Out Of The Ashes

by Diana Gardin

  She blushed, and the rose-colored tinge against her skin intoxicated me. She caught me staring and dropped her head, hiding behind her hair.

  I leaned forward and set my plate down on the table. When I was free of it I leaned in toward her. I couldn’t sit there any longer without kissing her.

  That’s when we heard the patter of rain outside, and Paige jumped up.

  “Crap! My windows! My windows are down in my car, and it’s pouring out!” She rushed for the door.

  “Wait, Paige, I’ll go—“ I bent to grab my crutches, but I wasn’t fast enough with the damn bum ankle. She was out the door before I could manage to hobble after her.

  I sank back into the cushions and groaned. Paige was irresistible to me. I wasn’t sure if she was ready for me to make a move tonight, but I couldn’t help wanting to touch her. I wanted to feel her lips on mine again, and pour all of those emotions inside of her right into me.

  The door opened, and she walked back inside. Her shoes were squishing as she walked, and I looked up at her.

  She was soaked. It must have been raining harder than I’d thought, because her clothes were stuck to her body. The pink tank top she was wearing was like a second skin now, and her curves were calling my name. I stood without realizing I was doing it, leaning on my good foot.

  She stared at me, maybe trying to read the intense expression in my eyes. I stared right back, refusing to be the first to break the connection.

  She didn’t look away from me as she said, “I think I should go change.”

  She took a couple of steps backward, and then turned and fled down the short hallway to the last door on the left.

  Fourteen

  Paige

  I was a statue in the middle of my room. Shit, shit, shit. The look I had seen in Clay’s eyes was too familiar, because it’s the same look he saw reflected in mine. He wanted me. I don’t know if it was the fact that I had made him dinner, or if he was thinking about the kiss we shared the other night. It had been one hell of a kiss. I’d never experienced anything like it, and I knew that being with Clay intimately would be heavenly.

  It would also change me in ways I wasn’t ready for.

  Could I do it? No…the damage the burns did to the skin beneath my clothes was too extensive. I didn’t want anyone to see that. Especially not Clay, with all of his beauty and perfection. I would be hideous to him. And his rejection would kill me.

  I looked up, and focused on the full-length mirror standing across the room. Clay’s reflection stared back.

  I froze, a statue again as he limped slowly toward me, unhindered by his crutches. He was silent as he stopped behind me, close enough for his warm breath to tickle my neck as he leaned down.

  My body trembled, and pulled air into my lungs to steady myself.

  “Do you need help?” he whispered into my ear, and my knees went a little weak at the closeness and the tickle of his words against my skin.

  He caught me, wrapping both arms around my waist, and I couldn’t stop the sigh that escaped me as I leaned into him, letting him cradle me in his arms.

  “Maybe,” I breathed. I didn’t know what else to say. Telling Clay Forbes “no” was nearly impossible.

  And I didn’t want to.

  He reached down and grabbed the hem of my tank top, tugging gently. I was so thankful for the semi-darkness of my room; the only light entered from a lamp in the hallway. I didn’t think he could really see me. At least not the parts I wanted to stay hidden. He pulled ever so slowly, his eyes never leaving mine in the mirror as the shirt exposed the skin of my stomach.

  He lifted the tank over my head and a soft plop reached my ears as it dropped to the floor behind me. I was so exposed standing there in just my bra, and yet so comfortable standing in Clay’s arms at the same tine. Clay’s hands caressed my stomach gently, and he leaned down to my ear again. I was glad I had the foresight to wear a pretty, matching bra and panty set. The black lace sparkled faintly in the light from the hallway.

  “This might be the softest skin I’ve ever felt,” he said, his voice hoarse.

  I felt his lips on my shoulder and a whimper escaped me before I could stop it. His breath caught in his throat, and he swallowed hard.

  “Your pants are wet, too,” he said, letting his fingers trail down the sides of my body.

  I just nodded. My eyes were closed and my head was tilted back against his shoulder.

  He reached around me, inhaling deeply at my neck, planting soft kisses on my skin. He slipped his fingers beneath the top of my soft pants, feeling gently along the top edge of my underwear. Then he hooked his thumbs in the fabric, letting the pants slip down over my hips. He gently nudged me forward, and then knelt down behind me. He slid my yoga pants down my legs, and as he went his lips brushed the side of my thigh. The back of my knee. The muscle of my calf.

  Oh Lord, I had survived a fire once. But Clay was going to set me aflame again in a new and beautiful way.

  I had never been this close to any guy before. My relationship with Beau had been chaste compared to this. Clay was exceeding any expectation I could have had for this level of closeness. I glanced down as he reached my ankles, and agreeably stepped out of my pants one leg at a time.

  He inched back up my body with his hands, cupping them around my legs as he rose. Now I was standing there in nothing but my bra and panties, which was the closest to naked I had ever been with a man.

  He returned to his previous spot, holding me close to him as he whispered in my ear.

  “You are beyond sexy, Paige, and I don’t even think you realize it. That’s the best part about it. You’re an incredible turn-on.”

  He spun me to face him and I found his eyes burning holes into mine. Smoldering.

  He bent to kiss me. “You’re on fire,” he murmured.

  My eyes slid shut against my will, and my breathing began to come fast and hard.

  Oh, no. Not now. Please not now.

  Clay’s rising voice sounded faint, somewhere in the distance. “Paige? Don’t do this to me, Paige. Come back to me.”

  I stumbled backwards as images I wished I could forget began to press their way into my consciousness. My mother’s face, covered in soot, her mouth wide open as she shouted directions to save her family. My big brother’s eyes wide with fear as the orange flames were reflected in them. My dad, lying unconscious on the floor…

  “Paige! Paige! Baby, come back to me. Look at me, Paige,”

  Clay’s voice was strong and commanding, and I snapped into focus as I looked at him.

  I was sitting on the floor, and he was kneeling in front of me, cradling my face in his hands. I looked down and noticed that I was wearing next to nothing, and I scrambled away from him like a spider, moving as quickly as I could.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said softly. “I’m right here. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

  I stared at him, breathing too quickly. I sat perfectly still and counted backward from ten in my head.

  He slowly crawled over to where I was sitting, and tentatively put his arms around me. His embrace was a small piece of heaven.

  “God, Paige, I wish you’d tell me what happened to you. Your eyes were so far away, and you were moaning things I couldn’t understand…why does this happen to you?”

  His strong hands caressed tiny circles on my back to soothe me.

  I finally allowed myself to lean into him, as hot tears soaked my face.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, unable to contain my anguish. “I can’t do this with you. I…I just can’t.”

  Clay

  I had never been so scared in my life. I gazed at Paige, safe in my arms now and wearing comfy little shorts and a tank top. We were sprawled out on the couch together and I was still wondering what had happened to set her off back in her bedroom.

  We had been like a single organism in there. I had absorbed all of the heat between us and given it back to her tenfold.

  And
suddenly, she was just gone. She was terrified and mumbling to herself. Something about “no, won’t leave you” and “too hot to breathe.”

  Paige had obviously been through something incredibly traumatic, and maybe not too long ago.

  I rubbed her shoulder with my left hand as she snuggled into my side, and I breathed in her spicy-sweet scent with relief. She was okay now. I could help her through whatever this was.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered again, for maybe the fifth time.

  “Paige, stop apologizing,” I said, frustrated. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe I did. You’re so seductive to me, Paige; I had to follow you and I needed to touch you. But now I feel like I should have left you alone.”

  She sighed. “I don’t want you to leave me alone, Clay.”

  She turned in my arms until her face was turned up toward mine. She wrapped her arms around my neck.

  “I wanted to be with you just as much as you wanted to be with me. I just have things going on in my head that…that I can’t control. I want all of these memories gone, but I just can’t…I can’t get rid of them. No matter how hard I try.”

  “What memories?”

  She shook her head. “I’m not ready to talk about it. I’m sorry for that too. Because I think that when I tell you, you may run. Far, far away from me, Clay. I need more time.”

  “Well, you have all the time you want. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just starting to care about you more and more, and I feel like I need to know what bothers you this much. When you’re ready to share it, I’ll listen. And I’ll stay.”

  I looked at my watch, and realized it was late. “I should probably go.”

  She placed her hands on either side of my face. “Don’t,” she whispered.

  “Don’t what?” My heartbeat took off.

  “Don’t go. Stay with me.”

  Well, damn. There was no way under the sun I would ever be able to say no to this girl. She had me wrapped around her little finger in a matter of weeks. How attached would I be to her when I’d known her for months? Years?

  I could only imagine, and the vision was sweet.

  “Lead the way,” I answered softly.

  We headed back to her room, where she pulled back her covers and climbed into her bed. She looked ridiculously sexy in her little white shorts with PINK written across her bottom. Could I sleep next to her tonight and not try to touch her?

  I sure as hell would try.

  She held the corner of the covers up and slid over to make room for me.

  “Come on,” she said with a small smile. “I won’t bite.”

  Inwardly, I groaned. She didn’t understand what she did to me.

  I stripped off my shirt while she watched, biting her bottom lip. She was so adorable. I wanted to take a bite of that lip, too.

  I climbed in beside her. We both lay on our sides and stared at each other. She grinned, and I raised an eyebrow in question.

  “Have you ever spent the night in a girl’s bed without having sex?” she asked, curiosity and mirth sparkling in her eyes.

  I understood the humor now, and chuckled. “No,” I admitted. “But I’m happy you’re my first.”

  She sighed and snuggled in closer. “Me too.”

  She was frail in my arms, thin and fragile. She could probably stand to eat a little more fat and calories.

  “Have you always been so petite?” I asked her cautiously, not wanting to offend her.

  “Not really,” she answered. “Just in the past year or so. I’m slowly getting back to normal, though.”

  Every time I was with her, I grabbed another piece of the puzzle that was Paige Hill. All the pieces I’d collected were separate entities; I needed to figure out how they fit together.

  I kissed the sleek hair brushing against my face. “Sleep,” I told her. “Hurry, because I can’t wait to wake up next to you in the morning.”

  The corners of my lips tilted up at the sound of her breathless giggle before I closed my eyes.

  Fifteen

  Paige

  Glittering morning sunlight tickled my closed eyelids, stirring me awake. The smell of Clay’s fresh, spicy cologne wafted across my nose and last night flashed back into my mind. I tensed. Had I dreamed the fact I had asked him to spend the night with me?

  Opening my eyes, I looked down and saw two well-muscled arms encircling my waist. I squeezed them shut again and sent up a silent prayer thanking God for keeping this man in my bed all night long.

  When I opened my eyes again, Clay was stirring, his fingers flexing. Stretching his arms. I turned around to face him.

  He opened his eyes and they widened a little as they focused on me. “Holy shit,” he breathed. “That really happened.”

  He tightened his hold on me and I grinned at our similar thoughts.

  “It really did,” I smiled. “And so this is a very good morning.”

  “Very, very good,” he murmured. Then his lips met mine and it was warm and sweet and delicious.

  I pulled back, groaning softly. “I have class this morning.”

  “I would ask you to skip it, but I plan on spending a lot of mornings this way. Every one, if it’s up to me. And I guess I can’t ask you to skip class and stay in bed with me every time.”

  “You better not,” I scolded him. “I am not failing out my freshman year.”

  I pushed the covers back and sat up.

  “Well, I don’t have class till ten. So I’m just going to go find some coffee and then hang out on campus hoping to catch a glimpse of you.”

  I laughed. “You don’t have to hope. I’ll just text you when I’m done with my two classes. We can meet for lunch after yours?”

  “Date,” he said.

  I watched sadly as he climbed out of my bed. At some point in the night he had ditched his jeans, and he was wearing nothing but his navy blue boxer briefs. Oh my.

  “Um, I’m going to go make some coffee. Come on out when you get dressed and I’ll make you a to-go cup.”

  He grinned, a mischievous tilt of his lips. “Are you feeling shy now? It’s too late for that, Paige. You hooked me. So expect to see more of this very soon.”

  He picked up his jeans and stepped in, one perfectly muscled leg at a time.

  I hurried out of the room and ran straight into Gillian who was leaning sleepily against the kitchen counter, already shaking coffee grounds into the Mr. Coffee.

  “Hey chick,” she yawned. “Coffee’ll be ready in a few.”

  She groaned loudly. “Geez, you forgot to text me last night. I stayed out way too late waiting for your date to leave. How’d it--”

  Her eyes went so wide it was almost comical when Clay walked out of my room and came sauntering down the hallway towards us.

  “Morning, Gill,” he greeted her with a smile.

  He bent down and kissed my cheek.

  “I gotta go home and shower and make sure I’m dappered up for our lunch date,” he said. “I’ll grab a coffee later. Thanks.”

  “Okay,” I answered. “See you later, Clay.”

  He framed my face with both hands. “I will see you later, beautiful. Last night meant something to me. I’ve never left a girl in the morning already counting the minutes until I could see her again. You’re special, Paige.”

  He bent his face down so his lips could caress mine. Then he winked at Gillian and walked out the front door.

  I spun toward Gillian and waited for the eruption I knew was building.

  She dropped her stainless steel coffee mug to the floor and went running down the hallway, screaming at the top of her lungs. She stopped at the door to my bedroom and stared at the unmade, rumpled bed. Then she came running back down the hallway toward the kitchen again.

  “Paige. Marie. Hill!” she screamed. “You have just said goodbye to a guy in the morning. Holy shit! Details. Now! Did you—“

  “No,” I said quickly. “We slept together, but we didn’t sleep together. We were, uh, sort of starting to
, you know, mess around and I, um, had one of my attacks.”

  “Oh, sweetie,” Gillian breathed, nibbling her lip. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

  “I’m totally okay,” I assured her. “I just wish they’d go away. Because now I have a sex life. And they are serious cock blockers.”