Holding a Tender Heart

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Debbie took the next turn, and moments later pulled into the Beiler driveway, coming to a stop beside the familiar buggies lined up beside the barn. She parked and climbed out, taking a deep breath while closing the car door with a soft click. In the distance a team of horses pulled some farm apparatus in a field. They appeared tiny across the vastness of the open acres. Debbie waved and a hand came up in response. From here she couldn’t tell whether it was Bishop Beiler or Emery. She didn’t wish to meet either of them at the moment. She’d decided it would be better to talk to Saloma or maybe Verna first. It would be better that way.

  Turning toward the house, Debbie watched the front door burst open. Lois raced out, bounced to a stop in front of her, and gave her a big hug. “What brings you back today? Have you found another reason to celebrate with us?”

  “Not really,” Debbie said. Now that she was here, how was she to begin? Obviously not with Lois.

  “You look somber, Debbie. Has something happened?” Lois asked.

  “No.” Debbie smiled a little. “I just need to speak with your mom or Verna. Are they at home?”

  “Of course!” Lois’s face had brightened considerably. “Verna and Ida are almost ready to begin with the chores, and I’ve started supper.”

  “Then I’ll try not to be long,” Debbie said.

  “You can stay as long as you wish.” Lois’s face glowed again. “You always bring a fresh breath of air to this stale family.”

  “Now, Lois, that’s not nice.” Debbie frowned.

  Lois pouted. “Well, it’s true. Although Verna did finally bring home a man last Sunday night. Can you believe that? The first male company we’ve had on a Sunday night in, like, forever!”

  “She did? That’s wonderful!” Debbie exclaimed.

  Lois wrinkled her nose. “It was only boring old Joe Weaver, so I wouldn’t call that very exciting. His old girlfriend, Rosy, dumped him not that long ago. That tells you how interesting he is.”

  “Verna must think he’s interesting, and she’s a good judge of people,” Debbie protested.

  Lois grimaced. “Joe’s okay if you plan to stay boring Amish—which I don’t.”

  “Lois!” Debbie gasped. “Don’t speak like that.”

  “Who would’ve thought you’d be on my family’s side?” Lois said sourly. “You’re Englisha and all. You should be for them, not for the Amish.”

  Wait until you hear what I’m here for! Debbie wanted to say, but that wouldn’t be wise.

  Lois led the way to the house. Verna was waiting at the front door, beaming a happy smile.

  “Good afternoon!” Debbie greeted.

  “And a gut afternoon to you,” Verna replied. “What brings you out today?”

  “She wants to speak with you or Mamm,” Lois said.

  “Have you got a moment?” Debbie asked as a questioning look crept over Verna’s face.

  Verna glanced down at her chore dress. “Sure. We don’t have to go out for another ten minutes or so. Come in. Did you notice if the men have brought in the horses?”

  “No, they were still working in the field,” Debbie said as she stepped inside. Verna didn’t know how great a compliment she had just paid her by expecting her to notice things around the farm—enough at least to comment on them. The evening was off to a good start!

  “Mamm!” Verna called over her shoulder. “Will you please come in here? Debbie would like to talk with us.”

  “Yah!” Saloma answered. She appeared moments later.

  “Thank you for giving me a few minutes,” Debbie said. “I won’t take long.”

  “Ach, please sit,” Saloma said, gesturing toward the couch. “We have the rest of the day, do we not?”

  Debbie sat on the couch. They obviously didn’t have the rest of the day, but the words had a nice welcoming feel. “Well, I…I…Um, this may come as a surprise, but I…I…I need to move out of Mom and Dad’s place. I’m looking for a place to board.”

  “Oh my!” Saloma exclaimed. She waited for more information.

  Debbie plunged on. “Would you and the bishop consider taking me on as a boarder? A paying boarder? I don’t wish to move into town, and I appreciate your lifestyle and all. It would be just so—so, well, it just seems right to me. If you’ll consider it, and if it can work out for your family too, of course.”

  “Your parents are asking you to leave?” Saloma obviously hadn’t absorbed that point.

  Debbie didn’t hesitate. “No, not in the way it sounds. Mom thinks it’s time I moved on. Grew up, you could say, and left the nest. It bothers her to see her grown daughter still in the house and not advancing in the world.”

  “And they know you are asking us this?” Saloma asked, still puzzled.

  Debbie rushed, “I haven’t told Mom where I’m going. But, please, it will be all the same to them. In fact, they’d probably rather see me come here than go someplace unfamiliar.”

  Saloma just stared at her.

  Debbie tried again. “Maybe that’s not quite true. They may think I’m a little weird wanting to live the Amish way, but I’m not, Saloma. I grew up around your farm, and I love how you live. You see, I don’t really fit in out there in the world. It’s almost as if I should have been born someplace else—like maybe into an Amish family.”

  “I see,” Saloma said as she studied her.

  This wasn’t going well, Debbie decided. She’d better spill the whole thing after all. “It’s that…well…I-I think I may want to go Amish eventually—if such a thing is possible. I think it is from what I know of your community.”

  “Ach, then that’s different.” Saloma smiled for the first time. “Do you really have such a thought in your head?”

  “Yes, I do,” Debbie assured her. “I’ve had these thoughts for a long time. I just haven’t let them come out until now.”

  “You know this will be hard, Debbie?” Verna spoke up for the first time.

  “That’s why she’s taking this slowly,” Saloma said. “I needed to know what the end goal was before we considered this.”

  “You’re not really thinking of going Amish, are you?” Lois choked out from where she stood in the kitchen doorway.

  “Does that disappoint you?” Debbie asked, glancing in her direction. Lois’s disapproval was one thing she’d expected. Would Lois oppose her? That might make this situation untenable or, at the least, uncomfortable.

  Lois managed to smile. “I said last week I’d love to have you here, but joining the Amish is a little crazy, if you ask me. I want to join the Englisha, and you want to join the Amish. I guess it’s your right.” Lois’s face lit up. “Say! Why don’t we switch places?”

  Verna gasped.

  Debbie shook her head. “That wouldn’t be a good idea, Lois.”

  “Maybe in your opinion, but not in mine,” Lois retorted.

  “Then we have differing opinions, I suppose,” Debbie replied.

  Lois shook her head. “I think you’re out of your mind.”

  “Let’s not talk about that right now,” Saloma interrupted. “We will take the matter up with Daett and let you know, Debbie. Maybe by the end of this week. Will that work or are you in a rush for an answer?”

  “I am,” Debbie admitted. “But that’s okay. This will give me time to talk to Mom and Dad and let them know what I’ve asked and that you’re considering it. I don’t want it to come as a total surprise.”

  “That would be gut,” Saloma agreed.

  Debbie rose. “I think I’ve kept you long enough. Thank you so much for considering my request. I know it’s strange. I suppose it’s not every day that an Englisha girl arrives and asks to live with an Amish family and maybe join the Amish faith.”

  “You can say that again!” Lois said.

  “I hope this works out.” Verna gave Debbie a quick hug. “For more reasons than you realize.”

  Debbie almost asked what those were, but she changed her mind. Verna was allowed her personal reasons for why she supported Debbie
joining the Amish. It warmed Debbie’s heart that Verna cared.

  Lois followed Debbie out the door and across the front lawn. Debbie turned to wave goodbye to Verna and Saloma, who were standing on the porch. Once they were near her car, Lois launched in.

  “I didn’t want to say too much in front of Mamm, Debbie. Originally I suggested this, I know, but I wasn’t serious. This is insane. Do you know what you’re getting yourself into? Daett won’t even let us date Amish boys unless they’re saints. How many of those do you think exist? To say nothing of how restricted our rumspringa time has been. In fact, Verna and Ida ended up taking very little of it at all!”

  “I’m just looking into it for now,” Debbie hedged. “I won’t be that involved…not in your family. I don’t want to be in the way.”

  Lois made a face. “Oh, yah, you will be involved. Daett won’t tolerate someone in the house who isn’t considered part of the family. He’ll want to treat you like one of his daughters.”

  Now the warm feelings rushed all the way through Debbie. Lois hadn’t meant her words as a comfort, but they were the sweetest Debbie had heard in a long time. Could she really become part of this wonderful family?

  Lois struggled to express herself. “I like you, of course, so maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. You’ve always been such a wunderbah person to have around.”

  “Thank you, Lois!” Debbie whispered. “Thank you for at least trying to understand. I know it’s especially hard for you. Even though I’m considering the Amish way, I really don’t believe you belong in my world.”

  “It’s okay if you think that,” Lois said and shrugged as Debbie climbed into her car. “I don’t think you belong in mine either.”

  They waved to each other, and Debbie was soon pulling into her own driveway. Now for the hard part, she thought as she got out of the car. Telling Mom and Dad. Perhaps things would go more smoothly than she thought. A rueful look crossed her face. No, she might as well prepare for battle. And what better strategy could she use than to prepare a real Amish meal for supper. A meal made especially for her parents. Well, perhaps a small dish since she couldn’t cook that well.

  A shadow crossed Debbie’s face. Her mom might purchase supper in town at one of the fast-food places. She could call and tell her not to, but how would that conversation go? “Mom, I’m cooking tonight.” If she said that, Mom would buy fast food for sure. She would just cook something and surprise them. She would need help…need a recipe or something. She smiled as the thought came to her. She would ask Lois for a simple recipe. That wouldn’t be too much bother. She’d run back to the Beiler farm right now and then zip home again. The Beilers would be on her side. Didn’t the Amish believe a man’s heart lay through his stomach? They would understand if she explained that if she could get her dad won over, she had a chance with her mom.

  Debbie quickly changed out of her work clothes and grabbed a recipe book from the cupboard. She blew off the dust and paged through it. Nothing looked right, but of course nothing would. It wasn’t an Amish cookbook. This is where Lois would come in.

  Debbie raced out of the house with her keys dangling on her fingers. She got back into the car and was at the Beilers’ door seconds later. Lois answered the knock, her hands damp and covered in potato peelings.

  Debbie held out the cookbook. “May I borrow your wisdom for a moment? I need a dish I can cook quickly for supper tonight. Will you pick one and help me? It’s important. I need to impress Dad tonight.”

  Lois raised her eyebrows. “So you can break the news to your parents?”

  Debbie nodded.

  Lois’s eyebrows went higher. “You’re serious about this Amish stuff, aren’t you?”

  “I told you I am. Please, Lois. You’re a wizard at cooking. Just close your eyes and point. It’ll be the perfect one.”

  Lois stared at her. “You don’t know anything about cooking, Debbie. Good food is not in a recipe, it’s in the heart.”

  Desperation crossed Debbie’s face. “Surely there’s an easy one somewhere?”

  Saloma appeared behind them. “Hi, Debbie. I thought I heard voices. Do you need something?”

  “Debbie wants a recipe she can cook at home to impress her dad,” Lois said.

  “Ach, that’s wunderbah!” Saloma enthused.

  “Actually, it’s not,” Debbie protested.

  Lois regarded Debbie again. “She doesn’t know how to cook, Mamm.”

  “I wanted to make something special tonight,” Debbie said. “I wanted Lois’s opinion. But that’s okay. I’ve bothered you folks enough. Thanks. I really should go.”

  Saloma stopped Debbie with a raised hand and gave Lois an encouraging look at the same time. “I think you can help, Lois. Why not go over there?”

  Lois wrinkled her nose in thought. “I suppose our supper is almost ready. Can you handle things from here, Mamm?”

  “I’m not that old!” Saloma protested. “I was feeding my family before you were born!”

  “Then it’s decided!” Lois wiped off her hands. “I’m going with you, Debbie.”

  Debbie stared. “You’re coming with me…as in cooking at my house?”

  “That’s it!” Lois stepped out on the front porch. “It’s not like you know how. You spend most of your time in the barn with Verna and Ida. Come, we don’t have much time.”

  “Go on, girls. I can handle things here.” Saloma waved her hand at Debbie as she stood rooted to the floor with her mouth open.

  “But…but…I didn’t want to interrupt…to take Lois away from her work.”

  Lois tugged on her sleeve, and Debbie turned while Saloma was already closing the front door.

  “I can’t do this, Lois! I can’t,” Debbie sputtered on the way back to her car.

  But Lois didn’t listen. She was muttering, “Mashed potatoes and gravy. Some kind of meat, perhaps, but maybe we won’t have time for that. At least I should try…”

  Eight

  Some two hours later the table had been set with the best silverware. Lois was pouring gravy into a bowl when Debbie’s mom pulled into the driveway.

  “Shall I leave now?” Lois asked. “I can dash across the field without her seeing me.”

  In her mind’s eye Debbie imagined Lois running, her dress flying around her. “No,” she said, “it’s better if you stay. Besides, Mom knows I could never make all this food. If she sees the cook with her own eyes she won’t think she’s being poisoned.”

  Lois laughed. “I want you to get the credit, you know. It was your idea.”

  “Like I could do anything like this,” Debbie said, taking in the spread of food with a quick sweep of her eyes. “I can never thank you enough, Lois.”

  “Don’t think twice about it,” Lois said over the sound of the garage door opening.

  Moments later Callie walked in. She stopped short. “What’s going on here?”

  “Lois made supper for us!” Debbie chirped.

  Callie was impressed. “That’s so much work!” Comprehension slowly dawned. “Okay, something’s up. You’ve never done anything like this before, Debbie. Call me suspicious, but…”

  “Well, there is something I want to talk about,” Debbie said. “But let’s wait until Dad gets home.”

  “I know you said Lois is considering breaking away from the Amish life. Is this about you moving in with us for a while, Lois?”

  “No, Mom!” Debbie said, shocked. “It’s almost the opposite, in fact. But let’s wait for Dad…please?”

  Lois cleared her throat. “I really should be going, Debbie. I hope you all enjoy the supper.”

  Callie looked from one girl to the other. “What is going on here? What do you mean just the opposite?”

  “I’ll explain when I come back, Mom,” Debbie said. “I need to take Lois home.” She took Lois’s arm and ushered her outside.

  “You should have told your mamm,” Lois protested as they climbed into the car.

  “I will at the right time. She’s
not going to take this well.”

  “I didn’t think Englisha people would object to such a thing.”

  Debbie whipped the car out of the driveway. “Well now you know.”

  “I hope your mom isn’t going to be too upset.” Lois was all sympathy.

  Debbie pulled into the Beiler driveway. “I’ll smooth things over. It’ll be okay.”

  Lois paused before she got out of the car. “You’re still not ‘in’ you know. Don’t expect Daett to make up his mind for a while. It’ll take him a week or more to consider this, if I don’t miss my guess. And I’m not sure what he’ll decide.”

  Debbie nodded.

  Lois opened the door and climbed out. She waved before heading into the house.

  At least Lois hadn’t said anything tonight about switching places! Debbie drove home and parked in the driveway. She entered the house to find her mom seated at the table.

  “I don’t object to food I don’t have to fix, you know, Debbie. But this fairly shouts to me that something serious is up. So what is it? What have you got up your sleeve?”

  Debbie sighed. She should have known better. Supper was growing colder by the minute, her mom wanted answers, and her dad wasn’t even home yet. The meal would be ice-cold long before it could accomplish its intended purpose.

  “I’m waiting for an answer,” Callie said. “You’re not in trouble, are you?”

  Debbie glanced out the window, hearing crunching sounds in the driveway. “It’s Dad. I’ll explain everything when he gets in.”

  The front door opened, and her dad stepped in. He surveyed the spread on the table and smiled. “My, my! Have the fairies been here?”

  “Sit down, dear,” Callie said. “Debbie’s got something to tell us.”

  Herbert walked closer. He stared at the food-laden table.

  “You’ll get to eat afterward, I promise,” Callie said.

  “But it’s getting cold!” he protested.

  Debbie almost laughed, but she turned her face away instead. Her ploy had worked! Her Dad would be easily won over, she was sure.

  Debbie’s mom glanced in her direction. “Shoot, girl! I’m still waiting.”