by Tina Martin
I had refused the proposal, but only because I wasn’t ready to get married at that time in my life. I was young, still in high school, and couldn’t see myself being somebody’s housewife while watching my life go by.
“I’m sorry I deceived you.” Sean sniffed a couple of times.
I hated to see him cry. It hurt me to the core to see him hurt, especially knowing how much of a strong man he is.
“Sean, I have to be honest with you. I feel like our marriage is a lie. Everything involving our union is all based on lies.”
“That’s not true.”
“That’s how I feel!” I yelled back. “From the day you walked in my classroom, you knew me. You knew everything about me and you pretended like it was the first time we met, when the reality was you already knew me! We had a relationship, we laughed together, took walks together. We had sex. You had my body. You knew my mind. You knew everything about me and pretended you didn’t know anything all. The times I spent talking to you about my life and about my past were all for nothing because you already knew everything.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I did. I can’t argue with that.”
“And that night we were making love and you started crying…it was about this?”
“Yes.”
“And when I went into the hospital, you wanted to stay with me because you were in love with me?”
“Yes.”
I smeared tears all over my face, while trying to wipe my eyes. “So what do you expect me to do, Sean? Now that I know all of this, what do you want from me?”
“I want you to forgive me.”
“Forgive who? Sean or Cornelius? Who am I talking to right now?”
“You are talking to me, your husband. Look, Monica, I made a mistake, and trust me, if I could change what I did, I would. But I cannot go back and change the past no more than you can sit here and tell me that our marriage is a lie when you know it’s not. Our marriage means more to me than anything in this world. I love you, and I did what I had to do to keep our family together.” Sean started bawling as he sat there on the edge of the recliner. “I love you. I have loved you since the day we shared that bag of Cheetos and watched reruns of Good Times.”
I laughed and cried at the same time. Sean cracked a smile, too, while wiping his eyes.
“Can you come here?” he asked me.
I walked over to Sean and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me. “Do you love me?” he asked. We were both a mess. His face was turning a shade of red and his eyes were full of water.
“Yes, I love you.” I smiled as I ran my hands across his hair. “I’m very much in love with you. You know that.” I wrapped my arms tight around him and took a deep breath of his smell. Mmm, he smelled so good.
“I missed you, Monica.”
“I missed you, too, Sean.”
I stood up so I could get into a good position to straddle him, and when I did, we kissed each other like we were never going to see each other again. At that moment, I wanted him more than any other time we’ve ever made love.
“Baby,” Sean called me in the middle of our groping and lip smacking, “we should go home.”
“Mmm huh,” I mumbled, not taking my lips off of him. I kissed his lips, eyes, forehead, nose, ears. I even kissed his chin. I missed my boo.
“Monica, baby…let’s go home before we start something in here.”
“Okay.” I climbed off of him to grab some things in a hurry. Then we were out the door.
AS SOON AS we arrived home and walked in the front door, Sean carried me up the stairs to our bedroom, laid me on the bed. Then he climbed on top of me and stuck to me like crazy glue.
I trembled at his forward advances. The feeling of making love to him after finding out he was my Cornelius was too much for me to wrap my head around. It almost felt like I was with Sean and Cornelius at the same time. Come to think about it, I was. With that thought in my head, every time Sean’s lips touched me I jerked. Then I just started crying. There was so much pressure on me I could hardly breathe.
“Hey…baby, are you okay?”
“No,” was my tearful answer.
“What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
“I just…I just feel like my heart is going to explode. This is a lot of pressure. You are too much for me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, we’re going to make love now, and it’s like since I know now who you really are, I just feel like I felt the first time we made love. It’s a bit overwhelming.”
“Look at me,” Sean said, waiting for me to do as he instructed. “Who do you see?”
“I see you.”
“Who am I?”
“You’re my husband.”
“What’s my name?” he asked me, while brushing the tears off of my face. “What’s my name, Monica?” he asked a second time.
“Sean.”
“That’s who is going to make love to you right now.”
We made love, passionately, desperately mending our marriage through physical contact and after an hour or so, Sean got out of the bed and stepped into the bathroom, while I laid there on top of the covers.
“I’m going to the kitchen,” he said, walking out of the bathroom naked. “You want something to drink?”
“Will you bring me a glass of juice?”
“Sure, baby.”
After Sean ran downstairs, I slipped on my black, silk robe and went to the bathroom to brush my wild hair back down.
“Here you go.” Sean handed me the glass, then sat down next to me on the bed.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He kept staring at me while I drank my orange juice. “I didn’t think you would want me back after I told you the truth. I thought I was going to lose you.”
“We have too much history just to walk away from each other forever.”
“I know, but that night I confessed everything and you were packing your bag, I thought it was over.”
“I love you way too much to just leave you and never look back. I didn’t answer the phone because I didn’t know what to say to you. I was still trying to understand why you did what you did.”
“So you understand now?”
“Yes.”
“And you still love me regardless?”
“Sean, I will love you forever. You, Roman, Mama V, Warren, Derrick, Dallas, Damarion, Nikki, and our new baby.”
“New baby?”
“Yes.” I didn’t know how else to tell him. I figured then was just as good as any other time I could’ve chosen.
“You’re pregnant?”
“Yes…I think I’m about two months.”
Sean pulled me up off of the bed so he could engulf me with a hug. Then he took my robe off before I sat down so he could put his face up against my stomach in the same manner he did when I told him that I was pregnant with Roman.
Epilogue
Sean was overcome with joy when I told him that I was pregnant. He almost cried he was so happy. Being the wonderful husband that he was, he made time to come to all of my doctor appointments. He completely catered to me. He massaged my swollen feet, ran my baths, and cooked dinner – he spoiled me rotten. Sometimes, he would sit and stare at my belly in complete awe. I couldn’t fault him for that, though. He didn’t get to enjoy my pregnancy with Roman, so I guess he was making up for lost time. And boy was Roman excited to know that he was going to be a big brother.
Sean’s family forgave him after he confessed that Roman was his real son, our son. I forgave him, too. I think the family knew Roman was Sean’s biological son anyway. He looked too much like Sean for them not to be related. And like Sean said, Roman had his looks but my personality.
Warren kept coming over to our house as he usually did. He kept his life simple and remained single. He said he didn’t want a woman driving him crazy. I laughed at him. He was right. I sure did drive Sean crazy. Some days I don’t know how he put up with me.
Derrick s
witched girlfriends, or shall I say shawties. He changed girlfriends like he changed clothes. We never knew who he would show up with when he and the boys came over. I guess some men don’t realize how empty a life that can be.
Nikki told me that she met the most amazing guy when she went to Chicago. She said they were steppin’ all night. He was about seven years younger than her, but that’s cool. I was eight years younger than Sean and we were doing just fine. I could tell she really liked this mystery guy. I’ve never seen the girl smile so much.
Victoria was as happy as she could be when she learned I was with child. Every time she came by the house, she would run up to me and say, “Let me give my grandbaby some sugar.” I’m sure she was ready to do more spoiling as she’d done with Roman.
My girl Keisha got engaged to her Brian McKnight look-a-like. Daryl was the perfect man for her. They were planning on getting married June of next year. By then, I would be back in shape so I could be her matron of honor.
Over the months, I also came to know Kevin more and more, realizing how much we were alike. He also liked to take pictures, and he was thinking about joining me when I returned to college next year.
Ciara and Roman were pretty much inseparable, and Chandra had become one of my best friends. We spent many nights watching chic flicks with Keisha and Nikki in the family room.
Sean encouraged me to develop a relationship with my mother. He said he didn’t want me under any stress while I was carrying. So, for the past few months, I told Deborah to come by the house as often as she liked. She would check on me and make sure I was taking my prenatal vitamins and eating right, but Sean was already making sure of that.
I finished out the spring semester of photography classes, but I skipped the fall semester. It was hard enough being pregnant, but it was even harder trying to get up at the crack of dawn to go to classes while carrying twins. I didn’t want to wear myself out.
Sean and I grew closer than ever before. I give the credit to him for that. Since he confessed he was indeed the Cornelius that I had fell in love with back in the day, it felt like our relationship had come full circle. Sean was my fairytale, my happy ending that I thought I would never realize.
I gave birth to our twin daughters in December. One of them weighed four pounds, seven ounces and the other was four pounds, nine ounces. They both were eighteen inches long. Being that they were a couple of weeks premature, they had to stay in the hospital for a few days before we were able to take them home.
We named our first one Mikayla, after my sister that passed away. My mother cried when she found out I did that. She was so happy. It was Sean’s idea. We named our other baby girl Mackenzie, a name Victoria chose. My little light-skinned princesses were so precious. They both had full heads of curly black hair like Sean and those same dazzling green eyes. Keisha said they looked so much like Sean that it seemed like he carried them for the better part of nine months instead of me.
Sean had the bedroom across the hall from our bedroom converted into a nursery for the girls. He had an interior decorator come in to do the whole design. It was a beautiful sky theme of powder blue walls and clouds, with glow-in-the-dark stars painted on the ceiling above. Flowers were painted on the wall closer to the floor. The room fit my beautiful little ladies well.
IT SURE WAS strange the way we turned out, but the ups and downs were all a part of life. And that second chance that I longed for came to me in disguise. My first love was with me all along, and he was still very much in love with me, too. I got that second chance I wanted so desperately, and I was never going to take our love for granted. Never.
Next summer, after Keisha’s wedding, we’re all going to Haiti on vacation for a couple of weeks. Sean said he wanted me to see where he grew up and to experience Haiti firsthand – the food, art, culture, and beautiful beaches. I couldn’t wait to get there. It would be the experience of a lifetime that I would get to spend with my family and the man I loved more than I loved life.
They say if something is too good to be true, it probably is. I say if something is too good to be true, hop on the ride to see where it takes you. Mine took me straight to marital bliss and back into the arms of the only man that I ever loved…Sean.
The End
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Discover other books by Tina Martin at www.tinamartin.net.
