Starving for Love

by Nicole Zoltack

  Something must have prevented her from coming.

  Dread replaced the angry bitterness in his chest, and he ran to the shed where the diving equipment was located. As far as Kristian knew, no other country had technology this advanced. The king had hired scientists to study da Vinci's plan and develop better gear for exploring beneath the waves. Far more sophisticated than the diving bells other countries used, the new equipment allowed divers to travel down much farther and be able to breathe underwater with the use of air tanks. It wasn't fully tested yet, and only two sets of gear had been made thus far, but several successful dives had been completed already.

  If Blaise was right — Kristian didn't know what to think anymore — then Sirena would be somewhere within the waters. The prince knew he should go and find Blaise, that he shouldn't dive alone, but he couldn't see the gear in front of him or the water in the distance. All he could see was Sirena hurt and in pain, tears streaming down her face. He couldn't hear the call of the gulls or the crashing of the waves. All he could hear was Sirena crying out for him.

  He had to find his Sirena. Whether or not she was human or selkie or anything else. All that mattered was her.

  ****

  Far more time had passed than he liked before he plunged into the water. He had grabbed both weight belts but even the added weight didn't bring him down fast enough for his liking.

  Kristian had only been on two dives before, all supervised and never alone. Diving could be dangerous. If something should happen to him while he was down here, he would be dead.

  Nothing would happen though.

  He checked his air gauge and realized he was consuming oxygen faster than normal. Cursing in his mind, he closed his eyes and took several slow breaths to calm down.

  When he opened his eyes, he realized he was deeper in the ocean than he had ever been before. Although the world above was sleeping, there was no day or night here, and plenty of marine life swam about, happy and carefree. Normally he enjoyed the sights and tried to recall the names of the fish and algae and plants. Now all he cared about was finding Sirena.

  He covered more ground than he thought possible. Even so, he knew the likelihood of finding Sirena was remote, a thought he tried not to think of because it made him panicky, which, in turn, made him hyperventilate and consume his oxygen too fast.

  Far below him, he could see the floor dotted with coral. Fish darted and hid within colorful plants. He couldn't see any sand, so plentiful was the flora here. A huge, unhurried tortoise swam in front of him and blocked his sight.

  Glancing to the left, he spied a large cave. A small school of tiny orange fish swam into it. Swimming forward, Kristian saw that the ground bottomed out much lower here. The current picked up, and he strove back toward the cave, but he made no progress. If anything, the cave was moving farther and farther away, like the nightmares he'd had as a child when he tried to reach a door at the end of a never-ending hallway.

  He unbuckled one of the weight belts, but still the current yanked and tugged on him. Unlike his arms, the current did not grow tired, a battle he could not win. Still, he fought until his arms were so fatigued he couldn't move them anymore. The current claimed him and forced him lower and lower until after a few minutes, he was dragged all the way down to the bottom. A plant wrapped itself around him. Kristian struggled in vain to free himself. If anything, the plant had a stronger hold on him now. His air was dangerously low.

  Sirena…

  Chapter Five

  Excitement bubbled within Sirena's chest. Today was Kristian day. Although it had been Diona's month to cover for her, Sirena still wasn't on speaking terms with her and sought out Ula. Ula was almost two years older than Sirena and would soon have her time at the surface.

  "Just tell me all about it when you get back," Ula said.

  "I promise." Sirena grinned. Only Ula and Marilla understood her love of the sun-stained world above theirs.

  Sirena gave Ula a quick hug and darted out of her room so swiftly specks of sand broke free from the wall. She swam out the back of the castle and groaned when a guard glided over to her. Normally the back entrance was never guarded.

  "Your father wants to see you," he said.

  Sirena shook her head. "I'll be back in a few minutes to see him." She gave him a smile and started to swim away when he touched her arm.

  "I'm afraid that isn't good enough."

  A deep breath did not settle her nerves. Maybe she should have spent more time watching Diona. She could get any of the guards to do anything she wanted.

  The mermaid princess flipped her hair back and batted her eyes. "I'll only be a minute."

  He crossed his arms and glared at her. "You don't even remember me."

  Sirena frowned. She knew none of the — oh! Bastin! Just her luck the guard was him.

  "Bastin—"

  "I'm glad I found you." He seemed a little unsettled, his smile less than convincing. "I've been meaning to tell you I wasn't the happiest with your sisters either. I didn't know what they wanted and—"

  "It wasn't your fault, I know. I don't blame you." She knew it was rude to cut him off, but she didn't have time for his apology right now. "But I really have to get going. Can't you just tell them you didn't see me? Please?"

  "I can't. You know your father. If he found out, he would strip me of my title, and I would lose everything. He is a very powerful man."

  Sirena hung her head. Asking this was too much for anyone who wasn't in her bloodline. Her father was a triton, a descendant of Poseidon, and as such, had magical powers that rivaled those of any sea witch. Only the males in the line claimed such powers.

  "I understand," Sirena murmured as she dutifully swam beside him toward the throne room. Perhaps her father wouldn't have much to say, and she could hurry up and be on her way to Kristian. Her promise rang in her ears, and she couldn't wait to see him again.

  In her excitement, she zoomed forward and rushed to the throne, hoping her father would smile at her obedience. Instead, his eyes were a stormy black, and he clasped his trident beside him, the golden pointed ends glittering.

  Sirena gulped and glanced behind her at Bastin, whose head was down, in deference to the ruler of the sea.

  "Leave," her father commanded.

  Sirena wished she could follow Bastin as he departed. "Daddy?"

  "Don't 'Daddy' me, Sirena." He glowered at her, a vein on his neck bulging. "You know the rules, Sirena. How could you break them?"

  Sirena thought frantically. Which of her father's many rules had she broken this time?

  "You're only sixteen! You never should have been up to the surface yet, let alone countless times!" Her father swung the trident around, the weapon glowing even more than before. He circled her, almost vigorous enough to create a current of his own within the water.

  Forced to twirl around to face him, she gulped again. Oh, that rule. "Father, I can explain—"

  "No, Sirena, you will not speak! You've defied me. You've made a mockery of my rules, and I will not tolerate that."

  "I only wanted—"

  "You are a child. What you want doesn't matter. You will obey my rules, and you will do as I say. Your sisters listen to me. So should you."

  "It's a stupid rule," she blurted. "What harm can come from going to the surface?"

  "How dare you!" The trident shimmered until Sirena had to close her eyes against the brilliant light. When she risked peeking, her father now sat on his throne, his head down.

  "Father?" she ventured, going up to him. He didn't respond, so she touched his fin as she had when she was only a little mermaid. "Maybe if you told me why we shouldn't go to the surface, then I would understand."

  Hunched over, he raised his head but not his shoulders, his eyes now a calm soft blue that reminded her of the sky on a cloudless day, but there was a pain there that made her own chest ache.

  "What is it?" she whispered.

  "My … my sister. When she was a little mermaid, she swam up
to the surface. I went with her most times, and we would play with the humans. As our parents asked, we made sure to keep our identities a secret. One time, I didn't want to go, so Kai went by herself. An hour passed, so I went to find her. She was on a rock about fifty yards beneath the surface, a spear through her."

  "I'm so sorry, so so sorry."

  "I can't even remember why I didn't want to go with her in the first place. Maybe if I had been there…" He shook his head.

  "Father, you can't blame yourself."

  Her father stared at her and sat up straighter. "I hated the humans, wanted nothing better than to forget them entirely, but my parents did not want that. They forced me to go with them back to the surface. My mother said it's important to know about the humans, that ignoring part of the world would be foolish. I agree, which is why I allow you girls to go up when you're old enough. But you have to be smart about it, fast enough to outswim a spear, to stay safe. Please do not go back to the surface until I allow it."

  Sirena held her breath.

  Her father did not look up. His eyes were closed, his lips still moving although she could not hear his words. She had a feeling he wasn't talking to her. He seemed to be lost in his memories. Or his grief. Or guilt.

  After a few minutes, Sirena left the throne room and then the castle. She flipped and danced her way through the water, tearing through it as she made her way to the surface. As much as she loved her father and now understood why he was so strict, she couldn't not go to Kristian.

  When her head broke the surface of the water, the moon shone down on her. She brushed back her damp hair. Kristian was nowhere in sight.

  Had he given up on her? Thought she would break her promise? She could hardly blame him — she had never been this late before.

  Movement on the beach caught her eye, and she hurried toward the shore, her heart beating at a frantic pace. She opened her mouth to call out to him only to realize the form on the beach was an unfamiliar one.

  The person hunched over and dropped several items onto the sand. Then he straightened. "Sirena?" a male voice called.

  She held onto a large rock. "Yes?" she said, cautious. Although the moon was shining, she couldn't see much more than shadows.

  "Is Kristian out there with you?"

  Sirena blinked back tears as she recognized fear in the man's voice. She released the rock and wrung her hands as she said, "No."

  The man appeared to be struggling with something. "He went out earlier to see you and hasn't come back yet."

  "Where is he?" No head bopped in the soft waves.

  "Father Dominick told me he saw Kristian go to the shed earlier. It's where we keep our diving gear."

  The term was familiar. Kristian had explained it to her before. Her heart had raced at the idea of Kristian being miles beneath the surface with her as they explored the underwater world together, not that she had never seriously considered doing that. If any of the mermen had seen him, they would have captured him, brought him to her father…

  She had asked him countless questions about diving, and once she realized divers did not have the capability to reach their underwater city, she had breathed easier.

  "I'm Blaise, by the way." He stepped forward, wearing a strange contraption on his back.

  "He went deep into the water," she supposed slowly. She didn't know what to feel — worried that Kristian might see something he shouldn't or excited at the idea of sharing new sights with him. But for the most part, anxiety squeezed her heart until she thought it would tear in half. What if something happened? It had taken Kristian a long time to convince his parents to allow him to dive, because it was so dangerous.

  "Yes, that's what diving is."

  "You're planning on diving to find him?" she asked.

  "Yes."

  Not a smart idea. "Don't. Stay here. I'll find him."

  "Sirena, he could be anywhere. You need help." His head snapped up, and she could see the star's light shining in his eyes. "How would you be able to find him without gear?" He didn't have a suspicious tone — it was more questioning, as if he was curious but not surprised.

  "Please…" She had forgotten his name already.

  "Blaise."

  "Please, Blaise, don't ask questions. We don't have time to waste. Just give me ten minutes. I promise I'll find him."

  He rummaged through the pile of stuff. "Almost ready," he muttered. Then he stood, shaking his head. "My weight belt's gone. I can't dive without it. He won't have enough air to last long, let alone ten minutes."

  Sirena nodded, relieved he hadn't pressed the issue, and dove beneath the water. After two long tail-lengths, she realized Blaise may have seen her tail. Too late now, not that she cared. She had far more important things to worry about.

  Chapter Six

  Panic was beginning to set in despite Kristian's desire to go out bravely. He closed his eyes and concentrated on counting, but once he reached one hundred, his eyes flew open, and he read the gauge. Only one hundred pounds left.

  In a way, he was happy to go out here. He was always the happiest when in the water.

  Not because of the water, though. Because of her.

  Thinking of Sirena reenergized him. Although he knew it was futile, he brushed the long leaves of the plant away from him and at last freed himself. All the while, he kept thinking about how much he wanted to see her one last time, that she be the last sight he see.

  Kristian allowed the still strong current to guide his body, too tired and sore to fight it or attempt to reach the surface.

  Fifty pounds.

  All kinds of fish, in many different colors and sizes, swam around him. The current lessened some here, and he swam by some plankton. A swirl of blue surrounded him. A majestic sight, but not the one he longed to see.

  Forty pounds.

  His body started to feel heavy. Whether this was because of his body reacting to the pressure of being this far beneath the surface or whether it was mental, he didn't know for certain. A large fish swam toward him, and he almost wished it was a hungry shark, so he could be put out of his misery.

  Thirty pounds.

  The current relinquished its hold on him. In the far distance, he could see large shapes. Fish? Sharks? After staring at them for a moment, he realized they were too still to be living creatures. Buildings, perhaps? They were much too far away for him to explore.

  Wherever Sirena was, it wasn't here at the ocean's bottom. Maybe she was in one of the buildings. No, he didn't think that probable. Mayhap she was looking for him. He accepted his death, knew there was no saving him, but if he could somehow find her before he died… If he could just see her again…

  His strong arms pulled him up, his legs kicking, propelling him upward. It was possible they had missed each other. If he was going to die, he would die trying to see her.

  Twenty pounds.

  It would not be much longer now until he breathed his last.

  Chapter Seven

  Sirena swam with the speed of a starving marine predator. She asked every fish she passed if they had seen him, but none had. Her panic worked against her, making her fin tremble, hindering her ability to swim fast.

  Something foreign caught her eye. She bent down and picked it up. The object was surprisingly heavy. Could it be the weight belt Blaise had mentioned? Sirena hoped so for it meant Kristian was near.

  She spied a cave and hesitated. Would he have had a reason to go inside? No. Sirena jolted beyond it then halted. For what reason had he come down here in the first place?

  To find her. There could be no other reason.

  Did that mean he knew she was a mermaid?

  A slow-moving fish swam up toward her.

  No, not a fish.

  Kristian!

  She darted forward and was by his side a few moments later. "Kristian. Kristian! Can you hear me?"

  He sluggishly shifted his head to face her and nodded.

  Something was wrong. Normally, he was so full of life, so en
ergetic.

  "I'm going to save you. I promise you. Do you understand?"

  He nodded a few times before his head drooped and stayed down.

  She wrapped his arms around her and tore toward the surface, longing to return Kristian to his world as soon as possible.

  His grasp slackened.

  "Hold on, Kristian, we're almost there." She risked a glance down and saw his face — swollen, ashen gray, his lips blue, purple-red dots around his eyes.

  His glassy lifeless eyes.

  He wasn't breathing.

  Sirena choked back a sob. In her heart, she knew it was too late.

  She'd broken her promise.

  Weeping as if her heart had broken, which it had, she removed his facial mask and ran her fingers down his face. His hair felt softer than she had expected. She leaned closer and gave him a tender kiss, hoping for some reason that this would bring him back.

  Of course it didn't.

  This was the closest they had ever been, and yet they were farther apart than ever before. Death separated them. He had abandoned her to a place she was not yet willing to go.

  She brushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed it. To touch him like this, to kiss him, was so bittersweet.

  There was nothing she could do. But maybe someone else could.

  ****

  Sirena tugged him along. Kristian's body felt heavier to her even though she had already detached his weight belt. Ten minutes later, they reached their destination: the large cave of the sea witch Merlinasea.

  She gulped before entering. Her father would be so displeased if he should ever learn about his, but she wasn't about to ask him for help. After all, Kristian's death was on his hands. If Sirena had kept her original promise and not been late…

  It wasn't fair to blame her father. Had she never met Kristian, he would still be alive.