Being Jane: A New Adult Erotic Romance: Fountain of Love

by Quinn, Arabella

  I broke our kiss and sat up, tugging off my shirt. I heard her whimper of frustration and chuckled to myself. It made me feel good to know that she wanted me. That I made her feel good. She had never given me any indication before that she felt anything but bored when we were having sex. Her unrestrained response was so damn sexy. I wanted to make her scream with pleasure and I had a few tricks up my sleeve…

  I leaned down and tugged at her shirt. It slid off easily and that was strange. Usually it was so awkward, because she wore the tiniest shirts that were impossible to peel off. But this one was huge and baggy. I didn’t remember her wearing such a bulky shirt earlier, but whatever. I reached around her back, unhooked her bra and tossed it aside.

  But, when I laid down next to her and caressed her breasts, I immediately knew something was wrong. Her breasts thrust against my hands, demanding more, but I froze. They were huge. More than a handful. Not Glenna.

  I felt her nipples puckering under my palms as she wriggled against my body panting. Even as my body raged with passion, my mind was reeling. This wasn’t my girlfriend. I rolled onto my side, away from her tempting body and over to where I knew a small table with a lamp was situated. I fumbled for the knob and finally got the lamp to turn on. A warm glow emanated from the old-school, low wattage light bulb.

  My eyes fixated on the girl next to me. Well, on her breasts, that is. Her arm immediately flew up to shield her eyes from the dim glow and that pose only served to highlight her voluptuous chest. I feasted on how glorious she looked. I felt the ache in my cock grow impossibly tighter as I stared at her perfect round breasts topped with pink perky nipples. So fucking beautiful.

  I tore my eyes away and forced them to look at her face. Her hair was half pulled out of its ponytail and spilling all over the pillow. Her eyes were slitted and rolling around in her head. She sounded groggy, “Is it morning? Is my dream over already?”

  It was Jane Brown. And she was as drunk as a skunk.

  My cock was practically pulsing with lust as I looked down at her. “What are you dreaming about?”

  Her eyes blinked sleepily. “Mmmm. Someone was kissing me. Felt so good.” Her eyebrows rose in sleepy surprise. “And it was you! Dusty Hamilton. And you look hot without a shirt on.”

  Damn. I couldn’t help but smile back at her.

  She frowned. “And you should take your pants off, too. This is my dream. It should be perfect.”

  Jesus. I wanted to rip my pants off and sink between her thighs, right then and there. But it wasn’t right. She didn’t know what she was talking about. She was drunk. “Jane, you’re not dreaming –”

  She scrunched her brows. “Don’t ruin it. You shouldn’t be talking so much. You should be kissing me and touching me some more.”

  She reached up and pulled me into her arms. I felt her breasts pressing against my bare chest and I couldn’t resist. I kissed her again. I could drown in that kiss. I did drown in that kiss.

  I heard her sweet moans vibrating against my mouth as I fondled her breasts. They were perfect and I couldn’t get enough of them. Before I could stop myself, my lips were on them, sucking her nipple, flicking my tongue across the tight bud as she moaned in blissful agony. My thumb rubbed across the other taut nipple as my hand palmed the mound of soft flesh.

  And when I felt her soft lips on the base of my neck sucking gently at my skin, I groaned with a raw heated desire. In fact, I worried that I might even shoot my load into my pants right then and there.

  I groaned in frustration as I pulled myself from her embrace. What I was doing was creepy because she thought it was just a dream. I struggled to control my desire as I looked at her. Her eyes were closed now, but she was smiling.

  “Jane, wake up.” I shook her gently, but she only snuggled closer to me. “C’mon. You gotta get up. I can take you home.”

  Her eyes fluttered as she mumbled. “Why do you always try to crush my dreams? Just give me this.”

  I wasn’t sure what she meant, but those words haunted me for a long time.

  “Jane…” She was passed out, softly snoring.

  I only intended to rest for a couple of minutes, then I would wake her up and get her home. But she was so damn comfortable cuddled up next to me. Even with my raging hard-on, I must have fallen asleep.

  I was confused as hell when I woke up. Blinking, I saw Jordy standing over me. “Dude, who’s the chick? It looks like…”

  It took a few seconds to register the half-naked girl in my arms. Jane. My first thought was to protect her from Jordy’s prying eyes. My arm tightened around her body, keeping her firmly in place, her breasts crushed up against my bare chest. She started stirring.

  My voice came out raspy. “Can you split for a moment? This might be awkward…”

  Jordy snorted, “Well, hurry up and get her out of here. I’ve got to clean up before my parents get home.” He left the basement, just before Jane fully woke up.

  When Jane woke up, she hadn’t been too happy to see me. I was pretty sure she didn’t remember much of the night before, but she didn’t even give me much of a chance to explain that nothing really happened between us. Once she discovered she was topless, she kind of freaked out and ran off as quickly as she could get dressed and get her legs working.

  And, of course, it was Jordy who started the rumors flying, but Jane probably thought it was me. I tried to deny everything to protect her, but the damage was done. I knew she must hate me. Even though I wanted to talk to her so badly after that night, I never did work up the courage.

  Chapter 3

  Jane

  You could go on a long streak where nothing happened. Eighteen years long even. Then within the span of a few weeks, you go to a party, kiss a dream boy and then go to the prom.

  Then, just when you’ve hit another dry spell and you wonder if you can withstand the monotony of life any longer, things start happening again. Contacted out of the blue by Johnnie. Seeing Dusty at the bar. Would these two occurrences just be tiny blips on the timeline of my life? Blips that faded away into wistful memories and endless what-ifs?

  I had just been giving Johnnie the run-down of my last four years, and not surprisingly, it hadn’t taken too long. I told him how I had got accepted to Baldwin College on a partial scholarship but made the 45 minute commute everyday because my parents wouldn’t allow me to live in the dorms. But, don’t think I was ungrateful. I had gotten the degree that I hoped would someday pull me out of the quicksand of my rotten life – the quicksand that kept trying to drag me down.

  And maybe, more importantly, I had gotten a taste of life. I worked part time on campus, mainly to afford gas for my commute and eating expenses. Between work and classes and just hanging out, I spent the entire day on campus. My mother really had no say about what I did. The freedom was transforming.

  For the first time in my life, I had friends. I went to a few parties. Boys were interested in me. Well, mostly interested in having sex, but that was normal. I was a normal person. And I finally had normal clothes!

  A week before my college classes had started, I went into town to get my hair cut by Aunt Bettie. She never accepted money from me, and I was grateful because I was flat broke and worried about affording gas and stuff. But the bigger surprise came when she returned from the back room hauling three huge black garbage bags stuffed with Sabrina’s old clothing.

  In the years since Sabrina had graduated high school, she had gotten pregnant by the high school bad boy, Mike. Now, the former wild-child was married to Mike, pregnant with child #3, working at the salon with her mother and perfectly content with her life. She had packed on the pounds, though, and would never again fit into the trendy clothing packed into those bags.

  I remember sitting on my bedroom floor that night, going through the bags of clothing with tears of happiness running down my face. I shuddered to think where I’d be now without Aunt Bettie’s help and advice, Sabrina’s hand-me-down wardrobe and even Mike, the car mechanic who single-hand
edly kept my car running without charging me a dime. I was pretty lucky.

  Just last week, I drove my mother into town so that Aunt Bettie could give her hair a permanent. The whole ride home, my mother went on and on about how I should be more like Sabrina. I just nodded occasionally, my head half hanging out the window because the permanent stunk up the car so much. My mother never saw the massive irony of it all.

  I finished my beer just as I finished telling Johnnie about how I had gotten my degree and couldn’t find a job. I had searched an entire 60-mile radius and; believe me, I was thorough. The only way I could see getting out from under my restrictive mother’s thumb was to get a job. Depressingly, within weeks of college graduation, my life had returned to the quiet desperation that I was so used to. It was like I was attached to a giant rubber band. I could stretch and pull it with all my might and take a few steps forward, but eventually I would always be pulled back to the reality that was mine.

  I could see in his eyes that Johnnie understood what I was talking about. He flagged down the harried looking waitress and ordered two more beers. Luckily, he must have read the panic in my eyes, too.

  “Don’t worry, Jane. I asked you out tonight. The beers are on me.”

  My face warmed with embarrassment. “It’s just that money is tight. With no job or anything...”

  My voice trailed off and I was eager to change the subject. “So, tell me all about California. It can’t be nearly as exciting as Kansas.”

  Johnnie’s face lit up as he began telling me about his past four years. According to him, everything was better in California. He had made it out.

  He paused mid-sentence and tilted his head. “You know, Jane. You should come with me back to California. You could stay with me until you found a job. With your degree, there would be a ton of job opportunities.”

  I laughed. “I don’t even have two dimes to rub together. I would never make it in California. Heck, I wouldn’t even make it to California. My car would probably break down in Utah or something.”

  Johnnie stared at me. “I’m not joking. You deserve more than this. We could make it work. And I’m not saying this to try to pick you up or anything. You could sleep on my couch. It would be totally platonic.”

  I started to squirm on my barstool. Why were his words upsetting me? Was it because I knew that what he was offering was impossible? Or because, once again he seemed to be so disinterested in any kind of romantic relationship with me? Or that tomorrow, when I woke up and Johnnie was gone, I would daydream about what would have happened if I had said yes to his spontaneous offer.

  I almost hadn’t recognized Johnnie when I first entered the bar. To say that he developed from a boy to a man seemed strange, but there’s no other way to describe it. He was always cute, but now he was intensely handsome. He was no longer skinny, but solidly built. I had mentally undressed him while we were talking and to say that he turned me on would be an understatement. Millie would have called him ‘Yummy’ and I think for once I’d have to agree.

  “There’s no girlfriend back in California that would get upset?” Yeah, I was fishing, but I just had to know.

  “No. That wouldn’t be a problem.” He nervously played with the label on his beer bottle.

  His reaction was suspicious. Something was up. There must be a girl. My heart sunk a little. “And wouldn’t having me around put a crimp in your lifestyle? Even if I found a job right away, I wouldn’t be able to afford my own place. Isn’t everything in California super-expensive anyway?”

  Suddenly Johnnie was having trouble meeting my eyes. “Let’s put aside the California thing for a moment. Cause, that’s not why I wanted to talk to you tonight. There’s something else that I’ve been thinking about.”

  Johnnie looked uncomfortable and that made me nervous. “I thought you just wanted to catch up.”

  He took a long sip of beer, as if stalling for time. “Remember the prom?”

  That was unexpected. “Of course, I remember. It was the best night of my life. You want to talk about the prom?”

  He glanced away. “Well, about what happened after the prom.”

  I started fidgeting. “Nothing happened after.” It came out sounding bitter, but that’s not what I had intended.

  Johnnie flinched. “Jane, it wasn’t you.”

  Why was he bringing all this up? I felt my face warming. “Please. You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

  He shook his head. “I wanted to. That night, I mean. I thought, ‘If there’s a girl who’s smart, funny, caring and beautiful and everything I could ever want - it’s Jane. If there’s any girl in the world that I could fall in love with – it’s got to be Jane. I tried. I liked being around you. Prom night I wanted to… you know, be with you. But, I couldn’t. I tried to force myself…”

  Jesus, I was going to start crying and I didn’t even know why exactly. “I don’t understand. Why would you have to force yourself to have sex with me? Would it be that horrible?”

  Johnnie looked as miserable as I felt. “I’m just not attracted to girls in that way. After the prom, I finally realized that I had to stop lying to myself. Stop pretending.”

  It was all starting to sink in, but I could barely believe it. “Pretending what, exactly?”

  He looked more than uneasy. He looked pained, scared even. “Pretending that I’m normal. I’m not. I’m gay.”

  The confession hadn’t been easy for him, but a look of resolute defiance crossed his face.

  I sat in shocked silence. Johnnie couldn’t be gay. He didn’t look gay. He didn’t sound gay. He didn’t act gay. And yet, there he was, plain as day, telling me that he was gay.

  I needed to speak. I needed to tell him that I supported him, no matter what. That I’d always be his friend. But that’s not quite what came out. I practically whispered. “I never would have guessed. Johnnie, are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure.” His laugh jolted me from my astonishment.

  Nervous laughter bubbled up from inside of me. “Shit! Thank God. I thought there was something wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong. You’re just gay. It’s no big deal.”

  Some of the bitterness crept back into his face. “It’s a pretty big fucking deal to me. I couldn’t be myself until I got to California. And then, finally, my world just turned around. I didn’t feel like a freak anymore.” He ran his hands through his hair. “God, I thought I got past all these negative feelings, but coming back here just drudges it all up again. I have to lie to my parents. To everyone. I can’t stand it anymore.”

  “You think they wouldn’t support you if you told them the truth?”

  Johnnie shrugged. “I don’t think they’d cut me off or anything. I don’t know. I really want to tell them, but they’re pretty conservative. It would be a huge disappointment to them. They’d be embarrassed in front of their friends and our extended family. If they knew I had an actual boyfriend…”

  My eyes widened. “You have a boyfriend?”

  Johnnie smiled and got an almost dreamy look on his face. “Yeah. We’ve been dating for about a year. I’ve never been so happy in my life. I can’t wait to get out of here and back to him. He wanted to come with me, but I’m too much of a coward.”

  Why would anyone begrudge their own child’s happiness? But, I knew as much as anyone that even loving relationships between children and their parents could be complicated. “Johnnie, this shit is really hard. But one thing I do know is that you’ve got only one life. You deserve to be happy. And you should give your parents a chance. They’ll be shocked at first, but give them time to come around. If they can’t, then fuck it, you’ve got to live your life for you, not them.”

  Johnnie sighed, but he looked more relaxed. “Yeah, that’s all good in theory, but when I’m with them, I can’t figure out a way to tell them. I completely freeze up with fear.”

  “Maybe you should start dropping some subtle hints.”

  Johnnie finished his beer and slid it across t
he table. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to keep it a secret from them, dropping hints now is going to be hard.”

  I picked at the label on my beer bottle. “Don’t they ever wonder why they don’t meet any girlfriends?”

  “Maybe. My Mom was ecstatic when I told her I was going out to meet you tonight. She wanted me to invite you to dinner tomorrow night, by the way.”

  Most people probably wouldn’t be too excited by the prospect of going over to their friend’s house for dinner with their parents, but I pathetically jumped at the offer. “I’ll definitely come over. What time?”

  “You don’t really have to…”

  “No really, I want to.” Any chance to break up my boring existence was more than welcome.

  Johnnie smiled a heart-melting smile. “Six o’clock. Bring brownies and my mother will love you. Me too.”

  That was when Dustin Hamilton walked into the bar. The entourage of guys surrounding him headed straight for the bar, but Dusty spotted me right away. I was staring at him like an open-mouthed dummy. He waved and I about died with embarrassment.

  Johnnie noticed my consternation. “Isn’t that Hamilton? What’s his name? Dusty? You friends with him now?”

  I hastily took a gulp of my beer. “No. I haven’t seen him since high school.”

  Johnnie scowled. “He’s an ass.”

  I was surprised at the venom in Johnnie’s voice. “Was he a jerk to you in high school?”

  Johnnie glared at the group of guys. “No, I just hate the type. Popular jock, great athlete, the guy fucking all the cheerleaders. Pretty much the opposite of me. He was everything that I wasn’t.”

  I took another sip of beer trying to calm my beating heart. “I’m surprised he even remembers us.”

  “He keeps looking at you.” Johnnie’s words had my stomach fluttering. Four years had not dampened the strange connection I felt towards Dusty. My memories from our brief encounter at Jordan’s party were foggy at best. But that had not prevented four years of dreaming about Dusty and his sinfully hot body doing magical things to me. From that night on, I had never been able to shake the stud loose from my fantasies.