Without II: The Fall
Page 17
“We’re all better people for calling him our friend,” said Doc.
“What happened to him?” asked Donna, turning to Gunny. “I need to know.”
“I wasn’t with him,” said Gunny, looking at me and letting me know it was time.
“I was,” I said, exhaling.
“When he died?” asked Donna, putting her hands over her heart.
“Yes, ma’am,” I said.
“I’m so sorry, Henry.” said Donna. “I know how much you loved him. He loved you just as much.”
She’s sorry for me. For me.
“He went to them trying to avoid a fight,” I said. “He offered them a deal, but they didn’t come for that. They came to take our town and the train. They killed him to send a message to the rest of us.”
“And then you killed them, right?” asked Joey.
“Most of them.”
“But the men who murdered my dad, you killed them.”
“This isn’t the time for that,” said Donna, turning to her son. “I just needed to know how, not why or what happened after. That’s a discussion for others.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Joey, backing down.
Kelly is a very intuitive woman. I could sense a change in her demeanor when I answered Joey’s question. I knew I’d be answering hers soon.
“Did he suffer?” asked River, leaning against her mother.
“No,” I said, lying. “He didn’t suffer, River. It was over before he realized what was happening.”
“What are we going to do without him?” asked River, letting more tears fall. “How are we going to –”
“Perry took care of this town,” said Gunny, stopping her. “This town is going to take care of you. All of you. You have my word on that.”
“They don’t need the town to take care of them,” I said. “They have something nobody else has. They have a Joey.”
“A very good point,” said Doc, smiling.
“Yes, we do,” said River, smiling and pulling him close to her and Donna.
JD and Tucker were the first to leave. They had the longest journey to get home to see their family before we took them away again. Kelly and I stayed a few more hours, and we all told our favorite stories about Perry. Gunny wasn’t going to leave the body of a fallen soldier unguarded until he was laid to rest. Doc stayed for a different reason.
In our new world, we had little choice but to let nature take its course with our dead. There would be no autopsy or embalming. There was no morgue or funeral home where the living could suspend the process of decomposition. Perry was no longer out in the cold. He was lying in a warm quiet room. The process would now be continuing at a faster rate.
Doc stayed behind to explain to the family what would happen to Perry’s body overnight. In a quiet room, they might hear gurgling sounds in his bowels or hear his stomach growl. Gas would be released from openings, and his face and neck would start to bloat from gas that was trapped. As gravity pulled his blood toward the center of the earth, there would be color changes to his skin as the hours passed. If it became too much to bear, Doc and Gunny would move him to the clinic.
Kelly and I walked outside to see most of the town still holding vigil. I imagined many would stay all night and help Gunny with his military duty of guarding the fallen. We spoke to a few of the townspeople and thanked them for showing their support of the family. Then it was my turn to go home.
My exposed skin informed me that the temperature was dropping. We opened the front door and were greeted with darkness. Living with little light at night, we had memorized the floor plan and knew where every obstacle was in the house. The first order of business was light and then heat.
As the darkness was being pushed back into the corners by candles, I started a fire in our wood-burning stove in the kitchen. It would produce enough heat to knock down the cold in most of the house and make it a more comfortable morning. There was a large fireplace in the living room, but we had chosen our older home for the one in our bedroom. Kelly had it roaring by the time I finished a few chores in the kitchen. Our favorite place in the world was filled with light and warmth.
Kelly was already in bed and had the comforter pulled up to her neck. I took off my boots and pulled a chair up close to the fire. I didn’t want to shock her with cold hands and feet when I joined her.
I could stare into a fire all night. It always amazed me how much a fire changes an environment in an instant. A room that was cold, dark, still, and lifeless was powerless against it. The cold would begin its retreat at the first sign of visible flame. The flames warm light would push the darkness outside of our walls where it belonged. Shadows would dance throughout the room with each flicker and twist of the flames. It would bring our favorite place in the world back to life.
As I sat close to it, I felt the waves of heat wash over me. It helped me leave thoughts behind that didn’t need to be with us in our room. I could feel her watching me as I rubbed my hands near the flames. When they reached a temperature that wouldn’t chill her skin, I took off the rest of my clothes. Ever since I had walked into our room, she hadn’t said a word. She just smiled at me as I crawled into bed.
I had made another selfish error. This time with the woman I loved. She had no intention of being angry because she knew I was going to leave her again. She just wanted me close to her. She just wanted to put her arm around me and lay her head on my chest as Donna did with Perry.
I felt her warm tears run down my side. I pulled her in closer and kissed the top of her head. She nestled into my shoulder and rubbed the side of my face with gentle fingers. I rubbed her back and played with her hair that I never understood how she could keep so soft.
This was a moment worth fighting for. A moment I would always fight to have again. A moment that would never grow old in spite of us growing older.
The only thing in the world she wanted was for me to rest. I thought about the night before the ambush when JD and I were on watch. I remembered the feeling of content knowing that she was here in our warm bed, and I was out there in the cold night protecting her. Somehow she knew that. She knew it was a place I had to be in order to make sure that I could come back to this one.
“I’m sorry,” whispered Kelly.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” I said. “Nothing.”
“Yes, I do,” said Kelly, lifting her head. “I’m sorry for asking you to promise you’ll never leave me again.”
“I don’t ever want to leave you,” I said. “This is where I want to be. This is the place I dream about when I’m gone.”
“I know,” said Kelly, returning to my shoulder. “It’s just that for a moment, I saw you lying on that table. I saw Donna’s pain, knowing it was going to be the last time she’d ever get to hold him. It all became too real tonight. Too close.”
“I thought the same thing, baby,” I said, squeezing tighter. “If I ever lost you, there’d be nothing left.”
“You do realize that I’m smart,” said Kelly.
“Much smarter than I am. Everybody knows that.”
“So when are you leaving? How long do I have with you?”
“Day after tomorrow,” I said. “I won’t be alone. JD and a few others are leaving as well.”
“Okay,” said Kelly, sighing. “That’s not much time.”
“Do you understand why?” I asked.
“I’m not sure, but I have a good idea. I hope it’s not just for revenge, Henry. If they’re asking you and the others to risk your lives again, I hope it’s for a much better reason.”
“You are smart, and you know me better than I do. I’m not going to tell you revenge isn’t on my mind, but it isn’t the reason.”
“You’re going after the ones that Gunny said got away,” said Kelly. “I’m guessing those were the ones that were coming to hurt us. I’m also guessing that they’ll try again.”
“That isn’t a guess. That’s exactly why.”
“And the revenge?”
“He was one that got away,” said Kelly.
“For now, yes.”
“I’m okay with you going after him. I’m okay with you making him answer for what he did to Perry and his family. And I’ll be okay with whatever you decide that answer should be.”
That, sweet girl, would be a promise I can keep.
Chapter 26
Mrs. Cromartie’s Biscuits
I awoke alone. I knew it was later in the morning as sunlight peeked through the small gun port openings of our homemade hurricane shutters. Most of the houses within our new community didn’t have these shutters. Kelly thought they were overkill, and it was rare for her to have them closed. (I imagined she wanted to keep the room dark so the light wouldn’t disturb me.) I’m glad she felt safe enough in Stevenson to think we didn’t need them for protection. I don’t feel safe anywhere. If it were up to me, the entire house would be inside a steel box.
Whenever I had the time, and the materials, to add to the protection of our home, most of both are spent in our bedroom. We’re most vulnerable when we’re asleep. After we chose our home, I boarded up the two windows in the room and replaced the thin panel door with solid wood. A steel bar lock made it impossible to kick in from the other side. Even if someone had a battering ram, it would take them too long to get in. We’d be on the other side wide-awake and ready for them.
Kelly understood the need to feel safe while we were sleeping, but she put the brakes on my project when I started piling sandbags along the walls. She then gave me two rules I couldn’t break. We had to have access to sunlight, and it had to look like a bedroom, not a foxhole. I accepted the challenge.
At that time, building supplies were readily available, but I tried to salvage as much material as possible during the demolition. When I started pulling down our walls, she wasn’t pleased. But to her credit, she allowed me creative freedom as long as I didn’t break her rules.
I filled the spaces between the studs with anything I could find that might stop a bullet. Steel plating, concrete blocks, stone, and sandbags were my materials of choice. Chicken wire held everything in place while I rebuilt the wall. Uncle Perry helped me add a decorative touch to the thick wooden planks I used instead of sheetrock. After countless hours of sanding and applying layers of stain and varnish, the inside of our room looked like the cabin of a yacht. Kelly was pleased.
Working in the attic, I was able to reinforce our ceiling with no demolition. A vented steel cap above the chimney allowed the smoke to rise up, but would keep giant hailstones and deluges of rain from sinking my yacht. After replacing the boards over the windows with more pleasing retractable steel shudders, I was able to sleep like a baby on most nights. More importantly, I felt better knowing Kelly had the safest place to sleep in town when I was gone. And I was about to be gone again.
When I opened the shutters, I realized it wasn’t late in the morning but early in the afternoon. I felt a slight sense of panic as I dressed with speed. My panic disappeared when I opened the bedroom door and was greeted with the scent of my favorite perfume; Sizzling meat.
“Good morning, sunshine,” said Kelly, greeting me with a smile.
“I don’t think it’s morning anymore,” I said, rubbing my eyes.
“It’s not, but you obviously needed the sleep,” said Kelly, introducing the sausage to the plate of eggs. “Everything is okay. We’re having the service at sunset and then a little celebration afterwards.”
“Celebration?”
“It was Donna and River’s idea,” said Kelly, setting the plate on the table. “Donna is the strongest woman I know. She wants to celebrate the safe return of our boys after we say goodbye to Perry. She said there will be plenty of time for them to mourn, but it’s also time to be grateful and happy.”
“She’s the second strongest woman I know,” I said, kissing Kelly and then taking my seat.
“Today, I’m not,” said Kelly, taking a deep breath to fight tears. “I went to check on her early this morning. I didn’t want to wake you. They had already taken Perry to the clinic. Donna stayed by his side all night.”
“Should we have stayed?”
“No,” said Kelly, losing her fight and wiping a tear. “She wanted to be alone with him.”
“I can understand that.”
“She asked if I would help her pick out his clothes,” said Kelly. “Then we started gathering some things she wanted him to have. The blanket she made him, his slippers, and a few photos of the family. I don’t know how I kept it together. Henry, it was so sad. There was even a picture of you and your parents when you were a little kid. You were so cute. What happened?”
“Life happened,” I said, smiling at her.
“It did,” she said, sighing. “But you’re still cute in a manly way.”
“Thank you,” I said. “So are you.”
“How did I get so lucky?” said Kelly, standing and then sitting in my lap.
“I don’t know; you just did.”
“I love you, Henry,” said Kelly, squeezing my neck. “I want to make sure you know that every day.”
“I do, baby. It’s what keeps me going.”
“Finish your lunch,” said Kelly, standing. “Take your time getting ready. Donna is already cooking up a storm. I think she’s just trying to stay busy and make it through the day. I’m going to go give her a hand. Come over when you’re ready.”
“Okay.”
I put on the best clothes I could find and made my way next door. The house was a beehive of activity. Some came to pay their respects to the family, but most came to help prepare for the celebration. It put a smile on my face when I saw the smile on Donna’s. She gave me a poke to my ribs when I tried to sneak a bite from one of the pies cooling on the table. The other town matriarchs shooed me out of the kitchen as there was serious work to be done. I went upstairs and found Joey wrestling with a tie in the mirror. He wasn’t winning.
“Hey, buddy,” I said, walking into his room. “Need a hand?”
“Please,” said Joey, dropping his arms. “I’ve been trying to figure this damn thing out all morning.”
“You look sharp,” I said, taking over. “Do you have a jacket or a blazer I can borrow? I haven’t had much use for one lately.”
“I do,” said Joey, holding his chin up. “So, when are you leaving?”
“News travels fast,” I said. “Tomorrow morning. JD, Tucker, and the Kramer brothers are coming with me.”
“And you guys are taking the train?” asked Joey, inspecting my work in the mirror.
“Looks like it,” I said, waiting for him to ask the inevitable question.
“Here,” said Joey, handing me a dark blazer. “This should fit. It’s a little big on me.”
“Perfect,” I said, straightening the collar. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” said Joey, sitting on the corner of his bed. “I wish I could go with you guys, but I’d probably just slow you down.”
“With this leg,” I said, patting my thigh, “I’d be slowing you down, but you’re doing the right thing by staying here. Your mom and River need you now more than ever. I also feel better leaving Kelly, knowing that you’re right next door. Your dad would be very proud of you. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks,” said Joey, lowering his head. “Things are going to be so different now. I just don’t know how we’re going to make it without him.”
“You are him,” I said, sitting next to him. “You’re the spitting image of your dad. Same walk, same laugh, damn near the same everything. He had a few more pounds and less hair than you, but you are him, Joey.”
“There wasn’t anything he couldn’t do,” said Joey, looking over at me. “I should’ve paid more attention when he was teaching me things. All I wanted to do was chase girls and hang out with
my friends. Now he’s gone.”
“He’s not gone, buddy,” I said. “He’s everywhere now. Remember that the next time you screw up.”
“Thanks,” said Joey, cutting his eyes at me with a smile. “You need to remember that more than I do.”
“True,” I said, standing, “but he expects that from me, and I’m not going to let him down.”
Mother Nature paid her respects to my uncle. There was a slight breeze coming from a cloudless late afternoon sky. She raised the temperature to make everyone more comfortable as the pastor addressed the town and spoke with eloquence of his friend.
When Joey stood and delivered his father’s eulogy, I had no idea I would be witnessing the transformation of a boy into a man. My heart was filled with pride as he spoke with passion, sincerity, and genuine love for the man who was everything to him. A man who meant so much to this town and its people.
His voice was shaky, but his words were strong. Joey put many at ease when he spoke of the future and hope. He made a promise to continue his father’s legacy of kindness, fairness, and loyalty to the people of Stevenson, Bridgeport, and Scottsboro. When he finished and stepped down from the podium, it was the first time I had ever heard applause at a funeral.
Perry’s body was placed on a horse-drawn carriage and taken to our new cemetery on the edge of town. After a few words from Doc, he was laid to rest. When the ceremony ended, I found it difficult to walk away from him. We all did. Nobody wanted him to be alone.
It was a short walk back to downtown as the sun was paying its last respects. Trays of food were being arranged on tables as lanterns were lit, and the bonfire erupted in flames, which fought off the chill of sunset. It was time to celebrate a life well lived.
There were more funerals than weddings or new birthdays. Any reason to celebrate was welcomed by everyone. If only for an evening, we felt normal.
As instruments and singers set up in front of the train station, hugs and laughter grew in frequency and volume. Good food, family, and friends gathered under the same twilight, a twilight that was turning red from the layer of high clouds forming on the horizon. It didn’t go unnoticed by those who knew we were leaving in the morning.