by Tina Susedik
A feeling so strong it nearly took his breath away gripped him. He wanted some of those. One of each. Or maybe two boys. Two girls would be nice. Even just one would be great. Hogan glanced up at the ceiling, visualizing Cassie giving Billy his bath.
“But first I need a wife.”
A few minutes later Emily and Jazmine entered the living room, high on their toes, crouched over like they were stalking a wild animal. Emily had several articles of clothing wrapped in her arms, while Jazmine left a trail of socks, underpants, and a shirt behind her.
“Okay, girls, let’s get this done fast before your aunt comes down.” Seeing that Emily could handle dressing herself, he helped Jasmine. “Now that you’re all set, you watch cartoons, then we can go to the zoo when Cassie is ready.”
Emily pouted. “But she’ll want to clean up the kitchen before we go.”
Hogan studied the two little girls for a moment. “This is what I’ll do. You guys watch television and I’ll fix the kitchen. How does that sound?”
Emily stood ramrod straight and gave Hogan a salute. “Okay, sir,” she voice sharp in military style. In a lesser mode, Jazmine followed suit.
“Where did you learn that?” Hogan asked, surprised a five-year-old would do something so sarcastic.
“Mommy does that to Daddy when he tells her to do something,” Emily replied.
“Den she kisses him,” Jazmine added.
“Well, by all means, plant one on me,” Hogan joked, kneeling, then presenting a cheek to each girl.
Once they had given him a kiss and settled on the couch, he went to the kitchen.
After putting plates and bowls in the dishwasher, he took one last swipe of the rag on the counter, draped it over the sink divider, and turned to leave the room.
“Dammit, Hogan!”
Hogan grabbed his chest and leaned back against the counter. “Dammit it yourself, Cassie Jordan. What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?”
“Well, quit pitching in with the kids. They’re my responsibility.”
“I was only trying to help. After all, it’s my fault you’re not ready yet. I wanted to give you time to yourself.”
Cassie sighed. “I’m sorry for sniping at you. It’s just that I’m not used to people helping me.”
Damn. Now he’d embarrassed her. Before she said anything more, he took Billy. With his forefinger, he lifted her chin so she would look him in the eyes.
“Hey, I didn’t mean you need extra time to improve yourself. I just meant after yesterday you might want some time to yourself.” Hogan tapped Cassie on her nose. “You’re cute just the way you are. Socks and all.” He took her by the shoulder, turned her around, and pushed her toward the stairs. “You take your time and the four of us will relax on the couch.”
Before heading up the stairs, Cassie turned and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Hogan.” Then she raced up the steps, leaving Hogan rubbing his cheek where he swore he’d have a burn mark tomorrow.
Hogan itched to search the antique secretary for any evidence that Cassie was involved. But with the kids in the room, it was impossible. Even if he could, they’d probably tell Cassie he was snooping. Instead, he tried to keep his attention on a spaceship kids’ show.
At the sound of Cassie’s steps into the room, Hogan glanced up from the television and met her eyes. After a few seconds, he reminded himself to breathe. Her bright eyes seemed to bore into his soul. He rose and set Billy in the playpen.
Her beauty was in her simplicity. Jeans, T-shirt under a flannel shirt, tennis shoes, and just enough makeup to enhance her eyes.
“You went upstairs cute, and came down looking . . .” He stood before her. His Adam’s apple bobbed several times. “You look . . . You look . . .” He placed his hands on either side of her face and pressed his lips to hers.
“I’ll take that to mean I look all right,” Cassie murmured against his mouth.
His kiss turned into a smile.
“You certainly can take it that way.”
Cassie hoped he would explore their kiss more deeply, but someone tugged on her jeans. Instead of pushing away the offending hand and melting into Hogan like she wanted, Cassie glanced down at the munchkin so rudely interrupting them.
“Are you going to have babies now?” Jazmine asked, her blue eyes serious. “Emily says kissing makes babies.”
Cassie closed her eyes. How and why did couples ever manage to have more than one child? Either they were keeping you up all night and making you too tired to even yawn, or they interrupted you just when things started getting interesting. She stooped down and picked up Jazmine.
“Sorry, bug, no babies. A mommy and daddy have to be married before they have babies.”
“You and Mr. Hogan can get married,” Emily joined in.
Cassie wanted to crawl under the couch and never come out. Looking at Hogan was out of the question. Either he would be laughing at the absurdity of the idea or he would be ready to dash out the door. The only way to get out of the embarrassing situation was to pretend it never happened.
“Well, we’d better get going or the monkeys will be taking their naps by the time we get there.” Cassie clapped her hands to make her point. “Chop, chop. Let’s go. C’mon, grab your jackets, get your things, and let’s head for the zoo.”
With Hogan’s help, she spent the next few minutes zipping, tying, and urging everyone out the door. As she passed him holding a squirming Billy, she chanced a peek. Hogan winked.
“Nice way to change the subject,” he whispered. “I think making babies with you would be fun.”
Cassie blushed and scurried past him, resisting the urge to fan her hot face. At this rate, she’d have to run upstairs and apply more deodorant. It was going to be a long, steamy day.
The monkey house was indeed a place of great enjoyment, warm enough for the monkeys to be in their large outside play area. The children giggled and squealed at the monkeys swinging from branch to branch, babies hanging onto their mothers’ backs. Monkeys grooming one another grossed out Emily, and a fight broke out when Jazmine decided Emily had fleas needing to be removed.
Cassie was impressed with the quiet, yet firm, way Hogan settled the fight and peace reigned once again. He joined her on a bench set a few feet behind the fenced-in enclosure, leaving the girls standing at the fence, staring at the antics of the chimpanzees. Billy sat in his stroller between the girls, his babbling sounding like the primates.
“I am so glad you found those strollers for the kids. I hate the thought of using the zoo’s. They’re rather dirty,” she told him, pushing Jazmine’s stroller between them. “Where on earth did you get them on such short notice?”
Hogan unscrewed a bottle of water. “I borrowed them from my sister. I picked them up on the way to your place.” He put the bottle to his lips, tipped his head back, and took several large swallows.
Cassie watched Hogan’s Adam’s apple bob, his lips sucking the water into his mouth. Oh, to be that bottle of water. Her nipples ached at the thought of those lips latched on them. Her heart jackhammered and her toes curled. Dizziness settled in from lack of oxygen. Breathe, girl, breathe. Slow, steady breaths. Now she understood what the heroines in her books meant about swooning.
“Do I have water dripping on my chin or something?” Hogan asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“Excuse me? What did you say?”
“You’re staring at me. Are you all right?” Hogan wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and chin. “Is everything gone now?”
Cassie took in his strong chin and sensuous full lips. Not everything was gone. Tingles continued raging through her body. Cassie stopped herself. This daydreaming and becoming excited about Hogan was getting out of hand. She had to control herself. There were children present, eve
n if those children were engrossed with the monkeys.
“I’m fine, and your face is perfectly clean, except for a speck here.” Cassie couldn’t resist reaching over and touching the corner of his mouth with her finger to remove a non-existent smudge. “There, all gone.”
Hogan took her hand, brought her palm to his lips, then pressed a kiss to her sensitive skin. “Thanks. I’d hate to think I was walking around with a dirty face like Billy.”
Time stood still as she looked over their hands into his eyes. He sighed. Anyway, she thought he sighed. The drumming of her heart was loud enough, she wasn’t sure if she’d really heard him. It sounded more like a hiccough. But why would he hiccough? For that matter, why would he be sighing? She was the one who should be sighing, but then she’d have to be breathing to do that, and she knew for sure her breathing had stopped.
Coming to her senses was the wisest thing to do. Attacking Hogan in the middle of the zoo would likely land her in the monkey cages. Monkeys. The zoo. The kids. Responsibilities. Hungry. Yes, she was hungry. For food? Yes, for food. Not this gorgeous man before her. Food. Voices, sounds, and smells finally registered.
“The children,” she whispered, still not ready to be drawn from his magic spell. She slipped her hand from Hogan’s grasp. “They must be hungry.” She jumped up and headed to the monkey compound.
“You know that’s the second time today you’ve done that,” Hogan called after her.
Cassie faced him and frowned. “Done what?”
“Run from your feelings. It’s not healthy.”
Sounds good to me. Ignoring Hogan and his comment, Cassie walked to the children. One date didn’t make running away from her feelings his business.
“We’re hungry, Auntie Susie.” Emily face was still pressed against the chain fencing.
Jazmine grinned up at Cassie, chain marks imbedded in her skin. “Yeah, hungry. The monkeys are eating. Can we eat?”
So that’s where the hunger feeling had come from, food, not passion. The kids must have been asking for food when Hogan was busy drawing her into his spell. When Billy cried ‘nana, ‘nana, she knew the feeling was unanimous.
“Time for lunch,” she announced.
Hogan stood with a grace reminding Cassie of the sleek panthers they’d seen earlier. The gleam of interest in his eyes make her legs feel like a slinky falling down a flight of stairs.
“Yeah, I’m hungry,” he replied in a husky voice. A second later, he added, so quietly Cassie wasn’t sure she’d heard him, “Too bad she means food, you fool.”
Emily stood between the two strollers, grasping a handle of each one, her eyes moving back and forth between them. “Aren’t you hungry? I’m hungry.” Emily’s voice became high pitched. “Can we please eat?”
Cassie gave Emily an absent-minded smile. “We’ll get something to eat right now.” All right, Cassie Jordan. That’s quite enough. Quit thinking about him. It’s a beautiful day to be at the zoo. There are lots of things going on to keep you distracted from him. Should be easy. Yeah, right. About as easy as hauling a semi down the street with my teeth. Especially when he’s right beside you strutting his stuff. Just look at him . . .
She snapped her mind back to the present. Hogan pushed Billy’s stroller, but his eyes were on her. A frown creased his brow.
Just look at her. How am I ever going to get through the day with her beside me? She has no idea what she’s doing to me. I want to see how far we can carry whatever was happening between us. Stop right now! Get her out of your mind, or you’ll have to wrap your jacket around your waist to keep from embarrassing yourself. Besides, you’re supposed to be watching for her ex.
“Do you want a hot dog, Hogan?” Cassie asked, interrupting his thoughts.
Hogan wondered how her voice could sound so sultry simply by asking if he wanted a hot dog.
“Uh, hot dog? Sure.” He dug into his back pocket for his wallet and headed to the food stand.
Cassie smiled “Hogan? Do you even know what you’re ordering?”
Hogan turned to four expectant faces. He was warm enough to cook the damn hot dogs himself. Man, he needed to get a grip. “I’m sorry. My mind was in outer space somewhere. Now, what does everyone want? Treats are on me.”
A short time later, Jazmine and Billy slept in their strollers. After carrying an exhausted Emily and pushing Jazmine’s stroller, Hogan finally found a shady place to rest. Cassie spread their jackets out on the grass for Emily to lie on.
Hogan leaned against one of the strollers, his arms crossed on his bent knees. Even while looking relaxed, he had an alert way about him. Cassie lay on her side next to Emily, her head resting in the crook of her arm, taking in his peaceful face. As her eyes drooped, she thought she sensed Hogan’s stare.
“You feel it. Don’t you?” he said, his voice quiet. He didn’t glance her way.
“Feel what?”
“This . . . This thing between us.”
How was she supposed to respond to that? What if he wasn’t talking about the intense sexual desire she’d experienced since meeting him? What if he meant the kids? She didn’t want to seem like a fool mentioning the attraction burgeoning between them. She shrugged and wished he’d turn to her instead of staring at the passing crowd as if he was searching for someone.
“You can’t tell me you aren’t aware of the attraction going on here. I’ve never had anything quite like this happen before.” He reached over, took her hand, and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. “Tell me you feel it.”
Shudders coursed through her body at his contact. Cassie now figured what electrocution might be like, currents zinging and zapping their way through her body. “Yes,” she whispered.
“What do we do about it?” He intertwined his fingers with hers but still didn’t look at her.
“What do you mean, what do we do about it?” Cassie couldn’t think while he touched her and slipped her hand from his. “Why do we need to do anything?”
Hogan raked his fingers through his hair. “Cassie, I know it’s only been two nights, but I haven’t slept decently since meeting you. You’re all I think about. I have feelings racing through me that I’ve never had before. I believe you’re having the same reaction. And you think what . . .? That we should ignore this?”
“But, Hogan, that’s part of the problem. We only met two nights ago. We’ve spent all of eight hours together. Yes, I’m attracted to you in a big way, but I won’t rush things. One mistake was enough.”
Hogan stretched out his legs and leaned back on his hands. “What do you mean?”
Why did she have to blurt that out? She sat up, drew her legs to her chest, and rested her chin on her knees. “Nothing. I just don’t want to rush things. People don’t fall in love in two days.”
Could she now just bury her head in the sand like the ostriches? How could she have mentioned something like love? Was it possible to kick oneself while having both feet in your mouth and your head in the sand? She stood and went to Billy’s stroller.
“Who said anything about love, Cassie?” he whispered. She didn’t answer. “Cassie, look at me.”
His pants rustled. Oh, lord, he was going to leave. Panic rushed through her, threatening to close off her lungs. The warmth of his hand on her arm reassured her.
“Who said anything about love, Cassie?” he whispered.
Her heart dropped. Mortification rendered her speechless.
“Cassie . . .”
“Mama. Mama,” Billy whimpered.
Relief rushed through her. Saved by the kids again. Cassie lifted her nephew from the stroller, using him as a buffer against Hogan and her emotions.
At the same time, Emily and Jazmine started squirming and whimpering like puppies rooting for their mother. All three wanted after-nap cuddles, then the gi
rls needed bathroom breaks. She and Hogan didn’t have a chance to pursue their conversation, and for that Cassie was grateful. Mentioning the “L” word to a man was tantamount to dating suicide, especially to one you hadn’t even had a real date with yet.
The rest of the day, Hogan tried to ignore the tension in the air. He wanted nothing more than to pursue their conversation and her comment about ‘falling in love.’ Throughout the afternoon, as they pushed the strollers from the elephants to the hippos, then to the other side of the zoo and the reptile house, he tried valiantly to get her to laugh or at least smile. She wouldn’t even meet his eyes. He desperately wanted to let her know he wasn’t put off by her comment, that he understood her embarrassment.
A few hours after lunch Hogan despaired of seeing Angelino. He was getting a headache from keeping an eye out for him and helping Cassie with the kids. They finally stopped for a much-needed rest and ice-cream cones. He watched Cassie alternately lap her tongue around the cool cream and then let Billy do the same. Once more it was becoming difficult to keep his mind on his surroundings and not go off into another fantasy world where his tongue was doing marvelous things to her breasts, lapping around the edges, taking her nipple in his mouth and licking it like she was now licking the top off the ice cream, making a point for a giggling Billy to lick off.
Then he saw the man walking with a woman dressed like a streetwalker. His arm was slung around her bare shoulders.
Hogan’s breath hitched in his throat. Damn. It was him, Tony Angelino, the man he was supposed to be watching for, instead of spending his time mooning over Cassie.
“Auntie Susie. Isn’t that Uncle Tony?” Emily asked, pointing in the direction of Angelino.
Hogan drew his eyes from the man to Cassie. Lips tight, eyes mere slits, she stared at the couple.
“Who are you pointing to?” he asked Emily, needing to make sure they were talking about the same man.
