The Believer (The Shakers 2)

by Ann H. Gabhart

  The men all were dressed the same as the Shaker men in the wagon, and the women wore blue dresses with large white collars crossed in the front and white aprons over the full skirts. White bonnets covered their heads and shaded their eyes from Elizabeth. The people were different sizes and shapes. Yet there was something so uniform about their look that Elizabeth thought of ants walking a line to their hills.

  In the very middle of the village was a white frame building that would have looked large and impressive to Elizabeth except for the great stone building rising so amazingly into the sky opposite it. Both buildings had two front doors, as did nearly all the buildings they passed. The two-story frame building had nothing about it to suggest it was a church, but Issachar said it was their meetinghouse.

  "That's where we worship;' the young Shaker named Ethan said without looking back at them, as if he wanted to be sure they knew the purpose of the building.

  In behind the houses were fields of what looked like strawberry plants, although Elizabeth had never seen such a large patch. In among the buildings were smaller garden patches with herbs that Elizabeth recognized. Some of the same ones that she'd planted with her mother behind the cabin. Others she did not know.

  Payton's head twisted back and forth as he tried to see it all. "I know Father told us of this, but did you imagine it so .. He hesitated, searching for the right word.

  "Big?" Elizabeth offered.

  "More even than that,' he said with a hint of awe in his voice. "`Grand' might describe it better. What must it take to raise such buildings?"

  "Perhaps you will find out. Perhaps you can be a builder" Elizabeth smiled at Payton and then touched Hannah's head. `And one of these buildings is surely a school'

  Hannah's eyes were open wide as she took in the Shaker village. Elizabeth sometimes forgot how little of the world Hannah had ever seen. She hadn't been quite two when they moved to the cabin in the woods and had not gone into the town since their mother died when she was four. All she knew of the outside world was what their father told her and what Elizabeth read to her from books.

  "Are we still in Kentucky?" she asked as the young brother guided the horses around behind one of the large brick houses and stopped the wagon in front of a frame outbuilding.

  The young Shaker man laughed out again as he had earlier as he looked around at Hannah. "Yea, my little sister. We are yet in Kentucky, but I understand your wonder. I felt the same when I first came into the village as a child. Our land is in the state of Kentucky, but it is not of the world."

  "That sounds like a riddle" Hannah kept her eyes on him as he and Issachar climbed down from the wagon and came back to them.

  "So it does;" Issachar said with a smile.

  "A riddle that those of the world cannot solve;' Ethan said. He reached up to lift Hannah down from the wagon and then offered his hand to Elizabeth.

  She smiled at him as she put her hand in his strong hand that was browned from his work in the sun. "My sister knows little of the world;" she said, again meeting his eyes with that strange feeling of a connection that had no way of being. For just a moment as she leaned on him to step down from the wagon, everything around them faded away. There was nothing but her and the young brother speaking without words.

  "Brother Ethan;' a voice boomed out behind them. Alarm chased across Ethan's face, and he jerked back from her as if fire had shot from her hand to his.

  She stumbled and might have fallen if Payton hadn't reached out to steady her.

  "Brother Martin," the young brother said. He almost stuttered as he went on. "I did not see you there:"

  "So it would appear" The man stepped forward. The lines of his broad face were stern and far from welcoming as he swept his eyes over Elizabeth, Payton, and Hannah. None of the sternness left his face as he turned his look back to Ethan. "But you must know that our Eternal Father sees us at all times"

  "Yea, Brother Martin, I know it to be true," Ethan answered meekly. "I will strive harder to keep that truth in mind' He stepped away from Elizabeth quickly as if moving away from a steep riverbank about to crumble away under his feet.

  "We will speak of it later," the man named Martin said as again his eyes settled on Elizabeth. "What have you and Brother Issachar brought back from the town?"

  Not who. What. Elizabeth felt like the worm Payton had spoken of earlier. Perhaps she had gathered winter around her too soon. Perhaps seeking shelter among the Shakers was not the plan the Lord had made for her and Payton and Hannah. Hannah moved over against Elizabeth as if she hoped to hide among the folds of Elizabeth's skirt.

  Issachar's voice was as kind as ever as he answered, "These three seek shelter among us. Their father has died and they have no food or place to live:" He leveled his eyes on Martin. "It is our duty to be kind to those in need"

  "You need not remind me of the duties of a Believer" The Shaker man's eyes narrowed on Issachar.

  "Nay, I do not;' Issachar said. "We are delivering the sugar we bought for the sisters' apple butter making here at the preserves house. After that, I will find one of the sisters to take charge of the two young sisters. Then I will help the young brother settle among us:'

  "Yea, it will be your duty. You brought them among us;" Martin said.

  "Yea, Brother Ethan and I." Issachar didn't look toward the other man as he reached into the wagon bed to pick up a sack of sugar.

  Ethan looked as if he were being tugged in two different directions as he stood between the two men. At the same time, Elizabeth felt he was very aware of her standing there by the wagon waiting to be told what to do. Then she realized that the young brother was also waiting to be told what to do.

  Issachar must have felt Ethan's discomfort as well, for he looked up at him and said, "I can unload the sugar without your help, Brother Ethan. Go on along with Brother Martin if that is what he desires:"

  "Yea, it's almost time for the evening meal," the other man said as he stepped between Ethan and Issachar and took Ethan's arm and turned him away from the wagon.

  "I will need to wash my hands and face,' Ethan said as Martin began hustling him away.

  "Pray that is all you need to cleanse yourself of:" Martin peered over his shoulder back toward Elizabeth, but Ethan kept his eyes straight ahead.

  Issachar turned with the sack of sugar on his shoulder and stood a moment watching the two men walk away with the hint of a frown between his eyes.

  Elizabeth spoke up quietly. "I didn't mean to cause your young brother trouble:"

  "Nay, you did not, my sister." Issachar pulled in a breath and let the frown slip away from his face. "Brother Martin has a fear of any breath of the world touching the young men he teaches. And you are of the world. I think he fears you may be a temptation to Brother Ethan"

  "I have no desire to be a problem for him or for any of you.

  "Our desires often ask no permission to war within us. Brother Ethan has much yet to learn of such things" Issachar turned to smile at her. "As do you:"

  "I will try to learn the Shaker way. We all will:' Elizabeth put her arm around Hannah to give her courage. "Our father said he felt peace when he visited here last spring. That's all we seek with you. A chance to earn our way and to feel that peace.

  "That isn't too much to ask;' he said. "Now come, young Brother Payton, and help me unload the sugar. I think the sisters are no longer here at the preserving house. All have gone to the biting rooms for the evening meal. That's dining rooms to you:"

  "We're not causing you to miss your supper, are we?" Elizabeth asked.

  "Worry not, my sister. All will be taken care of in due time" He climbed up the steps and opened the door into the preserving house. "First the sugar must be unloaded, and then we will take you to the Gathering Family house. There you will begin your life among us."

  "Can we not just stay with you, Brother Issachar?" Hannah asked.

  "Nay, my child. That is not the way of the Shakers"

  "I do not know the way of the Shaker
s;" Hannah said. "I only know the way of the woods around our cabin"

  Issachar looked at Hannah leaning against Elizabeth and for a moment the shadow of a frown came back between his eyes. But then he smiled. "You will learn, my little sister. I will pray it is not too hard for you."

  But it was hard when they got to the Gathering Family house and the two sisters came out to them. One, called Sister Ruth by Issachar, was tall and angular with no smile on her face. Her sharp eyes looked them over as if for signs of the world they had come from yet clinging to them like the sticktights on their clothes. The other sister, Nola, was as short as the first sister was tall and a bit thick around the waist under her apron. She was smiling, welcoming them into the family even before Issachar told her their names. A few locks of gray hair sprang out from under her cap and curled down her neck. Sweat moistened her upper lip and sat in beads on her forehead. She took a plain cotton handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her face dry.

  "I spent the day stirring apple butter, and the heat of the stove stays with me,' she said almost as an apology. "It is warm for October"

  "I left the sugar there for the morrow," Issachar said before he looked at Elizabeth and Hannah. "Have patience, young sisters. And courage"

  Everything happened too quickly after that. Payton went with Issachar into the men's side of the house. Payton glanced back at Elizabeth. She saw his worry, but there was nothing she could do. She had chosen this path for them. But it wasn't until Ruth took hold of Hannah to pull her away from Elizabeth's side that she truly questioned the wisdom of her decision. Hannah clung to Elizabeth's hand.

  "Can we not stay together this night?" Elizabeth asked.

  "Nay;" the woman said. "It is better to begin the Believer's way at once. Do not let her hold to you" She yanked Hannah's hand away from Elizabeth.

  "Izzy," Hannah screamed. It had been years since she had called Elizabeth that. She jerked loose from Ruth and wrapped her arms around Elizabeth's waist. She held on so tightly that Elizabeth could barely breathe. Sister Ruth put her hands on Hannah's shoulders, and Hannah screamed again. "Izzy, don't let them take me:"

  "Please, let me talk to her," Elizabeth begged the woman. "Please"

  Ruth did not want to give in to Elizabeth's request, but Nola put a hand on Ruth's shoulder. "Give the children a moment"

  "She's not a baby;" Ruth said. "There's no reason for her screams

  "Just a few minutes;' Nola said softly.

  "Very well. A moment only." Ruth turned loose of Hannah, but she didn't look pleased.

  Elizabeth sat down on the stone steps into the house and pulled Hannah down beside her. Nola took Ruth's arm and moved her a few feet away to give them some privacy.

  "I don't want to go with her," Hannah said. "I want to stay with you"

  "I want you to stay with me:' Elizabeth put her arm around Hannah and pulled her close. "But that must not be the Shaker way.

  "Then I don't like the Shaker way"

  "It does seem strange to us, but we must try to accept their ways at least for a little while" Elizabeth tipped Hannah's face up until she was looking directly into her eyes. The panic there made her heart hurt. "We can do this, Hannah. We must do this. At least until spring. Can you try to do that? For me?"

  "And when spring comes?"

  "We'll leave if you remain unhappy with their ways."

  "Do you promise?" Hannah dug her fingers into Elizabeth's arm as she waited for her answer.

  "Yes, I promise:" Elizabeth didn't want to think of what that promise might mean or what she might have to do to keep it, but she made the promise anyway. "Do you promise in return?"

  "I will go with the mean one if you say I must" Her shoulders drooped as she let her hand fall off Elizabeth's arm.

  Elizabeth glanced over at the sisters, hoping they hadn't overheard Hannah's words. "She is not mean;' she said softly. "Only stern. She has rules we must follow"

  "I don't like rules:' The panic in Hannah's eyes changed to rebellion.

  "I know, but you will listen and do as they ask. You promised me:" Elizabeth looked at Hannah steadily until the rebellion faded from her eyes and she only looked sad. Very sad and a little frightened. Elizabeth put her hand on Hannah's heart as she had earlier at the cabin. "Remember, my love is always in your heart:"

  "But my heart hurts, Elizabeth. I'm afraid it will break apart and all the love will spill out:"

  "That can never happen. Not with my love or our mother's and father's love. It's here:" Elizabeth pressed down on Hannah's chest. "Always. Forever."

  "I believe you, Elizabeth, but I wish I could run into the woods:" Hannah looked past Elizabeth toward the trees that grew in the distance behind the houses.

  "That you cannot do;' Elizabeth said firmly. "You promised:"

  Hannah sighed heavily. "I wish I hadn't:"

  "But you did:" Elizabeth didn't look over at the two women waiting for them, but she could feel them watching them. She couldn't put off the parting any longer. "Now it is time to do as they want"

  They stood up and Hannah faced the two women as if waiting for some dire punishment as the two sisters moved toward them.

  "Worry not," the sister named Nola said to Elizabeth. "Sister Ruth is going to see to your needs, and I'll take care of young sister Hannah. She and I have much in common" Nola jerked off her cap and gray curls sprang out from her head. She touched Hannah's curls and smiled down at her. "See:"

  Hannah peered at the woman's head and then reached over to softly touch her hair. "They are not as white as mine. Nor as springy."

  "Nay, mine are much older. They've lost a good bit of their spring over the years" She smiled as she pushed her cap back down on her head. "Come, we'll find you a clean dress and some supper.

  Hannah only looked back once at Elizabeth as she walked down the path away from her. And now it was Elizabeth who had to bite her lip to keep from crying out for her.

  Ethan confessed to Brother Martin the strange feelings Elizabeth had awakened in him when he and Brother Issachar had picked the young woman and her sister and brother up on the road. He tried not to hold anything back. For true forgiveness, a Believer had need to confess his failings not only to the Eternal Father and Mother Ann but also to his designated confessor. For Ethan, that was Brother Martin, although there had been many times when he wished it could be Brother Issachar instead.

  Both men were very dear to Ethan, but they were much different. Brother Martin never stopped teaching, never stopped trying to push the young brothers in his charge closer to the perfect life all Shakers sought. He labored zealously to keep Ethan from straying from the true way of the Believer into ways of the world that would surely land his feet on a slippery slope to destruction.

  On the other hand, Brother Issachar had a way of accepting Ethan as he was while trusting he would seek out the right paths to walk on his own. Ethan could never remember Brother Issachar showing disapproval of any of the brothers or sisters. Not even when the wrong had been so obvious it had resulted in ostracism. That was why, Brother Martin said, that the Ministry did not appoint Brother Issachar as a confessor. A man had to notice fault before he could correct it.

  Brother Martin had no problem noticing fault. It was obvious he saw much fault in the feelings the young woman had aroused in Ethan.

  "You must not allow yourself to be led astray by a woman who has yet to learn the ways of a Believer such as yourself."

  "She did nothing to entice me into wrong:" Ethan felt the need to make sure Elizabeth was not blamed for his own failure to control his emotions.

  "She reeked of the world" Brother Martin stared at Ethan across the small table in the tiny room he used to work on the lessons for the boys in school. His face showed disappointment in Ethan's lapse of proper thought, but not surprise. A teacher of the young brethren for many years, he claimed there was little that could surprise him.

  "She did seem different than the sisters I know here," Ethan admitted. "Weighted down with
concern. Brother Issachar noticed as well and asked her about it"

  "Did she answer him with truth?" Brother Martin's frown deepened as he waited for Ethan's answer.

  "She avoided answering Brother Issachar's question, but I believe the younger sister spoke truth when she said her sister feared a man who wished to marry her." Ethan thought again of the strange eyes of the young child with the white curls. He started to say he didn't think the child could speak anything but truth, but there was no reason to stray from the words of his confession. The little sister had no part in the unsettled way the older girl had made him feel when he looked into her eyes.

  "The worldly joining of man and woman in marriage causes much strife. That is why we live a life of purity here at Harmony Hill without the sin of matrimony to cause problems among us. How much better it would be if all could believe! Alas, many of the world are not ready to receive the truth" Brother Martin shook his head in sorrow at the wrongness of the world. "I suppose time will tell if these new novitiates will listen and learn the true way to life, but I would not be at all surprised if they turned out to be merely winter Shakers anxious to leave as soon as the sun warms in the spring"

  A protest rose inside Ethan at the thought of the girl leaving the Shakers so soon, but he mashed it down. He surely only felt the same concern he would feel for any among their number who might too readily give up the Shaker way to go back to the world.

  Brother Martin was watching him closely as if expecting some response. When Ethan remained silent, he said, "Do you not agree?"

  "As you say, only time will tell," Ethan answered carefully. He didn't want to disappoint Brother Martin with a wrong word or thought. "But the girl claimed they had nowhere to go"

  "A woman such as her always has an eye out for another way.

  "A woman such as her?" Brother Martin's words bothered Ethan. He didn't know why he felt such a compulsion to defend this new sister he barely knew.

  "You are young, Brother Ethan. You have only had acquaintance with our gentle sisters here at Harmony Hill, but not all women are such. Some from the world have wrong thoughts and sow strife wherever they go'