to pick her up for our next date, and you were there. Do you remember that? She was running late. We talked about the Middle East after I told you I was a poli sci major.”
“I remember.” That night after Julia got back home, I had told her there was more to Liam Bailey than I’d expected.
“Julia and I talked about you at dinner. I wasn’t sure I wanted to let anything serious happen with her, and we got to talking about our roommates. She told me you were the smartest person she’d ever known, her best friend outside her sisters, and then she said you were the perfect roommate because you didn’t date, so she never had to worry about strange guys being in her room. She said guys asked you out all the time, but you always said no. So I figured it was a lost cause. I’m not saying I kept going out with Julia for that reason only. Like I told you, we just kind of fell into it.”
I closed my eyes. “I don’t want to hear this, Liam.”
“I didn’t want to like you like that. But when everything else fell apart, all I could think was that now maybe I had a chance with you.”
“Nothing has changed. I don’t date. And if I did, I would never hurt Julia like that.” I drained my cup.
“You told me she was okay. Why should she care?”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s the principle. Friends don’t date friends’ exes.” I looked at the clock on the dash. “And I need to get back to the dorm. Jules is going to worry about me.”
Liam put his coffee back in the holder and turned in his seat. “I want to go on record as saying that’s a lame-ass reason not to go out with me. If you don’t like me, don’t want to be with me, that’s one thing, but just because I went out with your friend? Stupid.”
“I guess you’re entitled to your opinion. Doesn’t change anything.”
“Yeah, it does, actually. It pisses me off. Because you know what, Ava? The other night, when I was kissing you, you were into it. You may be able to convince yourself that it was just me, that I surprised you, but that’s bullshit.”
The truth stung. “That doesn’t prove a thing. I might not date, but it doesn’t mean I’m made of stone. I’m human.” All too human, I thought smothering a sigh.
“Really?” Liam leaned toward me, his eyes fastened on mine. “So did you enjoy kissing me?”
I flushed and dropped my eyes to stare at the console. “Please don’t do this to me, Liam.”
“Do what? Make you admit that you might have feelings for me, too?”
“Even if I did, I’m smart enough not to act on them.” I had to remember who he was. No matter how steady his blue eyes were, how intoxicating he smelled ... this was still Liam.
“Why is that smart?”
“Because I know you’re either lying to me or to yourself. Maybe to both of us. Because Saturday morning, not even twelve hours after you were lying on my bed kissing me senseless, you were offering Julia strings-free sex.”
Liam froze. His eyes closed, and he swallowed hard.
“Did you think she wouldn’t tell me that? What kind of a fool do you think I am?”
“No, I didn’t think about it all.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I was mad at her. She’s just so damned aggravating sometimes.”
“That’s a lot of passion for someone you claim not to care about. Maybe you need to rethink how you feel about Jules.”
Liam shook his head. “She irritates me, like nails on a chalkboard. That’s not passion.” He reached across and snagged my hand, holding tight even when I tried to pull back. “You, on the other hand, make me crazy, until I just want to—do this.”
He tugged me closer with the hand he still held, and before I could protest, he was kissing me. This wasn’t the tentative and gentle kiss he’d started with the other night; this was full-on take over of my senses. His mouth was open over mine, his tongue making insistent forays against my lips until I parted them.
He slid his hand up my arm to the back of my neck and threaded his fingers through my hair, holding my head in place and angling his to cover my mouth more completely. My heart thudded until I was sure he could feel it, and the small voice that always kept me
on the straight and narrow was drowned out by the blood rushing in my ears. A thrill of heat shot down my center, and I only wanted more. I wanted his hands down my body, the weight of him on top of me ...
My telephone buzzed in my pocket against my hip, jolting me to awareness. I leaned back away from Liam, flattening my hand on his chest when he made to follow me.
“Wait—my phone.” I stretched to dig it out, arching my back to be able to reach it while Liam collapsed into his own seat with a groan.
“Julia’s texting me. She wants to know where I am. God, what is wrong with me?” I dropped my head into hands, my phone on my lap.
“Nothing’s wrong with you.” Liam’s hand ventured over to touch the back of my head, stroke down my mess of hair.
“Yes, there is. You’re a terrible person because you brought me out here, and I’m a terrible person because I like kissing you. Take me back, please.”
“Ava, you’re not a terrible person. And neither am I. But you—hey, you admitted it.”
“What?” I looked at him through my fingers.
He grinned at me, touching my cheek. “You said you like kissing me.”
“Ugh!” I groaned and covered my face again. “You’re incorrigible.”
He laughed at me as he put the car in gear and pulled out of the park. “Maybe I am, but just remember, you’re the one who likes kissing me.
JULIA COULD TELL something was wrong. I saw her watching me, an odd expression on her face, more than once over the rest of the week. I avoided her, going right to the library from class and adding a few extra study groups to my schedule. I decided it was penance for my sins. Plus maybe it would keep me from screwing up any more quizzes.
Liam kept up a steady stream of texts, pestering me until I answered. He showed up outside my class again, and after a little persuasion, I agreed to let him walk me to the library, as long as he kept his hands—and his lips—to himself.
But the guilt didn’t go away.
Julia was gone all day Saturday at a journalism conference in Philadelphia. As much as I loved her, it was a relief to have the room to myself for a day. I hadn’t told Liam that she was going to be away, because I was afraid he would show up and tempt me beyond my ability to say no.
Just Desserts Page 4
