Out Of The Ashes

by Diana Gardin

  I made it to the group of girls before Clay caught up. Why did he bother?

  “Hey,” he said. “Where are you going? I thought we were talking.”

  “Uh,” I said. “Well, we can be done. You seem…busy? With that girl, maybe?”

  You know, the one who was my opposite in every way?

  “It was nice to meet you, Clay. Again.”

  I turned to Gillian, who was watching us curiously.

  “Do you know Clay?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “No. Not really.”

  “Hey,” he interjected, still standing there. “I’m offended. We officially do know each other now. And I wanted to talk some more. Get to know you a little.”

  I gazed at Gillian, hoping she could read the panic in my eyes.

  She could, of course. “Clay, you don’t talk. You do. I’m sure Hannah is waiting for you around here somewhere, right? Or some other stand-in.”

  He closed his eyes briefly, and then glared at Gillian. “Nice, Gill. I’m not with Hannah, and you know it.”

  “Exactly,” she answered. “You just sleep with her because she’s available. But,” she placed an arm around my waist and pulled me closer. “Paige here isn’t. Go look for another notch for your bedpost tonight.”

  His blue eyes flashed angrily, but he stayed silent. Had I noticed how beautifully clear those baby blues were before? He threw one last, pleading glance at me. What did he want me to read in that look? Then he walked away, hands in the pockets of his perfect ass-framing jeans.

  I escaped after that, closing the bathroom door behind me with a sigh of relief. I wasn’t used to guys--any guy, much less one that looked like Clay--paying any sort of attention to me at all. And the way he’d zeroed in on me since the moment we ran into each other at the bookstore made me think he might be interested in me. And that thought was ridiculous. He was obviously a player. Someone I needed to stay away from because the last thing my broken body needed was a broken heart to go along with it.

  A knock sounded on the door, a quick tap-tap-tap.

  “Someone’s in here!” I shouted.

  The door shoved open. I gasped and opened my mouth to shout when a hand slapped onto my face, effectively shutting me up.

  My eyes widened when the redhead in the black dress appeared behind me in the mirror. One hand was still covering my mouth and she used the other to tug my short hair, yanking a scream from me when she pulled. Her heavy hand muffled the noise.

  “Shut up, bitch,” she hissed. “Do you know who I am?”

  The alcohol floating off her breath as she spoke upset my stomach. The room spun, threatening to pull my legs out from under me.

  She pulled my hair harder when I didn’t answer. “Do you?”

  I shook my head quickly, staring at her in the mirror with wide eyes.

  “I’m Clay Forbes’ fiancée. Got it? You stay away from him. If I catch you sniffing around my man again, I’m going to fuck you up. Nod if you understand.”

  I nodded, angry tears filling my eyes from the sting in my head.

  “Good.” She let go and the sudden absence of her overbearing hands and her liquored up scent was overwhelming and I couldn’t breathe properly, much less speak.

  She opened the bathroom door, throwing one last look at me over her shoulder and closed it behind her.

  I dropped down to the bathroom floor and sobbed silently into a towel I pulled off of the sink as I sank.

  Five

  Paige

  The first day of school was sunny and perfect. The birds sang in the trees and cars motored happily down the street beyond our apartment complex.

  The world was turning; everyone was going about their normal business.

  As if the most monumental day of my life wasn’t upon me.

  Life is funny that way. Big things can happen to you; tragedies can take your entire family away. But the rest of the world continues on as if nothing has happened.

  As I walked toward campus with Gillian, she noticed my pensive mood and she grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly in hers.

  “You’re amazing, you know,” she said.

  “Am I? I don’t feel amazing. Most of the time I feel a little lost.”

  “I know,” she answered. “But you’re finding yourself. Slowly. I can see it happening every day. Little pieces of you come flying back, and my friend is being put back together again. It makes me so happy and hopeful for what comes next in your life.”

  “I’m never going to be that girl again, Gill. You know that, right? The girl that I was before the fire didn’t realize what an ugly place the world could be.”

  She nodded thoughtfully. “But this girl knows and is still a shiny bright spot in my world. That counts for something, Paige. You’re going to be okay. Today is the start of something special for you.”

  I hoped so. More than anything, I wanted her to be right about that. We parted ways outside the Student Center. Gillian hurried off to the Sciences building where she had a chemistry lecture. I headed inside to grab coffee before class.

  I turned around with my fresh latte in my hand and bumped right into Clay Forbes. Luckily, there was a lid on my cup, or caramel-scented coffee would have splashed all over his baby blue v-neck tee. A blue tee that turned his eyes into liquid topaz. I could see the defined muscles of his chest and his flat stomach through the fitted shirt. Clay wasn’t a big guy, but he was at least six feet tall and his body was lean and fit.

  “Whoa,” he said, catching me by my forearms before I stumbled over his feet. “Slow down, there’s no fire.”

  My face burned scarlet, and my breathing increased its speed. No sound escaped my lips when I opened my mouth. I was losing my grip on the here and now; my mind began hurtling into the past. I tried to stop it, get control of my breathing. I fought as hard as I could, struggling with slowing down each breath before I took the next.

  It didn’t work.

  Flashes of the past began pouring into my consciousness, one quick picture at a time. The faces of my family, terrified and reflected in the orange flames. The feeling of being choked into oblivion by the thick, inky smoke. Crawling on my hands and knees, smelling my hair singing in the hot flames.

  “Hey,” Clay said. He tilted his head to look down into my eyes and placed his finger under my chin to lift my face skyward. “What is it? Are you okay?”

  I struggled, gulping in air and closing my eyes. His voice brought me back to the Student Center and I pushed back against the dark memories. I remembered that my therapist had instructed me to count when I was having a panic attack. After I counted to ten, I had recovered enough to get a sentence out.

  “I, uh…I have to go to class.”

  His hands tightened on my arms, not painfully but tight enough to keep me in place. “Wait, Paige. What just happened?”

  His eyes were full of confusion and concern. The concern was puzzling...and nice. The emotions those eyes were stirring up in me were too much for me to handle at the moment.

  “Sorry about running into you.” I pivoted and practically ran for the Student Center’s double doors, exiting into the bright sunshine. I hurried down the steps.

  “Paige!” I heard Clay call out behind me. “Wait!”

  Continuing to walk crossed my mind, but he would catch up eventually. I slowed and allowed him to fall into step beside me.

  “Look, I’m fine. You didn’t have to chase me down.” I whirled on him. I found it difficult to keep my face unaffected when those azure eyes burned into mine like that.

  “I know I didn’t. But what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you walk to class all alone?”

  I eyed him doubtfully. “I wasn’t aware that you were a gentleman.”

  He shrugged. “I’m not, usually. You seem to bring all kinds of strangeness out in me. So what class are we heading toward?”

  “We are heading for Statistics. And I’m awful at math, so I’d better be on time to get a seat in the front.”

&nb
sp; He laughed. “Oh, I don’t think you’ll have a problem getting a seat in the front. What’s your major?”

  “I don’t know yet. I’m going to see where life takes me these next few years.”

  “Gotcha. Probably smart. Some people end up changing a bunch of times.”

  We walked the rest of the way to Snellings Hall. The campus was bustling, covered with students rushing to class, sitting on the lawn with books and with ear buds in, and jogging around campus. Trees dotted the wide-open lawns, full and majestic branches reaching out for the sun. I loved it here.

  We paused outside my building, and I cast my eyes toward Clay.

  “Thanks, Clay. Sorry I freaked out on your earlier. I’ll see you around.”

  He caught my hand before I turned away. “Why don’t we make sure that happens? Give me your phone.”

  I hesitated, then handed over my cell phone. He typed his number in my contacts.

  “Now text me,” he demanded.

  I did, and his phone dinged in his pocket. He took it out, scanned the screen, and smiled.

  “Now I have your number and you have mine. I’ll definitely see you soon. Have a good day, Paige.”

  He turned and walked off, free as a bird. His hands were deep in his pockets as he went, and I took a second to admire the view.

  I shook my head to clear it of all things Clay, and headed inside the building for my first class on my first day of college.

  Clay

  I spent the morning in class and arrived back at my apartment after lunch. Late in the afternoon, Rob came home and turned on the X-Box.

  “You want some of this Halo action?” he asked.

  I nodded. “I’m always ready to kick your ass.”

  As we worked the controllers furiously, my mind wandered to Paige. The girl was beautiful in her own right, with her glossy, short dark hair and piercing green eyes. I usually only saw one of those eyes because her hair fell over one side of her face. I was sure I’d glimpsed a distortion there a couple of times. Where had it come from? She’d been hurt, but how?

  The thought of Paige hurting caused an ache to begin in my chest that I couldn’t explain. I didn’t want her hurting, ever. The way she was getting under my skin, making me care about her in such a short time was throwing me off-balance. It’d never happened to me before and I was torn. I wanted to keep her close and make her understand how I felt. Yet I also wanted to push her away all at the same time. Opening myself up to her meant she could have the power to hurt me. I’d never given a girl that kind of power.

  I paused the game and pulled my phone out of my pocket, wondering again if Paige was going to text me or call me today.

  The blank screen tanked my mood, and I sighed and held it in my hands as I stared off into space.

  Rob got up and shut off the game system. He turned to face me and crossed his arms.

  “I’m not an idiot, dude. You were distracted during the team run this morning, and you’re distracted now. I’ve never kicked your ass that thoroughly during Halo. I usually get a fight first. You don’t have to tell me what’s going on, but just know I’m here if you need to talk, man.”

  That was Rob for you. Drew probably would never notice if something was bothering me. I mean, he’d listen if I bitched about it. Sort of. But Rob was a different kind of friend. He noticed these things, and offered an ear if I needed it.

  “It’s this girl,” I admitted.

  He sat back down, put his hands behind his head, and leaned back.

  “Of course it is,” he said. “Not that I’ve ever seen you stressed about a girl before. But it had to happen eventually, right?”

  “I don’t know what she’s doing to me, man,” I admitted. “Do you know Gillian Byrnes? The fashionista who hangs at our parties sometimes?”

  “Yeah, she was here Saturday night,” Rob answered.

  “Right. Well, did you know that she has a roommate?”

  “No. Does she?”

  “Yeah. She does, dude. And she’s…she’s something else. Beautiful, feisty, adorably sweet and naive…all at the same time.”

  Rob rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then nodded and smiled. “You’re screwed.”

  Six

  Paige

  Clay: Meet me for coffee tonight. Bring your books or whatever you want, just come.

  I was floored when I received the text. I had no clue what I should do. I hadn’t really expected him to text me. Wasn’t he busy doing senior things? Or soccer player things? Or things with random girls?

  Gillian strode into the living room carrying her Chemistry textbook and sat on the couch. She flipped the television on and turned it to Ellen.

  “What’s up, chick?” she asked. “You look confused. It’s only the first week of classes, it can’t be that bad.”

  “It’s not classes,” I grumbled. “It’s Clay.”

  “Hey, now,” she said, and leaned forward to put her elbows on her legging-covered knees. “Clay? I thought we nipped that problem in the bud. Is he actually texting you?”

  She grabbed my phone and read the message from Clay.

  “Holy shit,” she breathed. “Clay Forbes wants to go out in public with you. He’s not texting to ask you to come over for a booty call. That is really not the Clay I know and love. What’d you do to him, Paige?”

  “I swear to you, Gill, I didn’t do anything. I actually embarrassed myself in front of him more than once. And he’s got girls throwing themselves at him, for heaven’s sake. What does he want with me?” I sighed and sat back against the couch cushions, rubbing my temples and squeezing my eyes shut.

  “Text him back,” she said suddenly.

  “What? I thought you would be the last person on Team Clay! All of this stuff about how I need to take things slow and ease into college life.”

  “I meant physically, Paige. Socially, I think you should jump right in. I would never have thought Clay would be a good direction to take if he hadn’t just asked you out on an actual date. This could be something. Trust me when I say he never does that.”

  I picked up my phone reluctantly and began typing.

  Paige: I’ll be there at 8. This is not a date.

  Clay

  The door kept opening, but Paige didn’t walk through. I was worried this girl would stand me up. I’d never been stood up before. Actually, I’d never waited on a girl in a public place before, so that’s why I’d never been stood up. I was out of my element, and it was doing crazy things to my stomach. This wild fluttering inside me caused me to keep pressing a hand to my gut. I checked my watch again. Ten after eight. The aroma of burnt coffee grounds assaulted my senses, and the hush of quiet conversation permeated the atmosphere in the coffeehouse.

  The little silver bell hanging over the door tingled as I checked my watch, and when I looked up again Paige filled the room.

  I meant it when I said she filled it. The room was threaded with students studying, talking softly, and drinking coffee. But when Paige entered it was like when dead things come alive again in the spring. She elicited curious glances from the girls, and double takes from the guys. I sat up a little straighter in my seat when I watched her.

  She spotted me, ducked her head shyly and walked over to the table I occupied. I took in her appearance as she walked, and I liked what I saw.

  Her dark jeans were tight, and her snug turquoise top showed just the right amount of cleavage. She was a petite girl, so the curve of her hips and rise of her breasts were compatible to her body type. She was small all over, but damn if I didn’t imagine those hips fitting into the palms of my hands.

  I cleared my throat and shook my head as she neared me and stood. Her jewel-toned eyes met mine and a blush crept into her cheeks. I liked that. She was different than any of the girls who usually surrounded me. They oozed confidence, like they knew exactly what they wanted and were willing to play any game I wanted in order to get it. Paige actually seemed shy, as if she hadn’t done this much. I should welcome her to th
e club.

  Was Paige’s wariness because of me? Or was this her normal?

  “I was afraid you weren’t coming,” I admitted, standing.

  “I thought about it,” she answered, and I grinned.

  I pulled out her chair for her and she sat, loaded down with books. I sat down across from her.