Dinner Party

by Michael Brent Jones

  Chapter 8

  Hearing the sneeze, I stood up and walked around to see Jenny with the biggest puppy dog eyes. I tried not to look surprised, I smiled and I crouched down with my arms out. Her eyes welled up as she ran toward me. I picked her off the ground and held her. It was a minute or so until her frantic breathing calmed.

  “I love you Jenny, I’m not mad at all; really I’m not.” She started to shake again as she tried not to cry harder.

  “I heard last time too,” She whimpered and I could feel my shirt wet with tears.

  “It’s okay, it’s all okay,” I reassured.

  “If you came, and you wanted to come back, then you’re always welcome.” Victor Hugo said which caught her off guard enough to start to calm her down.

  When she looked at him he asked her a question. “What’s the difference between a unicorn and a rhinosaurous?”

  Jenny stopped crying as she brushed away the tears to see better who was talking to her. “What?” She asked after thinking a few moments.

  “I didn’t actually have an answer, I figured you would, that’s why I asked.” Hugo said and we all laughed. Jenny didn’t laugh and just shook her head.

  “You want to hear something else silly? I promise the joke will have an answer this time.”

  “Say something like Jshell would,” Jenny said and looked him in the eyes challengingly.

  “Wow,” He was caught off guard, “well then. You really do belong here. I am good friends with Jshell and that’s a high bar to set, but I’ll give it my best try. How old are you by the way?” Hugo asked.

  “I’m eight and three quarters,” Jenny said stretching to look as tall as she could, so I set her down. For a few moments Jenny seeing me to her left and Victor Hugo to my left felt confident and quite a bit precocious. That was until she sat down back in my seat and for the first time really noticed the table full of adults, all of which she didn’t know.

  She suddenly looked down like little kids do when they want to hide. It was very interesting to see her turn from a very precocious little girl to very timid in seconds. All attention turned to Hugo and her attention as well turned to his full voice. Her timidity seemed to vanish as fast as it came.

  “Well, have a seat. Welcome to the dinner party!” Hugo exclaimed.

  I had given Jenny my chair so I grabbed the one from my writing desk. Hugo waited until we were seated and spoke eloquently.

  "To be Chateaubriand or nothing!" he said in a full voice and with diction, then paused as the room got very quiet. “Is what I often would say. All I can think now when I remember saying that is - despite all of our selfish and cowardice prostitutions, that eternal drop of divine light which was the beginning of us and is our ultimate destiny, can always shine through, and enlighten the world around us. That light is in every person no matter age or race; in fact, shines more the younger we are, before the world tries to cover it.”

  He looked at Jenny and smiled, then continued, “I found that every person I looked up to, I did so, because where I was standing, I could see through the cracks in the shell of insecurity to the light in that person.

  I had wondered before why other people esteemed others that seemed to me less worthy of esteem. Now I see that it was where they were standing, not necessarily more right or more wrong that made the difference.

  Esteem is not something we can really give any man, for we all have at our center that light which is what embodies everything estimable. We should look to others, and see from each the different pieces of our shell that they have shed to emanate better their light. No man has shed the whole shell and each has shed some portion, so let us all look to each man to see how every piece is undone.”

  I am very glad I remember what he said, because my mind was so fixed on two things; one was the language he used in his first thought, and two how unfazed and even how completely engaged Jenny was.

  Maybe it was my sense of the word prostitute that was distracting, because I think she understood; and there Chateaubriand was, and didn’t seem in the least bit offended. That seemed odd to me, he didn’t even react; I definitely didn’t have right to be offended for him. It didn’t seem it was even a matter of forgiving; as if forgiving is really just a backup plan for something higher; all I could guess is that higher thing is pure love.

  I learned that night something that was reaffirmed in later parties; that the direction I should head if I want to be more like them, is to really let the cares of this world, and clutter of excuses go let only the real motives and facts have enough weight to still exist at all.

  “I’m going to let my light shine!” Jenny proclaimed as I was pulled back into consciousness; realizing though my mind wandered, the conversation continued.

  “I really believe you will,” Hugo affirmed. “Ultimately there are only two choices in life; to let your light shine, or not.”

  “Why do people not?” Jenny asked seriously, with an air of audacity.

  “Anyone else want to answer? Not saying I’m scared, but I do feel the bar is set a little too high for me.” Hugo said cautiously leaning away from the table a little deeper into his chair.

  “Oh being on your toes is a good thing,” Mozart jested. “If you’re not out of your comfort zone most of the time, you’re doing something wrong,” he added and winked at me.

  “I think she’s just got it out for me,” Hugo said with a laugh.

  “You’re joke didn’t have an answer!” Jenny stated not so timidly.

  Everyone seemed to enjoy the change of pace, maybe at the expense of Hugo, but I could tell he really didn’t mind; I think he actually may have been playing into it quite a bit.

  “Do you answer all of the questions from your teacher in class?” Mozart asked, turning his attention to Jenny.

  “Not all of them,” Jenny replied.

  “Why not? Do you not know the answers sometimes?”

  “No…” Jenny answered hesitatingly.

  “Have you ever not answered when you knew, and no one else answered?”

  “Yes…” still with hesitation.

  “Why I say this, is no one really knows how we should all be getting along in society: what the rules should be, what’s supposed to happen if people break rules, or even who should make the rules.

  If you answer all of the questions in class you are a know-it-all. If you don’t answer any you’re a dunce or a rebel. It really is a no-win situation the way most classes are set up, but that’s a different topic. What I am saying is that whether you are a know-it-all, dunce or a rebel, you will probably be ready for the whole school situation to be over before you even come close to graduating.”

  “What am I supposed to do at school then?”

  “Well, the only thing you can do, just try to get the most out of it you can, and keep a good attitude. Also a sense of humor goes a long way, right Hugo?”

  “Oh of course, unless people hate your jokes,” he said sarcastically looking at Jenny but not turning his head toward her.

  “I didn’t hate it. It wasn’t a joke,” she said matter-of-factly.

  The standoff was so entertaining; a nine year old vs. a great Victorian writer.

  “It’s okay; we can still love him even though he can’t make a good joke,” Shakespeare said as he feigned a patronizing shrug.

  “Well yeah,” Jenny agreed.

  “Thanks Will,” Hugo said overly sarcastic.

  “You were saying that people just get tired of the school of life?” I said directing the conversation back.

  “Exactly, but class goes on. We don’t want to be there, but there’s not really another option. The only option, is to get something out of class, or not.”

  “What rules do you think we should live by?” Jenny asked.

  “I would say love your creator, love you neighbor and love yourself. Though that is the law you should live by, I’ve been on ‘the other side’ for a while now, and just barely, I feel like I truly understa
nd love enough to really begin to make it a part of me.

  More of guidelines for how to get along in society I would say:

  Rule number one for success- Don't pretend you are smart enough, or anyone is simple enough to believe any one of your lies, I’ve never seen a man smart enough, and never seen anyone ever really fooled. People might not say anything. Some people might not care enough to give your lie any thought, but nothing can truly be gained by lying. We came into this life with only our faith and our integrity, and it would be sad to leave this life with tainted faith and less integrity.

  Rule number 2- Don't just take criticism but invite it. Any outside perspective is valuable in some way. Part of trying to see things from other’s shoes is seeing how they see you. Not to seek approval from everyone, but considering another’s perspective gives us insight to the fabric of the human soul, and could be just what we need to find the missing detail in our own lives. Also, invited, tactful or not, sometimes it takes the oversensitive nose of a busybody, to show us that something about ourselves smells, and we have become desensitized to it.

  Not all advice will be directly useful. There is what I call a linear progression of veridity - ask many people for advice, and you’ll see a trend of how much you trust a person, and the answer they give. Draw a line starting at what the person you trust least says, through all of the people you trust more. Either at or beyond what the person you trust most says, you will find your answer of what you should do.

  Rule 3- Stay busy; a bike that is not moving will fall over. Decide you are willing to work hard all of the time, and then start planning to fill your days with things that are important. Choose things that will eternally bring you and others happiness; and remember that sometimes the most important things, won’t be the ones you plan, but the ones you have to cancel plans for.

  Rule 4 - Don't get discouraged. You haven't died yet so all is not lost. No living person should give up... But then again once you leave this life you start on the next type of life, which you will also not want to give up on. You don't really leave behind your prior life, but use it as a stepping stone to jumpstart you for the next. Always try, because worst case scenario you die in the attempt and just move on to the next phase of existence with the habit of taking initiative, which will help you here or beyond. To add to that, most of the time when we give up, it wasn't a matter of life or death, or even mortal injury, just mortal awkwardness or mortal inconvenience.

  Okay, maybe there's more than I would have thought; Rule 5 - Try not to do anything you will probably regret later; maybe that seems a little obvious, but it can yield good results if applied diligently. Diligence is definitely the key for all of the rules.

  Last of all, it’s not a rule but, remember that we were designed to be happy; it was said that by the sweat of our brow we would eat bread, but a sweaty brow doesn’t mean you can’t still have a smile on your face, right?”

  “Agreed!” I said as I scrambled to write down enough to remember what was said. I started writing bits during the second dinner party, because though the whole party seemed so vivid in my mind, I still feel I forgot some important things. I mainly was just writing key words that would spark my memory the next day as I wrote it all out completely.

  “Do you have any questions you want to ask Jenny?” Hugo asked amiably.

  Jenny looked hesitant as if it were a trick, “Yes” she answered slowly.

  “What do you want to know?” Hugo asked.

  “What? You can answer any question?” Jenny questioned lifting her brow.

  “I didn’t mean it like that, but I haven’t been stumped in a while.”

  I think everyone but Hugo could feel the suspense building, as if they knew Jenny was going to say something good; everyone tried not to smile.

  “My question is: what was it like to be a Queen and a warrior?”

  Everyone started laughing and Hugo blushed.

  Rani spoke up, “I don’t want to step on your toes Victor, but being a woman… and warrior and all… well you know?”

  “No I don’t know actually, being a man and a writer and all… it’s okay though, I really do want to hear what you have to say,” Hugo said sheepishly.

  “Thanks, well, what exactly do you want to know about it Jenny?” Rani asked sweetly turning her attention to Jenny.

  “Wasn’t it hard when you just had to take over the kingdom when your husband passed away?”

  I forgot I hadn’t asked who she meant by Rani. I was too shocked she would bring up Ram Mohan Roy. She really must have done her research!

  Rani answered, “I probably would have thought it was hard, but I didn’t think about what it would be like at the time, because it already was.

  It didn’t really matter if it was going to be easy or it going to be hard, because it was already going. We only have two options in life: to bear whatever comes or give up at some point.

  It does no use wishing for things not to be the way they are. All we can do is rely on the hope that the means exist that we can deepen our faith and strengthen our integrity. When you have a baby you will wish that they could sleep happily all through the night, but until they do, you will have to get up and feed them, if you get what I mean.”

  “I think I do. So how did you learn to fight?” Jenny asked so engaged in the conversation, everyone else smiled at the tenderness of the situation.

  “I searched the kingdom, old and young for those who knew how to fight the best. I made them leaders and had them teach the soldiers and teach me. The whole kingdom was unified in readying ourselves for the attack.

  I spend hours upon hours each day practicing, it was very hard work. It is easy to be content with excuses; sometime we feel just as content with an excuse as the real thing. It seems that sadly ‘judge not that ye be not judged’ has become a crutch to not have to put weigh on our broken and infected leg, instead of curing the infection and setting the bone in place.

  We know when a sin seems sweet to us, that the bone is indeed broken and the infection has started. Everyone has their favorite sin or sins and instead of doing whatever it takes to remedy the condition, there is an unspoken pact to not talk about sin; as if merely not talking about it would make it the problem would go away.”

  “I guess if you believe the opposite: that just because you can talk about something makes it true; then logically not talking about something makes it not be true,” Shakespeare added jokingly.

  I think Jenny was too young to understand how funny Will’s comment was, but I definitely enjoyed it.

  “To wish means to strive after,” Rani continued, “I wished to learn how to be a warrior, and strived after it in every way I knew possible. Why is it that the idea of magic spells, and powerful genies who grant desires, are so enchanting to us?”

  “You don’t have to try,” Jenny answered.

  “Taking the striving out of wishing leaves us with pure fantasy – the ultimate self-deception of reality. Everyone has their own perception of reality, as we add striving into our perception; it comes nearer and nearer to reality.

  It requires one heck of a solid character, to not only not make excuses, but to commit to every good thing within reach; which you will find, every good thing is really within reach, by design.

  When I heard that the Mongols were coming to take us over, just making an effort would not have been enough; I read and consulted, prepared physically and prepared my army as well. It’s not a matter of working hard or working smart, you have to commit to work as hard and as smart as you can.

  You could say in the first battle, the Mongols worked smart, because they knew about warfare. This knowledge however made it easy for them to be lazy. We were stronger and swifter because we had worked hard to prepare. I don’t know what they had heard about us as far as our defense, but as I rode out there with myself and my elephant fully dressed in armor, I was confident that we were prepared, and that we would win, and we did.”

&
nbsp; “What happened after that?” Jenny asked completely engaged in Rani’s story.

  “Well, there were only so many of us and a lot more of them. Our city against a powerful nation… Unless they decided to leave us alone, it was a war we ultimately wouldn’t have been able to win.”

  “Was it worth it to fight then?” Jenny questioned worried.

  “My kingdom had the choice to learn one of two things, to fear the most powerful army, or love the all-powerful creator.

  We became something more as we fought; we fought for our future generations that might grow up in slavery, ignorantly worshiping the false gods of tyrants, or grow up in freedom and love, learning to build upon the moral foundation of their courageous fathers and mothers. Right and wrong are not dictated by the sharpest sword or wittiest tongue; it exists apart from anything else. What a great feeling to die knowing that you didn’t yield to pressure or temptation, tyrants or scorn; Fighting the good fight and dying with a clear conscience.” The room erupted in applause.

  “You’re my hero!” Jenny squealed.

  “Thanks” Rani said smiling.

  “Don’t get the idea that I’m going to let you ride the elephants at the zoo,” I said pointing at Jenny with my eyebrows raised.

  “Well if the Mongols come I don’t know if we’ll have a choice,” Jenny defended.

  Laughing I conceded, “Okay, well if the Mongols invade I’ll let you.”

  The guests were still laughing as Rani started to take off her necklace and bracelets. The room quickly quieted down,

  “If that happens, you might need these.”

  Rani walked over and adorned her new friend with her jewelry, complete with a silk scarf. Jenny was speechless, tears welled up in her eyes. There was not a dry eye in the room.

  It made me so happy to see her happy, but then I realized my son and daughter-in-law might ask where she got them. I came to the conclusion that Jenny was a smart girl, and if I and her parents didn’t know she had listened to the last dinner party, then I was probably safe with her going home with Indian jewelry half a millennium old.

  “I don’t want to interrupt the party, but I think Jenny and I are going to try out the rest of the outfit.”

  Jenny jumped up with excitement, and Rani picked up her handbag and they both went up to Jenny’s room.

  “Well, now that the girls are gone we can talk about some manly stuff,” I said and we all laughed.

  As soon as the girls had made it upstairs, it was Beethoven who spoke next. “Well actually Mr. Parker, there is something I have wanted to say, but preferred not to say in front of Jenny; not because it is vulgar, but important for just you.

  I cannot, nor do I, even know completely why you were chosen for this task, but there is one thing I do know that I can tell you; we were all invited here because we figured out one or two things about life, and put them into practice in our time in mortality. Most of us have big black marks in our mortal history. Our marks don’t matter to us now, but how they got there is still important.  Looking back at my life there were some really good moments. I’m not necessarily wishing I could do it over, but thinking about it, I was so silly, and selfish… prideful, ignorant and just out right mean a lot of the time.”

  “And dang good at the piano; don’t forget that!” Mozart interjected light-heartedly.

  “Not even if I had been better than Mozart would it have outweighed the negative qualities I had, not that everything we’ve done goes on a scale anyway. Who would we pay the difference to if there were some sort of balance?” Mozart said and he shrugged his shoulders.

  Continuing, “no, our good and our bad will not be totaled up, like Will said, you have the choice to give all of your sins away, no matter how many there are, or keep them.

  Anyway, back to what I was saying; I didn’t even value the piano for my ability to express myself, or even just for pure enjoyment of the music. I enjoyed it because I was better at it than most everyone else.

  I'm not saying this for any reason other than, that in the world’s eyes, one heroic deed, or even just one thing newsworthy will lift you into the hall of fame. If it only were only that easy for us to think highly of ourselves permanently after just one act!

  There are no free passes to heaven; you have to build heaven around you... and in you. Heaven is not built in taking a bullet for someone; it is built as we take every day for every person.

  It is one thing to die for someone you love, it is another better thing, to live for someone you love. But the greatest is to live... to love.

  Reproach is not so joyful for someone who has changed, and pains to see their past offenses come back to them, but it is also bad for those, for whom it is hard to follow the good example in a person without adopting the bad parts.”

  “I was that bad example,” Mozart cut in shrugging his shoulders.

  “Mozart really was no excuse for me, but it was easier for me to know that no matter what Mozart did, that people still looked up to him because of his musical talent.

  A reproachable example shuns some away and wrongly encourages others. I hope I didn’t shun many from the piano because of my example, and also hope I was not an excuse for bad behavior for very many.

  Why I say this, is because I could not have written this book; deep down I knew, or more so I felt, most of the principles taught at these dinner parties, but I did little or nothing to discover them out for myself, or to make them part of me.

  Mr. Parker, you have,” he said and paused.

  “The most important thing is love, and out of all of the forms of love, marriage between a man and a woman should be the strongest and second to it, love for your children, then your neighbors. Speaking for myself, I epically failed with all of those.”

  “Myself as well,” Mozart cut in again.

  “Mr. Lewis Parker, you are my hero,” Beethoven said, and my eyes instantly welled up.

  Beethoven’s words filled the parts of my soul I didn’t think anyone could see. I really have tried, and it was very hard sometimes, because until I met Ann, I felt like no one appreciated the effort I put in.

  Tears started streaming down my face. I felt appreciated by my sons and granddaughter, but outside of my family, it seemed like no one else cared or valued me for the person I tried to be. I came to the slightly bitter conclusion that I was committed to be the best person I could be for my family, and even if for no other reasons than that, it was enough for me.

  “Parker, you are appreciated. You have fought the good fight. You have lived your life in a way that as you write this; there will be no one that will be able to discard your writing because of any reproach.

  “If I may add” Marcus spoke up. “Mr. Parker,” he paused, “you are the beginning of what the world was made for; not that it hasn’t been serving its purpose the whole time, but the goal was that we could really start to figure a lot of things out while still on earth.

  It is not enough to excel in one area of our lives, but to continually temper our character into something that is stronger every day, in every area, even if just by a little at a time.

  To some it may seem that the world is getting worse and worse, but what is really happening, is that knowledge and understanding are increasing, which deepens and widens the gulf between those who propagate good, and those that the world uses to propagate sadness.

  I hope that you are a shadow of what is to come; that more and more people become in every sense of the word ‘good’ while still here on earth. We are here, not to teach you things that you didn't know, but to help you understand what you merely believed on faith.

  A good man can do a good thing that he fully understands is good, but a great man can do everything he hopes will in some way do good. We were all in some way or another 'good' men and women, but what we as people should be progressing toward, is to be great… and always greater.

  You were called for this task because you are a great man and you cannot be disc
redited. This book could only be written by someone who is not only above reproach, but is on a higher ground himself as to pull others up.”

  By this time the collar on the front of my shirt was soaked with tears. It was at that moment that I really realized that not only was I noticed, but that I had been watched over.

  It wasn’t really anything either one of them said, but I suddenly realized that these dinner parties weren’t a last minute idea, I had been prepared, and they had all played different roles in my preparation.

  I started reflecting on when and who might have done what, but then I realized that then was not the time, so I made myself a note to think about it later. That thought was enough to distract me and stifle the tears; I pulled myself together and then asked, “How long have I had this commission?”

  “A long time ago you volunteered... more or less,” Marcus said with a chuckle.

  “What do mean? And why more or less?” I asked also curious on why it was funny, not that I was offended.

  “You kind of volunteered for everything… and anything,” Marcus replied.

  I must have given him a puzzled look because he expounded. “Well let’s just say that every time any of us questioned something that was happing, Big Chief would say, ‘he said he would do it.’

  After quite a few times questioning, I asked if you had volunteered to pass any suffering to single handedly save the world. He laughed and said, ‘He might have said something along those lines.’ Mr. Parker the world will take a lot of people and a lot of time to save, but I will tell you that He is proud of you.”

  I’ve never considered myself an overly emotional person, but the flood gates opened and since what he said was also humorous, I’m not sure if any of them could tell whether I was crying or laughing. I must have looked hysterical with my chest heaving and all. They all started laughing which helped me slowly pull myself together. I dried off the tears with my napkin and then noticed everyone was looking at the stairs smiling. I turned and saw Jenny and Rani. Jenny was all dressed up like the most beautiful and majestic Indian princess.

  “Wow! You’re so beautiful,” I complimented.

  “Thank you, Rani is the best!” Jenny said then turning to Rani.

  “Thank you,” and Jenny said and hugged her.

  They both walked over to the table to sit down, Jenny paused before she sat as she looked at me. “Are you okay Grandpa? It looks like you’ve been crying.”

  “Apparently your Grandpa talked a big talk a long time ago,” I admitted.

  “Why don’t you remember?” she asked.

  “It was a really long time ago, but thinking about it, it does ring a bell,” I told her.

  We talked a little longer and then said our goodbyes. Jenny didn’t want to sleep; she was dancing all around the house in her best Indian dancing interpretation. I did finally convince her that if she fell asleep in her princess clothes it would wrinkle them. That got her to get into her pajamas, and I tucked her into bed.