Sentinel's Dagger (D'Vaire, Book 2)
Page 6
In the meantime, he saw no reason for them not to try and forge a friendship. It would be a good way for Gavrael to work on his communication skills and deal with the panic and fright that seized him when he thought about the task of being a good mate to Gedeon. He could only hope Gedeon managed to miss his anxiety and didn’t figure out that Gavrael wasn’t a worthy example of their kind. Taught to inflict mortal wounds, sentinels certainly shouldn’t be filled with dread at the mere idea of talking, let alone filled with terror about forging a relationship with the person gifted to you by Fate.
Shortly after Gavrael sat down to eat breakfast, Gedeon entered the kitchen and began filling his own plate. Gavrael averted his eyes and concentrated hard on his food, but he was fully aware Gedeon was headed, plate in hand, for his table. The kitchen was very expansive, and because Aleksander preferred an informal family design to his home, it included an oversized eating area set up with several round wooden tables and cushioned chairs.
Pulling out the chair on Gavrael’s right, Gedeon placed his plate on the table and took a seat. “Good morning, Gavrael.”
“Good morning,” he echoed without looking up from his eggs and bacon.
“Where do we train here?” Gedeon asked as he began eating.
“Outside.”
“I’m looking forward to training with a real person instead of a magical hologram,” Gedeon said, and Gavrael could hear the smile in his voice. He could understand his excitement and was quietly thrilled he wished to train together. After all, it was Gavrael’s favorite thing to do, and now he would have the pleasure of not only getting to share it with someone but with his mate. It occurred to Gavrael: that was probably the only part of having a mate that wasn’t frightening. Of course, his fears were easy to forget when the other sentinel was grinning. So far Gedeon seemed to wear that smile of his often; it was not a facial expression Gavrael used, but it suited his mate’s handsome face. It was a shame he only got the side view at the moment, but he needed to focus and offer a reply.
“I am as well,” Gavrael stated without allowing the excitement coursing through him to bubble anywhere close to the surface. His own feelings were ultimately irrelevant anyway; his brain screamed that nothing mattered but Gedeon.
“Great. After breakfast, then?”
“Yes.”
“Hey Gedeon, how did you sleep? Miss your old home yet?” Renny asked as he plopped down in the chair across from the two sentinels. Gavrael was immediately relieved; he would very much like to know the answers to those questions too.
“Good morning, Renny. I slept great; I never imagined a bed could be that comfortable. I don’t miss the compound at all. I would describe it as the exact opposite of here: it’s dark and dreary, and everything pretty much looks the same. I can’t imagine anyone missing a place like that,” Gedeon responded with a light chuckle.
“Oh, really? Gavrael doesn’t like to talk about it. I guess we all kinda assumed it made him homesick, but I guess if the place sucks he probably isn’t missing it,” Renny said, and Gavrael became the focus of everyone in the room.
He hated when that happened. They all seemed to be waiting for some sort of reply from him, but no one had said a word to him about being “homesick.” Gavrael had lived for ninety-four years at the compound, but Court D’Vaire was his first home. It might not make sense outside of his head to say, but it was how he felt. The silence continued to stretch out, and Gavrael was getting used to it. That awkward tension was becoming a regular part of each day.
“I am not homesick,” Gavrael finally offered, and Renny gave him a quick grin. Apparently, he had managed to respond appropriately. That was an unaccustomed relief; so often the thoughts in his head seemed to lose something on the way to his mouth. It was as if there was some meandering pathway that snagged his true meaning and ripped away all the words, so the only thing that came out of his face was a syllable or two. Frustrated did not begin to describe how it made him feel. He was determined to find a way to circumvent the process and let the world around him know how he felt about things.
* * *
After a few hours of very worthwhile and enjoyable training in the sandy backyard of their home, the two sentinels returned to the house and filled their bellies with lunch. The afternoon was a repeat of the morning’s activities, and at dinnertime, they returned indoors to feast. It was a life Gedeon could easily become accustomed to, and although Gavrael barely spoke all day, he seemed to be enjoying himself as well.
Gedeon did not know if the other sentinel experienced those same unexpected and numerous moments of the blood in his body collecting in his groin. He felt unbelievably peaceful when near Gavrael, but didn’t feel comfortable approaching that particular problem.
It was not going to deter his quest for answers. There were plenty of people in the house, and Gedeon was compiling a list of questions. Gedeon knew all the D’Vaires by name; now he just needed to pick a lucky soul to inundate.
After finishing his delicious dinner, he headed down to the bottom floor of the gigantic home. This level contained a library, theater room, game room, and several spaces to lounge. Gedeon had watched a few of his new housemates wander down, and he was hoping to corner one of them.
Looking into the first doorway, he saw Aleksander making himself comfortable in one of the lounge rooms. His new king would definitely be able to help him out.
“Aleksander, may I speak with you?” Gedeon asked.
“Absolutely. Come on in and have a seat,” Aleksander replied and waved him into the room. Gedeon did not hesitate; he strode in and took a seat on the overstuffed chair next to the large sofa Aleksander reclined on.
“I want to thank you for allowing me to live here. I have a few questions,” Gedeon began. “Would you mind answering them for me?”
“We’re grateful to have you. I’d be happy to answer any of your questions.”
“Yesterday when I arrived, my necromancer, Trystan, was introduced to me. Blodwen was introduced as his mate. I don’t know the meaning of this word.” Gedeon thought it was perhaps not the best to start with his whole penis issue.
“A mate is the other half of your soul. Shifters and people born or created by magic are gifted by Fate a person who is meant to share your life. It’s said they will be your perfect complement. Perhaps strong where you are weak or given attributes that mesh well with your own personality. When you meet them, you’ll know. A lot of people talk about smelling what they describe as a perfect scent, and your body will respond physically. Just finding them isn’t a guarantee, though; as a couple you’ll have to work together to find happiness,” Aleksander said.
“So, I have a mate?” Gedeon was thrilled by the idea. Nothing could please him more than the thought that he never had to be alone again.
“I believe so.”
“Quite amazing,” Gedeon replied before digging further. “What physical response?”
“Well, when Gavrael arrived, he also asked about mates. The other thing he knew nothing about was sex. I’m assuming these aren’t things that are taught at your former home,” Aleksander offered with a dark eyebrow raised in question.
“Sex? No, I have never heard that word before.”
“Because of what Gavrael has revealed to us, we believe sentinels lack any kind of sexuality before they meet their mates. After finding yours, you will experience lust. Lust causes your body to react physically. The most, shall we say, noticeable thing that will happen is your penis will become filled with blood and harden. When that happens to you for the first time, you will know you have met your mate. Those lustful feelings will, if all goes well, lead to sex. I’ll ask a few of the mated couples to explain what sex entails. It is best to come from them,” Aleksander concluded, and Gedeon could do nothing but stare at the man sitting in the room with him. His penis had become hard when he first saw Gavrael.
Gavrael.
If he had the same “lust” feeling for Gedeon, then they must be mates.
Aleksander sent Brogan, Trystan, and Larissa in to explain what sexual intercourse was and how it differed depending on the gender of the mates involved. Brogan also explained it was possible to have sex by yourself. Gedeon was now alone in the room he originally found his king in and his thoughts had turned lustful.
It had been so easy while listening to Brogan to imagine himself and Gavrael doing various things to each other. Gedeon’s ass clenched, and he knew he wanted Gavrael buried deep inside him. There was no way he was feeling at all lacking in sexuality where his new roommate was concerned. But Gedeon didn’t know if the other sentinel had the same physical response to him.
No one mentioned just one person feeling a physical response if the pair were mates. It seemed to Gedeon that if he could determine if Gavrael felt lust for him, he would know without having to put them through what could be a very embarrassing exchange if they were mates. Aleksander mentioned they thought Gavrael was lacking in sexuality and therefore came to the conclusion all sentinels were the same before meeting their mates.
Gedeon believed that was a good theory, but how could they possibly be sure it was all sentinels? Or confined only to Gavrael? Maybe Gedeon’s original theory that the whole dick-hardening thing happened to any sentinels in close proximity could also be true. A gasp escaped him.
If that were true, then if he did see Gavrael’s pants tented in his direction it was not proof they were mates. Shit, Gedeon thought, all this mate business was making his head start to hurt. Gedeon decided he needed to gather some data and figure out what the hell it meant, and his first order of business was finding out if Gavrael’s cock thickened when he got near Gedeon.
He would not waste his energy on coming to any conclusions until after he knew the two of them were in the same boat. Giving himself a nod, he decided to head upstairs and get some rest, but first, he was going to jump into the shower and give this masturbation thing a try.
* * *
Days after Gedeon’s arrival, Gavrael was already enamored with him. His mate was a tremendous sentinel. Sharp reflexes, a cunning and tactical mind, and very talented with the daggers that were their races’ weapon of choice. Gedeon made an easy roommate: he was neat and orderly, always inquired before taking over their shared bathroom, and Gavrael felt comfortable around him.
Comfortable might not be the right word. Upon further thought, Gavrael decided comfortable wasn’t the appropriate word at all. Frustrated was more accurate, and he would throw confused into the mix as well. Gavrael was exasperated because he still tripped over his tongue when trying to talk to him, but he could not lay the blame for that at Gedeon’s feet because honestly, Gavrael felt that way around everyone. The physical frustration, he knew, was entirely due to his mate’s presence.
Gavrael was hard all the damn time. Brogan explained to him in their sex talk that he could take his own cock in hand and stroke it until the hardness went away, but Gavrael would be damned if he would allow his penis to dictate to him what he should do and when. The problem was, his dick just waited for him to go to sleep before it ejaculated all over the inside of his underpants. Each morning he snuck into the bathroom and jumped into the shower before his mate woke up.
Recently he’d begun wearing two pairs of underwear when he slept to try and minimize the risk of Gedeon figuring out what was going on just a few feet from his own bed each night. Gavrael would probably never recover from the mortification of his wayward body should Gedeon get a peek at his stained clothing. Sentinels were trained to keep control of their bodies at all times.
He knew Gedeon must be having similar physical issues, but so far Gavrael had seen no sign of it. Of course, Gedeon took many more showers per day than he did. Perhaps his mate’s dick was sending him in there; it was possible he was willing to spend time masturbating to tackle the problem. Gavrael was certainly not going to ask him; he’d only just arrived here. Both of their dicks could damn well wait, Gavrael decided in irritation.
So Gavrael did his best each day to deal with his frustration and refused to contemplate further how Gedeon dealt with his own. Which left him with his other prominent feeling: confusion. Gedeon confused him. He was…well, animated. Completely unlike Gavrael. For some reason, Gavrael had thought all sentinels would be as reserved as he was. Alaric delivered news and other appropriate information, but his face remained mostly expressionless. Still, Gavrael was pleased his mate seemed to have little trouble articulating his thoughts and feelings.
Gedeon smiled. He laughed. Gedeon had a wonderful deep laugh. He talked. A lot. Gedeon was a veritable chatterbox. Larissa was the only one in the house that talked more than Gedeon. Not that Gavrael had first-hand experience with Gedeon’s conversational skills. The one and only person in the house Gedeon did not seem to chat easily with was his mate.
Gavrael had finally figured out why that was, last night while lying in bed—ignoring his dick, and listening to his mate breathe. It amazed Gavrael that he had not figured it out right away. Gedeon could not relate to Gavrael any more than anyone else in the world, it seemed. Gavrael’s inability to articulate his thoughts into words was undoubtedly something the other sentinel had picked up on. He wondered if Gedeon was already disappointed that Gavrael was sorely lacking in conversational skills.
He hoped as they both adapted to life outside the compound, Gavrael’s ability to communicate would get better and his mate…well, he didn’t need to change a damn thing. It was Gavrael with the problem. Or to be more accurate, problems. As if the communication issue was not enough, Gavrael had what could only be described as an unreasonable fear of trying to create a relationship with his mate. He could not see how Gedeon would be happy with him. After all, the fear was something as a sentinel he should have been able to overcome swiftly. It filled Gavrael with shame that he was less of a sentinel than his mate was, and that shame fueled more fear. Would Gedeon feel the same amount of shame when he learned he was stuck with Gavrael? His mind was a vicious circle of self-recrimination. Gavrael needed time to try and fix his wool-wrapped tongue and shove away his terror at the situation.
Not knowing if Gedeon could relate to any of what he was feeling, he was determined to give him an equal measure of time to learn all he could about their new lives. His mate appeared to be a quick study, but there was plenty to discover. He was certainly not going to complain should Gedeon ultimately learn more than him and even teach Gavrael a thing or two.
His inability to communicate effectively had also delayed a much-needed conversation with his necromancer, Gavrael thought as he hunted for Blodwen. He’d been told about her fright, and he had sensed it emanating from her at his arrival. It did not sit comfortably with him and demanded correction. Striding into the living room, he found her chatting amicably with her mate and Dra’Kaedan.
“Hey Gavrael,” the blond warlock said as soon as he spotted him.
“Hello to all of you. Blodwen, may I speak with you?” Gavrael asked, getting right to the point. No sense in getting tongue-twisted in a group when he was sure he was going to stick his foot in his mouth multiple times with a one-on-one discussion.
“Sure, wanna go outside? I don’t think anyone is out on the deck.” Gavrael quickly agreed and followed her out the door onto the large deck attached to the back of the house. It was expansive and like the living room, littered with padded furniture to encourage people to lounge and relax.
“Thank you for your time,” Gavrael said as he lowered himself onto a deck chair.
“Anytime,” she replied as she grabbed a seat for herself on a chair close by.
“You are afraid of me,” he stated without preamble.
B
lodwen’s gray eyes widened a bit before she replied, “I was afraid of sentinels all my life. I mean, you guys have a fearsome reputation, and there aren’t a lot of you around. I heard rumors about one killing their necromancer. That was the biggest thing that kept me from summoning you.”
“I have heard that story since my arrival, but I have no reason to believe it is true.”
She gave him a weak smile. “Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have based my decision on a bunch of rumors. I feel like I owe you a huge apology. I’m sorry I didn’t summon you at eighteen, and I’m sorry I didn’t summon you every year between now and then.”
“You owe me no apology,” he said quickly. The last thing Gavrael wanted was for Blodwen to feel guilty for her decision.
“We are probably going to have to agree to disagree on that one.”
“Your fear led you to D’Vaire.”
This time her smile was bright and reached all the way up to her eyes. “Yes, it did. If I wasn’t afraid, the other necros wouldn’t have done all they could to push me away. I wouldn’t have been sitting on the ground getting tripped over by Dra’Kaedan while crying my eyes out over another lost job.”
Gavrael nodded; he had heard the story of her arrival before and knew if she had summoned him in her youth, neither one of them would be sitting outside enjoying the fragrance of Dravyn’s garden. “Without your fear, I would still be at the compound.”
“I’d like to think I would’ve kept you around as a friend, but you’re right. Necromancers summon their sentinels once and then forget about them.”
“Your apology is unnecessary.”
“Not gonna let that go, are you? Fine, I take it back. I’m not sorry I was afraid, and I’m not sorry I didn’t summon you at eighteen,” Blodwen said with a laugh.