Splinters

by M R Field

  “Right. Forgot you were a cold, hard bitch. My apologies.”

  Her eyes narrow as she pulls a drumstick from her back pocket and points it at him.

  “Okay.” Robbie quickly dashes over. “Ty and I were just leaving.”

  “Ty, doesn’t Robbie need you in the office? I think he’s a bit busy at the moment,” Trice begins, trying to kick aside Robbie’s embarrassment. Me? I watch in astonishment as Robbie’s shirt tightens while his arm grips Ty’s shoulder to move him towards the door. A sliver of his shirt moves up and I catch a glimpse of muscled, tanned skin. This is not good. I have already seduced him in my head and now I can add a visual. Staying away is getting harder and harder. I just kicked myself in the behind for even thinking about him.

  “Dude,” Robbie interrupts my lust fog. “Let’s leave these girls to practise, okay?” He turns away and begins to walk pushing Ty to the side, who naturally follows him. With his back to me, I want more than ever for those dark eyes to look at me. To give me a wink or something flirty or light-hearted, as he usually does. Is he mad at me? Was he watching?

  “All good.” Ty nods at us as he turns towards the door. Pointing to his head, he says loudly enough for all of us to hear. “I have enough images stored up here to keep me a happy boy tonight.”

  Trice and I burst out laughing as the backs of Robbie’s shoulders stiffen.

  “Not cool, dickhead,” Robbie responds tightly, swatting Ty in the back of the head.

  “Don’t worry, dude, I’ll keep my active imagination to myself. But man, it’s pretty cool in there,” he laughs as Robbie lets out a slight growl. Ty looks over to Roni and yells, “You, wildcat! Pity you’re not interested.”

  “I don’t do dudes,” she snaps.

  “Oh!” Ty’s grin gets even bigger. “What a coincidence! I like eating pus—oof!” His words become muffled as Robbie steps closer to him, and smacks the back of his head.

  “Stop now, before I really hurt you. Sorry, Roni.”

  “No sweat, Robbie. Hit him as much as you like.” She laughs.

  Ty ducks past him quickly and races through the doorway before Robbie can get to him again. I keep watching him, waiting for him to turn around, but he pauses at the doorway and sighs, his jaw clenching. I’m about to look away when his eyes flick up towards me, and I’m frozen in his lustful gaze again. Even from a distance, I know that his eyes are heated, and I know by the rise and fall of his chest that he’s feeling what I am feeling right now. Before either of us makes a move, he looks to the left and mutters to himself while walking away. I’m left standing there confused and frustrated all at once. I want to go to him, but my stupid heart won’t let me.

  The band decides to finish up for the day and pack up, leaving Trice and I to gather our things.

  “Shit,” Trice whispers. “Trinity was right. The chemistry between you guys could blow up a building.”

  I breathe out and nod. For weeks I have dodged her questions about Robbie, but now I was tired of it.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I whisper. Turning to face Trice, I feel the sting of tears as they begin to cascade down my heated cheeks. “I’m petrified. Love never works with me, Trice. You know what my family was like, what my ex did … Robbie’s dating history.” My voice breaks as I angrily swipe away the tears. “Robbie’s never had a serious girlfriend. I’m not going to risk my heart to only become a girlfriend with an expiry date. No way.”

  Trice wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to her. I clench the water bottle in my hand and lean my head into her neck.

  “Oh honey,” she soothes. “You think I wasn’t scared with Alex? He screwed half the campus at school. But look at us now. Do I regret our past? Never. Do people change? Absolutely. Remember that Robbie has always had a soft spot for you. Don’t doubt the way he feels. I’ve never seen him so secretive over someone.”

  “Can’t imagine why,” I sniff.

  “It’s because you’re precious to him. You need to realise that.”

  I nod and squeeze her tighter. I want to see it. I want my feelings reciprocated. I want Robbie more than anything. Can I do it? Lifting my head up, I look towards the doorframe and for a moment, I see a shadow flicker away from the entry. I blink and focus again but see nothing there. Phew. I’m grateful that he isn’t standing there listening to me sob out my insecurities.

  “C’mon,” Trice coos, “let’s head to Trinity’s for our last fitting! It’s been two weeks since we were there last.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  We jump into Trice’s fire-engine red Barina and zip across town to Trinity’s. With a flick of a switch, the CD player illuminates and the thumping beats of “Just The Thing” fill the car, and I can’t help but begin to wiggle in my seat. Trice bops in her seat and as the song approaches the opening lyrics, I can’t help but vibrate my throat to begin. I allow the words to coat my tongue as I sing alongside Trice, belting them out and enjoying the surround sound that the car affords us. My sombre mood fades as the feel-good beats of Paul Mac wash away the faded tears from my skin. I’m rejuvenated and I will be brave. I dance in my seat as I belt out the words all the while not noticing that we have stopped at a red light. As I sing out into the wind, I turn to find a couple in a blue sedan stationed next to us watching me. Before I can feel slightly embarrassed, Trice leans forward in her seat and yells, “Emerald Vixen on Nicholson, grand opening, New Year’s Eve! Come and see!” A loud horn sounds from behind us as we realise the lights are green. Trice turns to the front and drives the car forward while I shrug at the neighbouring car and yell, “See you there!”

  We burst into a fit of giggles that carries us to Trinity’s front door.

  Just as we are about to enter, Trice nudges my side and says, “That song was divine intervention, you know that, right?”

  I roll my eyes, but can’t help the smile that breaks across my face. My heart was a splintered mess that has stopped me for so long. Maybe it’s time I take the leap. I just hope when I do, that I will land all in one piece.

  We stroll into Trinity’s warehouse and are inundated with a range of colours. Each mannequin has been tie-dyed in multiple colours, while deep reds, oranges and yellow garments line them. What goes on in Trin’s mind I’ll never understand—at least it was never dull. Trin smiles at us from her desk from the back of the showroom as she sits on the edge of it with a magazine in her hand. Correction: graphic novel. If she heard me call it a magazine, she would probably paper-cut me in twenty different ways.

  “Hey biatches,” she sings, while her legs swing back and forth. The novel is open in one hand as she traces an image with her finger. These are the moments we have to be careful. She can’t understand our lack of understanding about this series, but we amuse her no less.

  “Good edition?” I ask, glancing onto the page. Her finger continues to trace the male character in the corner, with the speech bubble above his head: ‘Fill your life with colour’ as he faces a girl dressed in black who responds with ‘I don’t know how.’

  For years, Trin has followed this author TTE and once a month he releases a new novel that continues the story of these two characters. From the outside looking in, they seemed a bit depressing but for Trin, she feels as if they are speaking to her. TTE was an enigma, and all we know from what she can gather is that they are based in Melbourne somewhere.

  “I’ve read it three times since I picked it up last week. I feel so inspired with my current collection.” She gently closes the novel and places it on her desk, a careful distance from her coffee cup. “This one was just so …” she stares out in the room towards her collection. “Perfect.”

  “But it’s so dark,” Trice mutters.

  Trin shakes her head and tuts. “Not to me. Your music dances with you …well, this lives in me.”

  “Wow,” Trice mutters. “So too does Mufasa.”

  I laugh as Trin pokes Trice in the arm. “Shut it, smart arse, or I’ll make your costume itchy.�
�� She smirks as she strolls around the side of the desk to head behind to the back room. I throw my bag on her chair as I follow eagerly behind.

  I gasp as my eyes greedily eat up what is in front of us. There on two mannequins sit the most beautiful set of costumes I have ever seen.

  “Holy shit,” Trice whispers through her fingertips as they cover her mouth. Her shock mirrors my own. I am speechless.

  “You gals like it?” Trin walks up to one and turns the mannequin around to show the back. I gasp at the intricate detail in the corset.

  “Love,” I whisper. “Absolutely love it.”

  “Excellent. I have almost finished the band’s costumes too. They look great.”

  I am so stunned by the beauty that she has created that I simply nod in acknowledgement.

  The emerald green corset lines the mannequin and my fingertips are itching to reach out and touch it. It is far more beautiful than her drawing. A black thick ruffle of tulle lines the top of the vibrant emerald corset, while a black ribbon has been threaded underneath it all the way around until, it meets into a bow in the front. Down across the front, black swirls of lace curve around the side of her breasts, while more lace has been gently stitched from the armpit and down to the waistline. Down the middle, four pearl buttons are positioned, with the illusion of being the opening part.

  On the back of the other costume, the black ruffle continues around the top of the corset, with lacy black swirls across the back. A soft satin gypsy skirt is hitched at the sides with more black ribbon, while ruffles of lace and tulle linger underneath the front and back of the skirt. One side hangs lower, as the edges are tipped in a green curved lace. The dress gives a feel of an old western barmaid’s costume, both fun and provocative. A pretty present ready to be unwrapped.

  “The boys are going to lose their minds,” Trice states firmly.

  “That was my intention,” Trin muses.

  “I don’t think Alex will let me out of the changing room.”

  I nod. He was going to lock her up.

  “I think it’s the perfect means of seducing Robbie.” Trinity throws in, and I feel as if I’ve been doused with a bucket of ice. Was I ready? I was going to have to get ready.

  “Do you think he’ll like it?” I ask nervously, biting my lower lip. Both the girls turn and face me, their brows raised in confusion.

  “For shit’s sake, Hazel,” Trin snaps. “He isn’t blind. You think Alex is bad? Wait until you see what Robbie does when he gets his hands on you.”

  I shiver. I felt those hands on me for a moment, and my skin still burns from his touch.

  “So what are you going to do?” Trice asks, a look of pure determination on her face. I breathe out deeply and my shoulders rise and fall. I could spend a lifetime wondering if it would be worth it, and the ache in my chest would remain. Loneliness would still follow. If I take this chance, at least I can break free from the unknown. Even for a moment. He is destined for me, I can feel it. This is it.

  “I’m going to …” My pulse quickens as I close my eyes. This was ridiculous, I have acted in front of thousands and the thought of seducing Robbie has me trembling. The crippling fear begins to rise in my chest but I concentrate on pushing it down. Not this time. “Claim my man.”

  Oh my God. What have I …

  Before I can react and retreat in my cave of denial, the girls begin to scream and grab my arms and dance around me, spinning me in circles.

  “About time!” Trice yells.

  “But … what … if.” My body is pulled like a ragdoll, around and around. “He’s changed his mind?”

  They both stop suddenly and stare at me.

  “He hasn’t,” Trice emphatically explains.

  “How do you know?” I shoot back.

  “He won’t let us tease the shit out of him, for starters,” Trice chides. “Then he has this slight limp.”

  “Oh my God! What? Is he okay?” I squeal, worried that Robbie has been hurt in some way.

  Trice smiles as her wicked eyes stare back at me. “He’s fine. He’s just limping as he has … blue balls, I’m afraid.”

  Ugh. I walked right into that one. “Whatever, you meanie,” I laugh. My mood serious for a moment, I suddenly feel nervous again. “But what do I do? How should I win him over?”

  “I have an idea,” Trinity giggles as she taps her chin in mock thought. “I think you’ll love this plan too.”

  Somehow, I think I’ve gotten myself in over my head and I haven’t even started yet.

  “In between days.”

  The Cure

  ROBBIE

  “Dude, chill the fuck out. Are your balls sweaty or your jocks too tight? Lose the tight Mark Wahlberg’s and wear the loosen-goosen ones. The swimmers need room to move and groove.”

  “Fuck off, Ty, I have a lot riding on this.”

  “You’re acting like a wanker. Chill. The. Fuck. Out.”

  We’re sitting in my office—or, I’m sitting at my desk and Ty’s reclining on my leather couch with his legs hanging over the arm, without a care in the world. Me? My bar opens tomorrow and I’m not going to lie, I am sweating like a pig in an abattoir. Everything is raring to go, but the reason behind the bar in the first place. Sure, Hazel will be performing, but that’s all it’s going to be. And that kills me.

  “It’s not your future at stake, dickwad,” I grumble, staring at my computer screen and punching in the final numbers of inventory. I punch those friggin’ keys in like a bratty kid, but I don’t give a shit. I’m on edge, and it’s getting worse. I need something to blame, and this computer will do.

  “You’ll be fine; you have everything covered. Although if it was a strip joint, you’d make a killing. The whole no nipple rule kinda has me bummed out.”

  “That’s my sister on that stage, you dickhead.”

  “And your future woman.”

  I freeze and stop punching the keys and glare over at him. “She’s not my woman.” I don’t even know what she is anymore and that hurts like a fucker.

  Ty squints and sits up, giving me a look that means business. He spins around to face me and puts his elbows on his knees.

  “What is going on, Rob? Someone shit in your cornflakes?”

  “No, nothing is going on. That is the whole point.” I swing back in my office chair and fold my hands behind my head, tilting my head to the ceiling and sighing. “I think the ship has sailed, dude.” I stare at the air conditioning vent to avoid looking at Ty. “But I’m too far gone to stop caring for her.”

  I close my eyes and picture her dancing with Trice the other week. Her hips rolling into the chair, her voice calling to me, and that look she gave the mirror as she sang … fuck. The look had been the cause of more cold showers than I could count this week. What would it take to turn that look towards me? Everything. “He has never had a serious girlfriend. I’m not going to risk my heart to only become a girlfriend with an expiry date. No way.” Murphy’s fucking law—of all the times to go back to see if they needed something, I had to hear that. Four years this plan took to create and now … the reason behind it was just going to be destroyed, if I didn’t get my act together. How the fuck was I going to convince her that I was serious?

  “Dude, I think you need to get out of the office for a bit, go home and hit the gym or something.”

  I give the vent one last look, sitting forward in my chair again. Running my fingers through my hair, I nod. Fresh air would be good to clear my head.

  “Yeah, I’ll just head on out. I’m feeling like a caged dog in here. Don’t wanna hate this place before it even opens.” I grab my keys, wallet and phone from my desk and walk over to Ty. “Thanks dude.”

  “No worries. I like playing Dr Phil.”

  I laugh and point to my desk. “There’s a bar fridge under it; go grab a tinny.”

  Ty rolls his eyes and huffs. “Pfft, who do you think has been stocking it?”

  I shake my head as the appearance of the recent new beers make se
nse. So much for being on the game lately. Hazel sure knows how to take over my thoughts.

  I walk down the hallway and through to the club, and take a moment to admire the set up. Thick dark metal-grey curtains line the walls around the room and the polished floor gleams under the soft drop lights. The bar itself is stocked with the finest liquors on oak shelves, and the glasses prepared to the side of it. A large neon sign hangs against the wall with Emerald Vixen in cursive green script, with the silhouette of a buxom woman crouched down, leaning on her knees, with a slight turn towards the front. Her long hair touches her waist in soft curls as her red lips pout in a wanton kiss. Dressed in only a leotard that shows off her seductive and ample curves, she’s every man’s and some women’s fantasy. She illuminates the bar area, giving it a hushed and sexy glow. My chest feels the sting of her gaze and for a moment, the loneliness of not having the real muse stings like a motherfucker.

  Flipping the ring of my keys around, over and over in my hand, I take one last look before turning around and walking back down the hall towards the back car park. Later I will check everything, but for now, I need to let off some steam.

  I decide to fill my time with tedious tasks before hitting my home gym. I wasn’t planning on walking in on Alex and Trice again, and I didn’t want to waste my time calling them. If they didn’t answer then the up-chuck would return, and if they did, chances are they would sound athletic.

  My work uniforms need to be picked up, so I drive to the dry cleaners on my way around town. I had chosen black shirts with the “EV” in cursive script on the left-hand side as well as Emerald Vixen written across the back of the shoulder blades in thick cursive writing. At the time, I wanted to have reminders of her, but now, the words are going to lie heavily on my chest and back.

  I sit idly in the car, the uniforms draped beside me, and can’t help but feel a slow panic rise in my chest. For years, I had plotted this. Studied, planned and worked my arse off, sweating my balls off doing double shifts in dry, dusty mines all to get a sweet pay to land this. For years, I had thought of Hazel, of her lips against mine on the night of her Rent performance when I could hold back no longer, hunting her down backstage. The second, the very second she’d seen me, she knew. She knew that I would no longer keep my distance. That my teasing and secret texts were no longer enough. The moment our lips touched changed my life.