Dirty Money: A Dark Mafia Romance (Alpha Men Book 1)

by Roxy Sinclaire

  As the afterglow slowly wore off, confusion took hold. What the hell was that just now?

  Sex had always been about an exchange for me. I went for the same women my father did; women out of my league who wouldn’t want more from me than a bit of fun, and even just to get that, it was a challenge getting them to notice me at all and keep their attention on me. I'd felt a sick satisfaction every time they fell for the act. They didn’t think much of me except as a dirty secret, and I'd been okay with that; it was so much better than getting into entanglements with women that expected so much more from me.

  Destiny wasn’t like any of them. We exchanged something, without a doubt, but there were no mind games involved. I wasn’t the caring type, but I wanted to protect her, if she allowed me to. I wasn’t a knight in shining armor, but surely I was better than nothing? When the word 'love' suddenly popped into my brain, I thought I'd finally gone insane.

  But then I realized that… it could be what I felt about her. I wanted to protect her… and love her. If she would let me.

  Of course, we had to live through the next few days, first.

  Chapter 12

  Destiny

  Alex was gentle.

  I'd made the inference plenty of times in the past few weeks, but the discovery was still a surprise to me. It also felt good, great in fact; the first time in a while I'd slept with a man and didn’t feel like scratching off my skin afterward.

  More than that, I felt safe with Alex, something I would have expected to feel more with Angelo. Alex was big, but Angelo was infinitely bigger; a few inches taller, more body mass.

  But being with Angelo had felt very different, not even close to safe. Being with him felt like I was being consumed. It hadn't bothered me in the beginning, I thought I could be with him and remain unaffected. However, I started to lose myself in him, then when I lost everything else, he was all I had.

  He grew cruel then, and I had no way out. And then all there was left, was fear.

  It surprised me that such a big man as Alex was could make me feel safe after Angelo and the numerous 'friends' he had me entertain, sometimes as he watched, sometimes with several people there to view it.

  I wanted Alex. For more than just to stay with him, I thought I might love him. It wasn’t anything I'd ever felt before, but the thought of losing him made my chest burn.

  Don’t think about it.

  I pushed that all aside, not wanting anything to destroy my good mood. My body shivered lightly, and I felt him move.

  "Cold?" he wondered.

  "I'm fine."

  I wanted to take back the words when he pulled away from me, wanting to claim to be cold so I could take the excuse and stay curled in his arms. But we'd been gone for a while, at least. We had to go back sometime. I didn’t want to, and for a second I was tempted to tell him that we could just leave. It wouldn’t be fair, though; using him just so I could leave, when it would get us both into a lot of trouble.

  I saw him take off the condom, tie it up and toss it somewhere. He was reaching for his pants, and for a second, I thought that was it. I worried about him not saying anything, but I trusted him. More than I'd ever trusted anybody.

  Then I remembered there was one more thing I forgot to say. Something important. I reached for his shoulder, and he paused, turning back to me. I sat up, holding my legs together and wrapping my arms around my chest to cover my breasts.

  "There's something I have to tell you." I sounded nervous, and he could probably hear it.

  "What?"

  "It's… about your dad."

  There was a sort silence, then a surprised, "You know?"

  I blinked at him, equally surprised. "Wait, you know? How did you find out?"

  He shook his head, demanded, "Tell me how you know first."

  "Um, that night, when I went to see Angelo. One of his guys came to tell him there was an accident. He said something about everything falling through. I wasn’t really sure, but I thought they were talking about you."

  I couldn’t see his face, but I did hear his low curse.

  "He'd been dead long before that. Or at least dying. Apparently, they left him to recuperate after a few long hours of torture, left him passed out on the floor. Later, they were surprised to find him dead."

  He sounded angry. But then he sighed and shook his head, getting up and holding a hand out to me. I dropped my arms from my chest and gave him one hand. I was surprised when he pulled on my hand instead of continuing to get dressed.

  "Where are we going?" I asked.

  "Bathroom. Might as well shower while we're here."

  "Everything is still connected?"

  "Yeah. I've only been here a few times since my dad was taken, but everything should be working fine," he explained.

  It was still awkward when he pulled us into the hall, naked. There wasn’t anyone else, and the place was dark, but it still felt weird. Even without the light on, he knew just where to go. He opened a door and finally turned on a light, and I blinked at the sudden brightness. When my eyesight came back into focus, I noticed Alex staring.

  I could feel a flush creep up my neck and into my cheeks, and I pulled my hand away from him to cross my arms over my chest.

  He smirked at me, looking amused. "You're not shy, are you? After what we just did?"

  I scowled up at him, trying to let my arms drop and appear like I didn’t care. He just laughed at me and I pouted. He surprised me with a quick peck on my lips, then he was tugging me into the bathroom.

  It wasn’t anything big; but there was the toilet and a separate tub and shower. He turned on the shower, holding his hand under the spray, waiting until it was warm before pulling me with him so we were under it. My hair soaked it up almost instantly, flattening against my back. Then Alex moved in front of me so his body blocked some of the spray. I wiped water from my eyes so I could see him, going still at the look in his eyes.

  He crowded into my space, keeping our eyes locked as he reached for something behind me. Already I was breathing heavier, waiting for something. He brought his hands up between us, distracting me. I looked, to see him rubbing soap between his palms. He put it aside and reached for me, turning me around so my back was to his chest.

  He washed my body, everywhere, from my neck down. Not to be outdone, I reached for the soap, having to work my body around his hands. When his fingers lightly scraped over my ribs, I giggled at the ticklish feeling it elicited. He didn’t stop me when I turned and put my soapy hands all over his body.

  It was so fucking erotic, and definitely hot. But there was no urgency; no expectation that it would end in more sex. Not that we could do it again, because I didn’t think there were more condoms. But I wanted to.

  I couldn’t reach around him to soap his whole back, and rising to my tiptoes to reach his shoulders meant I got sprayed in the face in the position we were in. By his laughing eyes, I didn’t think he would move for my convenience, so I mostly washed what I could reach; his midsection, down to his upper thighs. I dislodged his hands, taking the soap with me as I crouched down so I could work all the way to his feet. When I rose back up, he surprised me by going down to his knees in front of me.

  I watched him, mesmerized, as he nuzzled his cheek against my stomach, getting soap on himself. Then I reached for the soap, working up a lather between my hands and working on his shoulders, his back, then letting it wash away with the water.

  We washed our hair and faces last. There wasn’t any shampoo, so I just used the soap on my hair, handing it over to him when I was done with it. He stepped aside so I could rinse it out, then I did the same for him. Then he was turning off the water and pulling me from the shower, grabbing a towel that hung on a bar attached to the wall above the tub and wiping my body down. He patted lightly over himself before tying his own towel around his hips.

  Back in the bedroom, he turned on the light so we could dress quickly. I could feel the peace that had held me in the moment winding down.

>   "What happens now?" I asked.

  He finished pulling his T-shirt over his head before turning to look at me, his face serious.

  "Right now we have to get back at the hotel. If anyone checks up on us and finds out we're not there, quite a few people will be pissed."

  "What will we do if Angelo asks?"

  "We got hungry and went out to eat."

  "There's a hotel in the restaurant," I reminded him.

  "So?" he shrugged. "I wasn’t brought up on hotel food. I took you to some café somewhere for some greasy food. You, being the lady you are, had some salad and a fruit bowl."

  I smiled, even as my chest ached with worry. "Did I have a cup of yogurt with that meal?"

  "Do you like it?"

  "I usually have some with a meal when I can get away with it. Eating a salad and fruit bowl, I'm sure I could."

  "Then you had yogurt."

  Finished dressing, he stood in front of me, held me by the shoulders and held my eyes. When he didn’t speak, I could feel my face begin to crumple, tears threatening.

  "I don’t want to go back," I murmured.

  He pulled me into his arms and I went gladly, clutching at his back as I struggled to hold back the tears.

  "I know you don’t. I don’t either, but we should. It would be bad if we made him start suspecting us now. And we can't do this again. This is how people die, you know? By letting themselves get distracted in a dangerous situation."

  "I liked getting distracted."

  "So did I." His arms held me a little tighter. "But we have to get real now and face the facts."

  I pulled away from him, so I could see his face, and he let me.

  "My dad is dead, that means whatever bargain I had with Sputafuoco Senior, is over. Even though Junior, for some reason, thought he needed to get himself involved in it."

  "But you can't not do what they say, they could kill you—" I said.

  His hand on my mouth covered my panicked spiel.

  "I know that, but I'm not being careless. I have a plan," Alex comforted me.

  I pulled his hand from my mouth so I could speak. "What plan?"

  "The FBI is willing to help us. The details are not so clear cut, there needs to be a few negotiations—more for me than you, really, but I'm being cautious, you see—"

  "Wait, Alex, you talked to the FBI? I did, too," I interrupted.

  He looked surprised, then he frowned. "That bastard didn’t tell me anyone approached you."

  "I, ah," I felt my face flush. "I was leaving, actually, when I realized something, and got scared."

  "That we'd both be in hot shit if we stuck around?" he guessed.

  "Yeah, something like that," I agreed.

  "Don’t worry about it. The guy I talked to is someone I know. My dad was on trial a while back, but he was released. This guy, he kept an eye on me when my dad was away. Occasionally he checked in, so I know I can trust him. I already told him, information in exchange for protection. We'll work through the plan, but I'm going to tell him it's my way, or we're out on our own," he said.

  "Isn’t that dangerous?" I asked.

  "It is. It just means I have to get evidence against the Sputafuocos some other way, so even after we're gone Angelo won't have long to chase after us," Alex replied.

  He held my face in his hands again, meeting and holding my eyes. "We might not stay together after this," he continued.

  "I don’t want to leave you,” I answered.

  He smiled, but it wasn’t happy. "Nice as that is, life doesn’t work like that. It's not up to us. But starting over will be the best thing for both of us. My dad's dead, so it's not like I have anything keeping me here. What about you?"

  I shrugged. He already knew I didn’t have anyone, not even Zoe, the one person I had trusted. "Chicago is a nice city, but I won't be sad to see the back of it."

  He smiled wider, before wiping it off his face and he was serious again.

  "I'm going to do my best to protect you. I can't promise how things will work out, and I'm not going to. But if we can start over with a normal life, even if it's apart, we need to take the chance. Are you okay with that?"

  I didn’t want to. I knew he wanted me to say yes, but I wanted to rail against it. If this was what love was like, I didn’t want to let it go. The thought of losing him didn’t sit well with me; didn’t he feel the same way?

  But, he was right that starting over would be the best thing for the both of us. It would hurt, but at least we'd have a chance.

  So, I nodded, even though everything in me wanted me to refuse. By the pained smile he gave me, I was sure he saw it in my face and felt at least close to the same.

  "Good."

  He kissed my cheek, and it reminded me of when Angelo did it. Only, I didn’t hate it as much coming from Alex. I wanted to hold him there; hold onto him and never let go. Instead, I held onto his hand tightly, as he led us outside; and back to the lion's den.

  Chapter 13

  Alex

  I checked my watch for maybe the tenth time since sitting down.

  Where is he?

  It was entirely possible that Belt hadn't gotten my message to meet, but if he didn’t show, I was going to walk. I was lucky, with Angelo still negotiating—it was taking way longer than he'd initially told me—I was allowed outside. That didn’t mean I wasn’t being watched, but I was good at spotting his guys, and considering what my hobbies were, I'd gotten good at disappearing into a crowd.

  I was waiting in a café, seated away from the door and any windows, but situated so I could see people walking in, walking by on the streets. A waitress had been by three times already, and all I'd ordered so far was juice. I probably looked suspicious, a big man, looking outside, dressed in a trench coat and a hat. I even had sun glasses on. But I was paying upfront for the orders and there were plenty of seats, so no one was sending me away quite yet.

  But where the hell was he? I had been there maybe twenty minutes, and I had been late for the time I said I'd be here.

  Because I was too cautious to contact him directly, I'd called the towing company that took my car, and got in touch with Belt's guy—the one who he had fix my car last time—through them. I left him a message, and I'd been discreet about it. Maybe I had been too discreet, or Belt was getting old and forgetful.

  I was done with my third glass of juice and was playing with the glass in my hands. I could see the same waitress eyeing my table and hesitating. If Belt didn’t show up, I was gonna order a meal, eat and leave. He wanted my help, I needed his help; but that didn’t mean I was willing to wait forever for him to show up any time I wanted to talk to him. I could just as easily go on my own, like I was used to. It would take a bit more work, but I was used to that, too.

  The waitress was heading my way again. At almost the same time she decided to come by, Belt walked through the door. I raised a hand as he glanced casually around the room, then he walked in my direction. The waitress, seeing the action, hesitated then looked toward the door. When she saw him heading this way, she looked a little worried.

  It was obvious why, with Belt dressed much like I was; jeans, shirt, trench coat, glasses and hat. Let alone that pretty much everyone had some combination of the same because it was suddenly windy outside. Maybe it was because we were two big guys meeting up for lunch. Was she suspicious because she was smart, or was she stereotyping?

  A smile stretched on my mouth without my permission. Hoping to relieve some of her unease, I pulled off the hat and glasses, standing up to receive Belt, who did the same, stuffing his sunglasses into his coat pocket but keeping the hat in his left hand.

  "Kid," he nodded, holding his right hand out to me.

  "Old man," I mocked back, shaking his hand.

  I gestured him to his seat as I took my own. I turned to the waitress and she was startled at suddenly having my attention on her. I waited to see what she would do. After some hesitation, she approached the table, slowly. We both gave our orders. It w
as too late for breakfast, so even though it was still early for lunch, we both ordered from that menu. She left with my empty glass.

  "So, how've you been, kid?" Belt asked me.

  I arched an eyebrow. "You saw me last less than a week ago."

  "Yeah, but you got yourself into an accident then."

  "I just love how you word that, like I wanted to smash my car on purpose or something," I muttered, slightly resentful; even though I did decide to crash it, since it wasn’t like I could have run over people walking in the street. Then I sighed. "I'm fine, though."

  Better than fine. After how I left things with Destiny, I almost felt at peace for the first time in a long while. There wasn’t much repercussion from the accident, thankfully, and I was going to be grateful and not look too deeply into it.

  All my focus was pointed toward a new goal.

  The waitress made her way back with the food and set it down on the table in front of us. I hadn't asked, but she came with the bill. I paid up, and just because she was being extra nice, I added a generous tip and a smile. She gave me a smile back, though it was a touch nervous, and walked away. I watched her for a moment, before turning back to Belt, my eyes serious.

  "I'm guessing you have news for me."

  I shrugged, picking up my fork and poking at the food on my plate, then taking a bite. "Not so much news, just confirmation."

  He arched his eyebrows. "So…"

  I used eating my food as an excuse to lean across the table, bracing my elbows in it and giving a glance around the room as I did so, and Belt did the same. I pitched my voice low. "We're both fully on board and ready to cooperate. But," I looked up, meeting his eyes, letting him see just how serious I was. "Things need to be done my way. Destiny will work with me—by extension, with you—and she will do what she needs to. But Angelo has eyes and ears everywhere." I narrowed my eyes. "I will not risk my life or—especially—Destiny's just for this. So long as that is clear, we won't have any problems."