A Time To Pay

by David Woods

  “I’m managing, but what do you want?”

  “I’d like to see Sylvia again.”

  “Good God, what for? I’m sure she doesn’t want to see you.”

  “Will you give me her address?”

  “No I won’t. And if you get violent, I’ll scream.”

  “I didn’t come here to hurt you. I just want to talk to my ex-wife again.”

  “Well, she doesn’t want to talk to you.”

  “Would you tell her I asked after her, and hope she is well.”

  “I’ll tell her. And now please leave.”

  “Yes of course.” He turned quickly and left, glancing around to see if she had a telephone, but he could not see one and drove off into town.

  He ate lunch in a café as he thought about his next move. He decided to visit Sylvia’s parents who lived at Aachen. He had not been to their house since he was courting over twenty years ago, and wondered if they were alive and if they still lived in the same house. A lot of ifs but worth a try. He set of as soon as he had finished eating. He reached the town late in the afternoon and set about finding the house, which had not changed much since he last saw it, except the paint was flaking and faded and the place looked run down. He knocked on the door which was opened by an old lady, and after staring at her for a moment, he realised she was Sylvia’s mother. When he said who he was she backed into the hall half shutting the door, and called out to her husband who took her place. He looked hard at Venk. “What do you want?”

  “I want to know how Sylvia is?”

  “As far as we know she’s fine.”

  “Do you see her often?”

  “About once a year that’s all.”

  They continued the conversation with Venk trying to build up the old man’s confidence in him, and when he thought the time was right he asked. “What is her address now?”

  “I can’t remember.” The old man replied, frowning.

  Venk smiled. “Do you know which town she’s living in?”

  “Oh, I think it’s Utrecht, but I don’t know her exact address.”

  He carried on talking for a while knowing he could not get any more information, but wanting to leave the man with a favourable impression in case Sylvia should contact him. He drove back to Antwerp, arriving late in the evening, weary after a long day and ate a brief meal before retiring to bed.

  He arrived in Utrecht the next morning, and strolled around the centre of town looking in shops, and hoping to catch a glimpse of Sylvia. He scanned the telephone directory to see if she was registered under his name, but she was not either under her maiden name or his. This did not surprise him, but he considered it worth investigating. As the next day was Sunday, he thought there was a good chance she would visit her sister in Gent, so he drove to the block of flats and parked within sight of the entrance. As it was such a pleasant day he walked for a while but kept the flat in sight, except when he became distracted by children playing on the swings. He sat on a bench half looking at the flat’s entrance and half looking at the children, and wondered what it would have been like if he and Sylvia had had children. They would be getting older by now. He started to get those horrible visions again, so he walked back to the car, spending the rest of the day watching and thinking. By four in the afternoon he gave up. He was uncomfortable sitting so long and his stomach was twisted up due to his mind drifting first to his imagined humiliation then to scenes of revenge.

  That evening he rang Heidi and arranged to lunch with her in Antwerp the next day. He decided once again to attempt to get his ex wife out of his mind, and went out in the morning to buy some new coffee mugs and other things that kept him occupied until he met Heidi. She seemed pleased to see him, showing an interest in his purchases, and they lunched in the same café as before. She chatted non- stop about the things she had been doing. Venk was happy just to listen whilst enjoying her company, and after they had finished eating she said.” And what have you been doing?”

  He made up a story about looking for a job in Gent and then said gloomily, “I didn’t get it.”

  She reached across the table and held his hand. “Don’t worry you’ll find the right job soon.”

  He loved the way she tenderly held his hand because it made him feel so good. They spent a couple of hours talking and walking together through the town stopping for coffee when she explained that her husband was at home, so she could not invite him back. Venk had mixed feelings about this, because on the one hand it would be nice to spend the night with her again, but on the other he did not want to fail again. They parted at the bus stop with Venk waving as she disappeared, and wondering if he would have the chance of proving to her that he was a real man.

  That evening he watched a film at his local cinema which he enjoyed, and the evening passed quickly, but the rest of the week he wrestled with his mind, trying to keep it occupied so it did not drift in the usual direction. This strategy seemed to work. He even enquired about a job as a salesman in a jewellery shop and the proprietor was impressed with his knowledge of jewellery, but needed two references. Venk said he would return with them and departed, knowing he could not.

  The weekend came and went and on Monday night he rang Heidi, who agreed to have lunch with him in the city next day. The met in the usual place but did some shopping before eating in a different café overlooking a busy shopping area this time. Heidi chatted rapidly as usual, bringing him up to date with her social life and mentioned her trips to the mental hospital, describing in detail the suffering of some of the patients.

  Venk showed an interest and asked questions about the symptoms, but shuddered when he recognised some of his own problems. Changing the subject he asked if her husband was at home. She was pleased to relate that he would be away for two weeks and then whispered. “Rolf, would you like to come home with me again?”

  “Yes I would.” He felt a warm sensation inside again, which made him reach across the table and touch her hand. It was warm and soft with beautiful smooth skin, and as he moved his fingertips lightly across her knuckles she smiled warmly as she sensed his affection.

  They talked softly and drank coffee for half an hour until Heidi noticed the waiter staring at them. She waited until he was looking the other way and whispered, “I think we should go.”

  Venk was staring out of the window and did not hear a word. He had seen Sylvia walking out of a shop with a boy of about six years old beside her. She walked towards the café and then turned right in front of the window, not noticing him staring at her. He was absolutely certain it was her because she had not changed much, except her hair was longer and she looked happy as she chatted to the child at her side. His face drained of its colour, and he felt tense as he gripped the side of the table, watching as she disappeared into a shop. He was about to get up and follow her when he heard Heidi’s voice. “Rolf, are you all right? You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

  His head spun around, his eyes blazing and a frown appeared on his forehead. He took her breath away, and she became frightened for a moment until he spoke. “I’m sorry I thought I saw someone I know.”

  She frowned. “Whoever you think you saw did not do you any good, did it?”

  He managed a smile. “I’ll be fine in a minute. Let’s go for a walk.”

  “Good idea.”

  He got up with his pulse racing, a sick feeling in his stomach and they walked away from the shops.

  After ten minutes of silence Heidi said. “Let’s sit down here in the park.”

  His face was still pale and he answered in a shaky voice. “Yes, I do feel a bit weak.”

  They sat in silence for a while, with the wind ruffling their hair and chasing leaves along the pavement. She moved closer and he felt her arm against his. A sudden gust of wind made her long hair brush against his face, a sensation he enjoyed. How would he have coped without her? He turned and look
ed into her deep blue eyes, “I’m sorry, I must have frightened you in the café.”

  “That doesn’t matter, but I’m very worried about you.”

  “Oh please don’t worry, I’ll get over it.”

  “Please tell me about it, perhaps I can help.”

  He thought for a moment, wondering if he should confide in her. “It was my ex-wife. I saw her for the first time in years.”

  “I can understand you being surprised, but you were shocked and angry. Why was that?”

  He told her the story he had convinced himself of over the last few years, but conveniently left out his visions of revenge as they would frighten her. She listened in silence and when he had finished she whispered. “Poor Rolf, no wonder you look so ill.”

  He felt better for having shared his problem and the colour returned to his face, his stomach relaxed but he still felt weak. “Thanks for listening. I feel a lot better now.”

  “That’s good. I’m pleased I could help, but really you need more help than I can give you.”

  “I know you must think I’m mad, and should be locked away.”

  She was shocked and backed away. “I most certainly do not think you’re mad. And the last thing you need is to be locked away.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that when you have been so kind to me.”

  She smiled. “I meant it would be a good idea for you to see a special doctor, who could help you get rid of those bad feelings.”

  “I don’t like doctors, and I won’t go and see one.”

  She could see it would be useless to try and change his mind. “In that case you’ll have to get over the problem yourself, and I’ll try to help.”

  “You’ve already helped a great deal.”

  They chatted for some time and his problem seemed to forge a new bond between them. She suggested things he should do and ways to focus his mind on good things, and after a while they walked back to the shops to buy some books and food. He drove her home where they sat in the kitchen talking and later prepared a meal together. He watched as she peeled the vegetables, admiring her slim waist and shapely bottom, and felt sure he could make love to her. He put his arm around her waist, her shoulder tucked under his arm and he buried his face in her hair, smelling her perfume and kissing her.

  “You are a very loving man, Rolf.” He let his hand wander lower and stroked her bottom. It felt good and he wanted to make love to her right there in the kitchen. She giggled and whispered, “Do you want to eat the meal or me?”

  Her voice brought him back to reality. “I think we should enjoy that super dinner you’re about to cook.”

  “In that case you can lay the table.”

  “The meal was large and delicious, and washed down with half a bottle of wine after which Heidi said. “Shall we have coffee in the lounge?”

  “I think we should do the washing-up first.”

  “Very well, but you don’t have to.”

  “But last time I was here I left you to do all the cleaning up.”

  Washing-up took a long time with Heidi chatting all the time, and they drank their coffee in the kitchen before moving into the lounge to sit together on the settee. Their conversation turned to his problem, Heidi reiterating that he should try and relax. “Let me massage you again.”

  He took off his jacket and shirt before lying on his stomach, and she worked on his back and shoulders. He remembered how good it was on the previous occasion and it was even better this time. She stopped after a while saying she was getting warm, and he lay still with his eyes closed, feeling a tingling sensation in his back and a warm feeling inside. He heard a rustling sound, before her warm hands started work again gently rubbing and stroking and then she stopped again. She put her hand under him to feel his chest and he felt her warm soft breasts touching his back as she moved slowly up and down. Her hand found the buckle of his belt, unfastened it and unzipped his trousers as he lifted his body for her. They both got completely undressed and he looked at her beautiful body again. It was superb and he wanted to devour her.

  She held him close and whispered “Don’t try to make love to me. Just be nice and massage my back. She lay on the settee as he massaged her, working slowly down to her bottom and legs; he kissed her tenderly down her spine, and the smell of her perfume made him very sexy. When she rolled over he caressed her breasts very tenderly, making her nipples rise and go hard. She closed her eyes and groaned as he rubbed her thighs. He lay and kissed her pubic mound. He lay on top of her, kissed her lips and she felt him getting harder, pressing against her leg. She reached down and held his erection, guiding him slowly towards her, but as she opened her legs wider she felt him go soft and his body tense. She quickly rolled over, started to massage his back and within five minutes he had completely relaxed again.

  He sat beside her. “I’m sorry I ruined it for you.”

  “Don’t be silly. You couldn’t help what happened. In any case I enjoyed it very much.” She talked to him for some time, assuring him that all would be well if he could just be patient. Eventually feeling cold, they dressed, drank another cup of coffee and agreed to meet again in three days for lunch.

  Venk drove home, cursing Sylvia loudly for stopping him making love again. He was determined to heed Heidi’s advice to keep himself busy, and his mind actively engaged in positive thoughts. The following days were spent doing things he enjoyed, looking for a job and actually attending two interviews.

  He met Heidi again and whilst lunching together in a café overlooking the park she wanted to know how he had managed during the last few days, and was pleased when he told her about the interviews. They walked for a while, keeping well away from the shops and the afternoon passed in a flash with Heidi suggesting an evening at the cinema, as there was an interesting film showing. He agreed it would be much better than going alone, and after eating they settled in the cinema. The film was enjoyable and afterwards he drove back to Heidi’s house where they sat outside talking for a while. Venk said “I won’t come in. I need more time.”

  “I understand” she whispered and snuggled up close. They kissed deeply and when he put his hand inside her blouse she giggled. “This is just like courting again.” He smiled and kissed her again. They agreed to meet shortly and he returned to his flat, thinking how nice it would be to invite her back. Perhaps it would be better for him in his own surroundings. Before inviting anyone to his flat he decided some decorating and cleaning needed to be done. Painting the windows meant leaving them open all day, so fresh air would blow away the damp musty smell. Gradually the flat began to look much brighter, and with some new carpet and second-hand chairs it looked more homely, no longer depressing him every time he walked in.

  When Heidi met him for lunch, she noticed him looking much happier and saw that his hands were stained with paint. “You’ve been decorating. That’s good.”

  “Yes. The next time I see you it’ll be finished and I can take you there for coffee.”

  “That’ll be splendid.”

  The following morning a letter arrived informing Venk he would have to attend another interview, so he rang the office and arranged an appointment for the next day. He became quite excited and went out to buy a new jacket and trousers. The interview went very well and he was told that he could have the job, but there would be a delay and he would not be able to start for another two weeks. He was delighted, shook hands warmly with the interviewer and rang Heidi to impart the good news on his way home. Later he had hoped to finish painting the bedroom but the paint ran out. It was too late to buy any more paint, so he cleaned the rest of the flat.

  More paint was purchased the next day along with necessary food. As he walked home, his shopping bag full, he looked across the road and spotted Sylvia about to cross the road towards him. He turned and walked into a shop doorway staring at the glass, which gave him a partial reflection of her.
She obviously did not recognise him, and was actually walking towards his flat. His mind was in turmoil – should he ignore or follow her? He followed her to where his car was parked, opened it and put the bag inside and then carried on about one hundred yards to where she stopped to get into a green car. He walked quickly back to his car and proceeded to follow at a safe distance. She carried on out of the city, taking the road to Gent, and he followed her to a farmhouse with a cowshed attached just outside of town, where she unloaded her shopping and walked inside. He watched unseen and glanced around the untidy farmyard with odd pieces of machinery parked around the edges; some of it had weeds and grass growing up through and most was rusty. He sat there getting angry with her for some time, the horrible visions returning. He then got angry with himself for not ignoring her, particularly as he was getting on so well and his mind returned to Heidi. What would she say if she knew he had run after his ex-wife. He quickly started the car and drove away whilst trying to think of other things.

  The painting came to an end that evening, and he put the furniture back into position before going to bed. The smell of the paint awoke him in the night, and he had to put his head out of the window for some fresh air before proceeding to brew the usual coffee. As he sat up in bed thinking, his mind returned to Sylvia yet again, and all attempts to think of other things failed. She occupied his mind and he could not stop her, the vision of her horrible laughing face making him spill his coffee, this time soaking his pyjamas.

  He drove back to the farm, parked half a mile away and walked back, hiding behind one of the machines and watching the house for the rest of the day. The green car was still parked outside and stayed there until four when Sylvia drove away, returning half an hour later with a small boy dressed in school uniform. He ran inside followed by his mother. Venk then noticed a big man drive in on a tractor pulling a trailer full of hay. He got off and walked into the house without knocking. This must be her husband he thought.