“You don’t have to sleep in your car. What the hell? You can sleep in the house. There’s no way anyone’s making it home tonight, even if Nate did happen to notice you were gone.”
Jane insisted on sleeping on the couch. She didn’t want to go anywhere near Nate’s room. I tossed and turned in my room thinking about Jane.
It was weird that I was asleep again when she slipped into my bed. It was like a case of déjà vu, only this time I knew immediately that it was Jane. This time there was no talking. And, there was no talking myself out of it. I wasn’t nearly so noble as I had once been years ago.
Maybe she just wanted a little comfort, to be near someone after she had been hurt so badly. I didn’t really know. I didn’t really care. I was undressing her and she wasn’t resisting. My heart was beating so hard I thought it would explode. The moment I felt her skin against mine, I was lost forever.
My hands slid over her body, wanting to touch her everywhere at once. She arched her back slightly, pressing her breasts into my hands. When I pulled lightly at her nipples, her sweet gasps of pleasure had my cock aching with need. Her nipples responded instantaneously to my touch, pebbling under my gentle prodding.
I wanted to take time exploring every inch of her luscious body, but an overload of sensations was making it almost impossible to maintain control: her weight on top of me, her soft curves molded to my body, her hand slipping into my boxers and stroking my cock until I was dizzy with need. My head was spinning as I met her lips. The intensity of our kiss matched the growing frenzy of my desire.
The small semblance of control that I had was slipping away. My hands were sliding over her skin, caressing a fiery trail over her hip, splaying across her belly and slipping between her legs. Her legs parted for me. As soon as I felt her wetness, I couldn’t hold back. My finger plunged straight into her core.
Her moans of pleasure vibrated in our kiss as she clenched around my finger. She felt like fire as she pushed against my hand demanding more. I withdrew my finger, but didn’t relent. My fingers circled her clit, caressing and teasing, before slipping back inside. Her gasps and cries grew more urgent as she bucked against me. My every touch elicited a response. I could have pleasured her all day, she was so sexy, but she was coming apart fast.
She was going to come, but I wanted to taste her. I wanted my lips on her clit and my tongue buried in her pussy when she exploded in release. I rolled her off of me and onto her back. My mouth got distracted and stopped at her breasts for a moment of worship before descending between her legs.
When I tasted her sweet essence, I couldn’t hold back any longer; my brain shut down as I devoured her. My tongue slid straight into her juicy center. I barely noticed her fingernails digging hard into my shoulders as my lips wrapped around her sensitive clit and sucked.
She was panting and gasping, grinding hard into my face. My tongue tortured her clit mercilessly, flicking and circling before thrusting deep into her pussy.
She called out my name and my stomach clenched. I knew I would do anything to hear my name gasped from her lips over and over again. I used my teeth to nip carefully at her sensitive flesh and it seemed to drive her insane. I was working her pussy with abandon and I could tell from her cries that she was about to climax. My tongue focused on her clit while I slipped my finger deep inside of her. She was screaming my name when I felt her explode. Her muscles shuddered with ferocity just as I tasted the creamy juices of her release.
I wanted to continue licking that quivering pussy, but she was already reflexively closing her legs. I stood up and got off the bed so I could turn on the table lamp. I wanted to see Jane. She blinked at the light. Her hair was splayed out in a crazy pattern on the pillow and she was still panting heavily, causing her chest to rise and fall in a mesmerizing way. God, she was so sexy.
She was watching me. I pulled my eyes away from her and slipped out of my boxers. My cock was pulsing with need. I grabbed a condom from the table drawer and pulled it on as fast as I could. I left the light on. I wanted to watch her face when I sunk into her. I wanted Jane to see me – to know that it was me making her feel this way, to forget everyone else but me.
Our eyes locked when I slid on top of her body. The connection I felt buzzing between us was scary; I almost had to look away. I wondered if she could see the truth in my eyes. I gathered her hands in my own, stretched them out over her head and held them down. My eyes swept over her prone body as I braced myself between her legs. Jane was mine. I could see it in her eyes. I wasn’t taking. She was giving.
I plunged into her hot center and it felt like heaven. Jane was silent and watching. I slowly pumped into her a few more times, but I was having trouble holding back, my cock was throbbing. Her lips parted softly as her chest began to heave.
I began moving faster, burying myself as deep as I could with each thrust, her sweet moans spurring me on. She began to writhe beneath me. The way she responded to me set my body on fire. There was no holding back.
I was mindless with need as I thrust into her over and over, pushing us both to the limit. She bucked against me wildly and then let out a strangled cry. That was my cue. It only took a few more deep thrusts until I felt myself shatter into a million pieces. I could still feel her inner muscles milking my cock even after it had finished its frantic pulsing.
My arms grew tired holding myself rigid and upright. I slipped off of Jane and disposed of the condom. I was feeling sated, and weak, and deliriously happy. I pulled Jane into my arms and we lay together silently. She clung to me, but that was okay. I was there for her. I held her tight against me and she fell asleep while I was stroking her hair.
I lay awake holding Jane long after the euphoric rush of sex faded. Sex with Jane had been amazing. I had always known it would be that way between us. Experiencing the reality of it, though, had completely blown my mind. I could give her more than Nathan ever could. She was mine.
***
I woke up with a smile on my lips. Dreams of Jane were fresh in my head and they had left me with some very interesting ideas for the morning.
It took me a second to realize that Jane was not in bed with me anymore. I frowned with disappointment. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock. It was early, only 8 o’clock.
I slid out of bed and put on my boxers. The house sounded empty. I poked my head out of my room and into the hall. The bathroom door was open. It was empty. I felt a twinge of despair tug at my stomach. I crossed back through my room feeling sick and pulled the window blinds to the side so I could look outside. Jane’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Jane was gone.
Chapter 15
Jane
Autumn always made me a little bit melancholy. Once the leaves changed colors, the landscape grew progressively drearier and the bitter cold crept in stealthily but sure. This autumn seemed especially depressing.
Life had gone back to normal for Jane Brown. I had stretched that darn rubber band as far as I could take it, and when it snapped back, it had hurt. After my crazy burst of defiance, when I went to the forbidden lake party, my parents had laid down the gauntlet. There would be no more socializing for me, not that it mattered much. My fairytale romance with Nate had gone up in smoke and had taken the entire extent of my social life with it. Nate had tried half heartedly to win me back, but I guess Michelle was there to soothe his sorrowful heartbreak.
I was able to get over Nate. I had loved him with an exuberant innocence, just like any girl who loved her first boyfriend did. Nate had showed me a taste of life. He had been an escape from the boring Jane Brown who always felt so invisible and unloved. I loved what Nate did for me, more so than the actual man himself. But, it was Dusty who had broken my heart. He was the one who had crushed my soul, whether he knew it or not.
Dusty, the man who came to my rescue the night that Nate betrayed me, was the man that I had secretly loved all along. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t remember the feel of his hands caressing my body, or remember
the taste of his lips against my own or remember how he made my body soar when he made love to me.
I replayed our night together over and over. He had taken me to heights I had never imagined before and showed me pleasures I never even knew existed. I had abandoned all reason, all pride and all modesty when he touched me. He made me feel safe and beautiful and loved.
I was filled with happiness when I awoke nestled in his arms. It felt like I belonged there. It had been a really long time since I had felt true happiness. Even as I marveled at that fact, suspicions started to crowd into my head, suspicions that I didn’t deserve to be happy, reminders that I wasn’t good enough.
The ugly voice in the back of my head grew louder. I was a slut. One minute I was sleeping with Nate and then hours later, I was spreading my legs for his roommate.
Would Dusty think I was the biggest slut in the world? Just like my mother had said I was? I literally threw myself at him, climbing into his bed like a cheap whore. I felt the shame of what I had done clawing at my insides until I thought I’d be sick. Panic infused me until all I could think of was getting away from Dusty before he woke up. I couldn’t face my humiliation.
It took me over a week to find out that Dusty had moved to Colorado. Days and days of not knowing he was gone and clinging to the hope that he’d seek me out. Hoping that he really didn’t think that I was just an easy lay. Hoping that maybe I meant something to him. But he had already been long gone.
Months later, I still couldn’t shake Dusty from my mind. Dusty was the man who made love to me and then walked out of my life the next day like it was nothing. Dusty was the man that I would never get over.
I shook my head to clear the ever-intruding thoughts of Dusty from it. Pasting on a fake smile, I opened the door to the hair salon. I chatted with the receptionist for a few minutes until my aunt came out from the back room.
She pulled me into a big hug. “Hello sweetie! Daisy told me you were coming in today. Sabrina is going to be mad she missed you. She’s home with the little one today. He’s got some kind of stomach virus thing…”
I relaxed as I listened to Aunt Bettie’s non-stop chatter. After she finished washing my hair, she led me up to her station.
Aunt Bettie’s swivel chair had been less like a stylist’s chair and more like a therapist’s couch to me over the years. Once I climbed into it, I felt like our session was beginning.
“I’ve been hearing some interesting chatter about you lately.”
I wasn’t surprised. Aunt Bettie was well connected. She could give a detailed report about half the people in town and she knew plenty of juicy gossip about the other half.
I raised an eyebrow. “Huh. I’m not usually so gossip-worthy.”
“Jane Brown. Don’t be coy.” She placed a hand on her hip. “Spill it all. Start with the boyfriend. Nate is it?”
My shoulders drooped a little. “Your gossip must be old. Ex-boyfriend, Nate.”
Aunt Bettie began combing my damp hair. “I admit my sources are a little weak where you’re concerned. But I shouldn’t need sources to find out what’s going on with my own niece. Out with it.”
“Well, I met Nate at the beginning of the summer. He was really cute and fun to be around and he really seemed to like me. We started dating and, of course, I couldn’t tell Mom. She would have flipped out. So I had to sneak around just to go on innocent dates, like to the movies and stuff.”
Aunt Bettie began trimming my hair. “And that’s why you pretended to be working at the diner non-stop, when in reality you only worked there a few nights a week?”
“How did you figure that out?”
I watched in the mirror as Aunt Bettie waved her scissors around behind my head. “Honey, those diner people know how to gossip. Plus, I’ve been friends with Phyllis Landrau since grade school.”
How she pieced everything together like a detective boggled my mind. “I didn’t know you knew Phyllis. Huh. Anyway, a few times I told Mom I was going out on a date. She freaked out and got all crazy, but she couldn’t really stop me. I mean, it was obvious that she was being unreasonable. I think I was wearing her down a bit. Like eventually she might get used to the idea.”
Aunt Bettie snorted. “There ain’t no use waiting for that to happen. Your Mom’s never going to change. What was the big hubbub I heard about you running away? Your father was ready to call the police, because your mother was so distraught.”
“Running away?” I rolled my eyes. “Is that what Dad told you? I specifically told them that I was spending a weekend with friends. Going to a party at the lake. I guess I pushed too hard, too fast. Mom had a complete meltdown and threatened to kick me out if I went. But, I went anyway. I walked right out the door as she was screaming like a lunatic.”
Aunt Bettie was frowning as she snipped at my hair. “I see. So when you came home from that little adventure - that’s when the house arrest started?”
I sighed. “Yep. Dad laid down the law. Mom wouldn’t even look at me for weeks after it happened. She still barely speaks to me now. Dad’s on her side.”
Aunt Bettie shook her head sadly. “Your father loves your mother very much. He always has. He would do anything to protect her.”
“Protect her from what? Me? The devil child? It doesn’t make any sense. And the worst part is that I risked all that just so I could go to what turned out to be the worst party ever.”
“What happened?”
I studied my fingernails as I tried to control the emotions that threatened to bubble up. “I walked in on Nate with another girl. It was … really bad.”
Aunt Bettie stopped cutting. “Oh honey. I’m so sorry. Men can be pigs. It’s a lesson most of us have to learn multiple times before it finally sinks in. I know this isn’t going to help right now, but there will be other guys. You’ll fall in love again. Trust me.”
Tears were stinging my eyes. “What’s the good of falling in love with someone when your mother won’t even let you speak to a boy? What’s the point?”
Aunt Bettie shook her head in disgust. “Well, that’s a whole other problem.”
“I just can’t stand it anymore. I feel trapped. I’m so miserable at home. With my life. With everything.” I had to speak past the lump in my throat.
She began snipping at my hair again. “Then it’s time to do something about it.”
“What can I do?” My situation seemed hopeless.
“You’re going to have to leave.” She sounded so matter of fact about it. “Cut those apron strings. You’re an adult. You’ve got a fancy college degree. Work out a plan to leave. Your opportunity will pop up. You just have to recognize it when it does and have the courage to act on it.”
I was amazed. Aunt Bettie was telling me to just up and move out. “But, I’m flat broke. And I’ve been searching for a real job for months.”
“That’s fear talking, Jane. That’s your mother’s legacy to you. But this is your life. You have to take control of it now. Be smart about it, but don’t ever let your mother’s fears and anxieties hold you back.”
The same old question continued to torment me. I shook my head in confusion. “But, what is she so afraid of? I don’t understand. Is it just her personality? A weird genetic defect or something?”
“Oh no, she wasn’t always like this. Of course, we didn’t go to the same high school, but your mother used to be quite popular –”
A jolt of surprise hit me. “Wait. You didn’t go to the same high school as Mom?”
“No. Your father and I grew up here in town and we went to West Chapel High School like you. But your mother grew up in Courtland.”
Courtland was just the next town over, but I had always assumed my mother had gone to West Chapel, too. Of course, my mother had never talked about high school. There were no stories, no high school friends or reunions, not even a yearbook.
“So something happened to Mom to make her change?” My brain was frantically trying to put together the pieces.
&nbs
p; I saw a silent acknowledgement in Aunt Bettie’s eyes. “Oh honey, I’ve said more than I’ve meant to say.
There was an old hidden secret that had been buried deep. I spoke quietly. “Aunt Bettie, I need to know.”
She shook her bleached blonde curls and pursed her lips. “I’m sorry. It’s not my story to tell.”
She spun me around in the chair and began blow-drying my hair. Aunt Bettie, the biggest gossip in the world, wouldn’t tell me and I knew for a fact that neither of my parents would tell me. Intuition told me that it was important. Somehow I had to find out.
By the time Aunt Bettie finished my hair, she had a giant smile back on her face. “Have you spoken to Johnnie lately?”
I looked up in surprise. “Johnnie Morano?”
“Yeah, his mother was just in here last week. Boy, does she ever love you. Johnnie is going to come home for Thanksgiving. She’s already fixing to have you over for dinner that weekend.”
I laughed. “Her matchmaking is not going to work.”
Aunt Bettie winked at me. “You mean, because he’s gay?”
My mouth fell open in shock. “How did you know that?”
“He should really put his poor mother out of her misery and clue her in. She can handle it. I’m sure of it.”
***
I always had a lot to think about after Aunt Bettie worked her magic on my psyche. So, after my haircut, I sat in the parking lot just thinking. My shift at the diner didn’t start for another three hours. I started my car and headed out of town without even thinking twice.
I thought it would be like searching for a needle in a haystack. I didn’t even know what I was looking for. But I was wrong. Once I figured out how to work the microfiche machine at the Courtland library, it didn’t take long at all. I had gathered archived film from the Courtland local newspaper from the years that corresponded to my mother’s junior and senior year of high school. What I was looking for turned out to be front-page news for months and months.
Being Jane: A New Adult Erotic Romance: Fountain of Love Page 9
