All I Ever Wanted (Of Love and Madness Book 3)

by Karen Cimms

  “Absolutely.”

  Holding her against him, he nuzzled her neck. “I love you.”

  “I know.”

  While Kate and Billy had been tongue wrestling, it seemed Christa had made her exit. The audience, waiting for an encore, stomped and cheered, and Kate couldn’t help imagining they were cheering for her.

  This slaying dragons thing? Piece of cake.

  Billy signed his last autograph and ducked into his dressing room for a quick shower.

  “Where’s Katie?” he asked C.J. as he tugged his shirt over his head.

  “Last time I saw her, she was with Denny.”

  “Everything set for tonight?”

  “All ready to go. The key card is in your wallet, and my niece is taking care of everything else.”

  “Great. Thanks.”

  C.J. turned to go, but Billy stopped him. “What was Christa Dunphy doing here?”

  C.J. raised his hands in resignation. “Look, I’m sorry. I had no idea. She was a plus one for a backstage pass with Tony Steel. I was as surprised to see her as you were.”

  “Somehow, I doubt that.” He stripped off his shirt and tossed it in the corner. “Did Katie see her?”

  C.J. nodded, and Billy wanted to punch something. “Sonofabitch.”

  “Kate disappeared for a few minutes, and the next thing I knew, she had taken off her wig and was standing next to Christa. I saw them talking for a few minutes, and then Kate went and waited for you.”

  “Did she say anything to you?”

  C.J. shook his head. “Honestly? She didn’t even seem fazed. Christa was the one who seemed unnerved. She and Tony left before your encore. I thought it was odd, especially since he’d gone to the trouble of getting backstage passes in the first place.”

  It was odd, since it was so unlike Christa to miss an opportunity to take a shot at him. She must be fuming now that he was finally having some success despite her best efforts to destroy him.

  “Go shower. I’ll find Kate and send her back.”

  “Thanks. And C.J.?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I don’t want to see that bitch anywhere near me or Katie again. Understood?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I know, but if she shows up as someone else’s guest in the future, I want her ass escorted out immediately. And if she won’t go willingly, you have security throw her out. You got that?”

  “Consider it done.”

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  “Where are we?” Kate asked with a yawn, stretching in the back seat of the rented SUV. Billy glanced in the rearview mirror and hoped the buildings whizzing by wouldn’t tip her off to their whereabouts.

  “We’ve got a little ways yet. Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

  She yawned loudly. “I’m okay.”

  He chuckled. “I can tell.”

  She unbuckled her seat belt.

  “What’re you doing?”

  “I was going to come up and keep you company. If I’m tired, you must be exhausted.”

  “I’m fine. I had a cup of coffee during the last interview. I’m wide awake. I promise. Go back to sleep.”

  “You sure?” She yawned again.

  “I am.” He reached behind the seat and gave her leg a squeeze. “Trust me.”

  “All right,” she said, her voice disappearing into the pillow she took wherever they went. “Wake me if you want me to drive.”

  A half hour later, he pulled into a parking lot past the blinking neon sign, past a long row of pickups and economy cars, and parked. He had one moment of self-doubt, then assured himself that regardless of what the place looked like, she would love it. He climbed out and opened the back door. Kate lay with her coat draped over her, snoring softly.

  He shook her gently. “Babe? We’re here. Wake up.”

  She lifted her head, straining to focus. “What time is it?”

  “Funny how you never wear a watch, but you always want to know what time it is.” He helped her sit up. “It’s a little after two.”

  “Where are we? A motel?” She slid out of the back seat and braced herself against the car.

  “You seem a little shaky.” He closed the door and locked it, then scooped her up in his arms.

  “What are you doing? I can walk. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

  “Shh! It’s late. People are sleeping.”

  “Billy!” she whispered loudly. “Put me down!” He kept walking, and when he started for the stairs, she began squirming. “I mean it! You’re getting too old for this.”

  He halted. “You tell me I’m too old again, and I will drop you. On purpose.”

  “You’re probably gonna drop me anyway. Please put me down. I can walk. You’re gonna get a hernia.”

  “Seriously. Be quiet.”

  He picked his way up the outdoor stairs and turned down a long walkway.

  “Where are we?” she asked again, craning her neck.

  At the last door, he squatted low enough to slip the key card into the lock. He pushed the door open and stepped inside.

  She was silent as she scanned the room. He waited for her reaction. True, the place had changed, but the layout was the same. She looked at the bed, covered with rose petals, then the bathroom, and then at him. There was a champagne bucket on a stand and in it, a bottle was chilling. On the bedside table was a crystal bowl of strawberries, and in the corner, his Martin guitar rested on its stand. She blinked several times, trying to take it all in.

  “Well, Chatty Katie, cat got your tongue?”

  “This isn’t . . . Is it?”

  “Is it what?” A smile spread over his face.

  “It can’t be.”

  “Can’t be what?” he asked, playing dumb.

  “Put me down.” She wiggled so much that he had to put her down to keep from dropping her. As soon as her feet touched the floor, she darted out onto the balcony and peered down at the parking lot.

  “Are we in Bound Brook?”

  “Twenty-five years ago tonight, I fell in love with you right in this room.” He pressed a soft kiss on her lips. “Happy anniversary.”

  She kissed him back, then tugged him to the end of the balcony. “Look over there.” She pointed. “Just beyond that silver Mercury.”

  “What about it?”

  “That’s where I fell in love with you. Lying in a snow bank.” She threw her arms around his neck.

  “If I could have filled the parking lot with snow, I would have done it.”

  She snuggled up against him. “And I believe you.”

  “It’s pretty cold,” he said, watching his breath curl into the night. “Maybe it will snow after all.”

  “Wouldn’t that be something?”

  He led her back into the room.

  “Thirsty?” he asked, opening the bottle of sparkling cider.

  She nodded. “How’d you do this? You already had the key.”

  “C.J. helped. This place—it’s still a rat trap, so he got all new bedding. And his niece lives nearby. She took care of the finishing touches.”

  Kate sat down on the edge of the bed, wide awake now, and bounced up and down. “Might be the same mattress.”

  “I don’t care. I wanted to be here with you. In a way, it’s like a fresh start. I can’t erase any of the bad things, but I can promise to do my best to see that there aren’t any more.”

  He handed her a glass of cider and touched the rim with his own.

  “Here’s to new beginnings.”

  Billy snatched his keys off the dresser and patted his coat pocket. The small box was still there, just as it had been the last two times he’d checked.

  They’d slept until well past noon, and after a leisurely breakfast at the Somerset Diner, they spent the rest of the afternoon retracing their steps around the Rutgers campus before heading back to the motel to get ready for dinner.

  “Where are we going?” Kate asked as he helped her into her jacket.

&nbs
p; “Where do you think?”

  She gave him a playful smile. “Pub burger and a wedge salad?”

  “Anything for you, babe.”

  Kildare’s Pub had changed over the last twenty-five years. The layout was different, and the section where they sat all those years ago was gone. They took a seat by the stage, which was empty on a Monday night. The jukebox played in the background, but not nearly as loudly as it had the night they’d met.

  They were waiting for their burgers, splitting an appetizer of onion rings and sipping unsweetened ice teas, when Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” came on the jukebox.

  “Dance with me,” Billy said, holding out his hand.

  The restaurant was quiet, the dance floor empty as he lead Kate out onto the floor. They’d danced a thousand times since the night they’d met, but the memories of that first dance were as strong as if it had been just last week. He pulled her close, slipping his fingers beneath the hem of her blouse and trailing them in lazy circles against her lower back. When the song ended, he kissed her as if they were the only two people in the room.

  The waitress arrived with their dinner as they returned to their table.

  “Perfect timing,” Kate said, scooting closer to the table and dropping her napkin into her lap.

  As she reached for her burger, he took her hand.

  “Do you remember coming here that Sunday night before I brought you back to your dorm?”

  “Of course I do. You were flirting with the waitress.”

  He gave her a sly smile and shook his head. “No, she was flirting with me. Anyway, I asked where you wanted to go eat, and when we decided to come here, you said something about returning to the scene of the crime.”

  She gave him an apologetic shrug. “I don’t really remember.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I thought since we were returning to the scene of the crime—again—it would be a good place to give you this.” He pulled the small red leather box out of his pocket and slid it across the table.

  She eyed him suspiciously. “What’s this?”

  “Open it.” No matter how hard he struggled to appear nonchalant, he couldn’t control the grin spreading across his face.

  She flipped open the lid and gasped.

  Either somebody had upped the bass on the jukebox, or his heart was beating loud enough for him to hear. “Like it?”

  Kate would have never picked out anything like this for herself, but he couldn’t help it. Set in platinum, a two-carat diamond nestled between two halos of smaller round diamonds. Two rectangular baguettes sat on either side, surrounded by smaller round diamonds, which encircled the rest of the ring. It had cost him a small fortune, but he didn’t care.

  “Oh my god.” Her voice was barely audible.

  “Katie.”

  She gaped at him. “Oh my god.”

  “You said that.”

  “Is it real?”

  He laughed and the tightness in his chest began to subside. “Of course it’s real. I know it’s over the top, but I wanted something to show you and anyone who saw it how much you mean to me, how much I love you.”

  Her hands were shaking so hard he felt sure she would drop it. He took the box and removed the ring. She held out her left hand, stretching her fingers, and allowed him to slip it into place.

  “Oh my god.”

  He was grinning like a fool, but he couldn’t help it. “Since I can’t get anything else out of you, I’ll assume you like it.”

  Her eyes were the size of quarters. She lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers, watching the light dance on the multifaceted stones.

  “I probably should’ve waited until you’d finished your hamburger.” He took a massive bite of his own. “It’s going to get cold.”

  She nodded in agreement but continued to stare at the ring. When she finally looked up, her eyes glistening.

  “This is the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.” She leaned across the table and kissed him. She pressed her hand against her heart. “I love it, and I love you.”

  He watched as she plunked back into her seat and dove into her burger with relish, pausing every now and then to gaze at her finger and flash him a smile.

  “When you’re done, I’d like to head back to the motel,” she said, leaving little more than a couple of bites of her burger and a few lettuce leaves. “Unless, of course, you had something else planned.”

  “Whatever you want. We can go back to the motel.”

  She gave him a sly smile. “Good. I’d love to see how this looks on me naked.” She gave him a coy smile and batted her eyes.

  They couldn’t get back to the motel soon enough, as far as he was concerned. “Check, please.”

  He helped her slip into her coat.

  “You know, it’s not fair,” she said. “I don’t have anything for you.”

  He brushed his lips against her ear. “Weren’t you planning on thanking me later?”

  She giggled. “Multiple times.”

  He pulled a hundred-dollar bill from his wallet and tossed it onto the table.

  “Then the hell with the check. Let’s go.”

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  The flight was uneventful other than dealing with the overabundance of luggage Rhiannon had insisted they bring, which was why Doug had wanted to drive. As usual, he’d been overruled.

  “You’ve been awfully quiet,” he said, glancing at his wife as they sailed up the Maine Turnpike from Portland. “What’s wrong?”

  Rhiannon looked up from her phone. “What do you mean what’s wrong? These first holidays without someone are always the hardest.” She’d meant to be snarky, but he could hear the underlying pain in her voice. He also knew her well enough to know she was trying not to cry.

  “She’s not dead, you know.”

  “Might as well be.” She turned her head and stared out the window.

  He reached across the console, picked up her hand and squeezed it. There wasn’t much more to say that he hadn’t said in the past year. None of it mattered now. He could say whatever he wanted; he couldn’t fix it.

  She let out a long sigh. “I think I know why my dad wants us all together. I think Devin knows something too, although he wouldn’t tell me anything.”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “When he called to tell me he was driving up yesterday, he said something like ‘Whatever happens, don’t freak out.’ I asked him what the hell that was supposed to mean. He skirted the question, then said he wasn’t sure but he figured Dad wanted us to come up for some reason.”

  “Maybe your dad just wants to spend the holiday together as a family.”

  She glared at him as if he were an idiot. It was his turn to sigh. He forged ahead nevertheless.

  “You’re reading too much into it. It’s probably just that it’s the holiday and he’s got that benefit Saturday, and he wanted his family with him. Nothing more.”

  “I think . . .”

  He could hear the hitch in her breath as she struggled to continue.

  “I think he’s found someone else.”

  Shocked, he glanced over in time to see a fat tear roll out from behind her sunglasses. She swiped at it angrily.

  “Why would you think that?” He felt almost as disjointed as she seemed.

  “C’mon, Doug. It’s been a year. Is he supposed to wait forever? Obviously she’s moved on. Or worse.”

  “What do you mean, worse?”

  “Worse, like she can’t get better. Like there’s no helping her. That’s possible, you know. Didn’t you ever think that? Maybe she’s gotten worse and Tom hasn’t told us. Who knows? Maybe he’s told my dad, and that’s what he wants to tell us, that my mother is so out of it she doesn’t even know who we are anymore. Or maybe he’s found someone new, and he’s ready to move on.”

  She dropped her phone into her Louis Vuitton tote. “Oh god!” she squeaked. “What if she’s there? What if he wants us to meet his new girlfriend?”

 
; New girlfriend? No way. Despite Kate being gone for almost a year, he couldn’t imagine Billy giving up. For one thing, he was the most stubborn man Doug had ever known.

  “Your father has never been my idea of the perfect husband, but when it comes to your mother . . . I know it’s a long time. I guess I’ve just pictured the two of them on hold somehow.”

  “Well, people don’t stay on hold forever. What would you do?” She twisted in her seat. “If I decided one day I couldn’t take it anymore and just disappeared, how long would you wait for me to decide if I wanted to come back?”

  To be honest, it wasn’t the first time he’d thought about that over the past year.

  They had just exited the Maine Turnpike. He drove through the toll booth, then eased the car onto the shoulder and shifted into park. He gently removed her sunglasses and looked into her red-rimmed pale blue eyes. “Forever. I’d wait for you forever, because I love you. And I wouldn’t expect any less of your father.”

  Her face crumpled in on itself. He unbuckled his seat belt and jumped out of the car. Racing around to the other side, he opened Rhiannon’s door, reached in, and held her while she cried. He prayed the twins wouldn’t wake. When their mother cried, they usually cried as well, and he didn’t think he could manage all three of them in tears right now.

  But he meant what he’d said. He’d often caught Billy showing the twins Kate’s picture and telling them stories about their Nonna, telling them how much she loved them. No way had that man given up.

  But still, a year was a long time.

  He rocked Rhiannon until the little gasps had faded away.

  “You okay now?”

  She dug in her purse for a tissue. “I guess I’m as good as I’m gonna be.”

  “That’s pretty amazing, as far as I’m concerned.”

  She laughed and gave him a gentle shove. “All right, let’s not push it.”

  He climbed back in on his side and buckled up. “We should be there in a few minutes. Are you ready, or do you want me to drive around a little?”

  “Nah, let’s just get it over with.”

  Chapter Fifty-Six