She actually looked like she was about to touch me. I stepped away from her. “Really, Michelle? You were just fucking Nate. Gross. Don’t touch me.”
Her hand retreated and she suddenly looked angry. “Nate is freaking out that you’re going to tell Jane. Are you going to tell her?”
“I don’t give a fuck about you and Nate. Now leave me alone.” I had completely run out of patience.
Michelle shrugged. “Well, you are friends with Jane so I’d understand if you thought you had to tell her.”
I stared at her for a moment. What the fuck? Michelle wanted me to tell Jane. I couldn’t deal with this shit any longer. I pushed past Michelle and went back to my room and locked the door.
I collapsed on the bed waiting for the aspirin to kick in. I knew I wasn’t going to say anything to Jane, but I wasn’t sure why. I could never think clearly when it came to that girl.
There was one thing that had become clearer in my head though. I had been grappling with a decision for a couple of weeks now. Today’s bullshit had made it all easier. I was leaving town.
One more month was left on my lease. I’d pay September’s rent and tell Chad I wasn’t re-signing, but I’d head out of town after the end of the summer lake party next weekend. I’d be out of Kansas in a little over a week. I was moving in with my buddy in Colorado and spending the winter as a ski instructor. There was nothing left for me back here.
Chapter 13
Jane
Telling my mother the truth had been the worst mistake of my life. I had been dating Nate all summer and I was tired of sneaking around. Working at the diner gave me some cover, because I pretended to work a lot more days than I actually did. I didn’t even know why I had to sneak around. I knew in my heart that she would object to my having a boyfriend, but I couldn’t figure out the reasoning behind it. Did she expect me to never date a boy? To be a loner for my entire life? The answer was strangely: Yes. But I didn’t know why and I was sick of it. I had been slowly pushing back on my mother’s rules all summer. Now I was ready to assert the biggest challenge to her authority yet.
Nate had invited me to spend a long weekend up at a lake house belonging to Chad’s parents. According to Nate, it would be a weekend of hanging out, having fun, waterskiing and soaking in the sun. It was something I had never experienced before. I desperately wanted to go.
I loved spending time with Nate and I realized that I was quickly falling for him. I missed him when I wasn’t with him and thought about him constantly. I wasn’t sure if my feelings were genuine or if he was just taking me away from all my problems, but I could no longer imagine my life without him in it.
When I told my mother what my plan was for the weekend, she went crazy. I braced myself as I saw her quickly working up into a tizzy.
She spoke to me in a low, gravelly voice. She was pissed. “Jane, you’re not going anywhere this weekend. I forbid it.”
I tried to remain calm, but I felt emotions bubbling up to match hers. “Mom, I’m an adult. It’s time you stopped babying me.”
She hissed angrily at me. “We are not discussing this, Jane. This is final. If you live under my roof, you have to live by my rules.”
I walked away from her and then spent the afternoon crying in my bedroom. When Friday morning came around, I was already packed to go. I gathered my courage and then headed downstairs with my bags.
“Goodbye, Mom. I’ll see you Sunday night.” My stomach was churning with nausea.
My mother was stunned silent for a moment, but then a look of pure hatred crossed her face. She barked at me like a rabid dog. “Is that what you want, Jane? To be a slut? To have sex with men like a filthy whore? If you walk out that door, don’t think about ever coming back.”
I walked out the door, her staggeringly cruel insults ringing in my ears. I drove to Nate’s house with shaking hands, seemingly in a trance. My mother’s brutal accusations had cut deep.
It was a two hour drive to the lake house. I spent the time in the Nate’s car worried sick about my mother. What the fuck? What would happen? Would she really kick me out?
Hundreds of scenarios ran through my mind. What if she did? What would I do? I could probably stay with Sabrina for a while. But what if my mom took my car? It was technically hers. Similar thoughts played out in my head over and over.
Nate had always been strangely non-curious about my family situation. He knew I had a weird relationship with my mother, but he never asked me much about it.
Nate smiled at me. “You’re awfully quiet. Are you excited?”
“I’m having problems with my mother again.”
Nate shrugged off my worries. “I’ll help get your problems off your mind. Don’t worry, we’re going to have fun this weekend.”
He squeezed my hand and I tried to forget about it.
It wasn’t even lunchtime yet when we arrived at the lake house, but tons of people were already there. The party had already started. I looked around in amazement. “Where is everyone going to sleep?”
Nate just chuckled. “Wherever they can find a spot.”
Within minutes of our arrival, Nate had dumped off our bags somewhere in the house and started mingling. The day flew by. I spent most of my time with some other girls laying in the sun and watching the guys waterskiing or playing volleyball. That night, Nate managed to find us an unoccupied couch, because all the beds were taken. I was disappointed when we didn’t even manage to fool around because he passed out so quickly. He had been drinking a lot.
The next day followed much of the same pattern. At around noon, Dusty’s ex-girlfriend, Michelle, arrived with some friends. At first I was worried, because she started to hang out with the group of girls that I had latched onto. Gradually, I relaxed because she didn’t seem like she was paying much attention to me at all.
I knew that Dusty was likely to show up at some point. He was Chad’s best friend and this party was something of an annual tradition. Even though I told myself I wasn’t looking for him, I was.
Finally, around mid-afternoon, Dusty arrived. After all this time, my heart still beat faster whenever I saw him. I know he saw me but he didn’t even bother to say hello. He avoided me as usual. He paid even less attention to Michelle.
It was early evening when I stopped surreptitiously dumping my drinks out and started actually drinking them. Sometimes you just needed to step out of your comfort zone a little bit. Nate had been checking on me throughout the day, but I hadn’t spent much time with him. I even decided to grab some food from the barbeque without him when I hadn’t seen him for a while, because I was getting so hungry.
When he finally showed up, he was clearly wasted, more than I’d ever seen him before.
“Jane, there you are. Are you having fun?”
I nodded. “Sure. Did you have any food yet? It’s starting to get dark. It must be late.”
Nate swatted his hand. “I’m not hungry. Grab your drink, let’s go hit the hot tub.”
“Why don’t I get you a plate of food first?”
Nate pulled at my swimsuit cover-up. “C’mon. Take off that thing you’re wearing and let me see that sexy bikini.”
I laughed at his playfulness. I had been so worried when I went shopping for the bathing suits. They were horribly skimpy and I had felt scandalous trying them on, but they were fairly modest compared to what some of the other girls were wearing.
Nate grabbed my hand. “C’mon. Let’s go check out the hot tub.”
I had wanted to hang out with him all day, so I relented. When we got to the hot tub, I wanted to turn back. It was already fairly crowded with people, including Dusty on one end and Michelle at the other.
“Nate, I don’t think there’s any room left.”
Ace rested his beer on the ledge. “There’s always room for hot babes. Get over here, Beth.” Beth squealed as Ace pulled her onto his lap.
Nate climbed in the hot tub, which didn’t leave me much choice. It seemed like everyone was watchi
ng me as I stripped off my cover up. Someone whistled, but I ignored it. I climbed in as gracefully as I could and then squeezed in next to Nate. He pulled me onto his lap and I could feel his hands rubbing my legs under the water. At least we were finally hanging out together.
My discomfort started to slowly subside when the normal conversations resumed around us in the hot tub. Beth was complaining about Ace spilling beer in the hot tub. Some guy was talking about a massive waterskiing wipe out. I relaxed against Nate and tried not to look at Dusty who was directly across from me.
A guy I didn’t know spoke way too loudly. “You’ve got a nice pair of tits, Jane.”
The hot tub grew silent except for a couple of snickers. My face felt like it was on fire. I waited for Nate to jump to my defense. Instead, his hand reached up and jiggled my right breast. “Yeah, she fucking does.”
I pushed Nate’s hand aside. “Nate, cut it out.” I was mortified.
Even the girls in the hot tub laughed.
The same guy called out again. “Let’s see them, Jane. Show us your titties.”
Alarm bells were going off inside my head. I was really uncomfortable and I didn’t like the situation I was in. Surely, Nate would back me up?
But Nate was completely wasted. He laughed with the others. “C’mon, Jane. Show them your fantastic tits.” It was a side of him that I had never seen before.
I shook my head and tried to laugh it off. “No, I don’t think so.”
Unfortunately, that didn’t end it. Michelle, who was sitting next to us, cut in. “C’mon Jane. Don’t be so prissy. Let’s see those tits.”
There was no way anyone was going to pressure me into taking off my top. “Sorry, guys. Not today.”
Michelle took a huge gulp of beer. “What a way to ruin the party, Jane. You guys want titties? How about these titties?”
Michelle whipped off her top and then jiggled her tits to the delight of the hot tub occupants. My embarrassment grew greater and greater as all the girls in the hot tub started taking off their tops to the delighted hoots and hollers.
I was to the point of tears when I saw Nate’s hand reach out and grab Michelle’s breast. How could he? I started to get up. I could only think of escaping at this point. My humiliation was complete when Nate tugged loose the string holding my bikini top in place. I tried to cover my chest as my breasts slipped free. I ignored the cheers and pulled out of Nate’s grasp. No one tried to stop me as I got out of the tub and found my cover up on the ground. I slipped it on and stalked away before the tears started falling.
I wanted to be alone and there was really nowhere to go. I wandered to the front of the property to get away from the crowd and then over to Nate’s car. It was unlocked. I climbed inside and hid.
I felt utterly betrayed by Nate. I tried to justify his behavior, saying that he was really drunk and I was overreacting. After about an hour, when I realized Nate wasn’t going to try and find me, I got out of the car. I needed to find him before things got too out of control between us. I really needed him to make things all right between us again.
Another hour later, I hadn’t found him. He wasn’t anywhere outside and no one had seen him recently. I saw Beth coming out of the house and she didn’t seem obscenely drunk. I was hesitant to approach her since she was part of the hot tub fiasco, but I was desperate to find Nate.
“Beth, have you seen Nate?”
She swung her arms around as she spoke, spilling her drink everywhere. “Yeah. I was changing out of my suit and a bunch of them were in the kitchen drinking. I’m pretty sure Nate was there.”
It was a good idea. I would search for my bag to change into some clothes and look for Nate in the house. I found my bag and changed in the bathroom, but didn’t see Nate anywhere downstairs. Could he be passed out somewhere upstairs?
It never even occurred to me as I poked around in the bedrooms upstairs that I might find something that I didn’t want to see. Even though Nate had acted like a drunken fool and totally humiliated me, I never thought twice that he could be doing something far worse.
When I walked into the bedroom and saw Michelle giving Nate a blowjob, my blood ran cold with shock. All my naiveté was shattered in one harsh moment of shocking discovery. I backed away, not able to bear the sight any longer. I fought to draw air into my lungs, as I stumbled out of the room and down the hall.
Numbness crowded my brain. Working on pure instincts, I made my way downstairs. I needed to flee. Someone called to me as I passed by, but I could barely hear over the blood pounding through my ears. I needed to keep moving.
It was Dusty. He caught up to me outside. “Jane, what’s wrong?”
My words sounded garbled. “Nate. He’s with … someone. I’ve got to go.”
Chapter 14
Dusty
As soon as I’d decided to move to Colorado, I felt a stifling weight lift from my shoulders. I was tired of moping around town all the time. I felt restless and unsettled. Colorado offered new exciting possibilities.
Most of my stuff was already packed. The plan was to spend Saturday night at Chad’s lake house party and then head home Sunday to finish packing. Sunday night I would have dinner with my parents to say goodbye, and then leave first thing Monday morning.
I hadn’t been in the right mood to go to Chad’s party, but now that I knew I was leaving, my only goal was to have a good time. I spent most of Saturday out on the lake skiing. After that, I pushed aside my demons, demons that I suspected had everything to do with Jane Brown, and focused on having fun. There were tons of attractive women there. And I knew if I made the slightest effort, I could probably hook up with one of them.
One last fling would be like a healing tonic to combat my strange angsty mood. I hadn’t had sex since I had broken up with Michelle. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me, but I had been avoiding women since the breakup. Sex didn’t seem worth the effort anymore. It had been a real dry spell.
Luckily I felt my mood changing that night. Things were going well; that is, until the dumb shit with Jane happened in the hot tub. Everything about that scene bothered me: that Nate was an inconsiderate jackass of a boyfriend, that Michelle egged it all on, even that Jane had to make a big fucking deal about taking off her top. Tits bared in a hot tub didn’t mean anything to me or to anyone else in the hot tub. But it mattered to Jane, which was highly evident. And fuck it all, the whole thing had soured my night. I felt tension shrouding me like a black cloud. What was wrong with me?
I tried to shake it off fast, to search for a girl willing to help me forget everything. It looked like I was succeeding. I had a pretty girl hooked and ready to be reeled in. I was about ready to close the deal.
When Jane stumbled past me, I instantly knew something terrible had happened to her. She was pale and shaking, completely shell-shocked, like she’d just seen a ghost. It wasn’t my problem. I wasn’t going to let Jane Brown ruin my night.
I lasted ten seconds before I took off after her.
“Jane!” I called out to her just as she slipped out the door, but she was in a complete stupor and didn’t hear me.
I caught up to her easily as she seemed to be mindlessly staggering around. “Jane, what’s wrong?”
She said something about Nate, but it sounded like complete gibberish. Was she wasted?
“You can’t find Nate?”
She didn’t answer; in fact, she just walked away. I stood rooted to the spot for a moment. I wouldn’t have followed her except that she was walking away from the party and she was obviously in bad shape. She headed toward the clusterfuck of parked cars. I ran to catch up to her when I saw her slip inside of Nate’s car. His car was completely parked in; there was no way she could get out. Was she too drunk to notice?
When I reached the car, I saw Jane slumped against the steering wheel. She jumped when I opened the door.
“Dusty? What are you doing here?” She seemed surprised to see me, even though we had spoken only moments before.
She sat up. “I’m not drunk. And besides, I don’t have the keys.”
It was weird that I almost believed her. “Then what are you doing in here?”
“I’m hiding.”
I didn’t know what was going on, but Jane was beginning to look more herself and she didn’t seem nearly as drunk as I thought she was. I had overreacted. I needed to stop chasing after Jane and get back to the party. “Do you want me to go find Nate and tell him you’re out here?”
“No!” Her answer was vehement.
“Are you two fighting?” It was time to beat a hasty retreat. I wasn’t about to get mixed up in that shit.
Her face crumpled. Tears started streaming out of her eyes. “Remember when you told me that Nate was an ass? Well, you were right.”
I stepped back a step. “I’m sure you two will work it all out.”
She swatted angrily at her tears. “I don’t think so. He’s with another girl…”
“I’m sure you’re just misinterpreting things. It’s probably just meaningless flirting or something.”
She laughed bitterly. “They were both naked. She was sucking his cock. There’s no mistaking that.”
“Oh.” Oh, Fuck.
“I’m so stupid. And now I’m trapped here all weekend with him. Oh my God. I just can’t… I just want to go home.”
***
Instead of getting laid at the infamous end of summer party, I was driving Jane home. Good going, Dusty. She fell asleep five minutes into the trip. I didn’t know where she lived, so I had to wake her up when we got back into town.
She began to panic. “I can’t go home. Oh God. What did I do? I risked everything! All for what?”
I had no clue what was going on, except that she was adamant that she didn’t want to go home.
“Wait. I left my car at your house, Dusty. Just take me there. I’ll sleep in my car tonight.”
Being Jane: A New Adult Erotic Romance: Fountain of Love Page 8
