by Ashley Munoz
"Hey. You okay?" Jimmy asked, while tugging on my elbow. I glanced down at his hand with my good eye. Was it weird that I liked his hands? They were warm and felt really nice in comparison to my throbbing eye.
"Yeah, just going to grab some ice real quick," I replied coolly, covering the frantic tone that was trying to surface through the pain. He moved in front of me, then led the way back to the kitchen. I focused on my posture instead of the two, very defined lines of muscle that ran down Jimmy's back that shifted under his t-shirt. He stopped in front of a drawer, grabbed a small baggie, then moved to the freezer to fill it with ice. Expecting him to hand it over, I held out my palm, but to my surprise, he invaded my space and held the bag of ice to my face. In an instant, I felt heat rush through my body. He was too close, with his scent and his warm hands. I held my breath and waited for his inspection to be done. His warm thumb ran over the corner of my eyelid. He tried to pry my eye open, but it wouldn't budge.
"Trust me. I just need to make sure your eyeball is still in there," he whispered, his warm breath fanning my face. I didn't realize I had shut my other eye as well. I opened the good eye and then let him work on my wounded one. It hurt like hell, but once he pulled the eyelid open he did, in fact, verify that I had my eyeball and there was no permanent damage, in his opinion. Then he shocked me by gently blowing on my wounded eye. Which, at first, confused me because air in the eyes wasn't normally a good feeling, but with my eye closed, the air felt soothing. He had the ice pack still held in place and with his other hand, he was holding the back of my head. He was so close to me, all I would have to do is tilt my head up a fraction, and we'd be kissing. With my good eye, I caught his gaze and saw by the way his eyes focused on my lips, he was thinking the same thing.
"I think you'll live, but keep this pack on once you get situated in the fort, okay?" Jimmy broke the moment, handing me the ice pack. He took a few steps back and then headed towards the fort. I nodded my head absently in understanding and gripped the bag of ice, following after him while wondering what exactly might have happened if he hadn't ended that moment. Or if he had any plans to ever ask me on a date again? I pushed those thoughts way, way out of my head, and ignored my racing pulse as I situated myself on my designated blanket spot.
I had taken the furthest spot in the fort and pulled on Jasmine's arm to make sure she took the spot next to me. Not that I didn't want Sammy, but I wasn't quite ready for anymore accidental elbow jabs. And I figured as long as someone was between Jimmy and me, then these butterfly feelings that kept erupting in my stomach would settle down or go away. The fact that I was maybe falling for Jimmy was a problem, so sitting next to him while we watched a princess movie was absolutely out of the question.
The movie was over, our pizzas were eaten, sodas gone, and everyone had fallen asleep. Everyone but me. It was dark, save for the twinkle lights that ran along the edge of the fort. I tried to enjoy the moment, but Jasmine was sleeping on my arm, and it was starting to fall asleep. I wasn't sure what the best way to try and wiggle free was, so that I could head home without waking her, but the pins and needles in my arm demanded I just get it over with. No matter how smooth I moved, or how slowly, she still woke up. Great.
She yawned and stretched her tiny arms outward, pushing against me. Then she slowly got up, claiming she had to pee, and ran out of the fort. I was lying there, hoping no one else would wake up, when I heard a loud “Pssst" off to my right.
I turned my head towards the sound. Jimmy was laying similar to me, with Sammy on one arm, but he was gesturing for me to move closer to him with the other. Not wanting to give up my spot that was positioned away from him, I cupped my ear to encourage Jimmy to say what he needed to say from where he was. Jimmy looked down at Sammy, then back at me. That glowing light from above made Jimmy look dreamy, handsome, like a prince. Shit, that princess movie must have really done a number on me. Giving up on him, I stared up at the soft ceiling of hanging sheets and waited for Jasmine to come back. Then I heard it again.
"Psst."
I looked over again and saw Jimmy waving his hand for me to move closer.
Reluctantly I rolled over, filling the spot Jasmine had been in, so I could hear him. Once I was close enough, he asked, “Are you leaving?”
I kept an eye on the tent entrance, so I would be fast enough to move so Jasmine wouldn't lay down on the wrong side of me. “I don't know… I was thinking about it,” I whispered.
Jimmy looked so peaceful and at home in his plain white t-shirt and gray sweats. He looked too good, like a dream that I couldn't afford to have. He leaned forward and gently placed his free hand on my arm, then murmured, “You should stay.”
I looked down at my arm just as Jasmine stumbled back in from the opposite side of the tent, and laid down where I had been before, causing me to stay in between her and Jimmy. I let out a panicked breath and whispered to Jimmy, “Okay, I'll stay a little longer.”
Until Jasmine fell back asleep, that's what I planned. Maybe I could discreetly move her body over mine, so I literally had a buffer between Jimmy. Otherwise, who knew what would happen if we stayed next to each other, while I was secretly planning our wedding in my head?
I woke up inhaling sugar and lilac, a smell that I had picked up on that night I fired Ramsey from Sip N Sides. I lay frozen, with my eyes closed, before I moved my nose closer to her smell. I loved that scent. I ran my nose along the mass of hair that was just below my chin and breathed her in, memorizing her. I opened my eyes and saw that she was sleeping on my chest. Her arm was draped across it and her leg was thrown over mine. I had my own arm wrapped around her, practically holding her against me. She was snoring, and from the damp spot I felt on my shirt, she was also drooling. She was perfect, drool and all. I was falling, way too fast, for Ramsey, and it scared the hell out of me. From the looks she kept giving me all night, it made me think she was feeling it too. Regardless of what she said about priorities and her mom, she felt something for me, and she may even want something too.
I looked over and found Sammy upside down and nestled in near my feet. Over Ramsey's shoulder, I saw that Jasmine was cuddled up with her back against Ramsey's. Both kids had us pinned in. I had no idea what time it was, but I could tell it was early; there was a little bit of pink creeping through the window at the back door. I looked back down at her body on mine and carefully tugged her closer. I wanted her here, even if she wasn't sure about it. And I wanted just one moment alone with her before the kids woke up.
One moment where she saw me and felt my arms around her, so that she knew what this meant to me, what she meant to me. I moved my hand a little until it was cupping her hip. She squirmed a little and brought her leg higher. Shit, not that. I adjusted my chest a little, just enough to jostle her awake. Finally, I felt her head move. She gently raised it, and I tightened my grip on her hip, so that she knew I wanted her there.
Slowly, her eyes opened and drifted up my chest to my face. There was surprise and something else in her expression. I knew it would only be a few seconds before she noticed how she was positioned on me or worse, realize that she had drooled, so I had to act quickly. I stared at her with all the emotion and heat I could muster, hoping she’d notice exactly what I wanted. I squeezed her hip. She tensed up for just a second, and then relaxed, almost melting into me. I waited for her to react, to show that she wanted this. I needed her to show that she wanted this. Wanted me.
Her hand made its way up to the side of my face, and she ran her fingers along my day-old stubble, then traced my lips. Her eyes followed the movements of her fingers. I leaned forward, placed my hand behind her head, and pulled her towards me.
I led her lips to mine and as we connected, her chest rose, her fingers found my hair and gently tugged me closer. God, this woman. She had set me on fire and burned me from the inside out. Just as I was about to deepen the kiss, someone knocked on the front door.
Ramsey immediately pulled back. She didn't get off of me or up from
where she laid, but she pulled far enough away that it ended whatever moment we had. Her cheeks were flushed, but it was nothing compared to the moment she saw the large wet spot on my shirt. Her eyes went wide as she slowly brought her hand up to cover her mouth. I smiled at her to try and put her at ease, but whoever was knocking on my door at this ungodly hour of the morning knocked again.
I looked at Ramsey apologetically and got up. I pushed the sheets aside and climbed over a pile of pillows until I was free of our magic little fort. I grabbed the door handle, probably with too much force, and came face to face with my best friend.
Jackson stood there, wearing aviators, holding a duffel bag in one hand and a large coffee in the other.
“Hey, man, sorry to stop in so early… but I did try to text you last night… but you never responded.”
He said this while trying to look past me, and for some reason, knowing that Ramsey was inside suddenly had me territorial as shit. I moved to block the entryway, so he couldn’t see inside, and crossed my arms over my chest. “Sorry man, I was really busy last night, and as you can tell, this morning. I was sleeping. What time is it anyway?”
Jackson smiled and turned his left wrist towards him. “Five thirty in the morning.”
“Sweet Jesus, why are you here so early?!” I whisper-yelled at him. Jackson had never done anything like this, not even after Lisa left. So why the hell would he just show up like this?
Jackson looked at the ground, then finished off the last of his coffee. “Look, man, I’m sorry, I'll tell you over breakfast. Mind if I stay here this weekend, and get out of this frigid cold weather? My freaking balls are going to fall off.”
I didn’t want him near Ramsey, but maybe I could figure something out where she stayed hidden. “Yeah, of course, man. Come on in.”
I moved aside and let him through, knowing I needed to change my attitude. Ramsey wasn’t mine and knowing Jackson, if he knew that she was here before the sun even rose, he would stay away.
I shut the door and we walked quietly back through until we were in the living room, where we found Ramsey bent over. She was trying to find her sandals while attempting to not wake up the kids. She was half out of the fort and had her sweatshirt pulled over her head, and her hair braided to the side. Her ass was facing us and again that urge to punch Jackson and tell him not to look was right there. I didn’t know why it hurt so much to see that she was leaving, but it did. Whatever stupid idea that I had of us eating breakfast together, as a family, was gone. Because we weren't a family and she wasn’t staying, and ultimately, she didn’t want this. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be looking for her sandal right now.
She finally found it, then having pulled it on, she quietly crept towards us. Her eyes got big when she saw Jackson. No surprise there; everyone's eyes got big when they saw Jackson. He always looked like he had just walked out of a photo shoot. Then her gaze quickly moved to mine, her face flushed red, and it made me physically weak. I wanted this woman so badly it hurt.
She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she continued to walk towards me, then she whispered, “Hey, I am going to head home, and I will be back around ten to grab Jazzy. Is that okay?”
I smiled, even though I was disappointed that she was leaving. “Yeah, of course, see you then.”
I wanted to thank her for coming, for staying, for wrapping her body around mine last night and giving me the honor of waking up tangled with her, but I didn’t. She quietly crept towards the door and then left.
I felt like the air was trapped in my lungs as the door closed; we had a moment and didn’t talk about it. Part of me filled with fear and anxiety over the idea of not knowing what she thought of the kiss, or if she would just pretend like it never happened?
“Dude, what the hell?” Jackson said, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned to look at him. He had taken his sunglasses off, and had his arms crossed loosely across his chest, with a look on his face that clearly said, “Spill it.”
I briefly remembered that the kids were sleeping, and if they woke up, they would start wondering where Ramsey went, so I headed into the kitchen, with Jackson following after me. I went straight for the coffee pot and started pulling out the filter and grounds. We never converted to one of those newer forms of making coffee, with the pods and things. Dad tried the one I had set up in the breakroom at his bar once, and told me he’d break any I bought for the house on purpose if I ever even thought of getting rid of our old one. Jackson settled in on one of the stools; I could feel him watching me, but I wasn’t ready to talk yet.
He cleared his throat and started again. “Man, what in the hell is going on? Since when do you have women sleeping in your house? With your kids? Who look like that?” He drew out each point that he made, speaking slowly and trying to make it seem like a bigger deal than it actually was. Although, from his perspective, I could see why he was confused.
I looked at him and decided that since he was my best friend, he had a right to know, but as I started to speak, something just shifted inside of me and I couldn't bring myself to be honest about her. “It’s hard to explain but it's not what you think.”
Jackson stared at me, not saying anything. Then he looked down at his hands and blew out an obnoxiously loud breath. “Man, it looks like you have started dating again. And from the way you looked at her, I would say you might even be on your way to…”
"To what? You honestly think I'm that careless?" I threw at him from over my shoulder. I hated how perceptive he was, but I wasn’t going to admit anything or give into it, because the fact that I was feeling rejected again proved I had been careless.
"No, man. I don't think you're careless. I think you haven't cared enough, if anything," Jackson assuaged while rubbing his chin.
“Well, it’s nothing. She babysat the kids last weekend, and they grew attached to her, is all. Like a big sister thing, they invited her to theatre night, and she accidentally fell asleep… she’s also my new accountant for Jimmy’s and Sip N Sides.” I said the last part while grabbing a mug, covering my face and giving myself a small reprieve. I didn’t want to see his reaction, because I knew, just as well as anyone, how stupid of an idea it was to have an employee stay the night at your house, especially one that looked like Ramsey.
Jackson stayed silent for a while longer than I would have liked. Once I looked back over at him, he had his fist under his chin.
“So, you and she aren’t a thing then?” He used a tone that insinuated he didn’t believe me at all.
So, I made sure he did. “Not at all, man. You know that I’m not that stupid after everything I have been through. The kids like her, she's an insanely good accountant, but that’s it. Oh, and Dad loves her, so she’s kind of everywhere.”
Jackson stood up from the stool and stretched his arms over his head. I could tell he wanted the questions and answers to stop with me because, for some reason, he was at my doorstep at five thirty in the morning. I wanted to jump in but he beat me to it.
“Then you wouldn’t mind if I asked Ramsey to dinner tonight?” He said it like he was trying to call me on my bullshit.
I drank a huge gulp of coffee, hoping it would somehow give me the strength to not punch my best friend in the face. I hated that he knew me so well, and he was only asking her out to call my bluff, but I couldn’t let him win and think that he got to me. So, I gently placed my mug on the counter and looked him square in the face. “Nope.”
Jackson gave me a shit-eating grin that clearly showed he was going to enjoy torturing me. To take my mind off of what it was going to be like seeing Jackson flirt with Ramsey, I decided to turn the questions on him. “So, what in the hell brought you to my house so early anyway, man?”
Jackson grabbed onto one of the barstools with his hands and leaned forward. “It’s a long story, but the short one is, I needed to get out Chicago. The sooner the better, and I remember you saying that Jazzy had something this weekend. Besides, I haven’t talked to you in a while abo
ut the bar, so I figured there was no time like the present.”
It was a piss-poor excuse for interrupting the moment I had with Ramsey, but I had a feeling he wasn’t telling me everything. Just like I wasn’t telling him everything. We were a shitty example of friendship.
I nodded at him, and that ended our little pre-breakfast conversation. He stretched again and then nodded at me. “I’m going to go pass out for a bit, if that’s okay? Is the bed made up?” He started heading towards the basement, and I didn’t want to yell because of the kids, so I just nodded.
Once he was downstairs, I went back into the fort with the kids. I laid back down and stared at the ceiling of blankets and sheets. I hated how empty it felt now without Ramsey, and more than that, I hated how I would never be able to experience theatre night again without thinking of her.
I tried to fall asleep once I got home, but my mind was in full freak-out mode. So, I gave up on the idea of it. Around six thirty, I just decided to consume as much coffee as possible and count down the seconds until it was deemed the ‘not too early’ kind of early to call Laney.
I needed to talk about that kiss with someone. Anyone, really. I was almost desperate enough to find some radio show looking for callers, to call in their questions about complicated relationships. I started at the beginning, in my mind.
First, I didn't mean to sleep there all night. Second, I didn't want to be next to Jimmy, because I knew that I was an insane spider monkey sleeper. I should have just moved Jazzy after I agreed to stay. When I woke up and noticed my leg, and then saw the wet drool spot, I wanted to die. Of course, I would have only noticed that spot after he kissed me.
I shoved my face into a pillow and groaned. My first kiss with Jimmy, and my mouth probably had horrific drool breath or crusted spit on the side of my face. God only knows how my hair looked. I pulled my cell phone out and peeked at the time. I saw that it was six forty-five, and decided it was late enough to call Laney. I hit my favorites tab and tapped her face, then waited patiently through each ring until she finally answered.
