Pleasures Untold

by Lisa Sanchez

  ***

  “I don’t think I can go in,” I said, fighting back tears. I stood in front of Taylor’s room, palms sweaty, heart aching. “If I don’t go in, if I don’t see her empty room, it’ll almost feel like she isn’t gone. God, Xan…I miss her. I still expect her to come waltzing around the corner with a mouth full of food and a goofy grin on her face.” I let my hand trace down the smooth wooden surface of her door before pounding on it with my fists and cursing. “God! Where is she? She’s gone, and it’s all my fault!” I turned, sliding down the length of the door, and came to a crying heap on the floor.

  Kneeling down in front of me, Xan brushed my hair out of my eyes and wiped away my tears with the soft pad of his thumb. “Carino, sweetheart. I don’t think it’s a matter of where she is as opposed to when she is.” He looked down on me with warm, reassuring eyes.

  I was pretty sure Xan was right. From the brief conversation Lucian had with Gabriel, I’d come to the conclusion that he’d sent her back, somewhere in time. I just had no idea where or when. Looking up at Xan, I was pretty sure he had a good idea where she was.

  I swiped at my tears and took a deep breath. “Xan. If you think you know where Taylor is, you have to tell me. Maybe we can help her.”

  He shook his head vehemently. “Not a chance, mi amor. I’m certain Lucian sent her back to the Salem witch trials.”

  My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as I stared up at him. “The Salem witch trials? Why? Why would he send her there?”

  Xan ran his hands up and down the length of my arms before continuing on. “Taylor bore an incredible likeness to Faythe Ellwood, the only woman Gabriel has ever loved. She died during the trials, accused of witchcraft.” He leveled a harsh stare at me. “She was hanged.”

  My mouth dropped in horror.

  Xan pressed his lips together. “Si, mi amor. That’s an appropriate reaction. Do you understand why there is no way I’m letting you go back to that time? You just gained your freedom from Lucian. I refuse to let you be hunted again, and by an angry mob no less.”

  Anger coursed through my veins. I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing. Taylor was stuck in a different century, and it was all my fault. I lifted my hands up only to drop them seconds later in frustration. “We can’t just leave her there. She’s all alone. We have to do something!”

  Xan shook his head. “It takes a great deal of power to go back in time, mi amor. Power you haven’t acquired yet. Your abilities are still growing, maturing, and I don’t have the power to send us both back. Besides, she’s not alone, carino. Gabriel is with her. He’ll keep her safe and bring her back. He’s not going to lose her twice.”

  ***

  I spent the following few days helping Jessica. Devastated over the loss of her mother, Karen, she spent the majority of her time helping her father with the funeral arrangements. My heart ached for the two of them. Any loss of family was bad, but the death of a loved one over the holidays stung even more. Christmas would never be the same for them.

  I thought about our own undecorated Christmas tree. Taylor had insisted we purchase the largest Douglas fir we could find, declaring that fat trees were more festive than tall, skinny trees. With her lost in another time and Jessica mourning the loss of her mother, the holiday seemed pointless and empty.

  “Do you need any help?” I asked, watching Jessica struggle with the clasp of the necklace she was trying to put on. Karen’s funeral was in an hour, and we were running behind.

  Dressed in a simple black dress with her hair pulled back from her face, Jessica looked lovely, despite the dark circles that had taken up permanent residence beneath her eyes. She hadn’t been sleeping well since the battle. Plagued with nightmares, I heard her frightened screams through the thin walls of the apartment, along with strange mumbling throughout the night. The trauma over the situation was obviously coming out by way of night terrors and sleep-talking.

  She glanced over her shoulder at me and offered up a weak smile. It didn’t reach her eyes. “Oh. Hey, Martha. Sure. Thank you.”

  I crossed the room and came up behind her. I took the metal chain and clasp in my fingers, connecting what she could not. Seizing the small bit of courage I had left, I grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around to face me.

  “Jess, I — ” There was a huge lump in my throat, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get the words out. How do you tell someone you’re sorry about the death of their mother when you knew it was your fault she’d died?

  I held up my finger as I looked down at my feet, signaling her that I needed a minute to pull my shit together. I could do this. I could apologize, even though the words would mean nothing. I owed her that and so much more. I owed her my life. Pull it together, Martha!

  After sucking in a deep breath, I tried again. “I know what it feels like to lose someone you love, and I — ” I covered my mouth to hold back the sob that threatened to emerge. My eyes clouded over with tears. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and looked into her worn, tired eyes. “I never meant for you to experience that kind of pain. To never be able to see you mother again is the worst thing I — ”

  “But I have seen her,” she said, cutting me off. A slow smile crossed her face, and for a brief moment there was a spark in her brilliant blue eyes.

  I stared at her in shock. “What did you just say?” I was pretty sure I’d heard her say she’d seen her mother…after she died. Either sleep deprivation was doing wacky things to her head and causing her to hallucinate, or she’d gone through some sort of change after being poisoned and drinking Xan’s blood. I had yet to tell her she was going to live to the ripe old age of Methuselah.

  “I’ve seen my mother.” She walked over to her bed and sat down, taking a deep breath and blowing it out before speaking again. “I’ve seen her every night since she died.”

  Holy…whoa. I stared at her intently, urging her with my eyes to go on.

  She fiddled with the hem of her dress before smoothing her hands over the fabric. “At first I thought I’d lost my flipping mind. I thought maybe my mind couldn’t deal with the sadness, so my brain…I don’t know…manifested this image of my mother so I could cope.” She pegged me with a serious stare. “But now I know different. I know she was really here, and I know I’m not crazy.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think you’re crazy.” I really didn’t. Having spent a better portion of my life fighting off the undead and creatures of the night, I’d learned early on to keep an open mind. The impossible was almost always possible.

  Her body seemed to ease at my words and she blew out a breath. “Good. Your mother said you’d believe me.”

  A chill shot up my spine, and the air in my lungs came whooshing out in one quick rush. Did she just say… “My — my mother?” My eyes searched Jessica’s face for any sign that she might be playing with me, but I saw only sincerity in her eyes. God, could it be true? “You’ve seen my mother?”

  Jessica’s eyes softened briefly, the haunted, vacant look gone for the time being. “Yes, and your grandmother too. Oh, my God, Martha. Breathe!” she shouted in alarm and tugged on the long sleeve of my black dress, pulling me to sit down beside her. She took hold of my hands and held them in hers, squeezing tight. “It’s been hard for them. You know — watching over you but not being able to do anything to help. They’re proud of you, Martha. So proud. And they wanted me to tell you.”

  I had no words. My mother, my grandmother, had been watching over me — and they were proud of what they saw. I sat motionless like a silent idiot, unable to speak or form a coherent sentence.

  “They also approve of McVampy,” she said, giving my hand another squeeze. “I don’t know what happened, or what it was that changed me. Maybe it was the curse or maybe it was Xan’s blood — I don’t know. All I know is — I can see the dead, and as scary and totally creepy as that shit is, it lets me see
my mother and, for that, I am eternally grateful.”

  I shook my head and smiled as I pulled her in for a tight hug. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve such a wonderful friend. Not only had she accepted my immense otherworldly baggage, but she’d also taken on her strange new ability with a strength and chutzpah that amazed me. Jessica truly was one of a kind.

  ***

  “You okay, Peanut?” My great-grandmother rubbed circles into my back as I stood, staring at the newly turned earth in front of Karen’s headstone. The church ceremony had been beautiful and touching, the gravesite observance somber. The cold weather and promise of warm beverages and food at Jessica’s parents’ home made for a quick exit by most of the guests. I’d opted to hang back and wait for Xan. I could feel the setting sun on my back and knew it wouldn’t be long before he’d be at my side, filling me with strength and comfort.

  “Yeah,” I said, turning to her and smiling. I pulled her into a tight hug. I buried my face into her long silvery hair and breathed deeply, the smell of fresh baked cookies filling my senses, making me feel like a child again. The fact that she stood next to me, living, breathing, was a pure miracle, and I had Xan to thank for it.

  She’d had — literally — one foot in the grave the night we’d battled Lucian, and I was sure we were too late when Xan fed her from his vein. But she was strong and stubborn and completely unwilling to go quietly into the night. Her tenacity combined with Xan’s healing blood pulled her through, and I thanked my lucky stars for her every day.

  I ran my hands up and down her back before giving her one final squeeze and pulling away. “Yeah, Grandma, I’m good. I’m just — ”

  The strong, familiar tugging sensation I felt whenever Xan was present pulled at my insides. I smiled as a warm pair of arms wrapped around me. With my eyes closed, I breathed in the scent of pine and ocean. I smiled before turning in his arms and looking up into the warm, brown eyes of the vampire I loved.

  “I’ll leave you two love-birds alone,” my grandmother said and disappeared with a flash of light. I loved my great-grandma. She was smart, and she knew when to make herself scarce.

  “Thinking?” Xan said, finishing my sentence for me. “Imagining all the possibilities life has to offer now that you are free?”

  I smiled. “Something like that.” I placed my hand on the smooth skin of his warm cheek, and I reached up to kiss him. “Because when I’m with you — I feel like anything is possible. I love you, Xan.”

  He captured my lips in his once again, the sharp points of his fangs grazing the flesh of my lower lip. “And I you, carino. And I you.”

  Acknowledgments

  First and foremost, I’d like to thank God, for without whom I’d be nothing.

  To my husband, Ryan, and my daughters, Kendall, Taryn, and Irelynn: I love you dearly. Thank you for putting up with a wife and mother who’s literally attached to her laptop. You are my light and my very reason for being.

  To my ladies of The SC, Deanna, Karen, and Edie: Without you this book would not be. Literally. Not only are you supportive friends, you’re a fountain of laughter, soft shoulders to cry on, and it was mad fun writing you into the book. Woot!

  To my critique partners, Kaiti and Kristin: Big, fat, juicy kisses. Mwah! Thank you for reading my pages over and over … and over again. You rock my socks!

  And lastly, to the girls of The SC, Kendall, Jessica, Emily, Megan, Jordan, Taryn, Haley, and Irelynn: You girls are my inspiration. You bring me joy, you spark my muse, and I’m so proud of each of you. Mwah! Thank you.

  About the Author

  When it comes to describing this author’s writing style, national bestselling author Catherine Spangler describes Lisa Sanchez as, “sharp-witted, humorous and snappy . . . she keeps the action moving.” Quite high praise from a fellow author, and very well deserved. Lisa’s lifelong love of writing, coupled with her ability to weave together an intricate and compelling story has led to the release of her first published novel, Eve of Samhain.

  In her role as a busy stay-at-home and self-proclaimed “cheer mom,” on any given day Lisa wears a number of different hats. From taxi driver to chef, nurse to seamstress, laundry-woman to enforcer, and, of course, writer, Lisa manages to keep everything together all while caring for her husband and three children. The few spare moments left in her day are usually spent reading or writing, and if she’s really lucky, possibly even catching up on some much needed sleep.

  Lisa and her family currently reside in Tracy, California.