Her Mistaken Dream

by Brenda Barrett

  She looked down at Howard's scrawly handwriting. She had obviously guessed wrong. She wouldn't let this spoil her morning, though. She had a ton of things to do. Casey was getting married next week. That was the main feature for the August issue and then they needed twelve other stories to fill the issue.

  She had some ideas. Since Casey and Luca's wedding would be the main event, they could do stories on weddings. Best places to get married in Jamaica, wedding planner or not. She jotted down her ideas. She would have to meet her staff and discuss and assign them tasks. They had only a few days to come up with a magazine, and they had to make it good because she wanted Lux Women to work.

  *****

  Caitlin was in the middle of a discussion with her team—Charles the photographer, Jenny the main editor, Brian her IT guy and jack of all trades, and two staff writers—in the small conference room when the door was pushed open abruptly. Howard stood in the doorway, his bulk filling up the space.

  "Oh there you are," he said in his best business sucking-up voice. "We are giving Mr. Taylor a tour of the place. He stopped by unexpectedly."

  And it was making Howard jittery, Caitlin could see, because he was practically twitching with it. She tried to look around Howard to see Todd Taylor in the flesh but had to wait a while because Howard had turned around and was talking to him.

  When he moved aside, Todd stood in the doorway.

  Jenny gasped first—or was it her? Caitlin hoped it wasn't her but she had to check herself and make sure that her mouth was not hanging open.

  The guy was imposing. He had presence. He filled up a room. He was tall. Somehow she hadn't imagined that he would be that tall or well muscled in real life. Her dreams hadn't done him nearly enough justice. She remembered reading somewhere that he had played basketball professionally in the States.

  I know your every feature by heart, she thought uncomfortably. She had drawn them over and over through the years. His almond-shaped eyes, one of them slanted a little bit to the right than the other: It was not noticeable to the naked eye or just staring at him casually, but she knew it was there because she had studied those features. His lips were full and slightly pink and his eyebrows thick and level.

  He was staring at her too. He was probably wondering who she was. Howard had not made any introductions; he was just standing behind Todd Taylor, a little awestruck look on his face, which was saying something because Howard rubbed shoulders with the leading industry men in his role as editor in chief of Lux Magazine.

  She stood up hastily; maybe she had stayed sitting too long and Howard fully expected her to do the introductions. She was, after all, the head of this division.

  "Umm," she cleared her throat. "Mr. Taylor."

  She walked to the door of the room because he hadn't moved from there. She held out her hand for a handshake and he took it briefly.

  "Miss Denvers." He nodded at her.

  "This is the Lux Women team." She turned to her staff sitting around the table. She introduced everybody and he went over to the table and shook their hands, charming them with his smile and his self-assured way of moving.

  He turned to her after the introductions.

  "So Miss Denvers, this is your very first day as the head of a new magazine. How does it feel?"

  "It's…er...exciting and scary," Caitlin said honestly. Then she wondered if she should have said scary. She didn't want to seem as if she was not up for the challenge.

  Todd grinned. "That's understandable. I wish you guys well.” He turned to the group and gave them a little nod.

  "Thank you," everybody murmured and beamed.

  "I hear that I am the main event for November," Todd said, looking at her again.

  "Yes, yes." Caitlin nodded, feeling awkward and nervous. He was her dream in the flesh; she was a mass of mixed feelings.

  She felt like she knew him well, and then there was the thought that this guy was a total stranger. A total stranger who had allegedly killed his wife...and he was her boss.

  "I was going to call you about that today." She cleared her throat. Her voice trembled a little. She didn't want to sound nervous but her voice was betraying her.

  He smiled and his dimple appeared. It should be cute on him but instead it gave him a rakish air. She knew that dimple. She dreamt about that dimple. She had seen that dimple and this particular smile so many times in her subconscious.

  "Okay then. No need to call today," Todd said. "I am available for lunch at the Pegasus poolside." He looked at his watch. "See you at one. That's in an hour. Will that give you enough time to wrap up here?"

  "Yes." Caitlin nodded. "Yes, it will."

  He walked out and closed the door. Jenny was the first to speak. "You okay?"

  Caitlin reached for her chair and sank down into it.

  "I am not sure." Caitlin looked at them, feeling dazed.

  She ended the meeting shortly after that and sat in the chair long after they left, trying to find some equilibrium. Seeing her dreams happening or coming to life had always caused her some amount of anxiety and given her a sense of the surreal. She had never wanted to have dreams and to be fair, she hadn't had one since she was sixteen.

  He was the last person she had dreamt about.

  She felt strange now. She had actually seen him in the flesh, talked to him, and she was going to have lunch with him.

  What did this all mean? She couldn't even wrap her mind around the irony of the whole situation.

  She made a mental note to find her old notebook. She had written down her dreams of Todd because she didn't want to forget them. She had fueled her dream guy theory with them through the years. She also needed to find her drawings of him. She had lovingly recreated his face through the years and her images were spot on. Well, not exactly; he looked much better in person.

  She cupped her face. She felt warm all over. She got up hastily and headed for the water cooler.

  *****

  He was waiting for her when she showed up at the hotel, even though she arrived early. It was 12:55. He was sitting in the restaurant alone, looking over some papers. He looked up as if he had sensed her and then smiled. There was a waiter who was heading for her but when he saw that Todd Taylor had recognized that she was around he had faded back into the restaurant.

  He got up and pulled her chair for her and Caitlin sat down, inhaling a whiff of his cologne. Sandalwood. It wasn't a familiar scent but once more she felt an unsettling sense of déjà vu.

  "The restaurant is empty," she said, looking around and then back at him.

  "I know." He smiled. "We are the lunch time crowd."

  Caitlin smiled. "So you like your privacy and can empty restaurants for it?"

  "Something like that." Todd put away his papers and then stared at her silently for a long time.

  Caitlin was on the verge of squirming. She should say something.

  "Mr. Taylor." She cleared her throat.

  "Todd," he corrected her. He still had that steady, serious look to him. "You are going to call me Todd and I’ll call you Caitlin. Makes it easier for us to communicate without the stiff formality between us. Since you are going to be writing an article about me that would be best, wouldn't it?"

  "Okay." Caitlin swallowed nervously. "Todd." She had called him Todd in her head anyway.

  "There is no need to get nervous, Caitlin," he said wryly. "I won't eat you...or kill you," he tacked on recklessly and watched for her a reaction.

  Caitlin barely repressed a shudder and Todd laughed.

  "I thought I should bring it up and get it out of the way," he said. "It is, after all, the elephant in the room. You are wondering if I did it."

  "Did you?" Caitlin asked, forgetting her nervousness.

  "In a way, I would say yes," he answered without fanfare.

  Caitlin blinked. "You did?"

  "Yes," he said again. "Now it's my turn to question you. What do you know about it?"

  "Well, I...er..." Caitlin tried to remember what
she read about him in the articles. Most of it had been speculation and conjecture but most people seemed to settle on the scenario that he was caught with her blood on his hands and shirt and the murder weapon in his hand.

  He had killed her in the kitchen of their mansion in Jacks Hill after a night of intense quarreling.

  "You stabbed her once in the chest," Caitlin said, her lips trembling slightly, "with a long butcher knife. She bled to death."

  "But Rita died long before that," Todd said calmly, "at least the Rita I knew."

  Caitlin inhaled shakily. "So are you saying that you didn't literally kill her but only figuratively?"

  Todd laughed. "Would that make you feel less afraid of me?"

  "It would make me less apprehensive, yes," Caitlin said cautiously. She waited for him to confirm that he was in fact talking about a figurative killing of his wife but he didn't.

  Todd leaned back in his chair and snapped his fingers. The waiter came running from a corner of the room, handed them menus and then melted back into the background.

  Caitlin perused the menu and saw jerk chicken. She had had that yesterday with her sisters but she could never get enough jerk chicken.

  And then she thought how innocuous—she was sitting across from him! He had just admitted that he killed his wife and she was thinking about jerk chicken. She shouldn't have an appetite. She should get away from here fast. She should ask God what kind of trick he was playing with her head.

  "You don't have to be apprehensive or afraid of me, Caitlin," he said when the waiter left. "Never."

  She cleared her throat. He said it so definitively and his eyes said that he meant it. She was trying so hard to look at him with a businesslike air about her but when her eyes connected with his, she lowered them quickly.

  His eyes were like magnets; they were drawing her in, reminding her that she had seen these very eyes before in her dreams. But he had just admitted to killing his wife!

  "Tell me about you," Todd said. "You are going to be spending a lot of your time quizzing me. I want to know about you too…level the playing field a bit."

  Caitlin didn't know what to tell him. He seemed normal and charming, so very likeable and familiar. It was eerie how familiar he felt.

  She relaxed in her chair slightly. "There is nothing much to tell. I started working part-time at Lux two years ago. I only recently got a full time position."

  "And now you are features editor," Todd said. "That is huge for you, isn't it?"

  "Yes." Caitlin nodded. "Unfortunately, I think I got the job because of my connections."

  Todd laughed. "And you are bemoaning this?"

  "Well," Caitlin's eyes lit up, "I had this vision of working myself up the ranks. If Lux Women doesn't take off I am sure I won’t have a job anymore."

  Todd raised an eyebrow at her. "So make it work."

  "I will." Caitlin nodded. "I definitely will."

  "I got my first job because of connections too," Todd said. "My parents owned an electronics store. I worked there for years. When they opened their first branch I was made the manager. Connections aren't bad. It is proving yourself to be personally up to the task that is important."

  "So are your parents still alive?" Caitlin asked. There was precious little information about him apart from his wife's murder.

  "Yes. They still operate their store in Mandeville, where I am from."

  "You have brothers and sisters?" Caitlin asked.

  Todd smiled. "I see now that you have conquered the fear, the journalist is curious?"

  The woman was curious, Caitlin realized. Not the journalist. She hadn't thought about him in terms of a story. She had been thinking about him as her dream guy. She was so curious about him she could burst.

  She had to keep herself in check. She was not handling the separation of dream and reality too well.

  "I have two siblings," Todd said, "Johnson and Scott. They are younger than I."

  "How is your relationship with them?" Caitlin asked.

  "We are good. Johnson is a carpenter. He's extremely good at it. Scott runs my businesses in Cayman. We get together at home on Christmas. We catch up on each other's lives. I talk to Scott all the time obviously because we are in business together."

  "Do either of them look like you?" Caitlin asked hopefully. Maybe she hadn't been dreaming about Todd; maybe it was one of his brothers.

  Todd chuckled. "No. Well, Johnson looks more like me but... why do you ask?"

  "Nothing," Caitlin said, subsiding in her chair as the waiter brought their food.

  "Secrets. Somehow I didn't expect that." Todd raised his brow at her. "All of a sudden you look guarded."

  "I really can't tell you why I asked." Caitlin laughed uncomfortably. "It's just... do you have a picture of Johnson?"

  Todd was curious; she could see that. He was looking at her strangely but he whipped out his phone anyway and scrolled through his pictures and then handed it to her. "The one on the left is Scott. He's thirty…married with two children. The one on the left is Johnson, twenty-nine, still single but engaged to a nice girl."

  Caitlin looked them over. Yes, Johnson had a slight resemblance to him but he wasn't the dream guy. She dutifully handed back the phone to Todd. Without a doubt Todd was the one she dreamt up.

  "I wasn't seeking a boyfriend or anything like that," she said sheepishly, tucking into her food.

  Todd smiled. "I doubt that you would have to be seeking boyfriends. I am sure that they come knocking at your door."

  Caitlin grimaced. "Actually, I discourage guys knocking on my door."

  "Why?" Todd asked. He hadn't touched his food; his whole attention was on her now.

  Caitlin wished she hadn't blurted out that and that she hadn't asked to see his brother’s photo. She couldn't explain that her reason for not having a boyfriend yet was because she had thought that he was the one she was supposed to be waiting for.

  He'd think she was putting him on. He’d think she was crazy. She was going to be twenty-two in October and no modern woman had ever been so repressed. At least none that she knew of.

  Even in the singles club at church she was considered odd. She had happily waited for her dream guy for years, spurning all relationships with glee because she knew that her dream about him being with the one for her would come true. It just had to, except that it hadn't. He wasn't the one.

  She opened her mouth to explain her dilemma to Todd but then she snapped it shut.

  "No, tell me," Todd said softly. "Talk to me. Did somebody hurt you in the past?"

  "No. No," Caitlin said hurriedly, "nothing like that. This is going to sound silly. Really silly, but I am... er... was... er… something of a dreamer when I was younger. I dreamt things and they came true."

  "Oh," Todd said. "Why wouldn't I believe that?"

  "It's just that I dreamt about the guy I was going to marry. I knew with a surety that he was the man for me so I didn't have to date like everyone else. I just waited for him like God would want me to."

  Todd stared at her long and hard, as if he was sure she wasn’t going to answer his next question.

  "Who is he?" he finally asked, his voice harsh and raspy.

  "It doesn't matter now," Caitlin sighed. "It was a mistaken dream. My first and only mistaken dream."

  "You look like it is the end of the world," Todd said, almost relieved. He was happy that Caitlin didn't realize how jittery he was getting when she spoke about waiting for her dream guy. He didn't want any competition, especially from some phantom guy in her imagination. He modulated his voice to reassuring tones. "Sometimes things don't happen the way we dream them, at least for ordinary people like me."

  "I know. I keep telling myself that." Caitlin realized belatedly that the conversation was not professional at all. He was the one who was quizzing her.

  "Tell me about him." Todd leaned back in his chair. His food was all but forgotten and he wanted to torture himself a bit. "Tell me about the dream guy."

>   "I can't talk about him right now." Caitlin pushed away her plate. The food was good—not up to Jerk Pit’s standards, but still good. She sat up straighter. "This lunch should be about me getting to know you better."

  Todd shook his head. "Actually, it is about me getting to know you better. I can't trust you to write an article about me without knowing who is going to write it. I have had too much conjecture and random stuff printed about me. I need to be able to trust you to write my story or else it's a no go."

  "I am still not going to tell you about the dream guy. I shouldn't have mentioned it," Caitlin said, sipping her drink.

  "Then tell me about the dreams," Todd insisted.

  "I have to get back to the office," Caitlin said, glancing at her watch. "We have an August deadline, you know. In two weeks, both print and Internet."

  Todd chuckled. "Okay. I get it. You don't want to talk about the dreams."

  "No seriously, I need to go," Caitlin said. "And yes, I don't want to talk about it." She paused. "Well, maybe another time."

  "Next time then." Todd looked at her speculatively, "I have a mixer for my top executives on Thursday. I would like for you to come. It will be after six. I'll send my driver to get you."

  "I'll be at the office," Caitlin said.

  He got up and smiled at her. "Until Thursday then, Caitlin. It was nice to see you today."

  Chapter Five

  It was nice to see you today. The one statement kept running around in Caitlin’s head. He didn't say meet you, he said see you. And he had said it with such familiarity. He couldn't have any idea that he was the guy she dreamt about, could he? Not unless he was clairvoyant.

  She stepped into the apartment at seven. She had carried work home. Her team had agreed to put a 'How do you know that he is the one' quiz in the magazine. She was going to have to put the quiz together, though she felt exhausted.