Sentinel's Dagger (D'Vaire, Book 2)

by Jessamyn Kingley

  “I don’t think they were good to him at all. He’s very nice, and I’m glad he’s my friend. We can’t just leave him here,” Idris argued. It wasn’t like Idris had a great many friends to choose from, he thought. It was imperative in his mind he take care of both Latarian and Edion. They were his family now.

  “It is pointless to argue about this. My mind is made up. Edion stays here,” Latarian said and once again lifted her skirts slightly as she headed toward the front of the house. Idris followed her as she wound through the rooms to the once-grand staircase in the large foyer.

  “Can we bring him with us? Please?”

  Latarian had taken a single step up the stairs when he let out his fervent plea, and she stopped her climb and dropped her skirts to turn and face Idris. She narrowed her pale green eyes at him. “Idris, I grow weary of this discussion. Leave some food out for your precious elf, and stop bothering me about his health. He will not suffer greatly in our absence.”

  “You aren’t listening though; he needs me.”

  “No one needs you, Idris. He hardly knows you. Likely he will not miss you during our absence. Now, gather your things. We will leave shortly.”

  “Latarian, you are wrong. He has to come with us.” The words had no sooner left his mouth before he felt the sharp sting of a slap across his left cheek. Idris immediately lifted his own hand to the same cheek and felt the heat her palm had left behind.

  “Idris, this plan is my own creation; therefore it is I who will make the decisions. Now gather your things as I have ordered,” she said coldly before she turned on her heel and left Idris still standing in the hallway holding his abused cheek. Although she had cuffed him on the head before, she had never slapped him with so much hostility. Idris was heartbroken over the idea of leaving Edion home alone, but he knew Latarian was not going to be swayed.

  This Dre’Kariston person better not keep them waiting long, Idris thought crossly. They needed to get home so Idris and Latarian could create a cottage and garden for Edion. Finally letting his hand drop from his face, Idris thought perhaps it would be a two-person cottage and Latarian could have the big house all to herself.

  Chapter 12

  For the first time in his life, Gavrael was not spending his morning doing what he felt was integral to his life as a sentinel: training. Instead of doing something that had once been the only thing he looked forward to in his life, he was tackling a task Gavrael could only describe as the most loathsome thing he had ever done. He was helping his mate transfer his belongings from their once-shared room to his new room on the upper level of their home.

  Gavrael thought Gedeon’s new room was incredible. The walls were a light teal with white trim except for one wall which had horizontal stripes of a sharp green a few shades lighter than the poisoned daggers that were so much a part of every sentinel. A sturdy white bedframe showcased the enormous bed Gedeon had chosen, and it was piled high with throw pillows that were covered in a multitude of harmonious fabrics in white, teal, and green. It matched well with the small seating area that faced the enormous French doors that led to the balcony.

  The other pieces of furniture in the room were the same bright white as the bedframe; they contrasted beautifully with the pale wooden floors. Gavrael was so pleased his mate had such a stunning room to call his own, and he was proud Gedeon had done such a fantastic job in decorating it. It made the gray monotony of his own space more unappealing, especially since he would now be in there all alone.

  After yesterday’s fight, Gavrael was pretty sure he would always be by himself. It had not been intentional, but it seemed Gavrael’s plan to allow Gedeon time to acclimate to life at Court D’Vaire had backfired. Last night while lying in bed, Gavrael had reached some troubling conclusions. Despite the weeks that had passed, he was no closer to being the type of partner Gedeon deserved.

  Gavrael was afraid he would never figure out how to be like everyone else. Words would never flow easily from his brain to his mouth. If that were not enough, Gavrael was terrified he would not be a good mate to Gedeon. So, he had come up with what had seemed like a reasonable delay when in reality, it was just an excuse.

  An excuse that had driven his mate away because he had not explained to Gedeon any of his fears or his own issues with adjusting. The simple truth was, Gavrael doubted he had the ability to explain. Gavrael had dedicated all his time and effort to being a great sentinel. If he had known mates existed and he would someday have one, Gavrael might have been better equipped to deal with the situation. It was obvious he did not adapt easily, and now he doubted he would ever figure out how to be a good partner and a normal part of the D’Vaire family.

  It was unfortunate there were no known demons. If there were any reasonable proof such creatures still existed, Gavrael would dedicate his life to finding one. They were the only race that might be able to free Gedeon from this matebond. Of course, no one knew for sure if the spell worked, but it would certainly be worth testing out if it meant Gedeon would be free of Gavrael. He owed that to Gedeon.

  Gavrael knew Gedeon did not deserve to be stuck with someone like him. Since there was nothing Gavrael could do about the choice Fate made for the two of them, it was clear he needed to come up with a viable solution. It was a good thing there was an easy one at hand. All Gavrael needed to do was return to the compound that had housed him for the majority of his life.

  While it meant giving up all the beauty of this world and all the luxuries it provided, the sacrifice was more than worth it if it meant Gedeon would be happy. He couldn’t be a good mate to him, so he needed to leave. If Gedeon knew how cowardly Gavrael was, he would be beyond disappointed. He would most likely reject Gavrael outright if he knew what a disgrace he was to their people. Why would he want a sentinel that could not overcome fear? What kind of mate failed in the most basic skill of communication? There was no choice but to save him the humiliation of such discoveries of Gavrael’s true character.

  Gavrael intended to spend the weekend packing up his belongings, and on Monday night at their meeting, he would thank all the D’Vaires for being so wonderful to him. Showing his gratitude was important to Gavrael; he was determined to put together a speech that expressed that. It would wound him greatly if he did not make it clear how much he appreciated everything he had gained in the last few months. It would keep him focused, and hopefully that would keep his despair at bay.

  Although the last couple of weeks had found the two of them so very far apart, Gavrael could at least see his mate. It was something that brought him comfort, but he would do without for Gedeon’s happiness. After returning, his time would be spent working on his lack of communication skills. He would load up his tablet with as many books as he could and hope it worked after arriving at his old residence.

  Perhaps someday Gedeon would give Gavrael a second chance. They were, after all, stuck together for eternity. After a century or two apart, Gedeon might be willing to try again. It was a hope he clung to because the thought of never seeing his mate again was depressing enough to freeze the blood in his veins. The truth was, it was not going to be easy to put Court D’Vaire behind him, but he had no choice. If he stayed, Gedeon would have to suffer Gavrael’s presence in his life.

  When the last bit of Gedeon’s things were finally placed in his new room, Gavrael retreated to his own space. There were only a few minutes before lunchtime, so he slipped on his headphones and sympathized with the female voice lamenting about not giving her love the reasons why she was forced to let go. Like the song he loved so much, he doubted Gedeon would ever forgive him, but he knew his mate would be all right.

  * * *

  Saturday morning found Gedeon standing on the balcony of his new room. The view was incredible. Dravyn’s garden was seemingly endless, and it appeared as if every color of the rainbow was represented in the flowers visible from the house. Beyond the beauty, the garden also had rows and rows of all manner of fruits and vegetables. But that wasn’t what was holding
Gedeon’s attention this morning. Gavrael was down there, doing what he did best, training.

  Gedeon knew he was not his mate’s match either physically or apparently, mentally. Last night while lying in his giant new bed Gedeon realized, belatedly, he was all alone in his pretty new room and what was worse, he had alienated Gavrael. That was a tactical error if there ever was one. Gedeon wasn’t sure what kind of sentinel he was; he should have been able to keep his composure under any and all situations.

  The other night, Gedeon had lost his temper and shouted at Gavrael. His words had not been fair nor had he ever meant to spend his nights away from his mate. The biggest question at this point was how in the world they would ever live together as Fate intended. It seemed they had no clue at all how to deal with one another.

  Of course, that was because sentinels were not told about mates. Someone needed to seriously remedy that situation, Gedeon realized. It was cruel enough they were all imprisoned at the compound, but it was absolute punishment that once they were in the outside world and introduced to their mates, they were clueless. Obviously, Gavrael needed time and was unable to admit such a weakness, so he insisted Gedeon needed time as well. That this was only now occurring to Gedeon was enough to make him want to kick his own ass.

  In his defense, when he met Gavrael it had quite literally changed his life. He had gone from living in a prison cell to finding out there was one person in the universe that was a perfect match for him. The difficulty was, you had to figure out how to relate to each other. Sentinels were not given lessons on communication. It was futile. You were a killing machine and nothing more. Or so it had seemed.

  Clearly, Fate intended them to have greater purpose in life. Someone should clue in all these necromancers keeping their sentinels tucked away at the compound that they were intended for far more. There were no books of love nor of life. The only thing that mattered was doing your job. Their bodies experienced no desire; they were not taught about sex—it was not a word ever mentioned. Sentinels lived in cages waiting patiently, or impatiently in Gedeon’s case, to be summoned for their sacred, deadly duty. But these thoughts of his were merely distractions from what he needed to be focused on, and that was how to fix his own situation.

  The answer to that dilemma was not going to be an easy one. Gedeon’s mate took stubbornness to a new and irritatingly epic level. Until the man figured out how to deal with his own adjustment issues, Gedeon would continue to beat his head against the brick wall named Gavrael. He had no idea how they would ever take the first steps towards cementing their bond.

  Gedeon watched his mate move fluidly as he struck the hologram in front of him over and over with his daggers. Living without those two weapons was still not something Gedeon relished, but now it would look strange to return to his sentinel gray even if it was what he wanted. Huffing out a heavy breath, Gedeon turned and walked back into the house. Gavrael would be wrapping up his training in a few minutes, and he did not want to get caught watching him.

  For now, the only solution at hand was to give Gavrael the space he needed. Perhaps over the next week or two, Gedeon could slowly try to reinstate himself into Gavrael’s life. Maybe if they began training together again, it would help them reconnect on some level. It would also give Gedeon a great excuse to get back into his normal clothes and wear his daggers because it was bugging the shit out of him. Like the fucked-up maelstrom of his life these days, he recognized that all the blame for the loss of his beloved weapons lay solely on his own shoulders.

  * * *

  The entire weekend flew by too fast for Gavrael’s liking. He was trying to squeeze in as many memories as he could. There were things he wanted to take with him. Gedeon’s smile would keep him warm when he once again slept in a stone cell. It was an expression the other sentinel wore often and that was another memory he wanted to keep close to his heart. His mate liked to be happy, and leaving for the compound assured him Gedeon would remain filled with joy. Surely this meant Gavrael was doing the right thing.

  He knew the situation was less than ideal. Mates were supposed to be together, but his inability to converse with others made it impossible. Too many years locked in a cage left him with no communication skills. It was something he intended to work on while he was away.

  Although he would be more alone than ever was not going to be a deterrent or a detriment. Gavrael would keep a journal of his feelings and thoughts and talk to the damn walls if he had to, but he was determined to find a way outside of his own head. Perhaps he could summon up his training hologram and converse with it until the feelings of inadequacy and uncomfortableness fled. Surely that would also be the key to unlocking the fear that made him feel frozen inside.

  It seemed crazy to return to the very place that had crippled his ability to care for his partner, but Gavrael knew he had no other choice. Whenever he was in Gedeon’s space, he unintentionally pissed him off. Gedeon was fond of his life at Court D’Vaire, and without Gavrael’s presence to irritate, annoy, or aggravate him, no doubt he would be overjoyed.

  That thought gave him the courage he needed to voice all the things he wanted the inhabitants of this lovely home to know before he left. All weekend Gavrael had worked on writing down and then memorizing the words in his head and heart. There were only minutes before he was expected at their weekly meeting, and he looked over his speech one last time. They might not be poetry, but the words were honest.

  Tonight’s meeting left him with a fresh dose of fear. The good news was, this was the type he could easily overcome. Taking a deep breath, he allowed his terror of the evening to consume him before releasing himself from the tension. Carefully exhaling, he pushed his dread out into the world and opened his eyes. It no longer had the ability to affect him, for he would not allow it. If only the terror of being a good partner in life were so easily set aside.

  Putting one dark gray boot in front of the other, Gavrael kept his mind clear as he grabbed his bag of belongings and the D’Vaire sash made of Aleksander’s blue-black dragonskin, given to him soon after his arrival, and headed out of his bedroom for the last time.

  Gavrael set his duffel and sash in the hallway before entering the living room and found a seat near the edge of the room. It appeared as if he was the last person to arrive, so they would get started right away. His fear of the night dealt with, Gavrael now wanted his opportunity to give his speech so he could return to the compound. It was time to get started on the next phase of his life, he thought and tried not to feel the weight of his disappointment, but it was impossible to ignore.

  Chapter 13

  Sitting through the meeting was turning out to be a conundrum for Gavrael. His brain begged Aleksander to get to the end, so Gavrael could talk and get it over with. It was his heart that wanted the night to last as long as possible, so he could continue to observe the man he wished he could share his life with. Of course, his thoughts then jumped to his complete lack of spine that was forcing him to leave in the first place. It was a dizzying abyss that threatened to pull him under.

  He had no time to sink deeply into his desolation as it was a mere thirty minutes before Aleksander spoke the words Gavrael had prepared for all weekend, “Gavrael has asked for a few minutes to speak to you guys tonight. Gavrael?”

  “Thank you, Aleksander,” Gavrael began as he stood. “First, I wish to express my gratitude to Blodwen for summoning me. I know it was not an easy decision for you, but I will be forever grateful you did. King Aleksander, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your court and your family.”

  “We are delighted to have you as a D’Vaire,” Aleksander said. Gavrael acknowledged his words with a nod. It meant so much to him that his once and hopefully future king liked having him here.

  “All of you have impacted my life greatly, and I wish I had the words to express my appreciation, but please know I have enjoyed every moment of my life here. It is not easy for me to translate the thoughts in my head into words, so I know that what I say
tonight will be inadequate, but please understand I did not know happiness until I arrived here.

  “Gedeon, thank you for the time you spent training with me. Thank you for the privilege of being your roommate and congratulations on decorating such a beautiful, colorful room. I hope it brings you joy.” He took a moment to collect himself as he stared deeply into the stunning green eyes of his mate. Like the others in the room, his eyes appeared to be full of confusion, but Gavrael was about to explain himself. “As you all must have noticed, I have struggled to adjust to life here. It could be that I suffer from this flaw the necromancers noted when we were sent to live at the compound. I do not know. What I do know is, I lack many things for survival. I need to learn new skills. The best place for a sentinel to learn is at the compound. Excuse me, I will return in a moment.”

  Gavrael walked out of the living room and to the hallway where he had stashed his things. He carried the bag he had packed and the D’Vaire sash back into the room. Setting the duffel at his feet, he held out the sash to Aleksander. “Your Highness, it was my distinct pleasure to be a D’Vaire. I hope to someday return and wear this sash again with great pride.”

  Aleksander took it and replied, “The honor is mine.”

  Before Gavrael could respond to Aleksander’s words, Gedeon jumped to his feet and blurted out, “What the fuck is going on here?”

  “I am returning to the compound,” Gavrael explained as he met his mate’s eyes.

  “The hell you are,” Gedeon said in a steely tone.

  “Gedeon, the choice is Gavrael’s to make,” Aleksander said quietly.

  “No, it’s not. It’s not only his choice to make. It’s mine as well,” his mate argued as he clenched his fists at his sides.

  “Gedeon, this is for the best,” Gavrael said.