Secrets On Lake Drive

by Tina Martin

  “Alright. Later.”

  It had been a rough week. Not only had my father died, but I just found out I had a brother and at the same time, I had admitted to Sean that I loved him. It was a very long weekend indeed.

  My cell vibrated again. Who is it this time? I picked up the phone to look at the number. It was Deborah.

  “What?” That’s how I answered the phone. My mother never called me with good news. She only called to whine and complain about something.

  “That was so rude of you, Monica Ann. You wouldn’t even come to eat with the family after the funeral.”

  I never did understand the logic of having a meal right after you put someone six feet into the earth. One minute, people are crying and shouting over a dead loved one, then the next, their fighting over the last little bit of macaroni and cheese, shoveling food down their throats like there’s no tomorrow. And I don’t know why Deborah was trippin’. I could care less how rude she thought I was.

  “Deborah, don’t call me with this nonsense. I’m grown. You no longer are in a position to make my decisions for me anymore. If I don’t want to go somewhere, then guess what? I’m not going and there’s nothing you can do about it.” She was getting under my skin, thinking she could call and snap on me. “And another thing, don’t call me anymore! Besides being a lousy mother, you’ve also become a bearer of bad news, and quite honestly, I don’t care if I ever hear from you again.”

  I know that was a harsh thing to say to the woman that birthed me into the world, but I didn’t care. Neither of my parents cared about me, so I took that same attitude with them. Back then, the only people who ever cared about me was Keisha and Cornelius. And it was my parents who made me give up Cornelius’ baby for adoption. Had I defied their authority, Cornelius and I would probably be happily married, living somewhere in Milwaukee with another baby on the way.

  I ended the phone call with Deborah. I meant what I said. I didn’t want to hear from her ever again.

  I had planned on running out to get some lunch, maybe McDonalds or Culvers, but it was so cold out I decided to settle for a pepperoni Hot Pocket. It was close to one o’clock in the afternoon. I wasn’t expecting Kevin until four. So, I showered, put on a pair of dark blue jeans, a pink sweater and my fluffy pink snow boots, and drove over to Keisha’s house.

  “Hey, girl,” she said, greeting me with a hug at the door.

  “Hey.”

  “So how are you holding up with everything?”

  “I’m doing really well…better than I expected. I didn’t mention this to you yesterday, but guess what? At the funeral, I found out that I have a brother.”

  “What!”

  “That’s what I was thinking when he first told me. His name is Kevin Smith.”

  “Girl, that’s crazy. So y’all have the same mother?”

  “No…we have, or should I say had, the same father. So anyway, I invited him over to my apartment the night of the funeral and we talked.”

  “When am I going to meet him?”

  “It won’t be long.”

  “…and what happened with Sean?”

  “We worked it out.”

  “Worked what out?”

  “Our differences.”

  “Sooo…are y’all together now?”

  “Yep.”

  “Well, it’s about freakin’ time, and I mean that in more ways than one.” I laughed at her response. “So what’s going to happen now? Are you moving back in his crib?”

  “We haven’t talked about that yet.”

  “Are you happy about this?”

  “Yeah, I’m very happy.”

  “But…”

  “How did you know there would be a but?”

  “Because I know you. So what’s the but?”

  “Well, Sean is a very attractive man, and I don’t want to be fighting women off of him all the time.”

  “Girl, please. You don’t have to worry about that. Sean is so in love with you, he can’t even see other women.”

  “And how would you know he’s that much in love with me?”

  “Because...I just know.”

  “How can you know something like that? You weren’t even hanging around me that much when I was living with Sean.”

  “Okay, okay. I didn’t tell you this before. I know I should have, so don’t be mad at me. But for the past two months, Sean has been calling me every week to check on you.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yep. Just a couple of weeks ago, he wanted me to tell you that he loved you. Then he broke down and cried. I felt so bad for him because I knew that man loved you, and I knew deep down inside that you loved him, too, no matter how hard you tried to fake it.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah, I knew.”

  “Wow. I can’t believe he called you and you didn’t tell me.” I nudged Keisha. “And what have you been telling him about me anyway?”

  “I told him that you were working. And when he told me how much he loved you, I was like, ‘Awww’.”

  So my best friend had been giving Sean updates on me. I couldn’t be mad at her, though. That little scheme had Sean’s name written all over it. If he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t care what I was doing.

  I LEFT KEISHA’S house in just enough time to meet Kevin, who arrived promptly at four, back at my apartment.

  “So, where did we leave off?” I questioned him, as we sat on the couch in the same manner as we did on his first visit to my place.

  “Ah, I’m not sure. We got off to a good start, though.”

  “Well, I have a question for you. Did you have a relationship with our father?”

  “Yeah. He was always there. He was at my graduation. He stopped by to visit me from time to time. We weren’t the best of friends, but we had somewhat of a relationship. He was at the hospital when Ciara was born.”

  What! My father, the man who agreed with my mother that I shouldn’t keep my baby, was playing granddaddy to Kevin’s daughter. I was fuming. I was so upset, I was ready to end the conversation and tell Kevin to leave. Kevin could read my sudden mood swing.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Ah…uh…yeah, I’m okay.”

  “You seem to be a little troubled.”

  My eyes teared up. “It’s just that my father was never there for me, and ah…he made me give my little boy away…” I stopped, not wanting to overwhelm Kevin with my complaints about our father.

  “You have a son? I didn’t know you had children.”

  “Yeah, I have a son. My parents made me give him up for adoption as soon as he was born.”

  “What! Why?”

  “I was young, just about to graduate high school.”

  “And why didn’t they want you to keep the baby?”

  “Because I was in high school and had college ahead of me. They said they didn’t want me to ruin my life. Going to college was required no matter what.”

  There I sat on couch getting angry, again. I wanted to tell Kevin to leave…I really did, but I didn’t want to be rude.

  “Kevin, excuse me for a moment.”

  I went into my bedroom and shut the door. I was a mess. It was not fair to me that my father accepted Kevin’s little girl but not my sweet, innocent little Eric. Kevin had his daughter with him, while my son was in this world without me. I wiped my eyes and tried to pull myself together to return to Kevin in the living room. When I did, he was standing up.

  “Monica, I’m sorry. I made you upset.”

  “No, Kevin, it’s not your fault. My parents did this to me, not you.”

  Kevin walked over and hugged me. “I know, but I’m sorry. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “I know you need your space right now so I’m going to go.”

  Just as I watched Kevin drive off, Sean pulled up in the truck, and boy, I was happy to see him. I needed to be close to someone who loved me. I hurried up and dried my face, not wanting Sean to know that I was crying. I greete
d him at the door. He had brought a dozen red roses for me, but when he saw my face, he put the roses on the coffee table and immediately wrapped me into his arms. There was no other feeling like that – to have him comfort me and give me his complete attention like I was the only thing in the world that mattered to him.

  “Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” He took me by the hand and we sat on the couch together.

  “I’m fine now that you’re here.”

  “Monica, you know I don’t like it when you keep things from me.”

  “I know.”

  “Then talk to me, baby.”

  “Kevin was just here. I asked him if my father had a relationship with him and he said yes. Then he said my father was at the hospital when his daughter was born. But when Eric was born, they made me give him away.”

  I doubt if Sean could make out the last few sentences of my tearful explanation, but he sure tried to comfort me as best as he could. Sean wiped my eyes with his soft fingers.

  “Well, that’s about to change. You don’t have to cry anymore, because I’m here and I’ll always be here for you. Always.”

  “You mean that?”

  “Yeah, I mean that. I love you.”

  I needed to hear those words from him more than anything.

  “I love you, too.”

  When Sean grabbed me into his arms again, I closed my eyes and took a few quick deep breaths. I could feel my worries drifting away from me.

  “Sean, can you stay with me tonight?”

  “Of course, I can.” Sean took off his suit jacket and loosened his necktie, while I went to get a Kleenex. “Have you had anything to eat?” Sean asked when I returned.

  “No. I’m not really hungry.”

  “Yeah, but you need to eat something, baby.”

  “I know.”

  “I’ll order pizza. Is that okay?”

  I was in a daze, staring at Sean as he talked. I loved the way he just took control.

  “Monica…did you hear me?”

  “Yeah. Pizza sounds fine.”

  “Ah’ight.”

  Sean ordered a large deep-dish pepperoni, ham, and sausage pizza from Pizza Hut, and we sat in the living room and ate. It was now about ten o’clock, and my eyes were heavier than a pair of ten-pound weights. I had already dozed off a couple of times throughout the movie, using Sean’s shoulder for my personal pillow.

  “I’m going to go to bed,” I told him, with my arms still wrapped around his muscular body.

  “Okay. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  “I wish I had some men’s clothing so you could change into something a little more comfortable.”

  “You better not have any men’s clothing lying around here.”

  We both laughed. Then Sean unbuttoned his shirt while asking me where his goodnight hug was. Talk about enticing…if I kept on staring, I was going to jump on him. He walked over to me with a smile gracing his beautiful face, took my hands, and placed them on his firm body. I finished the hug with my arms stretched around him. My head was up against his chest, right where I liked it to be. He smelled so good, like Cool Water mixed with aftershave lotion. We held each other a little longer. Neither of us wanted to let go first.

  “You better go ahead and get into bed before you fall asleep right here.” He said it, but he didn’t want me to go to bed. I knew because he squeezed me tighter than a boa constrictor hungry for a meal.

  “I wouldn’t mind going to sleep right here,” I said, while planting little kisses on his tight chest. I didn’t want to go to bed alone. I wanted him to wrap those huge muscles around me and hold me.

  “Really? So does that mean I don’t have to sleep on the couch?” Sean withdrew from me so he could completely see my face.

  I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. I couldn’t believe I did it so suddenly, but I did. One minute, I was talking about going to bed. The next, my tongue was playing with Sean’s taste buds.

  He picked me up and carried me into the bedroom, laying me on my unmade bed. Looks like he won’t be sleeping on the couch after all.

  I finished taking his shirt off and he climbed on top of me to initiate a kiss of his own. Before I knew it, my white t-shirt was over my head and on the floor. So were my jeans. The only things I had on me were some Hanes cotton bikini panties and Sean, and I wore him like an infant wears a onesie. His pants were on the floor, too, and he wore some silk, silver boxers that were so smooth, I couldn’t distinguish the boxers from his well-maintained skin. Sean moved away from my lips and kissed and pulled on my neck like a suction cup.

  I thought that being with him would be awkward since I wasn’t used to being touched by a man, but I felt comfortable with Sean. It had been a long time since I’ve been loved like this. Every time Sean touched me, my body jerked, and I was breathing so heavily I could see my chest going up and down.

  “Oh, Sean, baby…you’re too much man for me,” I whispered in his ear. “I don’t know if I can handle you.”

  Sean looked me in my eyes. “We’re just kissing right now, baby. If you can’t handle this, you’re really going to be in trouble.” We laughed together. “Besides, you’ve been doing a good job of handling me so far. Don’t…be…scared…now,” Sean said between kisses.

  We kissed and held each other for most of the night, and though there was no sex, it sure felt like we had made love. I don’t know which turned me on more – the passionate kissing or his self-control. I knew Sean wanted to make love to me. I wanted to make love to him, too, but we didn’t go there.

  “I can’t believe we’re together like this,” Sean said, as he stroked my hair.

  “I can’t believe it either. I thought you hated me.”

  “Nah, I thought you hated me.”

  “Whatever, Sean. I was always nice to you, and if I did cop an attitude, it’s because you had one first.”

  “Ah’ight, ah’ight.” He couldn’t argue with me on that one.

  “So do you really think this can work between us?” I asked him.

  “Of course, I do. Why? Do you have doubts?”

  “It’s still early in our…uh…”

  “Relationship? It’s okay to say it. Now say it with me. Re-la-tion-ship.”

  I laughed at Sean’s silliness. “It seems so weird just saying that.”

  “You’ll get used to it.”

  “It just feels like this happened all of a sudden.”

  “If you ask me, it’s been happening all along. I was checkin’ you from the beginning. I still remember the day I came to your class. You were wearing that tight skirt and had your hair all pinned up, looking all sophisticated.”

  “My skirt was not tight.”

  “Yeah, it was. But my favorite outfit of yours is the sundress you wore when you went out shopping with Keisha that day. And you wore your hair down. I like it when you wear your hair down. It brings out those big, bright eyes of yours. And that dress showed all of your curves.”

  “Oh, so you’re only interested in my body?”

  “I’m interested in your body, your likes, your wants, your desires…the person you are on the inside as well as on the outside.”

  “Good, because the person I am on the inside is falling deeper in love with you by the minute.”

  Sean smiled. “Good.” He ran his index fingers up and down my back. “Monica, I’m serious about us. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “I mean it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  “You are something else. You know that?” I closed my eyes while Sean fondled my hair. “What on earth did I do to deserve you?” Sean’s smile disappeared when I asked him the question.

  “You loved me. That’s all I ever wanted, and the bond between us can never be broken. I’m going to love you forever.” He kissed the tip of my nose, then closed his eyes.

  Sean had me hooked. I don’t even think I had fallen for Cornelius that fast. But Sean was ready for my love and I was ready to
give it to him.

  Sean skipped work so we could spend the day together. First thing in the morning, I took a shower, got dressed, then rode with Sean back over to his house. As soon as we walked through the front door, I saw my Roman. It almost seemed as if he knew I was going to be coming. He had a certain look about him, but maybe that’s only because we’d been apart for so long. He ran up to give me a hug.

  “I missed you, Mommy.”

  “I missed you, sweetheart.”

  Roman was so happy to see me that he started crying.

  Sean went upstairs to shower while I sat in the family room with Roman and Victoria.

  “Roman, go get me a glass of water, baby?” I knew Victoria was sending Roman away so she could flood me with questions. I could tell she was itching to know what was up with me and Sean.

  “So how have you been, Monica?”

  “I’ve been okay, Mama V.”

  “I’m sorry about your father.”

  “Thanks.”

  “It’s been different without you around here. We all missed you.”

  “I missed you guys, too.”

  “So I assume you and Sean are okay now?”

  “Yeah, we’re okay.”

  “Actually, we’re more than okay. Monica told me last night that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me,” Sean said from around the door, even though he was the one who said those words to me.

  He had a glass of grapefruit juice in his hand. And he was dressed nice, too. He had on a blue Nautica sweater, a pair of dark jeans, and some black Timberland boots.

  “That’s wonderful.” Victoria was beside herself.

  “Are you ready to go, baby?” Sean walked over to the couch and extended his hand to me. I clutched it and he pulled me up. Just as he did, Roman came in with Victoria’s glass of water. “We’re taking Roman with us, so you don’t have to stay around here if you don’t want to, Ma.”

  “Alright. Y’all have fun.”

  “Bye, Grandma.”

  “Bye, Roman. See you later.”

  We started off the day by eating breakfast, then we went to Mayfair Mall. Sean wanted to do some shopping for Roman and I did a little shopping myself. We had lunch around one-thirty, then we went back to Sean’s house.